DISCLAIMER: I donít own anything in this fic (not even the computer it was typed on, Ack!), the characters are owned by Dick Wolf, NBC, and other far richer people who are not me. Please donít sue, Iím a poor college student, all you would get is overpriced textbooks and notebooks where I should have notes written not fic ideas.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.

To My Eyes
By Listy

Working in SVU has been an experience. Itís not like many other units. Here you meet the victims as well as the perps. I see a lot of women and children in this job. Iíve worked here for years now and I still feel inadequate in consoling them during a time no one should have to live through. Thereís only so much a person can do. But weíre the good guys, and we always get our man.


The weather didnít turn out as bad as they predicted for today. You can actually feel the warmth of the sun, when the wind isnít blowing that is. Of course Olivia is in her leather jacket. She must sleep with that thing on it fits so perfectly on her. Alex is bundled up as always. All the time Iíve known her she hasnít been able to stand the cold.

I observe them like I have done many times before. Theyíre tiptoeing in each otherís personal space again. Itís like they want to be close, but are wary as to the otherís reaction. Oblivious. Or blind. The glaringly obvious isnít sinking in with those two, each one preoccupied with her own feelings to see whatís in front of their noses. I sigh a lot at them.

"We laugh just a little too loud, we stand just a little too close, we stare just a little too longÖ" I sing the old Bonnie Raitt hit softly to myself with a grin. I wonder if I gave them a CD with that on it if they would get it. Probably not.

Now I canít help but laugh a little. Up comes Munch to talk with them and heís not even close to invading personal space with them and yet, Alex and Olivia are so close together theyíre sharing body heat. And what heat. I canít help it, Iím human with senses. Any straight male would stop to stare at those two.

Alex spots me, guess itís time for me to stop watching them and join in. Sometimes, I really do love my job.


Ouch. The shitty thing about my job is that my back hurts after a busy day like today. A cold beer, a full stomach, and the late night news are just what I need. The house is quiet for once, everyone asleep. I treasure these rare times of solitude, especially after a long day of crying victims and scared kids. The human race is crap sometimes.

The news is playing an interview that Alex did on the courthouse steps this evening. After giving my testimony today I headed back to the station, I still had paperwork to sign off on for Captain Cragen. Just as I thought, Olivia is by her side. Iíve noticed a system those two have for interviews. At first I thought I had imagined it, but after seeing it a few times more I realized that I wasnít just seeing things. When Alex is ready to get away from the reporters, the hand closest to Olivia gently brushes the brunetteís palm at her side. After that Olivia "escorts" Alex away from the vultures.

There it is, the interview is ending. Sure enough, there goes full Detective Benson mode helping the ADA away from the crowd, keeping her body between the reporters and Alex. The blonde never lets anyone else do this. The one time I tried to, when seeing a herd of shouting reporters barreling down on us, she visibly stiffened. She then gave me a polite nod before going to the elevators that led to her office.

I sometimes wonder how this system started between them. Was it something they talked about? Probably not. They do a lot of communicating through looks. Must be a female thing. Olivia has always been protective of Alex, she probably just noticed that the blonde needed help out of a situation and it went on from there.

So much for time alone, if I stay in my chair any longer Iíll fall sleep.


Something has happened. I donít know what exactly has happened, but it has. I sip the soda I just got from the machines. My throat was dry from talking with a witness for the past two hours. I observe them through the glass that separates the squad room from the busy hallway. Not that the squad room is ever calmer than out here.

Alex is sitting at her spot. She staked it out pretty quickly after she started working with SVU. Sitting on the edge of Oliviaís desk, with the detective sitting in her chair right next to her, Alex is dressed in a short gray skirt and jacket with a blue silk shirt, her legs crossed at the knees. Alex might be totally smitten with "her" detective but I canít help but admire the sight.

There it is. That is whatís different. Olivia put her hand on the blondeís knee and rubbed her thumb against her leg. Well shit, they must have finally said something. I drink a little more of my soda to hide a smirk, or they finally did something.

Any doubt that they have spoken up in some way soars out the window at the smile Olivia has on her face at something Alex says. The brunette doesnít smile that much, at least not the kind that reaches her eyes. I have a feeling that sheíll be doing a lot more of that now.

The lawyer just put her hand over Oliviaís on her leg. The I-Donít-Like-To-Be- Touched Lawyer. I give it two days for anyone else to notice. On second thought, considering who I work with, talk about blind detectives, it will probably be a month before anyone else notices and only if they make out in the squad room. Though I certainly wouldnít mind seeing that.

Olivia sees me, removes her hand from Alexís knee and uses it to wave me over with a smile. I thought the sexual tension between those two would ease up a little when theyíd finally get together. Damn, if it gets any worse weíll have to segregate them to their own little corner or no work would get done in here. They probably want to see what I have on the Sansen case. Yup, itís gonna be heck to work with them for a while.


I watch Olivia and Alex walk out of the interview room. Itís been three weeks since I saw things changed between them. No one else has noticed yet. No wonder it took them forever with this case. A glance across the table shows that heís still writing things down. Theyíre probably talking about whether to offer a deal to see if there are any more victims. They are so close in each otherís personal space it seems like it is only their clothing that keeps them apart. Alex nods then her expression changes as she places a hand on Oliviaís arm comfortingly. I concentrate on Alexís lips. Over the years Iíve gotten really good at reading lips. Always figured since I observed people so much I might as well learn the skill.

~~I know this is hard Liv. Itís hard for me too, I never expectedÖ~~

Olivia is saying something, but I canít tell what, her back is to me.

~~Iím willing to take the death penalty off the table only if he has more information.~~

I wish Olivia was to the side so I could at least have a chance to know what sheís saying.

~~Donít forget, my place at eight tonight.~~

She nods and says something again. Whoa, it must have been good because Alex is leaning in closer with aÖis that a leer?

~~No pajamas needed.~~

Guess this better go quickly, they have plans for tonight.

Sheís Detective Benson now as she walks in. Iíve seen the transformation so many times from the woman Olivia to the Detective that it doesnít phase me at all how quickly one becomes the other.

"Curt, do you want a lawyer?"

I laugh. "Olivia, I may just be a sketch artist but Iíve been with SVU long enough to know my rights. I have paid attention."

She sits down in front of me next to Elliot. He looks so serious and like he wants to hit me. I barely refrain from rolling my eyes. They donít like that kind of thing.

"So do you want to confess to the rape-murder of six women, Curt?" Elliot asks me this. I lean back in my chair. Iíll talk with him. With a sigh I sneak a glance at Olivia. This has to hurt her. Itís not everyday you have to arrest a friend youíve worked with for three years. She can take it I know that, but thereís no sense in driving the knife in deeper than needed.

I shake my head.

"Dana Puzey positively identified you as her rapist when you walked in today. Her neighbor saw you outside her apartment building the night of the rape. Your roommates say you didnít get in until two in the morning, well after the time of the rape. And youíre saying you didnít do it?" He looks like heís waiting for me to make a wrong move to throttle me.

"Not six. Thirteen. Well, it would have been thirteen if Ms. Puzey hadnít gotten away." I laugh. "It really is an unlucky number. I should have stayed at home this morning."

"Thereís more?"

"Of course there is." I look into his eyes. I want him to get this. "You really are clueless. I probably could have kept going and youíd never notice shit. HmmÖthat would have been nice. I was really getting into a groove."

"You sick bastardó"

"Why?" Olivia interrupted

I look over at her then down at the table. Quietly I respond, "I didnít want them to suffer."

"You raped them you sick fuó"

I laugh again. "Whatís wrong Elliot? I did something you have only dreamed about? To feel a woman under you, the excitement of the chase, the feeling when you catch your prey?" My head tilts as I lean in closer to him. "Youíre just too scared to do it, thatís why you became a cop. The chase. The excitement. The danger of it all."

"What do you mean by not wanting them to suffer?" Again, Olivia is the one that asks a question.

I immediately find myself leaning back in my chair and look at my hands. "Iíve seen how they areÖ after. They cry when they describe their rapist to me, they cry when they come in for the line up, they cry at trial. The ones that donít cry, itís like theyíre dead."

Elliot rolls his eyes. I had always dismissed what those others had said after being interviewed about what a bastard he is. They were right.

I take the yellow legal pad from in front of him and the pen beside it, ready to start writing.

"If Alex takes the death penalty off the table Iíll give you the names, places, and confession for all the victims." I know she already said she would but saying that would reveal I was eavesdropping. I want to make sure they get everything right. Iím not taking credit for anotherís work, that just feels like plagiarism.

Olivia nods at me.

I begin to write the events out that started two years ago. A grin is on my lips as I recall my first time.

The End

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