DISCLAIMER: Not mine, but they should be. Song lyrics belong to Hinder.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.

Tempus Edax Rerums
By Anne


{Emma...} The telepathic whisper invaded her mind gently, lulling the redhead out of her sleep and she sat up slowly, swiping at her eyes and blinking accordingly, her vision adjusting to the darkness of the room.

Honey why are you calling me so late
It's kinda hard to talk right now

{Em... I need you...} There it was again. A gentle whisper, light as the wind and nowhere near as invasive as it should have been. The sadness lacing the call, the undercurrent of melancholy called to her and Emma found herself slipping on a shirt and shuffling herself out of bed.

Honey why are you crying is everything okay
I gotta whisper cause I can't be too loud

Emma opened the bedroom door as quietly as possible, glancing over her shoulder and making out Shalimar's sleeping form in the darkness before she tiptoed out the door, shutting it behind her with a soft snick. She crept down the hallway softly, guilt building up in her stomach and settling in the pit. She knew that she should turn around and go right back to bed. Go back to Shalimar and curl up in her arms, safe and warm, surrounded by lovingly comfort that only the blonde knew how to give her.

Well, my girls in the next room

But she didn't.

Emma ran her fingers through her hair, sighing softly and silently berating herself. She felt guilty enough, but knowing that no one had actually forced her out of bed made it worse. She wanted to see Brennan...

Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on

She missed him, even though she would never admit that aloud to anyone. When they broke up, she was upset but not devastated, yet she couldn't quite let him go. Brennan understood her like no other, they were best friends and logically, Emma knew that in the long run, they were better off as just friends. But sometimes she wondered about the future, what it could have held had they stayed together. She felt instantly guilty the second her thoughts strayed down that road. Shalimar loved her, their relationship was far from perfect and it certainly wasn't rainbows and gumdrops but it was love. Shalimar made her feel complete, something she had never felt with anyone else, including Brennan. But Brennan was and always would be her best friend, thus he would always hold a special place in her heart, which was why she couldn't resist each time he called her.

It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel

"Emma." Even the quietness of his whisper couldn't cover his happiness at seeing her. "You came."

She curled her lips into a self-deprecating smile, stepping into his embrace and leaning her head on his chest. "Don't I always?"

His arms automatically tightened around her waist, his face nuzzling into her neck, breathing her in. The soft scent of jasmine in her hair filled his senses and he pressed his lips to the silky strands. "I miss you..." He whispered.

Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

Emma's fingers curled up into his shirt, bunching the material between her fingertips as she held onto him for balance, feeling like her world was shifting and her knees were going to buckle. Those words still sent a flutter in her tummy, a lightheadedness filling her head and her knees were going weak.

It made her feel horrible at the same time. The guilt was growing like a fire in her stomach, his words becoming the oxygen feeding the flames and she gently extracted herself from his embrace. She wanted Shalimar but she didn't want to leave Brennan. She was making herself sick.

"I was dreaming about you." Brennan pulled back as well, so he could look at her, his dark brown eyes searching hers for something. "I just needed to see you, Em. I know this has to stop though." He paused, reaching up and trailing the back of his hand along her cheek.

It's funny that you're calling me tonight
And yes I've dreamt of you too

Emma arched an eyebrow, wondering if they were still that finely tuned to one another. Her dreams lately were filled with Brennan, with the prospect of their never had future and it was severely messing her up inside. Her feelings were for Shalimar, she knew it but her connection to Brennan couldn't be severed so easily, despite the fact that they were both in different relationships. It only added to her guilt that she was happy in hers and Brennan didn't seem the same way.

And does he know you're talking to me
Will it start a fight

Brennan was happy with Jesse most of the time. But Emma knew that Jesse wasn't so happy with her relationship with Brennan. She couldn't appease Jesse, she knew that. They lived together, they saw each other every day and Emma cared too much for Brennan to just cut him out of her life so coldly. She knew that this had to stop though and it was the reason she came. It wasn't for Jesse's sake; even when Emma knew her ties to Brennan caused their relationship friction, Jesse would just have to learn.

It was laying in Shalimar's arms earlier that night, her lips pressed against Emma's temple as her fingers strayed and played through Emma's red locks. It was the feeling of safety, of warmth and love, the feeling of knowing that Emma never wanted to be anywhere else than in the feral's arms, for the rest of her days.

No I don't think she has a clue

Shalimar didn't have a clue about what was going on. Not that there was really anything going on, but Emma knew that her girlfriend would be hurt if she knew that Emma slipped out of bed at night to visit with her ex-boyfriend. The idea that she may be hurting Shalimar jars Emma into the present, once again reminding her why she's there.

Emma smiled at Brennan, a soft curl of her lips before reaching out to cup his cheek. Her fingertips traced his lips softly, the lightest of touches conveying words she couldn't push past her own lips and she smiled. Brennan was an angel, her guardian angel, considering the amount of times he had saved her life, most literally and metaphorically. But she was in love with Shalimar. She knew it, she had always known it and using Brennan as a distraction had been wrong, trying to use him as a shield from her own feelings wasn't fair to anyone involved. It took the pisonic a while but she finally realized that Brennan was her best friend, Shalimar was her other half.

It was something that she couldn't give words too, something she couldn't define but she could feel it. Emma could feel in right down to her bones, in every single nerve ending, in every atom and molecule of her skin. She didn't need her powers to know that Shalimar was the one. The one for her, the one that her heart belonged to without question. She could feel it in every kiss that the blonde bestowed upon her skin, could sense it in every fleeting touch between them, could read it in all the words that passed between them and the silences that eased over them screamed it to her. Emma knew that Shalimar was it, the one. The one that Emma was head over heels in love with.

Emma knew she was gone, already too far in with Shalimar to get out and the possibility that it may not work out was there hanging in the front of her mind. She knew that if it didn't work out, if sometime down the road Shalimar and her fell to pieces; Emma knew that she would fall to pieces without hope of recovery, but she no longer felt the need to deny herself happiness, even if it was only for a short while. Fear could no longer be the gate between her happiness with the blonde and herself. She had to let go of Brennan, completely.

"Bren..." Emma trailed off, her fingertips still tracing his features gently.

"I know." He answered, giving her a sad smile. "I do know." He sighed softly, relinquishing any and all holds that he had on Emma. "I've seen you with her... I'm happy for you, I really am."

Emma nodded, her hands falling back at her sides, not knowing quite how to respond to that.

Brennan reached up, rubbing a hand over his face and blinking rapidly, the pale moonlight reflecting the wetness in his eyes. "I guess I just wanted to make sure... You know, that there was no hope for us," He laughed softly, almost bitterly but not quite as cold. "But I knew the second I saw you stare into her eyes."

Emma almost apologized but the words died on her tongue, refusing to push their way past her mouth. She knew the words would be empty and hollow and personally, she wasn't sorry that she was in love with Shalimar. She was sorry that she was hurting her best friend though. "Bren..."

The tall elemental shook his head, ruffling his already bedridden hair and Emma hid a smile at the charming, boyish look Brennan gave off. He shifted slightly, bending to brush his lips over her forehead. "No need, Em." He responded to her silent thoughts, rejection and hurt covering his features for the briefest moment in time. "I'll see you tomorrow. Sweet dreams, Em."

And with the saddest look Emma had ever seen on someone, she watched him walk away from her, barely managing to keep herself upright from the onslaught of emotions that were coming from his retreating form.

Closing her eyes against the tears threatening to burn their way out of her eyes, Emma pressed her fingers to her temples and slowly made her way back to the bedroom. Her eyes zeroed in on Shalimar's sleeping form and her smile was instantaneous. She brushed back a lock of hair that had fallen over the blonde's face and pressed a gentle kiss to tanned skin before curling up against her lover. The fact that Shalimar automatically snuggled in closer to her, tugging her into an embrace and nuzzling into her neck, while still in a slumber did nothing to ease the ache in Emma's chest.

Sometimes when you break a heart, you break the person holding that heart and nothing will ever fix it. Emma had just learned that lesson the hard way and she knew that things would never be the same again.

The End

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