DISCLAIMER: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit and its characters are the property of NBC and Dick Wolf.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Walk The Line
"You don't have to do this, Novak." Rain was pouring, thunder clapping, lighting flashing above their heads. It were as if the Gods themselves could not contain Casey's fury and were pouring it over the entire city. Olivia tried to control her shivering and look as calm as possible, but the chattering of her teeth was a dead give away.
"Please. You know you have a choice in this." The ADA said nothing, just shook her head like a petulant child. "Casey, this isn't how you want this to go. Look at me, I'm your friend." She lowered the gun she'd been holding, previously poised with a perfect target at the red head's brain. "I'm unarmed, and I just want to help you."
"NO." The word tore from her as she took a step back, brining Olivia a step forward automatically, as if they were connected by some invisible string.
"Casey, please." She was begging. Olivia hated begging. Her mother had been a beggar. It was something she swore to herself she would never do. But desperate times call for desperate measures, and in that moment it wasn't about her. It was about Casey. It was about saving Casey from herself.
"Stop it!" Casey shook her head, eyes wide and shining with tears. She looked so small, in the over sized NYPD sweatshirt that Elliot had draped over her just hours earlier. It felt like days ago that they'd stood together in the squad, flipping through case files as if nothing were wrong. So much had happened in so little time. Olivia suddenly felt very tired.
"Let me help you, Casey." She was using tactics she'd learned in training, pulling them from every inch of her exhausted mind. Use her name, it will keep her familiar with you. Maintain eye contact, but don't stare. No sudden movements. A calm soothing voice. Do not get angry. "I just want to help you."
"You don't care." Casey's voice was so small that Olivia could barely hear it over the howl of the wind. "You don't even notice. No one even notices!" She was screaming again, backing up absently and shaking her head. Red hair matted to the side of her face, soaked with rain and wiping in the wind.
"I do care, Casey. I care for you so much. Please don't do this." But Casey was passed believing her.
"You don't care." A step.
"I do." Inching forward.
"Every day, I try with you people and just when I feel like I'm finally treading some water instead of drowning, you push me back down." Two steps back. A shake of her head. Her eyes were wild and empty, like she didn't even know where she was. What she was doing.
"Please." Olivia's voice quivered. She was so tired, so scared. "Please."
"I just wanted you to notice," Another step. Just another few inches. "I just wanted someone to notice."
Only the roaring of the wind could be heard as Olivia inched closer to the ADA. Their eyes were locked in an intense stare, but Olivia was aware of every movement that the younger woman made. An inch to the left. A few centimeters back. It was like a twisted game of measurement.
"I noticed." She breathed, praying Casey could hear her. "Every day I noticed, but my heart couldn't take it Casey. I wasn't ready. It was too soon for me to see anything, anyone that wasn't-"
"Alex." Casey sounded so empty, so lost. NYPD trainers teetered against wet cement. She was so far away, and so close to being lost. A fresh sob escaped her and she snapped a hand to her mouth, willing the pain to stay inside. But Casey had held the pain inside for too long. It was all too much.
"Casey, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for hurting you. For being afraid. But I'm not afraid anymore. I'm not afraid." Olivia was so close, just a few more feet and she could reach out and touch her. Just a few more feet and it would all be over, either way.
"I am." The ADA was shaking, whether from the cold or her own emotions, no one could be sure. "I'm so afraid, Olivia."
"Let me protect you." Casey swallowed back another sob. Thunder cracked through the air, mirroring the sound of two hearts breaking.
"Let me love you, Casey." A few more inches and she would have her. A few more inches was all she needed. "Please, just let me be the one to take care of you for once."
Casey crumbled, falling to her knees as if doubled over in pain, and Olivia was there in a flash, holding her fiercely. She latched on to the younger woman and together they fell back on the damp cement of the roof top, both crying and shaking. Casey buried her face into the warmth of Olivia's neck and it was all the detective could do not to die from the bitter sweetness of it all.
She couldn't believe that she'd let her own fear hurt another person like that, someone she claimed to love. It had taken Casey going to the edge to finally make her realize how long ago she herself had toppled over it. In the moment, Olivia anchored Casey, holding her, protecting her, but it was truly the lawyer who had saved her. Who had brought her back from the edge of losing it all.
Together, they could walk the line without falling. Together, they would be okay.
Return to Law & Order: SVU Fiction
Return to Main Page