DISCLAIMER: Twilight and its characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No infringement intended.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: First story I have written for this series, so pardon me if they are a little off. This is an AU of New Moon. This is for crimsoncat. I hope you enjoy!
SPOILERS: Nothing past New Moon (book), as I haven't read past that. But I must say, writing a femslash story that is based around canon is hard.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
By Erin Griffin
One thing about Forks, Washington was that when it rained, it poured. The same could be said for the snow. I stared out the window, now that I had finished the dishes and left Charlie downstairs watching the Seahawks game. I sighed, my breath fogging the window, and I brought my finger up to the cold glass. For the smallest of moments, it felt like I was touching him, or it would have been if the condensation hadn't ruined the fantasy. It has been a few months since he left. Since they all left. My boyfriend, my best friend, and the people in my life that I thought of as a second family. I thought about Alice then, wishing she was there. I missed her as much as I missed Edward, but unlike him, I wasn't angry with her as well as sad. I tried to force his last words out of my head as the snowflakes seemed to get bigger and fall more in clumps rather than in flakes. I sat in the rocking chair then, and scooted it over to the window, watching the snow get too heavy on the branches, and then fall as the weight became too much. There was a shuffle, and I turned towards the sound, wondering if Charlie had come up to check on me. I jumped when I saw a figure on my bed. "Alice?"
"I didn't want to disturb your thoughts. They looked important," she said in her usual soft way. I had known then that the shuffle had been purposeful, her way of letting me know she was there.
"ALICE!" I cried once my mind registered the fact that it really was her. I got up from the rocking chair, and she also stood with a smile as I wrapped my arms around her. She was even colder than normal for the Cullens because of the weather, but she wouldn't have been affected by it. "How did you-"
"Charlie," Alice replied with a finger pointing down to gesture towards where the sounds of the football game were.
"Where have you been?"
"California," she replied simply.
"Is E- Are you... Are you back for good?" I asked, afraid to hear the answer. When she shook her head sadly, I looked down. I tried to fight my tears as it all rushed back, and that blackness in my chest that had been there since Edward left felt as it always had. It was almost as if it was better if Alice hadn't even come, but it was so good to see her. "Then... Why are you back? N-Not that I don't-"
A cold finger touched my lips as Alice shushed me. She looked out the window and said, "I missed the snow. Thinking of snow makes me think of you. I missed you, too."
"That better not be an albino crack," I murmured, but I felt touched that she missed me. At least I knew the Cullens hadn't forgotten me completely. I looked into her golden eyes, and I knew that she'd fed right before seeing me. Alice smiled, but she shook her head softly again.
Alice looked me over for a second, her smile never wavering, and I wondered what it was she was looking for when she searched my face, my body. "I thought I might go caroling, but even I couldn't predict how bad the weather was going to get. Washington weather, even in Forks, is quite unpredictable."
Having lived in Forks for over a year at this point, I nodded, knowing exactly what she meant. At least in Pheonix, there was always sun, but here, you never knew whether it was going to just be gray or if it was going to drizzle, or if it was going to be the downpour of the century. Likewise with snow. Even Steve Pool* couldn't tell you if it was going to go from rain to suddenly having God's snowballs chucked at you. It was then that the vampire's words struck me. "Caroling? Does anyone even do that anymore?" I asked her. She nodded.
"Yes, and I would like for you to come with me. Caroling is much more fun with a group, but if a group of Cullens did it, then people might not take to it. But if you're there, Bella, they might like it."
"But I can't sing," I protested, "and look at the weather!"
"Oh, quit whining, Bella. I know we can't go right now. Even if it wasn't snowing so hard, we would have to wait until it gets a little darker. It sets a better mood all around."
I stared at her. "Alright. You're the one who's been caroling before. I'll tell you what, if the snow lets up around the time it gets dark, I will go with you, but I can't stay out long or Charlie'll have a fit. Don't expect me to sound good, though," I told her. This made Alice laugh, her golden eyes happy with a hint of something else- sadness in them.
"I can handle that. It will be good for you to get out and about. Charlie says you've not been okay." At this, I swallowed. I didn't want to talk about how torn up I had been the past couple of months, and pathetically so. I had hoped that I had at least Charlie fooled. I never wanted him to worry so much about me after Edward and the Cullens all left, but I guess I wasn't as good at pretending as I thought I had been. Or maybe Charlie is a lot more observant than I gave him credit for.
Instead, I said, hoping to draw the attention away from me, "We live in a small town, Alice. It must be a mile in between in some people's houses."
"What did I say about whining? You know I will give you a ride," Alice said in her good natured way. From the way she stressed the word 'ride', I knew she meant I would be traveling by piggyback, and I forced my mind away from a few months ago, when Edward showed me his meadow, how we traveled there. Alice saw my face and she, too, left the subject of my last couple of months, and the one who caused my pain, alone. She picked up the brush from my desk and motioned for me to sit next to her, and she ran the brush through my hair as if I were a doll. Hell, with how thin and pale I was compared to other girls, I might as well have been. I let her; the strokes that ran through my scalp felt nice, and it soothed me just knowing that Alice was there. When a few minutes later, Alice stopped suddenly, I opened my eyes, and looked over to where she had been. I had felt no movement of the bed, nor did I hear a sound, but she was suddenly at my window. Without words, she handed me my coat, and I sighed and put it on. After I bundled up, the two if us went down the stairs to speak with Charlie. Part of me hoped that he would be against it, but after a moment, he let us go with a warning to stay away from the woods and to not be out more than two hours, as it was still bad out there and it was a school night.
"You enchanted him," I accused once the front door to my house closed, but there was no force behind my words, and it was said in more of a teasing tone than anything. Alice only looked at me with her innocent eyes, and I looked away. "Alright, which house first?" I asked as we started towards a secluded area so that I could get onto Alice's back, "and what songs?"
"I know the perfect spot to start." She held out her hand and I took it. Before I really knew it, I was on her back, holding on for my life as she ran through the trees. I could tell that we were headed towards Angela's house, and I wondered why she wanted to go here. "They love carolers here. They were so nice a couple of years ago." At my hesitation, she insisted, "It will be fun!"
"Angela doesn't really like me," I said, "and I doubt my choking up 'Silent Night' will make her opinion of me any better."
"That's it! We'll sing Silent Night first," Alice said as if she hadn't even heard the rest of what I'd said. I sighed as she was already knocking on the door. When it opened, who I assumed to be Angela's mother appeared, and she smiled. Apperently, she recognized Alice from a couple of years back.
"Come to grace us with your singing again? I am afraid everyone else is out, but I would love to hear you. Give me a moment to get my coat and shoes."
Alice smiled again and said, "Take your time." When the door closed, she looked around at the wreath on the door, and then up. I looked as well, and saw a small sprig of mistletoe hanging from the doorframe. It was supposed to have been hung from the inside, but it had gotten caught on the door when Angela's mother had closed it. I couldn't help the blush that came to my cheeks as Alice drew me in, at first for a hug, her hard body firmly against mine. And then she said, "It's tradition," before her lips found mine. I didn't struggle against her, as her kiss was soft, and different from Edward's. When she backed away, I saw that it had begun to snow again, and while it melted on my skin, now flushed from the kiss, the snow seemed to stick to Alice and remain on her skin. Before I could get myself together, the door opened again, and Angela's mother was there with a plate of cookies.
"I hope you two aren't too cold out here tonight. You should have seen the flakes that were coming down earlier."
"We wanted to get at least a couple of houses before it started to get bad again," Alice said kindly as she accepted a cookie and passed it to me. I numbly took it and held on to it while Alice counted us down. Then we began to sing together, but not having rehearsed, and me being bad at pretty much everything, we didn't sound that great. Well, Alice sounded like an angel, but with me singing along, I am sure I made her sound bad. I still didn't know why she wanted me of all people along.
As Angela's mother clapped, gave us a baggy with cookies in it, and sent us on our way, I said, "We weren't right under the mistletoe." My voice wasn't angry or anything, but I was confused.
"I know," was all she said as a reply. There was nothing else as we walked closer to the trees and I got back on Alice's back. She waited for me to get situated before I put my head down against her neck to avoid the wind as she ran. I could smell her natural scent, and I didn't have any of the thoughts come to me that had on our way out here.
We sang for a couple more houses, Alice's arm always around my shoulder in her silent encouragement, before the snowflakes got big again, and then she took me home. While we were on the porch, she drew me to her again, and I was liking the way she felt a little too much. "This is where I have to leave, Bella," she said. "I wish that things were different, but things are this way for a reason. I really believe that." She kissed me again, and I returned the kiss this time, opening my mouth to allow her tongue. When she backed away again a few minutes later, I didn't want her to. I found myself reaching for her, but she shook her head sadly. "It is time to wake up, Bella...."
I opened my eyes slowly when I heard my alarm clock go off, and I reached blindly for it. I was shocked by the dream I had, but a part of me was grateful to it. That pain that seemed to be always present in my chest lessened ever so slightly, and I prayed that it would continue to go as time passed. I knew that 'Dream Alice' was right. It was time to wake up. Edward wasn't coming back, and after a dream like that, I couldn't help the millisecond where I wondered if I wanted him to. As a longing came over me for the first time in two months to actually go back to sleep, I almost wished for the days of the darkness and the dreams of Sam.
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