DISCLAIMER: BTVS is the property of Mutant Enemy and Twentieth Century Fox.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Three Small Words
By Nyka
"Tell me you love me"
A whispered plea I know I can't answer. But I do ya' know.
I love her. Why can't I tell her?
She rises like a goddess from our shared bed, messed and musty from out recent love making. Her face is slightly twisted in pain and tears are streaking down her cheeks, dripping to her pale shoulders.
"I...can't baby"
I can't meet her eyes either. I know they're clouded with the pain my failure causes her. This isn't the first time she's asked for a declaration of love. And I know it won't be the last.
One of these days I'll tell her.
I will.
Things go bump in the night. I fight them. I win. It's what I do. I don't lose.
Why?
Because I promised her I'd come home. And I will.
"You'll hold me later?" she doesn't look up to meet my eyes. She rarely does these days. Unless we're making love, then she can't get enough of them.
"Yeah babe. I'll hold you later, bring you good dreams..."
"-and a few happy sensations" she finishes for me. We've done this before. Almost everynight since deciding we needed each other.
I needed a gentle hand, and she...well she needed a not so gentle hand. It works out fine for us. Better than fine.
I leave.
I know they're out there. Waiting. Vamps, demons, evil of the human condition. I fight two out of three. Hey I'm a slayer not a Saint.
There's one behind me in some bushes. I'm walking through the park with my stake inside my jacket. I'm staring at the ground acting depressed and a little bit angry.
He thinks I'm an easy meal. He's got a big surprise in store. He's creeping closer. I slow down when I hear a twig snap.
"Hello?" I make my voice shake as I spin in the wrong direction, opposite side of where the sound came from. I feel the air shift as he lunges for me. I spin in a quick '360' pulling my stake and driving it deep into his unbeating heart. I finish my spin facing the same way I started from.
I brush the dust from my jacket and move on.
Four in one hour. Must be Tuesday.
When I get home I hear her singing. It's a little off key but she's mostly humming anyway.
' I'm gonna lay down my burdens'
She clicks her tongue
'Down by the riverside, down by the riverside, down by the riverside'
'I'm gonna lay down my burdens, down by the riverside'
She pauses and moves somewhere inside the house.
I jump, startled when she pulls the door open.
"And study war no more?" I question.
She smirks at me. Pulling me into the house and slamming the door.
"I'd rather study Human Anatomy" she's tugging at my clothes. I end up naked in record time.
"I dunno if you wanna study me babe. I've been tossed into so many things I'm pretty sure my 'stuff' is all jumbled up in there"
She's still smirking when she reaches down and cups my naked, wet sex. Slaying makes you hungry and horny. We both consider it the upside of my destiny.
"This seems to be in the right place"
I hiss as two fingers enter me, pressing up. I sway when she hits it...
"G-spot's still in the same place"
Bulls-eye
I'm fighting a good fight. I'm sorely outnumbered. I don't know where my back up has gone off to.
Damn organized vamps took us by surprise.
I spin and kick the big one that's charging me. Jerking my arm back I catch the sniveling little skinny one that wanted to stab me in the back. He turns to dust that gets caught in my hair as I spin yet again and flip over two who are practically stumbling over each other to get to me. I shove them into a sharp tree branch. One is dust but the other is just impaled painfully.
He's whimpering like a pussy and I dismiss him as being out of the game.
I turn and catch a fist in the eye, another gets a good kick to my stomach. I get a good look at them both so I know who's ass to kick last so I can take my time at it. All I have to do is regain my feet. The pain has brought me to my knees and the punch to the head is making me dizzy. For a brief terrifying moment I think I'm not gonna return home tonight. But I have to. I promised.
I leapt to my feet. Scissor kicking the Vampire nearest to me I take off her head. The body stumbles into another forcing it onto Xanders poor weilded sword.
"Where the fuck did you go?"
He looks at me like I'm insane and decapitates 3 vamps at one. Lucky swing more than skill.
"Behind you!"
I turn and get a shallow slash across my belly.
It hurts like a bitch. It's the same vamp that kicked me earlier. Ignoring the pain this time I kick the sword out of the vamps hands and punch it a few times. Stolen blood is leaking from one of it's eyes. It stumbles back a few steps. I turn my back on him. I don't have to finish him.
He looks up in time to see his sword came down blade first. Right through his head.
The lucky sucker punch vamp is going for Xander now. He's kinda busy with two vamps of his own. I consider letting him take on three when he knocks the bigger one on her ass. Instead I throw the stake.
It goes clean through the sucker punch, dusting him and catching one of Xander's playmates. He makes quick business of the last vamp.
We dust ourselves off and move to leave when he freezes. I see where he's pointing.
There's one vamp left. The one I impaled against the tree.
"Harmless"
"It's suffering" he frowns "Besides I used to know him. He pulled down my shorts in gym all the time"
Sighing I walk over to the vamp and twist his little head off. He goes 'poof' and l look to Xander.
"That's better"
"Yeah"
That sword cut me deeper than I thought. I've walked Xander home and now I'm stumbling only a few blocks away from my own house.
The world is shifting so much I can hardly keep my balance. And there's a dancing elephant in a pink tu-tu 'bout a block up. I stumble again and fall against a car.
The elephant disappears when the car alarm goes off.
"Fucking mother of shit!"
Oh that's a new one. Wonder where I've heard it before.
I blink a few times and try to get my barrings. I hope there wasn't poison on the end of that blade.
I need to get home. She wants me there. I promised her I'd come.
I need to keep that promise. I love her too much to hurt her that way.
I used to all the time. Break promises. Then I came home one night and she was leaving. Couldn't have that.
She was my salvation. My reason for fighting the good fight.
Nope can't break this promise. Gotta get home.
Then it occurs to me. I've heard something before. About those three small words she keeps begging me to say.
Some stupid teeny boper flick I watched at 2am or something.
'-and those 3 small words,
that came way 2 late,
for me to know that your the 1'
I'm about to gag remembering that cheesy movie. Or maybe it's the sickening sway the sidewalk to my front door has adopted.
I fall and land hard against the solid wood, groaning as I lay my head back and try not to lose my dinner.
It was some really good spagetti.
The door opens and I hit my head on the tweety bird welcome mat.
"Oh my god baby what happened?"
She pulls me into the house shutting the door and leaning against it with my head in her lap. She's brushing away the tangled strands of my hair as she does after my showers.
"I was thinking" I start and forget what I was thinking.
"Oh baby please, please be okay" She begging. I can feel her tears wet my cheeks.
There's a growing puddle of blood on the floor and some on her clothes.
"I should say it" my mind is drifting. I wanna tell her. Can't chicken out tonight.
"Shh baby save your strength" she's reaching for the phone. Probably wants to call Giles.
"I havta say it" my head drops and I lose consciousness for a few seconds.
I open my eyes again and she's sobbing as she hangs up the cordless.
"I just wanna say..." I take a deep breath, catching her eyes. Her intense green eyes. Now tinged with gray in her worries "I love you baby"
And everythings black.
The End