DISCLAIMER: Lost Girl and its characters are the property of Prodigy Pictures and Canwest Global. No infringement intended.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Written for the Dog Days of Summer 2011. Thanks for all the hard work ladies and for letting me play again.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
FEEDBACK: To Geekgrrl.lurking[at]gmail.com
A Taste of Things to Come
The mattress dips and you feel her slide into bed behind you, snuggling close and pulling you from your dreams, the familiar warmth reminding you of better days and even better nights. Your on-again, off-again, on-again, who-the-hell-knows-what-again, romance with Bo is confusing to say the least, but something seems to have drawn her to you now.
You crack an eye open and look at the time. A part of you curses yourself for giving her a key to your home and while not exactly thrilled with the timing of the visit, you've never been happier to find her suddenly lounging in your bed. You stretch a little and roll over to look at her, silhouetted against the dim light falling into your bedroom from the street lights outside and you can tell something isn't right.
"Hey." Bo's voice is low and intimate, with a bone weary sadness threaded through the soft tones. It breaks your heart to hear it and clears the lingering cobwebs from your mind as you start to wake up.
"Hey," You shift and sit up a little more to flick on the lamp on the nightstand. You both blink, adjusting to the brightness but at least now you can see her eyes. You can always tell so much from those soulful eyes of hers. You give her a quick once over, checking for injuries. "Are you okay?"
You can't help slipping into your comfort zone of being her doctor, cloaking yourself in the cool logic of science. You rationalize it as your inner doctor needing to know the physical facts before you can move on to the more nebulous feelings swirling within you. Somewhere deep inside you know you're really just running away from dealing with them. Bo smiles that sweet little half smirk of hers and your heart does a little flip-flop. So much for ignoring those pesky feelings.
"What? Can't a girl just break in and crawl into bed with you?" Bo smiles, sadly again, emotions hidden in the shadows as she tries to deflect with her usual smartass humour. Kensi's influence no doubt and yet it is terribly cute, at least when she's looking at you like that when she does it, like she wants to devour you from the inside out. You shake your head and smirk back, reaching out to tuck a stray lock of dark hair behind her ear.
"That's not what I meant," You smile wider as Bo can't seem to help leaning into your touch, her eyes fluttering shut for a moment and you hear her inhale deeply, like she's trying to breathe you in. "Although a phone call might have been nice."
Her eyes blink open at that and you see genuine contrition there. You worry that you've spooked her suddenly and that now she'll bolt from you, running into the arms of some stranger, or almost worse, Dyson.
"I know. I'm sorry, this was a bad idea. I can go if " Bo pulls away and goes to leave the bed.
"Whoa, I didn't say you weren't welcome." You wrap your hand around her arm and she stops mid-movement, turning to look down at you, uncertainty in her eyes. She seems fragile tonight and that alone is sending warning flags up. "Stay, please. I'm glad you're here."
Bo settles again, and you smile, tugging the sheet back over her stomach and running a soothing hand along her arm. Crisis averted, at least for now.
"Well, I just happened to be in the neighbourhood." Bo starts with a teasing grin on her face again. You give her a look and she smiles outright, knowing I'm not buying it and slides further under the covers again, rolling to her side. "Ok, I was out tonight and I don't know, I guess I just really wanted to see you."
You nod, distracted as you look at her closer now and you can tell that she has fed tonight. Disappointment and jealousy burn like a knife twisting in your guts. The scientist in you knows it's just a biological thing for the succubus, like breathing, and yet it still hurts when you see it so blatantly displayed before you. She could come to you instead of taking a stranger, feed from you. Gather you into her arms and
And what exactly?
Make love to you? Is that what this friendship, relationship, whatever this thing you have with Bo is about? Not so much, at least not for Bo anyway, or so it has seemed. Sure you hurt her, betrayed her trust and slowly, with painstaking increments, you are rebuilding an open honest relationship with her again. You can understand her hesitation but that doesn't mean you aren't ready for a loving committed relationship.
Can a succubus even fall in love?
The random thought makes the doctor in you wonder, and the woman in you hope. Is it fair to hold Bo to your human conventions when she isn't even human? Bo can no longer be faithful to you than she can stop breathing. It's what she does, it's who she is. It's the life of a succubus. And you knew that going into this.
Then why does it still hurt so much?
"Bo, I can tell you've fed tonight. So let's cut to the chase, why are you here?" You finally say cautiously, trying not to let the hurt tinge the tone of your words. It seems you can't just let things be, you always need to say something that will chase her away. Maybe it's time for you to make her say what she's feeling instead of trying to guess.
"Don't be like this." Bo says softly, avoiding your question. You feel her fingers ghost across your skin, goosebumps rising in her wake. "I missed you."
You stare at her a moment in disbelief.
"Bo, I told you that I know you've just fed, okay? Somehow I doubt you missed me."
Bo looks at you, a frown forming between her eyes, thinking.
"I did." Bo admits quietly. She shifts closer to you, moving well within your personal space and you drink her in, your mind flashing back to the scent of her smeared across your skin, her body writhing beneath you, pressed tight against you. "I don't think you understand. Just because I've fed doesn't mean I " Her voice trails off and she struggles for the right words. In frustration she moves away again, and you feel the loss keenly. "Maybe this was a mistake..."
"No, wait." You sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose. This wasn't getting either of you anywhere except aggravated. "So you've fed, I get that part. It just doesn't explain why you're here. It doesn't mean I want you to leave, I just want to try to understand what's going on with you."
Bo rolls to her back and stares up at the ceiling, letting out a long slow breath. You look at her a moment longer and then join her, laying by her side and linking your fingers together, your thumb tracing lazy circles along the smooth skin. You lay like this for a time, waiting for the words to come and finally they do.
"You know how you get a craving sometimes, for like pizza or chocolate." Bo's voice is quiet, almost shy.
"Yeah," You smile up at the ceiling as you get an inkling of what she's trying to get at. You turn your head to look at her profile. "Do you get sexual cravings like that too?"
Bo looks back at you and nods, biting her bottom lip.
"And tonight ?"
You blink at her, your mind trying to wrap around the concept.
"They were such an adorable little couple, just visiting from Albuquerque. And she was a tiger in bed " Bo sits up suddenly as if just realizing what she said, clearly worried. You just snort with amusement.
"Let me guess," Your eyebrow raises. "An hour later and you were hungry again."
Bo looks offended for a minute and then smiles, tilting her head to one side, conceding my point.
"Sort of." She looks down at you, her eyes raking across your body, energy crackling between you. You remember that look from that first amazing time you were together, before you fucked it all up, before she couldn't trust you anymore. You've been trying to find it again ever since.
"So what am I, dessert?" You ask very softly, shifting under her gaze, your body reacting to her, wanting her to touch you.
"No! Well, yes and no " Bo slips back down beside you again, lying on her side this time, watching you as she reaches out with one long finger to trace along your lips. "It's like when you have a bad dream and there's nothing that can calm you down, y'know? So you get up out of bed and head to the kitchen and pour yourself an ice cold glass of milk and break out a bag of Oreo cookies. And it makes you feel safe and whole again?"
For a moment you picture Bo, half asleep and standing in your kitchen. Her throat working as she swallows down her drink, standing there in nothing but your old t-shirt and her panties. You shift as your mind comes back to the here and now.
"Comfort food." You say when you can focus again, finally are able to form words. "I'm like comfort food?"
"Well, it's not like you're McDonald's." She says a little defensively. "I was thinking more like Thanksgiving dinner or hot apple pie. You're my cookies and ice cold milk, while I stand in the kitchen in the middle of the night."
You take a moment to digest what she is trying to say in her round about way, her eyes watching you closely the whole time. She sighs and tries again.
"When I go out, I find my prey usually alone in a bar somewhere. Sometimes there could be two, a curious couple. It's almost pathetic at how quickly I can get them to leave with me. A little pulse of energy and they are like putty in my hands." She looks away almost embarrassed. You reach out and cup her cheek turning her back to look at you again, wanting her to continue. "Before long, we're somewhere isolated, the thrill of the hunt beating through my veins along with their excitement and lust, it's almost contagious. And the next thing I know, I'm feeding, drawing the energy from them, feeling it flow through them and into me. At first their energy fills me, moving deep inside." Bo's eyes close at the memory. "It feels so damn good." Bo's eyes open and you see the slight blue glow there and something else, haunted and sad. "And then, it passes over me like a wave, and it's hollow, meaningless. That's what happened tonight. They filled my hunger, but you "
You wait for her to continue, your eyes locked with hers as she inches even closer to you.
"What?" You finally whisper, needing desperately to hear the words. "What about me?"
Bo's eyes flick to your lips and you moisten them, waiting for her answer, waiting for her touch. Finally she looks back into your eyes and you see it, lurking there, deep inside.
"You feed my soul, Lauren. I may feed from them, but in the end, all I want is you." Bo swallows hard and finally speaks from her heart. "I love you."
Your heart is thundering as you pull her into your arms and gently brush against her lips. She rolls you to your back and settles herself between your legs, her weight holding you in place, keeping you exactly where she wants you. Her tongue slides slick across your lower lip, silently asking for entrance. You gladly surrender to her, needing her to take you, to taste you. You feel the energy start to flow between you, moving thick and languid along your veins, pulsing in time with her heart. You break apart and pant against her soft skin.
"I love you, too." You whisper as your eyes flicker open and then you see the blue energy glowing bright in her eyes as it turns almost white in its intensity, your words hitting her. Her head dips again and you each get lost in the other.
And you know this is just a taste of things to come.
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