DISCLAIMER: I don’t own Psych or the characters, and I'm not profiting from this.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is based on a challenge I found through the totally wonderful kipli: Pick a character in any fandom and write their fanfic about their favourite show.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
So Busted
By bank_farter
Juliet O'Hara was staring so intently at her computer screen that she didn't register the footsteps approaching from behind.
"Detective O'Hara."
At the sound of Chief Vick's voice, Juliet jumped at least three inches in the air, banging her knee hard on her desk in the process. She cursed under her breath and scrambled to slam the laptop shut before her boss could see anything… incriminating.
Shoot. Judging from the look on Chief Vick's face, she might have been too slow, but she decided to pretend as if nothing happened anyway. "Chief! What can I do for you?" She flashed what she hoped would resemble a genuine smile.
Karen gestured towards the laptop. "What was that?"
"Nothing!" Juliet said hastily.
Karen pressed on, frowning a little. "Was that a Scrubs fanfiction site?"
"No!" Juliet replied, still maintaining the fake smile. "Of course not!"
"Really?" Vick quirked an eyebrow. "Because I saw the word 'Scrubs.'"
"Oh, that," Jules began. She waved her hand dismissively and forced a laugh that she could only pray didn't sound too nervous. "I was just...looking to buy some scrubs. You know…shopping for a Halloween costume."
"…Detective, it's June."
"I like to get an early start?" Jules's smile graduated to a full-blown, desperate grin.
"Ah."
Vick crossed her arms and leaned against the door jam, and Jules cursed herself for ever thinking that she could get away with looking at that kind of stuff at work.
"So, what are you going to be?" Vick asked. Jules could swear she saw a hint of a smirk on the superior officer's lips. "You know… since you're so prepared and all."
"Oh. Um." She frantically scrambled to come up with something, anything. Come on, Jules, think! Doctor? No, too obvious. Crazed surgeon? Too tasteless for a homicide detective. Crud, she's still staring and you really need to just say somethi—
"Naughty nurse!" Juliet blurted quickly.
Vick raised her eyebrows.
Oh my god, I can't even believe I just said that! That was worse than the killer surgeon! "I mean, um, a nurse. Not naughty. Just the regular—"
Vick's eyebrows rose even further as she flashed the detective a look of total disbelief.
"Fine." Juliet sighed and slumped forward. "It was a Scrubs fan site."
Vick gave a short nod of satisfaction and then smiled mischievously. "So. What's your pairing?"
"Pairing?"
"Detective," Vick warned, her voice tinged with impatience.
"Ok, ok." You can do this, Juliet. Just say Elliot/JD. That's totally canon. Ooh, or Turk/Carla.
"Elliot/Jordan!" she blurted out.
Shoot! Shoot, shoot, shoot! Why does she have this effect on me? Maybe if I slump low enough in this chair, the floor will just open up and swallow me.
"Wow."
Juliet flinched and glanced up to see the surprised expression on the Chief's face before returning her eyes to the floor. "You can just say it," she muttered.
"What? That I'm surprised?" Vick gave a short laugh. "I am. It's not what I would have expected from you. I actually thought you'd be more of a Turk/JD type since you're so fond of Shawn and Gus." She paused. "Why Elliot/Jordan?"
Please kill me.
"Err," she began. "You know. Young, professional woman who's sort of neurotic and insecure meets domineering older woman who's—" she let her eyes dart up to Chief Vick again and bit her lip as she said the next words "—kind of hot."
The corner of Karen's mouth twitched a little, and Jules could feel the heat in her cheeks. "Kind of, eh?"
"Really," Juliet corrected, making lingering eye contact for the first time since they began the conversation.
"Interesting. Well, I'm not a fanfiction writer, but, if I were," Karen said, lowering her voice and leaning in close to Juliet. "I might write something about that insecure but very talented young professional meeting the hot, domineering woman in the locker room in, say, ten minutes? For a deep character exploration, of course."
Juliet nodded sharply, exhaling with relief and not a small amount of anticipation. "I would totally leave glowing feedback on that one."
The End