DISCLAIMER: Not mine, never will be. All belongs to various mega rich international corporations, I'm just borrowing for my own nefarious purposes.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.

The Plot
By Wonko

"Okay, so that's decided then. We'll kill him tonight."

"No, wait. Are you sure about this? I mean, what if we get caught?"

"Then we get put in a cell together for a few years and have hot monkey sex every night."

"Oh...let's get caught!"

"We can have hot monkey sex on the outside too."

"Okay then. So we won't get caught?"

"Sara, we're CSIs. I've been doing this job for fifteen years, I know how to kill someone without leaving evidence."

"Yeah. Besides, who would suspect us?"

"No-one. I'm his best friend and you've been pulling off that 'I've got a crush on you' thing very well."

"Eugh. I hate having to pretend I like him."

"I know, babe, but it's for us."

"Hey, I know. I love you Cat, you know I'd do anything for you."

"I love you too, sweetie. And when I'm head of the unit I promise you'll get that promotion."

"I can't believe he recommended Nick."

"I know. Hey, you want to do him too?"

"Nah. Nicky's harmless."

"Okay, but you know I'm happy to do it."

"Thank-you Bonnie."

"That makes you Clyde."

"I'm down with that. I like being the butch one."

"Oh, I know."

"Catherine, I thought we were going to off Grissom."

"After hot monkey sex."

"Hmm. Is this a nipple I see before me?"

Thirty-eight minutes later

"Don't you think getting promoted is a pretty poor excuse for killing your boss?"

"Maybe, but there's also the fact that he's annoying as hell, more interested in his bugs than in his colleagues, and he has that weird beard thing going on."

"Okay, I guess that all makes sense. How long have you been planning this again?"

"Oh, about ten years."

"So you've got this thing down."


"Okay then. Shit, here he comes."

"Hey, Gil?"


Squelching sound.

"Uuuuugh..... Et tu, Sarughhh..."

"The End."

"What did you say Sara?"

"Just finishing the story."

The End

Return to C.S.I. Fiction

Return to Main Page