DISCLAIMER: Some other lucky beggar owns the characters. Sorry for treading on any toes.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Here's my humorous attempt at Cybersex, for the real thing you need to read my answer to the farewell/voyeurism challenge.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
SPOILERS: um... maybe for S5.

Never Too Old For Technology
By Debbie

Date: October 23rd 2004 1.00pm GMT

Sender: G.Grissom@lvpd.org

Subject: Away Days


Two members of our department have been invited to spend 2 weeks with our colleagues in the London Metropolitan Police Department. The sheriff insists that you join me on this excursion.

Now, before you say no, think about this. We could get a whole lot of new skills and you can spend some time with me. What more could you want?

Please Catherine, I know it will be hard to get care for Lindsey but it really is something we can't forgo. Please.


Date: October 24th 2004 1.00pm GMT

Sender: C.Willow@lvpd.org

Subject: Re: Away Days


You know me too well. I was going to say no, but I hate to see a grown man beg. So, I'm going to say yes.

You know Nancy's been ill, well she's too ill to have Linds for two weeks, but, and don't laugh, Linds has been dying to spend some time with Sara, so I've twisted her arm, and would you believe, she's said yes.

Sara Sidle is going to baby-sit Lindsey Willows for two weeks.


Date: November 3rd 2004 3.00am GMT

Sender: S.Sidle@scandor.com

Subject: Hello Mommy

Hey Mommy :)

Sara says I can use her email to say hello to you.

Sara's cool. She's been watching Jimmy Neutron and Dexter's Lab with me all today. And we're going bowling tomorrow. Aunt Nancy says that Carl's been invited too.

Sara really is great, Mommy.

Thanks for asking her to look after me so that Aunt Nancy can keep having a break. She's helping me now, then says I have to go to bed. Ughh, Mommy, it's only 8, please tell her I can watch the Simpsons tomorrow night, please?

Sara says hello to you both and says if you are on a computer at 7 we can IM on her account too.

Hope you arrived safely, and that Uncle Gil is looking after you. Tell him to take you to see the Queen.

Miss you loads Mommy, talk soon.

Lindsey. xxxxxxxxxxx

PS: Hello Catherine. Just so you know, we didn't watch TV all day, we did some homework too, and some housework, it's better that we are living at your house, I think. Hey? Can she watch The Simpsons? Can you get to IM Catherine 7.00am our time, I'll have Lindsey there to chat with you before she goes to school. Let me know. Sara :)

November 3rd 2004 8.00am GMT

Sender: C.Willows@yahoo.com

Subject: Hello Back

Hey Lindsey :)

How's my little girl? I hope you are being a good girl for Sara, and for Aunt Nancy when you go there. Is everyone ok?

We arrived safely and I am staying in a large hotel. It's very nice.

Uncle Gil and me are working with 3 other people in a large police department on the outskirts of London. They have promised to take us to see the Queen and her palace, and on a boat ride on the River Thames. I will take you lots of pictures, I promise.

Tell Sara, The Simpsons is ok, if that is all right with her, and tell her to write to me, I want all the gossip.

Miss you Baby…

Mommy. xxxxxx

PS: Sara, I can be on IM at 7.00am tomorrow. Hope everything is going ok? Catherine :)

Date: November 4th 2004: 11pm GMT

Sender: C.Willows@yahoo.com

Subject: Thanks

Hey Sara

Thanks for arranging the IM, it was wonderful to hear from my baby. I miss her lots. She seems to be having a good time with you. I can never thank you enough for doing this for me, you know. I guess we've never really been friends, yet you still jumped in to help out with this. Means a lot. To Nancy and me. Since her illness, she's been struggling to have two kids to look after, and there's no way she would have managed Linds and Carl for two whole weeks, so thanks again.

Linds says you took Carl off Nancy's hands for a few hours too. That's amazing, thank you :)

Maybe, when I get home, we can do something, all of us together, so that I can thank you in person?

How's work? Tell the guys I miss them. Not sure about Gil, you know him, he's in deep learning all new tricks. You wouldn't believe how differently these guys work to us. I tell you something, Sara, it's fascinating, but nowhere near as good as working things through with you. Can you remember our cases together, I can, b/c I always learn something new. Oh jeez, listen at me Sidle, anybody would think I was missing you.

Don't tell anyone, but I guess I kind of miss your sarcastic tongue.

Later… Catherine.

Date: November 5th 2004 11.30pm GMT

Sender: S.Sidle@scandor.com

Subject: No thanks necessary

Hey Catherine

What do you know? Catherine Willows misses Sara Sidle :)

Well don't tell anyone else but I kind of miss you too. Things just aren't the same around here without your glares and snide comments, and if I hear Warrick say, "I wish Cath was here" one more time I swear you and Gris will be summonsed home to solve a murder enquiry. Jeez Catherine, how many more weeks are you away?

BTW: I'm only kidding. We do all miss you but things are going pretty smoothly. I think we're all quite pleased to have been trusted with Graveyard while you two go off and play. And Brass is more than happy to play nursemaid to us all, I never realized before what a nice man he really is. You know me and him have had our differences, well he's been great, even took Linds and me for ice cream yesterday before we dropped Linds at Nancy's. I think I can see how he's one of your closest friends.

BTW2: There really is no need to thank me. I'm having a wonderful time looking after Lindsey, *and* Carl. It's good that I can finally do something that you are grateful for. I never forgave myself over Eddie's case, you know. So, just helping out here, and helping Nance too, is good. You deserve a break, and so does she. Hey! Without you two, I wouldn't have learned as much as I have since coming to Vegas.

I think I can see how much I miss being one of your friends, do you think we could start afresh when you get home, and yes, going out, all of us together, sounds great, sounds a good start.

Miss you… Sara.

Date: November 7th 2004 7.00am

Sender: C.Willows@yahoo.com

Subject: Hello Sara

Hey Sara :)

*vbg* I'm getting the lingo off pat now too, you see. There's hope for us oldies with all this new technology, huh?

And what, Sara Sidle misses me too, what do you know?

Sounds good, my friend, socializing when I get back. Lindsey would love that and I think I would too :) She's really enjoying being with you, you know. I can't get her to stop singing your praises on IM. Talking of which...

Don't suppose you can come on IM around 11pm your time? It is your day off, isn't it? Please.

Anyway, gotta rush. I'll write again later, but for now I have to rush out the hotel door, the London team is taking us on a visit to a police department in Heathrow Airport, should be fascinating, not!

Hope to see you later, miss you... Catherine. xxx

Date: November 7th 2004 4pm GMT

Sender: S.Sidle@scandor.com

Subject: :)

Hey Catherine :)

I'll be there, I could do with a little adult conversation :)

Guess that's why I'm missing you, huh?

Love Sara. xxx

Date: November 8th 2004 12.00pm GMT

Sender: C.Willows@yahoo.com

Subject: Change of plans

Hey Sara

How are things at your end? Enjoyed our chat early this morning (huh, nighttime <g>), hope you managed to get some sleep afterwards. I've been busy today and it's still only noon. Guess you're still fast asleep, hope the dreams are good. Think of me occasionally, maybe?

Just needed to let you know, I can't get onto IM at your 7am after all, Claire is taking me on the Thames and then onto dinner at a quiet country hotel.

Tell Linds I love her and I'll be there tomorrow, same time, same place. Is that ok?

Love Catherine xxx

Date: November 8th 2004 3.00pm GMT

Sender: S.Sidle@scandor.com

Subject: What the F…?

Who the hell is Claire? You never go out to dinner with me.


PS: I'll tell Linds.

Date: November 8th 2004 11.00pm

Sender: C.Willows@yahoo.com

Subject: What?

*You* never asked me.


Date: November 8th 2004 11.30pm

Sender: C.Willows@yahoo.com

Subject: Can you?

Hey Sara :)

Sorry about that earlier post, didn't mean to snap. Is that jealousy I see rearing its ugly head? LOLOL

I miss you Sara. What else can I say? She's a friend over here, took my mind off a few things.

Love Catherine. xxx

Ps: Are you coming on IM at 11pm again? I can get up early to have a chat. I'll check in at my 7am to see if you are there.

Date: November 9th 2004 7.00am GMT

Lindsmom: Hey Babe, you there?

Pussylova: Hey :)

Pussylova: Catherine?

Lindsmom: Yep, it's me

Pussylova: What's with Babe?

Lindsmom: Um, I don't really know, it just seemed to slip out. Do you mind?

Pussylova: Nope, just takes a little getting used to after being called Sidle for so long.

Lindsmom: You! I kinda miss you.

Pussylova: :) So, how did the dinner with Claire go?

Lindsmom: It was nice. She's great. We talked and talked and talked. You know me?

Pussylova: What do you mean nice? You've only known her a week. She might be leading you on

Pussylova: You're coming home in a few days. I don't trust her motives. She's using you.

Lindsmom: LOLOL Sara hon, it was a trip on the Thames and dinner.

Lindsmom: Not a date. Anyway, why does this bother you so much?

Lindsmom: Are you jealous?

Pussylova: Me? Jealous? No!!

Pussylova: I'm just looking out for you.

Pussylova: But... ummm... I am asking <shrug>

Lindsmom: Asking what?

Pussylova: Will you... um... when you come home... can I take you out for breakfast?

Lindsmom: Breakfast? You cheapskate <g>... you, my dear, can take me out for dinner and a dance :)

Pussylova: Can I? When?

Lindsmom: Yes. How about Lucianetta's? Surprise me...

Pussylova: Ok.

Lindsmom: Hon, I've got to go. Duty calls. Gil's going to a Spider museum and I've got to learn about this new computer program they're giving us.

Lindsmom: And you need your beauty sleep :)

Pussylova: I know that, thank you ;-) Ok Cat, you take care.

Pussylova: Huh tomorrow, same time, same place?

Lindsmom: Cat?

Pussylova: If you can call me Babe, I can call you Cat :-P

Lindsmom: Hmmm... I guess :) And yes, tomorrow.

Lindsmom: Love ya xxx

Pussylova: And you. xxx

Date: November 9th 2004 11.30pm

Sender: C.Willows@yahoo.com

Subject: Looking forward

Hey Babe :)

I've missed you more than ever today. I really don't know what's come over me, I don't even like you <g>

Actually, I wanted to tell you something, this trip has made me realize just how much I depend on the little things... like Lindsey, yes. But also like your smile, like your nods when I do something right, like your scowls when I do something wrong LOL. I guess what I'm trying to say Sara, is that I like working with you more than I think either of us know. I like being with you. I like you.

And before I say something I'll want to forget, I'll just say, even if Claire wasn't a happily married mum of 3 children there would be nothing on this earth she could do to stop me coming home to go on that date with you :)

See you later... Catherine. xox

Date: November 10th 2004 3.00am GMT

Sender: S.Sidle@scandor.com

Subject: Oh!

Dearest Catherine :)

I've just read your email from earlier and something tells me you're a little homesick. Lindsey said you were a little upset with her earlier too. What other reason would you have to say such nice things about me, huh? Don't worry, hon, I won't hold it against you, I promise. When you get home we can get back to being friendly enemies, no worries.

But hey, if you did mean everything you said, and if you'll forget I've said this too, I'll respond in kind :)

Catherine Willows, you are one of the most beautiful women I've ever met, and have a heart of gold to match. You have a wonderful daughter who's come to mean as much to me as my own daughter would if I had one. You have a beautiful family who loves you, and you have friends here at CSI who miss you dreadfully. But none of them miss you as much as I do, so there.

And before I say anything even more sappy, I'll just say, even if Claire wasn't a happily married mum of 3 children there would be nothing on this earth she could do to stop me coming over there to go on a date with you... so don't even think about not coming home :)

See you very soon... Sara. xoxooxox LOLOL

Date: November 10th 2004 7.00am GMT

Lindsmom: Babe?

Catlova: Yes, I'm here. Just been chatting with Linds. She's a little excited that you'll soon be home.

Lindsmom: Is she still awake?

Catlova: Nope. Went back to bed half an hour ago. How are you? How's Claire? <g>

Lindsmom: Claire's fine. She's taking me to meet her family tomorrow. 3 children and still manages to work all the hours of a day.

Lindsmom: Seems they have better childcare arrangements over here. Is Linds ok?

Catlova: Yeah Catherine. She misses you, but we've been good. Honestly.

Lindsmom: Oh I know that hon. She's never stopped talking about you. I hope you'll keep seeing her when I get back?

Catlova: Cat, I hope to spend a lot more time with both of you :)

Catlova: Didn't you read my email earlier?

Lindsmom: Well yes, but I thought you might only be joking <shrug>

Catlova: Were you?

Lindsmom: Was I what?

Catlova: Joking? When you said you liked me. When you said you wanted to go on a date with me.

Lindsmom: Of course not!

Catlova: Well neither was I. Cat, I think I'm in love with you.

Lindsmom: Oh, that's good. Maybe I'm a little in love with you too, maybe we'll soon see.

Lindsmom: Jeez Sara, I so want to be there with you. This would be the time when... we, ummm… you know…

Catlova: When what, Cath?

Lindsmom: Um, nothing. You'll have to wait and see :)

Catlova: Hey Cat, have you ever heard of cybersex?

Lindsmom: LOLOL Yeah, I'm not that old, you know.

Catlova: I never said you were, just wanted to know before I said this.

Catlova: I'm just resting my hand on the side of your gorgeous face, dragging my finger slowly, feather-light across your bottom lip. I lean in and oh so gently nip on that sensitive spot. Hearing you gasp slightly, I carefully draw my tongue from left to right. Do you like it that way my love?

Lindsmom: Um, Sara?

Catlova: Now, I'm pressing harder with my lips on the path I've just traced. I can feel your body rubbing up against mine... so warm, so soft, so hot. Jeez, I want you Cat. Feel my tongue begging entry. I hear you groan, and push inwards without thought. I'm drinking you in babe, feel me there, feel me...

Lindsmom: Sara stop. You're making me crazy. I love you, I love this, but...

Lindsmom: ... I want our first kiss to be real, not some pretend cyberkiss that is lost in the ether.

Lindsmom: Not that I didn't more than enjoy your words and the thought of what your gorgeous body can do to me.

Catlova: Um, sorry Catherine, I'm just a little needy here, you know.

Lindsmom: You're needy? Goddamnit, I'm f**king wet here, and some of us have to go to work. At least you can go to bed and dream.

Catlova: LOLOL Point taken. I'll be waiting Cath. Just you wait, it'll all be real in a few days. I promise you that.

Lindsmom: Don't worry, I'll hold you to that promise and believe me babe, I know how to kiss *my* woman, so you'd better be ready too ;-)

Lindsmom: Now c'mere and accept this xoxooxoxoxooxx

Catlova: Hmmm very nice. Think I can go to sleep now.

Catlova: xoxooxoxoxxxxoox Off you go to work.

Lindsmom: :-P Love you. Tomorrow?

Catlova: Me too and yes. Now go. See you very soon.

Lindsmom: You'd better. Bye.

Catlova: Bye.

Date: November 12th 2004 7.00am GMT

Sender: S.Sidle@scandor.com

Subject: Reservation


Can I book a double room for one night, November 14th 2004, in the name of Sidle?

We will arrive sometime in the afternoon, depending on an incoming flight from the UK, and would like our room to be available at that time. We will be dining at the near-by Lucianetta's, and will therefore only need room and breakfast. If at all possible can I reserve room service at this time?

Confirmation of reservation and cost can be forwarded to this email address. If you require a deposit please let me know forthwith.

Thanking you in advance.

Sara Sidle.

Date: November 12th 2004 7.00am GMT

Sender: S.Sidle@scandor.com

Subject: Reservation


Can I reserve a table for two on the evening of November 14th 2004?

If at all possible, can we have a non-smoking table with views of the dance-floor, and can you pre-order delivery of 12 burgundy-red "Soulmate" roses, to arrive at 10pm.

Confirmation of reservation and cost can be forwarded to this email address. If you require a deposit please let me know forthwith.

Thanking you in advance.

Sara Sidle.

Date: November 14th 2004 7.00am GMT

Sender: S.Sidle@scandor.com

Subject: I love you.

My darling Cat

If everything has gone well tonight, by the time you read this, you will know exactly how I feel. But I wanted to have this waiting for you when you return to work.

I love you and want to spend a long time with you, maybe even forever. What do you say?


The End

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