DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. I just take Otalia out from time to time to placate my impatience.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I am completely addicted to this pairing. There are a couple of these I am not fond of, but hey, I only had 2-3 minutes on 'em. I mostly don't like the one that is obviously Frank, but...I have to live by the challenge rules.
CHALLENGE: 1. Pick a character, pairing, or fandom you like. 2. Turn your music player on and turn it on random/shuffle. 3. Write a drabblet/ficlet related to each song that plays. You only have the time frame of the song to finish the drabble; you start when the song starts, and stop when it's over. No lingering afterward! 4. Do ten of these, then post them.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Ten Songs About Otalia
By DJ Shiva
1. Ani Difranco - Come Away From It
It was an addiction. The longing. Olivia was trapped between wanting to spill her guts every time Natalia turned those questioning eyes to her, and wanting to draw it out as long as possible to ride the lightning surge of electricity that trailed down her spine every time she walked into a room that still held the sweet lingering scent of her.
Sure, Olivia liked a drink every now and again. The buzz that filled her head and softened so many memories better left at some random bar. But this, this was something entirely different. Being drunk was one thing...giddy and a little loose-lipped and hot. But this was so heady and enthralling that she had no defense, and there was no help. No 12 step treatment programs. Nothing but a choice to be made.
Stay on the ride and let it fill her senses with the danger and excitement of attraction unspoken? Or speak it out loud. Speak into being the possibility that there was something even more addictive than the wanting. That wanting was dangerous enough, but what came after could be...everything.
2. Ani Difranco - Out of Habit
Her feet hurt. Another long shift at Company, with the added bonus boredom of listening to Frank ramble incessantly about everything and nothing for a half an hour that could have been better spent in the back room with a cheeseburger.
She should care. She really should feel that pull of attraction, but...she didn't. She WANTED to be that girl from Chicago, charmed by the nice boy. She wanted to be that girl again.
She SHOULD want all of that. But she didn't. She wasn't that girl.
And as she sat in a back booth, rubbing her work-worn feet, she realized she never really had been.
3. Imogen Heap - Headlock
She knew they were looking at her without even turning her head. The whispers, the shifting turning of heads as she spied them out of the corner of her eye. She knew what they thought of her. The bitch. The one who always had a sharp word and wasn't afraid to take anyone down to get what she wanted. Too much money and too much arrogance and never enough time to give to a damn one of them.
And they had been right once.
Something fundamental had shifted. Sometimes she slipped back into those patterns of haughty self-centered power trips, and then a little voice in her head checked her. She tried not to think about whose voice it was.
She wanted something good for someone else. She wanted her to be happy. She needed her to be happy.
For once in her life, Olivia would give up everything for someone else's happiness.
And she was afraid that was exactly what she would have to do.
She turned her head to face them, her lip curled in a condescending sneer as she picked up her bag and strutted out of the restaurant, holding onto the last bit of herself that couldn't be broken by what she had to do.
4. Voices on the Verge - Heaven Release Us
She looked down on them from her perch, a stunning landscape of humanity spread before her, but focusing on these two women standing across from each other. She honed in on their thoughts to find an all-too-familiar strain running through them. Why did they always use her as an excuse to not follow what they knew they needed for happiness? Oh let's face it, your biographers kinda blew it, didn't they? Infusing all of your children with fears and false imagery in the name of telling your story. Instead of the beauty you created, they got a big damn rulebook. For all the good that did, she thought with a huff.
And here these two beautiful souls stood, trapped in a battle of wills, wanting the other one to break and speak first. One scared of what the other would think; one scared for her very soul.
She shook her head in frustration, and with the motion, the clouds of her hair released a spring torrent of rain upon them both.
She watched as the taller woman grabbed her friend, dragging her into a doorway to protect her from the sudden downpour. Their eyes locked, and something sprang between them. The souls she had breathed into her children coalescing in an instant.
Her giggles sounded as thunderclaps as Olivia and Natalia closed the space between them for the last time, lips meeting, hands tangling in rain-drenched hair.
The Goddess sighed. Her job was done.
5. Missy Higgins - The Special Two
Natalia never drank. And she certainly never drank whiskey. She slammed the empty glass down on the bar and motioned to the bartender for another. Why did she let Olivia push her toward Frank...toward a safety that was never there.
She had simply thought him boring. Boring and safe. Instead he was a bastard. A vengeful bastard that never let her forget Olivia's faults. As if he knew that he would never be the one Natalia really wanted.
He had never even told her he loved her. And here she sat with this damned ugly ring on her finger.
Natalia tossed back her head and let the burn of the whiskey wipe her thoughts away. Five years and so many bottles later, and she still couldn't erase the memory of those eyes.
6. Nirvana - Territorial Pissings
That fucking bitch. Who the fuck does she think she is, traipsing up into the station and telling me how to do my job? The law is the law and Phillip posted bail. What the fuck makes her think that I should do her bidding, rich bitch.
I can't believe Natalia cares so much for her. She would be better off if she kicked Olivia's ass out of that house and never laid eyes on her again.
I could give her so much more. I know eventually she will love me. Olivia can never give her what I can give her.
7. Laura Veirs - Galaxies
There were whole worlds in Olivia's eyes. Sometimes she thought she would get lost in them if she looked too long.
Sometimes she wanted to look too long. Sometimes she wanted to be lost.
She watched the pupils dilate, the grey-blue going black; felt herself falling, pulled down with a weight she couldn't understand and didn't want to.
There were whole worlds in Olivia's eyes.
8. Portishead - Humming
She should have been doing the laundry. She had only a few hours before Natalia came home. But instead she was in bed, head thrown back, hand between her legs, thinking of nothing but that dark hair trailing down her skin and her body on fire.
A woman can only take so much waiting. Can only take so much wanting before she breaks.
9. The Blow - Pardon Me
I thought I saw your heart in your eyes. You didn't flinch when I mentioned "us". You just held my gaze with all the confidence of a woman who knows what is in front of her.
What have I been thinking about? I think you know, don't you? Why won't you give me something to hold on to?
10. Portishead - Over
She is eyeing me from across the bar. I don't know her. Dark-haired and slender, she bears only a passing resemblance to you, but my blood is charged with the knowledge that she looks at me with desire in her eyes. I don't want her. She doesn't know me, doesn't know what I have done or who I have been, and she would probably hate me if she did.
You don't hate me for any of it. I am not sure why. You even tell me you love me.
Would you love me if you knew what I dream when the lights go out?
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