DISCLAIMER: No profit is intended in the writing of this story. Star Trek - Enterprise and its characters are the property of Paramount and Viacom
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I tried to inform me how a Vulcan woman experiences her pon farr. Unfortunately there are only a few informations about it. The book "Dwellers in the crucible" by Margaret Wander Bonanno was a great help. The author describes the pon far of a Vulcan female while she and a Human female were kidnapped by the Klingons and Romulans. The story of the book plays between TOS and TNG.
SERIES: This story continues the series Change, Heartbeat, Morningdawn, Cover, Dusk, Questions and Pain.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
BETA: Bev and GroovyGoddess.

By Olli


T'Pol sat in Ensign Sato's quarters and watched her expectantly. She had just talked for forty five minutes about things that were never meant for the ears of non-Vulcans. She had told Hoshi in great detail about Pon Farr. Finally T'Pol had asked her lover for help and now she waited for an answer.

It had cost her a lot to come here tonight to speak with Hoshi. Her upbringing was a great hurdle to overcome, and on her way to the human's quarters, T'Pol had asked herself again and again if she did the right thing. Not only talking about her Pon Farr… could she expect a decision from Hoshi which would influence the rest of the young woman's life – provided that the mental bond would work. T'Pol was certain if she lost her self-control during Pon Farr, instinctively she would try to establish such a bond with Hoshi. She wouldn't be able to suppress it.

Hoshi sat in a chair facing T'Pol. The Vulcan had insisted on this as she had entered Hoshi's quarters at the end of her shift. T'Pol's face had been like a stony mask when she had explained the need to talk about important things. And that it might not be appropriate to take the seriousness off the situation by exchanging physical signs of affection.

Hoshi had listened quietly, wavering between fascination, surprise and fear. It was the first time she heard about Pon Farr. That Vulcans had a mating cycle of seven years didn't surprise her because some non-Human species had such cycles. But Hoshi had never heard about an intelligent species where the partners could die if the cycle wouldn't be fulfilled. And she had never heard that a spiritual bond would develop between the partners during this cycle. And now T'Pol had asked her to save her live and maybe bond to her for the rest of her life!

Hoshi loved T'Pol; she had no doubt about that. Never before, for no other person, had she ever felt what she felt for the woman who was sitting on the couch opposite the little table, waiting for her answer. Hoshi looked at T'Pol and the Vulcan seemed completely calm and composed but there were those little wrinkles in the corners of T'Pol's eyes. Hoshi knew that as a sign of nervousness. All these things, the physical and spiritual bonding, a possible joined future, the finality of all of that… Hoshi had never thought about these things because it was much simpler to live in the present…

"To be honest I've never thought about the time after Enterprise. I guess I can go back to the university and teaching xeno-linguistics again. But I never thought about what would be with us…," Hoshi explained. She was not able to look into her lover's eyes.

"It is simple to wrap oneself into a cocoon and to ignore certain things," T'Pol answered after a moment of silence.

Hoshi nodded, "You're right."

Again Hoshi watched T'Pol. Above all else, it was the spiritual bond that caused her trouble. T'Pol had explained how it worked between Vulcans and that she didn't know if it would work between a Vulcan and a Human. Their own thoughts are the most intimate and private goods an individual possesses and imagining that T'Pol could… be inside her head… But on the other hand… whom if not T'Pol could she entrust with her thoughts?

"If this mental bonding would work between us, would I be able to… to read your thoughts too?"

T'Pol returned Hoshi's look openly and honestly. "I don't know. I don't know in which way I could… read your thoughts or you mine. It could be impossible. Or we could only sense our emotions but nothing more. Or it could be possible that we will… read the thoughts of the other completely without any restriction. There are possibilities to protect thoughts from being read." T'Pol used this word even if it was an incomplete description of a mind meld. "But there is no time to teach you these techniques. And a Vulcan would never invade another person's mind without permission… except when he loses his self control…" T'Pol had explained these facts to Hoshi before but she repeated it to make absolutely clear what could… or what would happen.

Hoshi considered it for a moment. "I think everyone has his minor or major secrets which he'd rather not share with someone else. But if it is necessary then why not do it with the person you trust unconditionally." Hoshi looked directly into T'Pol's eyes.

The Vulcan needed a moment to realize the meaning of Hoshi's words. "I trust you without any restrictions. I would be honoured to share my mind with you."

Hoshi stood up and sat down on the couch next to T'Pol. She took the Vulcan's hands and folded her fingers with T'Pol's and looked into her eyes. "I couldn't bear to lose you."

The Vulcan was hardly able to suppress a feeling of warmth which was rushing through her body. She was relived that Hoshi had said those words. T'Pol now knew for certain she would survive this; that Hoshi was willing to mate with her! T'Pol cast her eyes downwards and pressed Hoshi's hands lightly. "Why did you do this?" she whispered.

Hoshi wrapped her arms around her lover. T'Pol returned the hug, the physical closeness aroused her. It was a result of her increasing Pon Farr. Hoshi's odour, her silken hair floating over T'Pol's neck as the young human snuggled closer to the Vulcan, her hands roaming over T'Pol's back easy to feel through the thin fabric of the vulcan uniform… The Vulcan concentrated and fought against this feeling.

It was not the right place and the right time!

Hoshi felt the fast heartbeat of the other woman. She knew this wasn't normal; the body heat of the Vulcan was still too high. She was frightened in which extent T'Pol suffered from Pon Farr in the last days. A few days ago as they had made love there had been nothing unusual, but now…

They held each other for a while till T'Pol suddenly gasped. She cramped and pressed the air from Hoshi's lungs.

A sharp pain flashed through the human's thorax and unconsciously Hoshi struggled against T'Pol's grip.

Through the waves of pain in her head T'Pol registered something fighting her and she realised she almost choked Hoshi! She forced all her strength into her arms to release the human.

Hoshi gasped for air but she still held T'Pol.

"I'm sorry," the Vulcan whispered ashamed of herself.

Hoshi could feel T'Pol's hammering heartbeat and the short, almost panting gasps for air. "You've got a headache?" Hoshi asked. T'Pol nodded. She had told her about this, too. Hoshi frowned slightly. "Should I call the doctor?"

"No," The Vulcan replied. An emergency call from Hoshi's quarters would automatically be reported to the security station on the bridge, T'Pol knew. Everyone would recognize that she needed medical assistance and they would want to know why. "It is not so much worse like the last one," T'Pol forced herself to say.

It was the truth and T'Pol went through the exercises which would help her to reduce the pain. She allowed Hoshi to hold her and this had a calming effect on her, too. Slowly she relaxed; her pulse and breathing went back almost to normal. T'Pol sank into Hoshi's arms, her chin resting on the Human's shoulder.

T'Pol wondered why this attack had not been as bad as the last one… maybe because she had not been forced to suffer through it alone? Because of Hoshi's nearness? If this was enough to reduce the effects of Pon Farr in such a way then Hoshi was indeed the right choice!

Finally the pain was reduced to a light hammering in the back of T'Pol's head. But it was still there! Normally the pain vanished completely!

T'Pol freed herself from Hoshi's arms and looked at her. "We should talk to Dr. Phlox. It will happen soon."

Hoshi nodded seriously. "OK."

The End

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