DISCLAIMER: The L Word and its characters are the property of
Showtime. No infringement intended.
WARNING: Briefly mentions self-harm and eludes to sexual abuse.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
SPOILERS: Season 2.
Strange Little Girl
By Babydykecate
{1} shane hesitates / her hands gripping the door frame //
watching the strange little girl trapped in her strange little world //
a lost little girl not made for this life //
she deserves the beauty of idealistic stories //
fairy tales that end in a kiss // but she's not made for this world //
so she fights / speaks / acts against the rules //
and she'll never get her fairy tale
{2} {jenny} she'd forgotten that tightropes where just fragile lengths of rope //
an inch of twisted hemp keeping her alive //
the urge to soar high // far away from people // their eyes upon her //
and ground that smells rotten with mechanic's oil / popcorn / cheap new toys //
desperation // escape / had made her foolish / stupid little girl // run away //
don't fall // no one's going to help you // save you // don't make a sound
cries trapped in her throat // see it // catch me
{3} {jenny} the water's probably cold now // but her skin's numb // and cold is the least of her worries //
numb inside // that's the cliche // the absence of feeling // the need to feel something //
so they make a little line // pain spilling into a visible source //
jenny isn't numb // every emotion is there // fighting // bubbling // controlling // taking over //
a desire to cry endlessly // broken little girl //
crying hurts // takes too much // she only has a little left //
just a little line // so her thoughts can clear // little lines // again and again //
trading // one sin for another // one pain for another // you never win
{4} {shane} back from the hospital // from babies / joy / relief /
your hands still linked // she's in your room // boundaries blurred//
she doesn't realize where you are // her head slumped against your shoulder // her eyes closed //
you pull her into the bed // both of you still dressed //
a bit of hope that earrings and shoes make it off before you both pass out //
she stirs as you pull up the covers // she looks back at you / confused //
carmen? // you shake your head // friends before lovers//
she finds your shoulder again // curled against you // beautiful little girl
{5} {jenny} the space between day and night // when your lips meet // hesitant and soft //
sheets warmed by your body // wrapped now around her//
the curtains glow // morning trying to interrupt //
but your bodies are stuck together // magnets never close enough //
her smile // hidden under the covers // only for your eyes
{6} {jenny} the only moments you measure / are the ones before she's in your arms
you're afraid to appear clingy // but you only feel fully alive when she's near
{7} {jenny} you handle her like glass // your fingers careful as can be //
you pray she doesn't notice / you've broken everything you've ever touched
{8} {jenny} too late // you should have been more careful // crazy's back again//
inescapable tide // the storm always coming / hidden only by the clouds//
you hate this part of you // haunted little ghost // condemned to this prison//
fucked up little girl
{9} {jenny} go away // you'll hurt her if you have to //
it's the only way to save her / from you
{10} {jenny} written by the light that spills under the door //
punctuated by her breathing // your hands shake when she stirs//
you had it write it down // before the love you had finally shatters for good // glass shards as small as dust //
nothing left to prove that / for a brief moment / she was yours
{11} {jenny} you don't get to keep what you broke //
you'd been cruel // fighting demons in your head // lost control //
the whole world seemed like demons / you were trying to survive //
damaged little girl // tore the wings off her angel //
it was only fair that she broke you back //
the devil in her arms // in your bed //
her eyes were cold // no remorse //
getting even //
maybe the devil was you
{12} {jenny} she stands in your doorway // grasping at words // that she can barely form //
apoligies are foreign words on her tongue // pleading even more so //
if only you weren't still broken / pieces lost in the floorboards /
from when you found her in your bed / two naked eves with their forbidden fruit //
when you admit you never found all the pieces / she starts searching the floor/
and you dare to hope a little
{13} {jenny} she spent the week in your room / always searching the floor //
you tried to enjoy having her close / knowing she'd give up soon //
you came home one day to find a tiny box on your bed / every last shard inside //
she helps you put each piece back / then places your fingers on her almost healed scars //
perhaps your broken shards got mixed up / because you're two strange little girls /
never one without the other
The End