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"You did not!" Kate laughed.
"I did!" Abby insisted.
Kate leaned against the edge of the swing and stared at Abby, looking for any sign the other woman was pulling her chain. "You knew you were bisexual when you were four years old?"
"Yep," Abby nodded.
Kate walked around Abby and took a seat in the next swing. They were on their way back from dinner when Abby had ecstatically pointed at the park they were passing. Kate had pulled over and Abby had darted towards the swings while Kate followed at a more leisurely - and alert - pace. She kept her gun in her purse and her hand resting on the butt, just in case.
Then, they had somehow gotten onto the subject of when they'd known they were attracted to women. "Okay," Kate said, still sounding skeptical. "So how did you come about this elementary revelation?"
Abby had spun her swing until the chain was coiled tightly around itself. She lifted her boots off the ground and let it begin to unwind on its own. As she whipped around, she tucked her legs in and ducked her head. Kate was amazed by the whirlwind Abby had become, the twin ponytails sticking straight out as the swing returned itself to it's original position.
"My preschool was in this little portable building behind the main elementary school. When the bell rang at the end of the day, we'd all run out to the playground. My favorites were the swings, but there was a little girl in my class who was scared of them. So one day, I decided to help her and show her it was okay. So she sat on my lap and we started to swing."
"Kinky," Kate smiled.
Abby glared at her. "We were four, Kate."
"Sorry, sorry," Kate said, holding up her hands in surrender.
Abby looked across the moonlit park. The grass looked almost blue-white in the full moon, the slide transformed into a slab of futuristic metal that glistened under its own power. Abby kicked at the sand under the swing and said, "Anyway, we got up higher and higher and her hands were white-knuckle on the chains the entire time. Total spaz moment, I was so worried she was going to try to jump, so I started to tell her it was okay."
"Did she fall?"
"No. I stopped the swing eventually and she got off my lap and thanked me. Then, she bent down and kissed me on the lips."
"On the lips?"
"Not..." She waved her hands. "Not sexual or anything. Like... well..."
She got out of her swing and walked over to Kate. She bent down and pressed her lips against the space between Kate's upper lip and her nose. "Like that."
"Oh," Kate said, blushing suddenly. "Yeah. Sure. Not sexual at all."
Abby returned to her swing and crossed her ankles. "Anyway, I never, ever forgot that. The way it made me feel, the way I wanted it to happen again. Eventually, I discovered boys weren't all that icky, but... it was always in the back of my mind that girls really weren't icky."
"How about with you?"
"Oh," Kate said, shaking her head. "No, I... I don't tell that story."
"Come on, Kate," Abby said. "From the start, what have we said? I'll show you mine if you show me yours. You've seen mine..."
Kate smiled sadly. "Mine doesn't exactly end with sweet kisses on the playground."
Abby paused, then said, "The girl who kissed me that day on the playground was named Sarah Reese. When I was twelve, I went over to her house and we were playing in her bedroom. I started to try to kiss her and she started screaming. She called me a dyke, told all my friends at school to be careful or I would rape them and I spent seventh and eighth grade as a pariah. Sad enough ending for you?"
Kate looked down at her feet. "I was at a party. I had felt it for a long time, being more attracted to my friends than to any boy. I was in the kitchen with a girl I'd known... God, since forever... and we were talking about boys. She asked me if I'd ever felt 'that way' for a girl and, hell, I was so comfortable, I told her yes. She asked if she could kiss me. And I... said yes."
She closed her eyes and touched the bridge of her nose. Abby got out of her swing and moved over, straddling Kate's legs and facing her. Kate exhaled, her breath shaking and she pressed her face into Abby's sweater. "I kissed her... at which point, the kitchen door opened and a half dozen football players stormed in. Laughing, with a video camera."
"Kate," Abby breathed.
"I don't like to tell people about when I found out I was bisexual, because... I-I was the last one to know."
Abby held Kate's head and began to rock her. Eventually, the swing was moving them back and forth in a slow arc. "Oh, Kate, we should..."
"No," Kate said, wrapping both arms around Abby's waist. "Let's just... swing for a while? I promise not to run away if you try to kiss me."
Abby smiled and pumped her legs again. The swing carried them higher, Kate clinging to Abby if their balance got a little upset. Every time one of them started to fall, the other corrected her and they continued to swing. Abby put her lips next to Kate's ear. "Kate?"
Abby hesitated, biting her bottom lip and then shook her head. "Never mind."
Kate smiled, insinuating the meaning. "Me, too, Abby."
Abby smiled and pressed her face into Kate's shoulder.
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