DISCLAIMER: Birds of Prey, its characters, and anything else belong
to their rightful owners which excludes me any way you look at it.
No copyright infringement is intended, no profit is being made, etc.
Just borrowing for a little fun. Also, do not read if even the
thought of same-sex relationships bothers you (then again, if it
does, you are *so* in the wrong place).
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is my first BoP fanfic (and also one of my first fics ever). Had a slight burst of "inspiration" after watching the finale so I decided to write it down. Since I did write it down I decided to share. I am not, have never been, and will never be a writer. (I enjoy abusing the English language far too much to be one.) This story is also un-beta'd, so all mistakes are mine.
FEEDBACK: Even if it's "you suck" written in purple crayon.
RATING: PG-13 for language and violence
SPOILERS: Through the finale.
It was a slow night.
Helena figured it had to do with the fact that two major criminals went down earlier in the week. Nothing like the fear of being the next one caught to keep the minor players quiet for a while. She grinned as she leaped over another alley that was surprisingly free of seedy activity. It was good to know that even the dumbest of criminals were cowardly enough to stay in. That coupled with the fact that Barbara was letting Dinah get in a little solo action meant that she only had half the town to sweep. So far she had only had to deal with a whole 2 muggings.
And there always was a but.
Slow nights meant that she had a lot of time to do nothing but think. And thinking frustrated her. Well, not the thinking itself, but the thoughts that were constantly on her mind lately. She sighed as she realized she was even trying to avoid the topic in her head. She sighed again as she looked down and saw what looked to be an extremely unfair streetfight. Thank god for distractions.
"Hi boys," she announced as she landed behind the biggest of the 4 men. "Is this a private party, or can anyone join in?"
"Well, it is an invite only affair," sneered one of the others, "but who are we to turn down a pretty face like yours."
With that the man closest to her lunged at her, but he was far too slow for Huntress as she stepped out of his way while kicking him in the side. As he went down she flipped over another one that seemed to be shocked still and knocked him out with a clean hook punch to the jaw. This broke the first sneering man out of his surprised daze as he charged towards her with the crowbar he was holding. Huntress grabbed the crowbar and flipped him onto his back. As he tried to scramble back up she tossed aside the makeshift weapon and pulled the man up, slamming him into a wall.
"Didn't your mother teach you how to play nice?" growled Huntress as she applied more pressure to the man's chest.
"I--uh--huh..." the man tried to articulate with his eyes wide, but before he could say anything fear got the best of him and he passed out.
"Gee, that was fun," Helena drolled as she let the man slide to the ground.
"What was fun?" asked the familiar voice in her ear.
"Some guys picking on a kid. I broke it up, but the kid ran off before I could ask him anything."
"Ah. So you're upset that you didn't get a thank you?" chuckled Barbara.
"No. I'm upset that these guys were wusses and I didn't even get a proper workout out of taking 'em out," sighed Helena.
"So you're bored then?"
"Well," drawled Barbara, obviously thinking over her next statement. "Why don't you call it an early night. There's obviously minimal activity tonight, and it will give Dinah a nice ego boost to be in charge of the whole town for once. Of course, you'd have to be on-call just in case something *does* come up."
"Now what kind of a role model would I be to the kid if I played hooky just 'cause I was bored?"
"It's been a hectic week, I'm sure she won't think any less of you if you took a night off."
"Let me guess, probably because she doesn't think too highly of me to begin with."
"I know," Helena cut off before she got a lecture about her attitude. "It's just..."
"Something's bothering you," Barbara finished for her. "I'm not going to interrogate you about it, but don't try to deny it. The fact that you're arguing with me why I *shouldn't* let you take the rest of the night off is enough evidence to show that."
"I'm fine Barbara," Helena sighed again.
"You've sighed more times than I can count tonight. You may be fine, more or less, but something does have you... off."
"We all have personal shit to deal with Barbara. We can't afford to take time off to deal with it."
"I'd normally agree with you. Once you put on your mask... er... non- mask... you leave whatever's bothering you out of what you have to do. But there's nothing out there tonight Hel."
"I..." Helena started before she sighed again. She knew it would be useless to argue against Barbara. The redhead would have a counter- point to anything she could say. "Fine. Call me if you need me." She waited a moment before adding softly, "Thanks Barbara."
"For caring. I'll see you guys later," and with that Helena jumped out of the alley back to race along the rooftops.
Great, thought Helena. Now she had the rest of the night to think about what she had been mentally avoiding. After fifteen minutes or so of building hopping she came to her favorite one. An old apartment building that had been cleared out for renovation a good 4 years ago. The building still hadn't had any work done on it, and Helena was starting to wonder if the building owner just forgot about it, seeing as it wasn't in the friendliest end of New Gotham.
Helena flopped down onto one of the ledges and leaned back into the wall. She liked to sit here and look at the night sky whenever she had things to think about. She hadn't been around in a while because lately she spent her free nights bothering Reese. Reese. Just thinking about him made her groan, and not at all in the good way. She didn't know what kind of hallucinogenic she was on when she thought she had any chemistry with him, but ever since they became a little more than business partners even thinking about him gave her a headache. Needless to say she hadn't seen him since the Harley Quinn debacle.
Harley Quinn. Dr. Harleen Quinzel. God, she couldn't believe she trusted that woman. She told her everything. She even liked her. So of course she turns out to be a psychopathic criminal mastermind. Most of the stuff that went down probably wouldn't have happened if that lunatic hadn't been her therapist. And if the whole thing didn't happen, she wouldn't have these thoughts that haunt her mind now.
Wade. That's what it all boiled down to. If Harley hadn't killed Wade she would still be living in her fun, uncomplicated, land of denial. That, and Barbara would be happy. At least she thought. But no, Wade was gone. And when she found out Harley had killed him her first feeling was of an odd sense of relief. *That* was why she ran. Harley had killed Barbara's boyfriend, and she was happy. Barbara was hurt, but she was still happy. She couldn't stand herself, so she ran. She found all of the answers to why that was her first reaction as she was choking down liquor before Reese had found her. Everything finally made sense and it took murder and alcohol for her to figure it out.
She had been jealous. That was what drove her every move. The only reason she paid Reese any attention was because she couldn't stand the fact that Barbara had found someone serious. Serious enough to meet the parents. Serious enough to keep dating even after criticism from said parents. Serious enough to let him into the clocktower and see the *real* her. And that, Helena realized, was the last straw. As long as Barbara was still keeping being Oracle a secret from him, he wasn't completely in. But she let him in. And it hurt.
So she threw herself at Reese, and it seemed like a good idea at the time. But then again, she probably would have thrown herself at Gibson at the time if he were there. Now that Wade was gone, Barbara was sad, and she was stuck with Reese comes her moment of enlightenment.
She was in love with Barbara. Barbara Gordon. Oracle. Formerly Batgirl. Her former guardian. Her mentor. Her best friend. She'd probably been in love with Barbara since she'd first met her. Everything made much more sense when she looked back at it all with this new knowledge.
The problem wasn't that she was in love with Barbara. She was okay with that. The problem was that she didn't know what to do about it. Telling Barbara would mean risking everything, and as cliched as it sounded, she'd rather have Barbara as just a friend than not at all. But on the other hand she couldn't see Barbara kicking her out of her life just because she was in love with her. And while she was certain she could probably hide her feelings under normal circumstances, her life was anything but normal. The last thing she needed was accidentally revealing her feelings after a hectic mission that left her exhausted and possibly not completely in control of herself. But again, while she was certain Barbara wouldn't cut her completely out of her life, she wasn't certain that their dynamic could remain the same after such a revelation.
Helena was frustrated by the thoughts circling through her head. All of this thinking and not one course of action that stood out as the better idea. She sighed one more time as she closed her eyes. She needed to clear her head or she was going to go insane. As she started to relax her breathing slowed and she slowly drifted off to sleep.
"Mmmfm..." Helena mumbled.
"Bu... I.. on't wanna go scho' Barb-ra..."
Helena jumped awake and realized she was teetering close to the edge of the ledge she had fallen asleep on. Shit, she thought, I wonder what time it is.
"Helena?" Barbara again called out reminding the brunette why she woke up in the first place.
"I'm here Barbara," Helena replied. "Did you need something?"
"No. I was just checking in on your tracker and realized you hadn't moved from where you were in a few hours. And when you didn't reply right away I got slightly worried."
"Sorry," Helena said sheepishly. "Sorta fell asleep."
"You fell asleep?"
"On top of an abandoned building?" Barbara asked unbelievingly.
"Yeah," she answered nonchalantly.
"I'm not even going to ask," Barbara mumbled. "Go home Helena. Get some proper rest. I'll talk to you later."
"Yeah, thanks for waking me up," Helena said. "G'night Barbara."
Helena smiled as she stood up and stretched. Looking out at the skyline she knew she had her answer. Talking to Barbara made her smile. Thinking about Barbara caused a slight twinge in her heart that wasn't entirely unpleasant. And she knew seeing Barbara made even the crappiest of days a good one. There really was only one thing she could do.
She realized that after spending a long time mulling over the situation the answer came ridiculously easily. Sure, she could keep her feelings to herself. She could probably still be happy just admiring from afar. But she didn't *want* to just admire from afar. She *wanted* Barbara. And she knew she'd regret it if she didn't try. Those certainties were the only things that mattered.
With those thoughts in mind she looked down at her watch as she headed towards the clocktower. A little after midnight. Dinah would probably be out a little bit longer since it was a Friday night. Which meant Barbara would be awake--and alone--for a little while longer. She smiled as she bounded over another building.
She was going to tell Barbara how she felt.
Sequel It's You
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