DISCLAIMER: Joss Weldon, Mutant Enemy, and C20th Fox; a News Corporation own the rights to Buffy The Vampire Slayer. I have not to my knowledge made any money from this fic.
Stop Crying Your Heart Out, is written by Noel Gallagher, and is performed by Oasis, from their album Heathen Chemistry.
This Fic concerns a consenting relationship between to females, and is rated PG15, for language, and sex scenes.
FEEDBACK: (orac50@hotmail.com) I am a feedback junkie, so please fulfill my craving, before I get the DT's!
PAIRING: Buffy/Faith

Stop Crying Your Heart Out
By Michael



Chapter Four: Sunnydale, Present Day.

I arrived in Sunnydale, around 11 am, having broken the news to Cordy and Angel.

Both of them wanted to come with me, but I managed to convince them to search LA, for B.

I was going to go straight to the Summer's residence, then I suddenly realised where she would be.

I entered my old apartment, with a sense of trepidation. I had not been here since B and I's big fight, and the memories of what had happened were still raw.

I don't know why she had chosen to come here. Maybe because no one would find her here, or perhaps, because it smelt of me, I do not know, even now, but I was right, she was here.

As I opened the door, I could smell Buffy, and for a second, stood on the threshold, inhaling that intoxicating scent of honeysuckle.

I walked into the open plan living room. "B?" I called. There was no answer, so I stated to explore the flat.

The first thing I did was go into the kitchen. I had come non-stop from LA, and was wickedly hungry. I opened the fridge, nothing, completely empty. So were the cupboards. The last thing I did was open the kitchen bin, which not to my surprise, was full of fast food wrappers.

I sighed, that girl worshiped the god of fast food.

I pulled out a pen and paper from a kitchen draw, and wrote B a note:


Obviously you were not here.

Sorry about your mom. I came as soon as D told me, though I expect you would know that I would come.

I am going to go and get some food, and then go round to see D, and the Scobbies. I will not tell them you are here, unless you want me to.

I will come round latter tonight, with some proper food, and I will cook.

If don't want to talk, and are not here, I will understand.

Love F

Chapter Five

I pressed the chime, on the Summer's household front door, and after a couple of minutes Giles opened the door.

Shit, he was in a state. His normal smart 'Librarian' image was disheveled, and his face looked haggard, as though he hadn't much sleep.

He looked relieved to see me, and pulled me into an embrace. I am not usually a touchy feely type of girl, but at this instance, I knew it was appreciated on both sides when I hugged him back.

"Faith, how are you?"

"Five by five, Giles, which is better than yourself."

Giles attempted a laugh, I could here it was false. "I've had better weeks!"

I came into the house. "Where's everyone?"

"Dawn's upstairs in her room. Spike's with her. He has grown very protective of her, since you were gone."

The memory of that night at the cemetery popped into my head. "I am not surprised!"

"Where are the others?" I asked Giles before he could question me.

"They are all looking for Buffy."

"She's safe."

"Have you seen her?"

"No, but I know where she is."

"Where is she?"

"Sorry G-man can't divulge, unless she wants me to. All I can say is that she is safe."

I went up stairs, before Giles could say any more, and quietly opened Dawn's bedroom door.

Dawn was a sleep on the bed, and Spike was reading some magazine.

"Hey, Willy, how is she?"

"Better than she was yesterday."

I took a better look at Spike, and noticed he was looking pale, well paler than a vampire should.

"When was the last time you drank?"

"Two days ago, but I'm, what would you say five by five."

I grinned at the vamp. "Seriously Spike, go and drink I'll sit with D."

"Thanks Slayer," and left the room.

"Faith?" A tired voice said from the bed.

"Hey kiddo. How are you holding?"

"Not well." She replied and started to cry.

I lay down besides her, and held her. After a while she stopped crying, and fell asleep again.

I laid next to her listening to her breathing, which was kind of soothing in a way, so much so that I fell asleep as well.

Chapter Six

As I walked out of the late night mart, carrying a bag of shopping, I knew I was being followed.

I sniffed the air, and discovered it wasn't a vampire, or a demon. It only took me a few blocks, to know who it was.

"You can come out D."

Dawn sheepishly came out from behind the bush.

"Why are you following me?"

"To find out where Buffy is."

"Dawn I don't know where Buffy is." I hate lying to D, but at this time I thought that B didn't want to be found.

"Don't lie to me Faith, I heard you talking to Giles, and I saw you taking Mr Godo!"

I sighed, there was no point lying now, and anyway I couldn't do it. "All right I know where she is staying, but you have to promise me you wont tell the others, until I have talked to her."

Dawn nodded, and we headed to my old apartment.

"B," I called out as I entered the apartment.

"B, Dawn's with me."

There was no reply.

She had been there, as the note had been moved, and the kitchen bin was full of trash again, after I had emptied it.

I set the groceries down, and got Dawn to start to cut up some vegetables, while I looked at the note. B had written 'see you latter,' on the bottom of it.

We finished cooking the stir-fry, and eat in silence. It was obvious that she wasn't going to turn up, and I had to patrol.

Dawn, of course, wanted to stay here, but I managed to persuade her that it wasn't a good idea.

We bumped into Spike lurking around the streets, and he said he would take D home. He also told me that he had seen Buffy, in Wilson's Cemetery, I nodded my thanks and headed that way.

Patrol was uneventful, Glory seems to scaring the Vamps away, but B was with me all the time. I didn't see her, but I could feel her presence.

"See ya B." I called, and headed back towards Angel's mansion, where I was staying.

When I figured that she wasn't following me any more, I skirted through the back streets, back to my old apartment.

I quietly let myself in, and B was asleep on the bed, clutching Mr Godo.

Deciding it would be best if I stayed with her, I pulled a blanket out of a closet, and was about to settle down on the couch.

"Faith?" Buffy murmured.

"Yeah B?"

"Hold me."

I striped down to my underwear, and climbed into the bed with B.

As I held B, she snuggled closer and closer into me, until she was quietly sobbing in my chest.

"She's gone Faith, what am I going to do?"

"Shhh B, I'm here now, and I am not going any where. It may take a along time, but eventually it will be five by five.

The song that B sang to me, in the warehouse, popped into my, head, so I started to sing it.

Eventually we both fell a sleep, and stayed in each other's arms until morning.

I woke up early the next morning. B was still asleep, so I carefully untAngeld my self from her, got dressed, and headed out, to get some pastries, for breakfast.

As I came back to the apartment block, munching on a Danish, I saw D sitting on the steps.

It was the day of Joyce's funeral, and I guess she wanted to make sure that B was going to come.

"Hey kiddo, wanna pastry?" I asked, offering the box.

D nodded, and took one and followed me into the building.

We climbed the stairs in companionable silence, each munching on our Danish, lost in our own thoughts, about the day ahead.

As we entered the apartment, I knew that B was not there.

The note that I had written, had something else written on it, in B's hand writing:

Gone for a walk, to clear my head, I will see you there.


D took one look at the note, and started to scream. "She's not coming, she's not coming!"

I was starting to get worried. Dawn was getting hysterical.

I grabbed her by the shoulders, and shock her. "Listen to me, Dawn, she will come. Joyce was her mother, as well as yours, and she loved her. She needs to cope in her own way.

I pulled Dawn in close, and held her for a long while she calmed down.

I looked at her "Are you going to be alright?"

"I think so. Thank you"

"No worries D, as I said to B, I am not going any where, and we will all get through this together."

I glanced my watch, it was getting late, and Giles' would be worried.

"Come on D, we better get going."

Chapter: Seven

The funeral service had started, and B had still not showed up, and I was starting to wonder if B would show up at all.

Dawn, who was standing next to me, was crying. I put my hand around her as the minister droned on.

I was starting to zone out, a combination of grief and boredom, when my Slayer senses, went to full alert.

I immediately went into Slayer mode, and started to scan around the cemetery, where I saw B battling against some demons.

This was so unfair. Spike, Angel and I went into Willie's and threatened a horrible death to any demon that caused trouble today. And now there was a couple doing just that.

"Shit!" I exclaimed softly

Giles who was standing next to me looked up and saw what was going on.

"Bloody hell!" He stated, and started to go and help Buffy.

I held him back. "Stay with Dawn, I'll go," And started to jog towards the battle.

"You must be new in town?" I asked one of the demons, as I kicked him. "Cause you have to new or stupid, to have ignored my advice."

"What's that, Slayer's pet?" The demon asked, as he tried to kick me.

I jumped back and caught his foot, and started to laugh. "Slayer's pet. Didn't you know I am Faith, The Vampire Slayer!" And pushed.

"Fuck!" He said as he fell to the ground.

He had clearly had enough, and decided to abandoned his mate, and make a run for it.

Meanwhile Buffy had the advantage over her demon, and seeing that his friend had gone, also decided to make a break for it.

Buffy was about to chase after them, but I stopped them. "Let it go B," I said softly to her, "lets go and pay respects to your mom."

The minister had just finished, when we came back. Giles said a few words, after that it was a bit of a blur. I was standing there wondering if there was a god, or goddess, why he or she could do such a shit thing.

Giles sort of shock me out of it. I looked up, and saw that was only me, B and Dawn, that was still there.

By the look on the Summer's girls, they too had zoned out.

"I think we should leave now Buffy."

"Giles, would you mind if we stayed here for a bit? Dawn and I are not up for entertaining."

Giles nodded, and I started to leave with him.

Dawn held me back. "Faith will you stay with us? Mom, in the end thought of you as another daughter. Actually I think she always did. She would of wanted you to stay"

I was deeply touched. In some way's I thought of Joyce the mum I never had, I think that is what made me so guilty about what I had done to her. I had never thought it went both ways.

"Sure D, I'll stay."

I grabbed D's, and B's hands, and we sat down on the grass.

We were there for the rest of day, not saying much, just sitting their paying vigil.

Eventually Spike and Angel found us.

We were sitting under a tree; both B and D were a sleep, B against my shoulder, and D with her head in my lap.


"Hi guy's, what ya doing here?"

"Faith, luv it's one in the morning." Spike informed me.

"Shit!" I exclaimed. "Didn't know we had been here for so long."

Angel sat down "Rupert told me you had trouble with a couple of demons."

Faith had not seen Spike or Angel this happy for a long time.

"Yeah, I think not everyone got our message. They will be toast tomorrow."

"No need to worry luv." Spike replied.

"Urhh!" is all I could mutter.

Spike grinned at Angel. "Lets just say they won't be in Wiles."

"You killed them?"

"In the most horrible way possible." Angel said he was grinning as well.

It suddenly dawned on me that these two hated each other's guts. "I thought you two did not get along?" I asked.

"We have had a heart to heart!" Angel explained.

I looked at the bruising on both their faces. "I can see that!" I replied.

"Angel's got trouble in LA, and I am going to help him."

Angel shot Spike a dirty look, and was about to have a go at the English Vampire.

"Shit mate, your going to have to tell them eventually, it does concern Buffy."

"What concerns me?" B asked pulling herself away from me.

Angel sighed. "Darla is back!"

Buffy looked confused. "What's that got to do with me?"

It was Spike who continued. "She wants to kill you Buffy, for killing her sire, and soul boy here has a problem with killing her!"

"I killed her sire?" Buffy asked. She had a puzzled look on her face.

"The Master!"

Buffy's face fell. And I could see the tears well up in her green eyes. "I just want a normal life."

I pulled back into me and held her. "It's all right B, I'll go back to LA with Angel and stake her!"

"Don't bother Slayer, you stay here where you are needed. I'll go."

"You'll do that for me?" Buffy asked amazed.

Spike replied. "I'm a simple vampire. I kill, and I drink. True, I like to kill Slayers, but that is just for the image. As I said to you before, I don't want any of this destroying the world shit."

He looked at Angel. "Darla's different, she is a psycho bitch. She is like Angelus, but worse. If she could reopen the hell mouth, she would destroy the world, just for a laugh."

Spike shrugged his shoulders. "Besides, I have a score to settle with Darla." Trying to put his hard man image back in place.

He changed the subject. "You three should go home."

B got indignant. "Who will stay with mom?"

"Buffy," Angel said. "You can't stay here, you have to get on with your own life. That is what your mom would want."

"And what the fuck would you know?"

I could feel Dawn stir in my lap, obviously awake, but pretending to be asleep. I grabbed here hand. "D do you want to stay here?"

She shook her head. "I would like to stay with you tonight."

"What about you Buffy? Are you going to stay here, or come back with us?"

"Luv I'll stay here. I liked your mom, and I want to pay my respects."

B looked at the pleading of her sister, and then at me. "All right," she conceded.

We arrived back at the apartment, and started to straiten out the blanket on the couch. "You two can have the bed, I'll take the couch."

Dawn looked at the King Size bed. "I think there is room for all of us."

I looked at Buffy. "Ok if that's what you want, and you let me have the middle."

We lay in the bed, talking. About everything and nothing. Of course the subject of Joyce came up.

The girls talked about all the good times they had with her. Dawn had become upset, because she had not really been there.

I argued that if they all had the memories, then she must have been there.

Gradually minute-by-minute, hour-by-hour, the conversation got lighter and not so sorrowful, until at one point, both Buffy and Dawn were laughing at a stupid comment I made.

As I lay on bed between Dawn, and B, I began to wonder whether, perhaps things were going to be all right.

I hoped so, as carrying Dawn, Buffy, and the rest of the Scobies, was eating me up inside, and if I couldn't grieve for Joyce soon, I would pushed back over that dark edge, that had taken me so long to climb out, and this time there may be no way back.

Chapter Eight

A couple of weeks had gone by, and everything had gone back to some sort of resemblance of normality, well the normality of Sunnyhell!

Glory had been quiet, and Buffy and Dawn had gone back to College and School respectively. I myself had got myself a job as a photographer. I had always been good with a camera, so after buying some gear (Angel lent me the money), I went pro, working for the Sunnydale Chronicle, as a Photographer, during the day, and slaying at night.

Working at the Chronicle was a godsend, as it gave me inside info, of what was going on Demon wise.

However, lately it been all too quiet. There was no sign of Glory, and the local vamp population was keeping its head down.

At first I thought it was Glory, but rumors of what Spike did to Darla, came circulating back, and when he reappeared, a lot of vamps left town.

Charity came calling one day, on the subterfuge, that she wanted of seeing Giles, but it did not take her long to come and find me. I had a morning off, so I was in the training room, in the basement of the 'Magic Box.' When I saw her.

"Hallo Faith how are you?"

"Under the circumstances. Five by Five."

"Giles is a bit worried about you. He thinks that you are shouldering to much."

"Well somebody's got to do it."

"So was it him that got you to come up from LA?"

Charity laughed. "Actually he thought was you."

Faith grinned, she liked Charity, and they had become good friends. "Your one devious lady Charity Hope!"

I sobered up. "Actually I was going to ring you anyway. "Giles and I had our own grieving session, just on our own, which made the pair of us much better, but I thought a different perspective may be in order.

I sat down on a gym mat, and Charity sat down next to me.

"So where do you want to begin?" She asked.

"Well for a start I feel guilty."

"Why, because you couldn't stop Joyce from dying?"

"No, I'm pissed off about that. I know I couldn't do anything, I am pissed off that she was taken so early.

"What I am guilty about, is the way I treated her, and I didn't have time to make it up to her."

Charity looked at me worriedly.

"No I am not going to do anything stupid," I reassured her.

"Do you feel sad?"

"Of course I feel fucking sad!" I lost my temper at her.

I realised what I did. "Sorry didn't mean to shout at you."

"That's all right. I have had worse!"

"I miss her, she was like a mother to me, and I never had a chance to say good bye." I started to sob.

"What do you want to do now?" She asked.

"Cry," I replied, and I did.

I felt better after that, not five by five, but better.

I knew that the only way I would feel completely better, was to grieve in public in front of B and D, but I knew the time wasn't right; I still had to be strong for them.

It was the next day. D and I were over at Red's and Tara's dorm room, getting out from under B's feet (I was a permanent resident at the Summers house now).

We had some how got onto the subject of witchcraft, and Dawn asked Red, if there was a spell that would bring Joyce back?

Willow replied there was, and the two Wicca's got into an argument about the pros and cons of brining someone back.

After a while we persuaded, D that trying to bring her mother back was a bad idea, well we thought that we had persuaded D, we were wrong.

The next day, I had a big photographic assignment, which turned out to be a demon, doing high class break ins. I had decided that I would photograph the demon in the middle of the break in, and then slay him!

Giles and Buffy both said they would help me, so we left Dawn, helping Anya at the Magic Box.

It was late at night when we got back to the Magic Box. Everything was locked up and quite. As soon as Giles entered the shop, he discovered that something was wrong.

"Bloody Hell, someone's going to try a reincarnation spell." He said, when he had discovered what was missing.

"Dawn." I whispered.

Buffy and Giles looked at me in shock.

"No time to explain," I said turning into action girl. "Giles go and get Willow and Tara, and meet us at Joyce's grave.

"Buffy we better hurry."

I had nightmares about what happened that night for years afterwards.

I pelted out of the Magic Box, and headed towards the cemetery where Joyce was buried.

"What's Dawn done?" B asked as she caught up with me.

"Tara and Willow told her about a re-incantation spell. The trouble with re-incantation spells is that you usually get more back than you wanted."

"Oh god," Buffy said as she realised what I meant, and she increased her pace to the cemetery.

We were too late D had already started the spell.

"Dawnie hon, please stop." Buffy pleaded with her sister.

Dawn seemed to be oblivious to what was going on.

There was a loud bang, accompanied by a flash, and D was thrown back. B and I dragged her away. Then looked on in horror as the fresh soil on Joyce's grave started to collapse.

A figure emerged from the grave.

"Mom." Buffy whispered.

I looked at Joyce, or the creature pretending to be Joyce, as I could see clearly from the evil malice on her face, that this was not Joyce.

"Hello sweetie, have you missed me?"

"Mom, I thought I would never see you again."

"Buffy I have missed you so much." She held out her hand. "Come to me Buffy. Bring Dawn and we will be together for ever."

I grabbed hold of B as she bent down to pick up the unconscious Dawn. 'Shit,' I thought. 'Where is Giles?'

I looked Buffy in the eyes. "Buffy listen to me that is not your mother!"

She tried to shake me off, so I wrestled her to the ground, and sat on her. "Sorry B this is going to hurt me more than you!" And I slugged her around the face.

Left the unconscious Buffy Summers on the ground, and faced the monster, that was in Joyce's Summers body.

I knew they would be calling up a new Slayer. I had no weapons, and would be no match against this thing. When I was dead, it would claim Buffy and Dawn.

Just then there was a cry, and a bleached blond English Vamp. Jumped out of a tree on top of the Joyce thing. It just swot him off, and he went sailing through the sky, and hit a tree.


I turned around to find Giles with the rest of the Scobies. He had a loaded crossbow, which I took off him

The Joyce thing was coming for us again. I realised the cross bow, and a cross bolt pierced it's shoulder, and pinned it to a tree.

The monster screamed in pain, and for a moment I could see. It's true face. Then there was silence.

I reloaded the cross bow, and walked up to the monster to finish it off. But I stopped, the expression on the on it's face was different.

"Mrs. S?" I asked.

"Hallo Faith. I am glad you came back to Sunnydale"

I knew there was something I could say, that I thought I would never have the chance of saying. "Mrs. S, I'm sorry for all the things I put you through. Everyday it upsets me every day, when I think of what I did to you."

"Faith don't cry, I forgave you a long time ago."

Joyce cried, and the face changed for a second. "Faith you are going to have to kill me, I can't hold on for much longer. But I want you to do something."

"Anything," I replied

"Look after my girls for me. They are going to need you."

"I swear, I will protect them with my life."

She smiled. "Good, or I shall come down from heaven, and kick your arse!"

She cried out again, as she finally lost the battle, and the demon tried to rip out the cross bolt.

I aimed the cross bow at the Demons heart, and realised the trigger.

The thing screamed in pain, and was silent.

I collapsed onto the ground. I could grieve now.

The next thing I knew B was holding me.

Later on I found out that, by using magic, Red and Tara had put the body back in the ground, and cast a protection spell around the grave.

As I sat on the grass. Looked at my friends. And I finally realised, that everything was going to be all right.

To Be Continued

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