DISCLAIMER: I do not own them. I do own a poster from the play, though, because I think it's unnaturally sexy.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: It's a tiny thing. I'll be here if you have anything to say about it.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Split
By Harper
"Well, and isn't this a picture," Nanny tut-tutted, while Elphaba tried not to die from shock and embarrassment. "Turned out like your blessed mother after all, you did. And wasn't she a handful, always off with a new gentleman friend before you could right blink your eye, and so free about it. She'd be shocked speechless, she would, to see you've taken after her in this manner, Miss Elphaba."
Elphaba quite wished that Nanny herself had been shocked speechless, but the other woman seemed to have no intention of doing her the favor.
"Told Nessarose that one of you had fallen ill, what with all the moaning and groaning we could hear through the walls" Nanny continued good-naturedly. "That cream at afternoon tea did look a bit off. If they've no better to serve at Shiz, then they would be better off not serving at all."
Taking in a deep breath to compose herself, delicately inching up the top cover so that all Nanny could see were twin pairs of shoulders, one lily white to the other's green, Elphaba said sternly, "Nanny, as you can see we are both quite fine. Now please, do leave."
"Oh, and like Frex you are too," Nanny said blithely. "All that bluster and pomp, but underneath that wretched unionist shell, he'd take a roll in the hay with a man when offered, especially a Quadling. He and Melena both. Looks like you've chosen Gillikinese, but never mind that. Quadlings are too pinkish for you, I would think. The colors would quite clash, like wedding mints gone awry. But to go with a girl… well, I suppose that's his influence. And good on you, too, Miss Elphaba, or so I say."
"That's quite enough, Nanny," Elphaba snapped crossly, gritting her teeth with the effort to keep from leaping from the bed and bundling the meddlesome woman out of the door. "While I appreciate you airing the proof of the promiscuity of my parents for my later mortification, at the moment I wish you'd adopt a smidgen of discretion and leave me alone."
"Well, there's no need to be rude about it," Nanny huffed, drawing her girth up about her like a battleship ready to heave off into waters unknown. "You might want to adopt a smidgen of discretion yourself unless you want the whole of Shiz to know what you and Miss Glinda are about every night."
Eyes narrowing shrewdly, Elphaba bit out, "I shall take that under advisement, Nanny. Now, be gone!"
Huffing again, shaking her head as if in consternation at the impudence of youth these days, Nanny said smartly, "I leave it to you, then, Miss Glinda, to sweeten this one's temper."
With that, she turned, and the floorboards nearly shook under her carefully constructed affront as Nanny slammed the door behind her, the sound of Glinda's giggles trailing closely thereafter.
"Why Miss Elphie, I do believe you're blushing," she teased, drawing her head up from the refuge she'd created in the crook of Elphaba's neck.
Frowning ferociously, Elphie sniffed, "Well, she does tend to go on and I've much more productive things to be doing."
"Oh no you don't," Glinda scolding, catching Elphie's hand as her fingers began a slow, meandering trip downward. "I'm under strict instructions from Nanny. You are to be sweetened up."
"While I have been known to disagree with Nanny on many an occasion," Elphie sniffed haughtily, "on this matter, I would have to agree. Her idea was most wise."
At the sound of hearty laughter drifting through the thin walls, Nanny smiled a wry grin, tucking Nessa's shawl up around her shoulders. "Good on you, Miss Elphaba," she murmured, and Nessa frowned at the twinkle in her eyes.
The End