DISCLAIMER: CSI is the property of CBS and Jerry Bruckheimer. The song
'Through The Dark' belongs to KT Tunstall & Martin Terefe.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is my first attempt. Feedback is welcome!
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Through The Dark
Half an hour before, in the car, she had just admitted her feelings for Sara, and now she felt at loss. Warrick had called Grissom and filled him in on what had happened. Grissom told him he'd send Nick over and ordered both of them to process the house as if it were a crime scene.
"I'll send Nick. Both of you process the house. It could be a possible crime scene." Grissom said.
"Crime scene?" Warrick inquired.
"A week ago Catherine worked on an arson case in which the suspect was released due to a failure of the sheriff's office."
"Ah, and now you think this can't be a coincidence." Warrick stated.
"There's no such thing as coincidence, Warrick, you know that." Even though Warrick couldn't see Grissom's face he knew the smug look that now plastered the face of his boss.
"Nick is on his way." Grissom added and before Warrick could reply he had hung up.
The tall dark man walked over to the ambulance that was still on the scene. He told Catherine that Grissom sent Nick so both of them could process the house.
"Process my house?" Catherine asked, not immediately seeing the possible connection between the arson-case and the fire at her place.
"The McKinnen case" Warrick countered "This could be related. We have to look into it."
Catherine started to cry again "So, this is my fault" She sobbed.
"Of course not, you know that" Warrick said while he pulled Catherine in his arms. He saw the paramedics were about to head out, and so he walked her over to the ambulance.
To Catherine it seemed as if the ride to the hospital took hours. Consoling Lindsey, who had started to cry again because all that had happened started to dawn upon her, Catherine's mind kept replaying the look on Sara's face over and over again.
The ambulance arrived at Desert Palms Hospital. There the doctors told her Lindsey had to stay one night for observation. As the paramedic had already told she only suffered from smoke-inhalation and had to be on extra oxygen for the rest of the day.
While Nancy stayed in a room with a now sleeping Lindsey, Catherine went looking for Sara. She walked over to the nearest nurse's station. "Excuse me, where can I find Sara Sidle?" she asked the nurse that was sitting there.
"And you are?" the petite blonde nurse asked as she looked up from the paperwork she was doing.
"Catherine Willows, she was involved in an accident at my house. I really would like to see her."
"I'm sorry, only relatives are allowed in the ICU" was the answer she got.
"ICU?!?" Catherine almost screamed. "What's wrong with How I " Catherine felt her world collide. Everything around her started spinning and she grabbed hold of the desk in front of her to find her balance.
"I think you should sit down ma'am" The nurse walked over to Catherine, and tried to get her into a seat.
"No! I need to see her." Catherine snapped back "She needs me, she looked so scared" As she was almost starting to tyrant against the nurse someone called out her name.
"Catherine?" Grissom was walking towards the two women who were now both seated in the chairs opposite the nurse's station. "Are you Ok? Are Lindsey and Nancy alright?"
"Yeah, They'll be fine. They're asleep right now."
"Then what are you doing here? What's wrong?" He noticed that Catherine was still looking very anxious.
"They won't let me see her." She started "They won't let me see Sara"
"Relatives only" The nurse repeated, now to Grissom.
As Grissom started to talk with the nurse, hoping to pry out some info on Sara's conditions, Catherine decided she wouldn't let it pass.
Catherine started off towards the end of the hall where the ICU was situated. As she went through sliding doors that had in large white letters ICU on it, a door opened, and she caught a glimpse of Sara. As she raced over to the room she heard a voice behind her.
"Ma'am, you're not allowed in there!"
Catherine totally ignored the nurse who tried to grab hold of her. Nothing was going to stop her from seeing Sara.
Before the nurse could react Catherine was already at the brunette's side, totally in shock about the state she found Sara in.
The nurse tried to pull her out of the room, but Catherine wouldn't move an inch. One look at Catherine's face and the nurse knew not to bother the strawberry blonde. So, deciding to give her a few minutes, she took a step back.
Monitors were all around giving off bleeps, several IV-drips stood beside the bed. Sara was covered with cuts and bruises over her face, large parts of her head were wrapped in dressings.
After minutes of just standing next to the bed, staring at the younger woman, she carefully placed her hand over Sara's.
"My God, Sara. You're hand is so cold." Catherine spoke up for the first time.
As she leaned over Sara to give her a kiss on her forehead she kept whispering "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."
Suddenly one of the monitors alarm went, and before Catherine's mind fully understood what was going on she was being pulled back by the nurse and people from the medical staff came running into the room.
Grissom walked over to her and pulled her onto a seat. The door opened and three persons rushed a gurney with Sara on top through the hall.
Grissom, although not the person with the best knowledge of human characters, knew there had to be something between Catherine and Sara, although he couldn't quite put his finger on what that 'something' was. He had never seen Catherine this desperate and this broken. Not even when Eddie died.
The nurses who had just minutes before tried to stop Catherine from entering Sara's room walked over to them.
"What happened?" Grissom asked.
"She has an internal bleeding. She's going into surgery right now." With that said the nurse walked off, leaving Grissom and Catherine behind.
"Catherine, you should go to Lindsey now."
"No" Catherine said, her voice filled with emotion.
"There's nothing you can do for Sara now. Don't you think you should be with your daughter right now?" Grissom answered sternly.
This seemed to penetrate into her mind. Catherine realized Grissom was right, her conscience also told her to go to Lindsey, but the only thing that occupied her mind was Sara.
Grissom noticed that the woman in front of him was struggling with what to do. "Come on let's go" He pulled her out of the chair, and together they walked off.
The sun was set low on the horizon, the sky had had all sorts of colors, and now it just turned into black. And with the change from daytime into night, dark thoughts also clouded Catherine's mind.
The silence in the room where Lindsey was still being observed was deafening. Catherine sat in a chair next to Lindsey's bed, her head in her hands and tears silently streaming across her cheek.
Sara was still in surgery. She already had been in for about five hours, and Catherine was on the verge of a complete break-down.
'What if ' she couldn't even think about it. The blonde knew she should be grateful that her little girl was given what had happened to her ok, and that she had to be strong for her and for Sara, but she couldn't.
Taking the hand of a sleeping Lindsey into her own she started to sob louder, and unwanted thoughts started to fill her mind.
But before her thoughts could completely go off into the deep end the door opened and in came the nurse who hours before had pulled her away from Sara.
Grissom, who had gone back to the HQ hours ago, had arranged with the nurse that as soon as Sara came out of surgery Catherine would be informed.
"Yes" Catherine's voice croaked as she wiped away her tears, but as she realized who was in the room panic became visible on her face.
"Miss Sidle's out of surgery. She had multiple internal bleedings which have been stopped successfully."
This was a big relieve to Catherine who let out a deep sigh. That was until she saw the look on the nurse's face. A look that wasn't very promising.
The nurse, called Ann, walked over to Catherine and placed a hand on her shoulder hoping to give the clearly worn out woman some comfort.
"She is stable at the moment, but the next few hours are critical. If she comes through, chances are at her side."
"Can I see her? I need to see her." Catherine asked.
"Well I'm not " Ann started
"Please We I'm I'm her " Catherine stammered as she thought 'what am I to her? We haven't even had time to really talk about that.'
"I understand" Ann said as she nodded her head. "I'll see what I can do. Right now you should try to get some sleep. If Miss Sidle's conditions change I'll personally come by to tell you."
Catherine nodded, a meek smile forming on her face.
"I know how it feels when you see someone you love suffer that much" Ann stated, "I'll make sure you'll be able to visit her tomorrow." With one last squeeze in Catherine's shoulder she turned to leave.
Suddenly she felt a hand on her arm. She turned around and saw Catherine standing behind her.
"Thank you" Catherine sincerely said.
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