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ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
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SPOILERS: Season 2 and 3
Myka stopped when she saw Helena standing by the window. She blinked as if the scene was not real. Helena had been back for three weeks now and this was the first time that the two had been alone together. It had confused Myka in the beginning how Helena's behavior had been almost cold towards her. Very professional and courteous of course, but the easy banter and the smiles, even the flirtatious teasing were a thing of the past. It actually appeared as if Helena made a conscious effort never to be alone with Myka.
And Myka had tried. She had tried hard, but Helena was so smooth, easing in and out of a room like a ghost, as if ensuring that she was never alone with Myka. Myka had spent many nights wondering about it. In the beginning she had been hurt, especially when she saw Helena interact with Claudia, and even Pete. Helena seemed to prefer Claudia of all of them now. It had hurt, and the pain had turned into resentment and even anger before Myka realized what she was doing.
Then one night she had caught Helena looking at her with such longing in her eyes. Myka still trembled remembering the look on Helena's face, and the intensity in her dark eyes. Myka had started to move closer to her when Helena flinched, as if shaking herself out of a trance; Helena had smiled at Pete and Claudia and quickly mumbled her goodnight. Her dark hair fanned behind her as she all but ran from the room. Myka wanted to run after her, but Claudia grabbed her arm and pulled her down on the sofa, chattering away about classes for spring semester. Myka sighed and turned her full attention to Claudia.
Not long after that, Helena had started to work on her old, unfinished inventions. The Regents had requested that she update the Time Machine. They wanted to know if the machine was salvageable and if so, if it could be enhanced. Helena had eagerly accepted the assignment. Everyone knew that it was a way of keeping her busy and in the warehouse under Artie's supervision. It would be a while before Helena would be cleared for fieldwork.
Myka had learned a new side to Helena in the days and weeks that followed. Helena had embraced the research and experiment assignment wholeheartedly, once again finding herself back in familiar territory. The HG Wells section had expanded with her bringing in all sorts of equipment and parts. She seemed to spend almost all her time there, when not with Artie or Claudia.
On several occasions Leena had delivered dinner to Helena, right there in the warehouse. Helena had apologized for the inconvenience and thanked her, only to leave the food sitting there until inedible, so entranced in her work. Worried about Helena, Leena spent more time with her, making her stop and eat, completely ignoring the change in Helena's aura and the look of annoyance Helena sported on her face.
Helena soon figured out that Leena truly enjoyed spending time with her. Leena was far more intelligent than Helena had initially assumed her to be, and she found herself actually enjoying spending time with the mysterious woman. It surprised Helena in the beginning when Leena asked specific questions about her work, following Helena's explanations and even now and then offered suggestions of her own. Slowly, slowly Helena started to open up to her and actually began to look forward to the dinner breaks.
A small cot had been brought into the HG Wells section as Helena's hours dragged on into the darkness of night. She seemed quite happy sleeping on the narrow collapsible bed. Myka had walked in on her once when returning late from a mission. She had stopped and just gazed at Helena. The normally so powerful and charismatic woman looked surprisingly innocent, and almost serene in sleep. Her chest rose and fell as her breathing slowed with sleep. One hand rested on her stomach and the other curled around her head on the pillow underneath her. Helena's dark hair was braided which Myka found odd, but then she realized that it was probably what a Victorian woman would do before going to bed. She smiled and sighed. As much as she wanted to speak to Helena, she did not have the heart to wake her.
Pete and Myka had been sent out on three artifact retrievals in a row, leaving both of them in need of some time to relax. Myka was bone tired when they returned and had slept for ten hours straight. The house was quiet when she woke up. She had taken a shower and dressed in her most comfortable lounge pants and a tank top. An old flannel shirt completed her outfit. She pulled the shirt closer. It was so soft; the type of softness a shirt only gets from having been through dozens of washes. Myka knew it was her comfort outfit, but she did not really care if anyone would tease her about it. She closed the door to her room behind her and walked towards the stairs on silent sock-clad feet.
Myka had helped herself to a cup of coffee in the kitchen and looking for a more comfortable spot to enjoy her morning she strolled into the library. That was when she realized that she was not alone in the house. Helena was there.
At first Myka felt anger rise inside of her, but then calmed down and frowned. Why was Helena there and not at the warehouse? She took a step into the room.
"Good morning Myka."
Helena turned and faced her. Myka had expected a smile, and was disappointed when Helena just looked seriously at her.
"Is something wrong?"
Helena shrugged. She stuck her hands in her pockets and looked down. "I am leaving."
"What?" Myka walked closer but stopped when she noticed Helena's shoulders tense up. She looked around and spotting a small table she put her coffee down before slowly moving closer.
"You know as well as I, that I do not fit in here." This time there was a smile, but it did not reach Helena's eyes. "The Regents are moving my things to another secluded location where I can continue my work."
"No, no, no," Myka shook her head and gestured wildly. "Why are you doing this?" she exclaimed.
"It's for the best Myka."
"For whom? You? Me? The Warehouse?"
"My presence here only brings you sadness and I frankly do not wish to cause you any more harm."
"So you're just gonna leave? Just like that?" Myka asked, incredulous. She glared at Helena and stepped closer. "I never took you for a coward."
Helena flinched and turned her head away. She gasped when Myka grabbed her chin, forcing her to meet Myka's eyes. Eyes that were filled with confusion, hurt and something else, something that Myka appeared to be battling hard not to show. Helena held her breath.
"You come into our lives like a whirlwind of amazement and destruction. You force me to open my eyes to the world around me, only to rip it all away. When you left, you left me with so many questions unanswered, so much turmoil inside. You caused that Helena."
"I am truly sorry," she whispered. "Now you see why I must go."
"No I don't. You and I started something, and I don't intend to let that go without a fight."
Helena swallowed and stared at Myka. This new Myka was more passionate than the old, if that was even possible.
"You teased me, even flirted with me," Myka accused. Helena smirked and looked out the window. Myka brought her face back to look at her. "Don't try to deny it. We both know it's true."
"All right, I did."
Myka sighed relieved. "I had put you on a high pedestal Helena, that's why you fell so far and landed so hard. It's why I felt that I had to leave. You did some of that, but I did the rest." Myka closed her eyes for a moment, gathering her thoughts. When she opened her eyes again she looked straight at Helena. "After all that we've been through," she stopped and took a calming breath before looking at Helena again. "I can finally see the woman behind the infamous HG Wells."
Helena nodded. "Thank you."
"And she is lovely," Myka whispered.
Helena had clearly not expected that response. She gasped and stared at Myka. "Myka?"
"I will fight for you Helena," Myka hissed. "Because you're worth it."
Helena sighed heavily and shook her head. She ran her hand through her hair. "No darling, I'm not. I'm damaged and you truly deserve better than what I can offer you."
"Do you want me?" Myka whispered. "Don't lie to me Helena."
Helena made a face and it looked for a moment as if she was going to cry. She made a frustrated sound and nodded. "God help me, but I do."
"Then don't leave," Myka said and grabbed Helena by the shoulders.
"Myka, I can't."
"Yes you can," Myka snapped and her grip on Helena's shoulders tightened. She saw Helena flinch and she let go of her. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."
"It's all right," Helena mumbled and rubbed her shoulder where Myka's fingers and dug into her sensitive flesh.
"If I could change anything, I would have been more open to your clear interest," Myka whispered.
"It is my experience that we cannot change the past, darling."
Myka shot her a sharp look. "I know that, but I have control of my actions here and now, and I intend on making the most out of it."
Helena smirked, her hands instinctively going to her hips as she took a challenging stance.
Myka smiled and cupped Helena's face bringing her lips closer to finally place a long, slow sensual kiss on Helena's beautiful mouth. Myka sighed when she felt Helena's hands on her hips, first a little hesitant, then more confident as they slid up Myka's back. Myka ran her tongue over Helena's lower lip causing her new lover to tremble and gasp. She slipped her tongue into Helena's mouth and whimpered at the sheer bliss of kissing Helena. Helena's tongue stroked hers in an eagerness to please her, to prolong the kiss. When they finally separated Myka looked into Helena's dark eyes, while still cradling Helena's face.
"Tell me again that it is best for me that you leave," she challenged.
Helena smiled a lopsided smile and closed her eyes. "It probably is, but as much as I know that I should, it appears that my leaving would be even more painful for both of us."
Myka kissed her again, confirming Helena's words. "Helena," she whispered between kisses. "You have been with a woman before right? What you said that day at the warehouse, about your past lovers, it wasn't just a joke on Pete, right?"
"No darling," Helena confirmed and caressed Myka's cheek. "I have had several female lovers actually."
Myka sighed relieved. Becoming very aware of where Helena's other hand had strayed, she gasped when Helena's thumb slowly stroked the side of her breast.
"What is the appropriate course of action in this type of situation, darling?" Helena said and to Myka's sheer delight the teasing smile and twinkle in Helena's eyes were back. "I have not engaged in these activities in a very long time."
"It depends on what you want to happen," Myka teased and ran her tongue over the shell of Helena's ear. Helena whimpered and tightened her grip on Myka. "I know that the need to see you naked and to feel your skin against mine is becoming more urgent by the minute."
Helena almost felt dizzy as Myka touched her and brushed her lips over her neck. She swayed a little when Myka pulled away. At first it confused her but then she saw the offered hand and the smile on Myka's face. Without hesitation she put her hand in Myka's.
"Lead the way, dearest."
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