DISCLAIMER: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit and its characters are the property of NBC and Dick Wolf.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
SPOILERS: Spoilers for 3.18 Guilt.
The Sum of Contradictions: 17. Evidence
By beurre blanc
"I love you too, Alex."
"You wh- ?" Alex's voice faded to a whisper. She looked down and away, eyes narrowing briefly, the hint of a frown playing on her forehead. Finally she closed her eyes, and took a deep sighing breath.
Olivia bit the inside of her lip, and her heart hammered as she watched Alex trying to process her declaration. "You're reviewing the evidence, aren't you." It was a statement, not a question. She had seen that look often enough to know.
Dozens of images flashed through Alex's mind arguments and flowers, laughter and drinks and jazz, teasing questions and flirtatious answers, sympathy, empathy, expectations and trust, unreasonable hurt, and unreasoned remorse, unexpected solidarity, irresistible urge, devastation and tears, and one night of spectacular fulfillment. Alex opened her eyes. She nodded slowly, expression wistful, almost puzzled. With a very clear undercurrent that declared 'stay back'.
"What's wrong Alex?" Olivia felt the stirring of unease.
Alex blinked quickly, and swallowed. God, this is going to sound trite.
"Alex?" Olivia's disquiet was now plainly evident.
"All my life, Liv, my expectations were I never anticipated that when I fell in love," she paused to swallow again, "it would be with a woman. It's well it's just not what I expected," she finished lamely. "I'm sorry."
Alex got up suddenly, and walked across to the window.
Olivia sat on the couch, staring at Alex, feeling completely lost. It had clearly escaped Alex that this was all new to her too
The rejection ought to have stung, should have cut her to the core. Olivia's subconscious vaguely protested that she should be arguing, objecting, screaming anything to delay the onset of the pain. Instead she felt numb. Her body reacted by standing up and walking over to collect Alex's jacket and overcoat, while her mind couldn't get past 'but I've just told you that I love you' She walked slowly back to Alex, who stood by the window, watching her quietly, expression unreadable.
They stood, face to face, only inches apart now, as Olivia tried to press Alex's clothes into her hands, a last act of propriety before she lost it completely. Much more adept now at reading her silences, Alex studied Olivia, surprise rapidly succeeded by comprehension. Oh, sweetheart. This is assimilation, not rejection. It was a misperception she needed to rectify without delay.
Alex dropped the coats, cupped Olivia's face, and lifted her chin until Olivia was forced to look at her. "I love you," she declared, and watched as the words reached home. In the instant between Olivia's smile leaving her heart and appearing on her face Alex captured her lips in a kiss that began as gentle reassurance, and ended as a searing exploration of lips, tongue, teeth. Alex's reserve burst apart, and she kissed Olivia hungrily, hands threading into her hair, hips pushing forward to press their bodies together. Another 'I love you ' between kisses was met with an answering moan, and she pushed her hands beneath Olivia's layered red and white shirts, lifting them to smooth her fingers across warm olive skin.
"Oh Alex," Olivia murmured, "Alex ," as she let her hands roam across the lawyer's back, and downwards, reacquainting herself with lean curves.
Finally Alex brought a hand to Olivia's cheek, stilling her, resting their foreheads gently against one another. "Make love to me, Liv."
Olivia pulled back slightly, until their eyes met, the question implicit. Alex's lazy smile passed through mischievous, and went on to radiant. She nodded, and Olivia's uncertainty evaporated. Olivia grinned as she leaned in to kiss Alex, teasingly once, and again, light kisses, gentle caresses with lips and tongue, dodging away from the blonde each time she tried to deepen the kiss, until Alex groaned, captured the detective's face in both hands, and kissed her soundly.
Olivia broke the kiss to lift her arms up and let Alex pull the shirts over her head. "You do realize that if we make love now," she said, as she started unbuttoning Alex's striped cotton shirt, "we'd be breaking your rules."
Alex, who was now dividing her efforts between undoing Olivia's jeans, and kissing her way up the detective's neck towards her earlobe, still had sufficient capacity to respond, "I think that we ought to renegotiate " She eased her hands between the jeans and Olivia's buttocks, and pushed the jeans down. "Don't you?"
"Think you could offer me a better deal, then?"
A naked Alex lowered herself down beside Olivia, until she was propped on one elbow. She reached up to run her fingers through the brunette's hair, brushing it back away from her forehead. Olivia closed her eyes and sighed with the sheer pleasure of knowing the soft fingertips belonged to the woman she loved.
"What are you thinking?" Alex whispered, now running her thumb across Olivia's lips.
"Can't you tell?"
Alex gazed at her, and felt an overwhelming surge of emotion desire, relief, apprehension and love. "Me too."
She let her hand drift downwards, over the detective's shoulder, and down along the satin strap of her bra. She hooked her fingers beneath the soft material and slowly drew it down over Olivia's shoulder and arm, revealing a dark brown nipple already firm and pebbled with desire. Then, with exquisite slowness, she lowered her mouth until she could trace a wet circle around the areola, finally drawing her lips together over the nipple and sucking gently as her tongue rasped the very tip. "Oh, baby," Olivia moaned.
Alex lifted slowly onto her knees, so she could more easily remove the bra altogether, and lavish the same attention on Olivia's other breast. As she did so Olivia lifted and twisted to grasp the blonde's thighs, tipping her over so that Alex now lay with her head to the foot of the bed, and Olivia had only to urge one leg upwards to reveal the full lips of Alex's sex, aroused and open, like the petals of an exotic flower. She ran her fingertips slowly up Alex's inner thigh, then blew gently across the tip of Alex's engorged clit as it peeked from between her lips. This time it was Alex who moaned, and she redoubled her efforts to remove Olivia's remaining clothing, a much easier prospect now that she faced Olivia's own sex, despite the distraction of what Olivia was doing with hers.
With the satin panties now gone, Alex concentrated on mimicking Olivia's movements a lick to the inner thigh was met with an answering one, a nip, gentle suction, another lick and a kiss. Teasing and tender kisses, flirting and skating in ever smaller circles. A caress with two fingertips which separated to run around her entrance and along her labia towards her clit was likewise returned. Olivia now opened Alex's lips to lick from the apex down to her clit, and around it, barely managing to hold still when Alex did the same, and then, as if by silent signal each woman lowered her mouth simultaneously to bestow the most intimate of kisses upon her lover. Caressing, penetrating fingers followed, and the sucking swirl of tongues and lips was met by each with mounting tension, hips urging forwards, knees and thighs held wide to offer unfettered access. Alex moaned involuntarily, as she sucked Olivia's clit into her mouth, and the resulting sensation took Olivia right to the edge. She curled her fingers inside Alex as she licked and drank, sensing Alex's impending orgasm, and knowing that as soon as Alex did the same to her she'd reach her own climax. As she felt Alex's fingers start to curl and thrust she returned the moan against Alex's clit, sucked suddenly, and abandoned herself to a simultaneous climax that seemed to extend for minutes, emanating from her lower belly and spreading right through her limbs, wave after wave. Alex's uncontrolled moans and thrusting hips still mimicked her own, and she drank deeply of the nectar that flowed from her lover's center. When the aftershocks and spasms of each had finally subsided, Alex used the last of her strength to lift and turn, lowering herself to kiss Olivia, sharing their flavors in a last intimate union before both relaxed into exhausted sleep.
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