DISCLAIMER: The L Word and its characters are the property of Showtime. No infringement intended.
WARNING: Briefly mentions self-harm and eludes to sexual abuse.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
SPOILERS: Season 2.

Strange Little Girl
By Babydykecate


{1} shane hesitates / her hands gripping the door frame //

watching the strange little girl trapped in her strange little world //

a lost little girl not made for this life //

she deserves the beauty of idealistic stories //

fairy tales that end in a kiss // but she's not made for this world //

so she fights / speaks / acts against the rules //

and she'll never get her fairy tale

{2} {jenny} she'd forgotten that tightropes where just fragile lengths of rope //

an inch of twisted hemp keeping her alive //

the urge to soar high // far away from people // their eyes upon her //

and ground that smells rotten with mechanic's oil / popcorn / cheap new toys //

desperation // escape / had made her foolish / stupid little girl // run away //

don't fall // no one's going to help you // save you // don't make a sound

cries trapped in her throat // see it // catch me

{3} {jenny} the water's probably cold now // but her skin's numb // and cold is the least of her worries //

numb inside // that's the cliche // the absence of feeling // the need to feel something //

so they make a little line // pain spilling into a visible source //

jenny isn't numb // every emotion is there // fighting // bubbling // controlling // taking over //

a desire to cry endlessly // broken little girl //

crying hurts // takes too much // she only has a little left //

just a little line // so her thoughts can clear // little lines // again and again //

trading // one sin for another // one pain for another // you never win

{4} {shane} back from the hospital // from babies / joy / relief /

your hands still linked // she's in your room // boundaries blurred//

she doesn't realize where you are // her head slumped against your shoulder // her eyes closed //

you pull her into the bed // both of you still dressed //

a bit of hope that earrings and shoes make it off before you both pass out //

she stirs as you pull up the covers // she looks back at you / confused //

carmen? // you shake your head // friends before lovers//

she finds your shoulder again // curled against you // beautiful little girl

{5} {jenny} the space between day and night // when your lips meet // hesitant and soft //

sheets warmed by your body // wrapped now around her//

the curtains glow // morning trying to interrupt //

but your bodies are stuck together // magnets never close enough //

her smile // hidden under the covers // only for your eyes

{6} {jenny} the only moments you measure / are the ones before she's in your arms

you're afraid to appear clingy // but you only feel fully alive when she's near

{7} {jenny} you handle her like glass // your fingers careful as can be //

you pray she doesn't notice / you've broken everything you've ever touched

{8} {jenny} too late // you should have been more careful // crazy's back again//

inescapable tide // the storm always coming / hidden only by the clouds//

you hate this part of you // haunted little ghost // condemned to this prison//

fucked up little girl

{9} {jenny} go away // you'll hurt her if you have to //

it's the only way to save her / from you

{10} {jenny} written by the light that spills under the door //

punctuated by her breathing // your hands shake when she stirs//

you had it write it down // before the love you had finally shatters for good // glass shards as small as dust //

nothing left to prove that / for a brief moment / she was yours

{11} {jenny} you don't get to keep what you broke //

you'd been cruel // fighting demons in your head // lost control //

the whole world seemed like demons / you were trying to survive //

damaged little girl // tore the wings off her angel //

it was only fair that she broke you back //

the devil in her arms // in your bed //

her eyes were cold // no remorse //

getting even //

maybe the devil was you

{12} {jenny} she stands in your doorway // grasping at words // that she can barely form //

apoligies are foreign words on her tongue // pleading even more so //

if only you weren't still broken / pieces lost in the floorboards /

from when you found her in your bed / two naked eves with their forbidden fruit //

when you admit you never found all the pieces / she starts searching the floor/

and you dare to hope a little

{13} {jenny} she spent the week in your room / always searching the floor //

you tried to enjoy having her close / knowing she'd give up soon //

you came home one day to find a tiny box on your bed / every last shard inside //

she helps you put each piece back / then places your fingers on her almost healed scars //

perhaps your broken shards got mixed up / because you're two strange little girls /

never one without the other

The End

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