DISCLAIMER: All the characters and locations belong to Showtime and Ilene Chaiken. I am merely taking them out for a quick polish.
SERIES/SEQUEL: This is the sixth part of the WeHo Days series.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
WeHo Days
The Long Night of Whatever
By halfofone
"Oh fuck!"
A resonant chuckle accompanied Helena's gasp.
"You like?"
"Oh fuck I like," Helena whimpered and arched against the body holding her.
"That's good to know." Her lover loosened her grasp on Helena's wrists and bent to kiss down the side of her neck. Soft hair flowed over her shoulders. Helena drew a deeper breath as the kisses turned fierce and sharp teeth marked the smooth skin of shoulder. Warm lips moved over her throat.
She wanted to remember this, remember every detail but Helena couldn't focus, the sensations blurred and blended: the press of stiffened nipples pushing into her; soft curves and firm muscles yielding under her fingers; an expensive warm scent that she couldn't place drifting, eddying and mingling with the rising aroma of mutual desire; rising pressure within her, building from the gentle friction of sweat-slicked limbs sliding against her own and the scrape of fingernails down her back and over her buttocks; the shocking coldness as the night air flowed over newly exposed super-heated skin, filling the space left by her lover as she kissed and licked her skin on an inexorable journey down her straining body; and through it all a shining thread of fear twined about her in the dark - she was being taken and her weakness made her want to cry and resist but her nervous system would not obey, instead her legs parted helplessly.
"So ready for me," whispered her lover pulling away to stare down at her. Helena could not see her face in the dark shadow but she could hear the smile in the other woman's voice and knew that her own need must be embarrassingly obvious. Long strong fingers, the subjects of many fantasies, answered that need, slipping easily inside her as Helena cried out. Just as easily the fingers slipped out. Helena groaned and turned her face into the smooth muscle of her tormentor's arm.
"Just fuck me."
Fingertips trailed over Helena's lips.
"Taste first. Taste us."
Helena took two fingers into her mouth and slowly sucked the sweet bitterness from them before gently removing her lover's hand and pushing it downwards.
"I love you. Don't make me wait any longer."
Her dark angel laughed and bent to kiss her mouth, capturing Helena's gasp of pleasure as two fingers re-entered the wet heat and pressed inside. Helena clung to strong shoulders, returning the heated kiss until she could no longer, and her head went back on the pillow. Her hips rose in counterpoint to the insistent thrusts, she cried out her name, pleading for more, for completion. There was a ringing noise in her ears and the bed seemed to be shaking...
"Helena! For fucks sake would you wake up? The telephone has been ringing for ages."
"Jesus!" exclaimed the Briton, her eyes popping open.
"I've certainly heard his name a few times in the last ten minutes," smirked Leigh who was sitting up in bed beside her proffering the still ringing phone.
Helena stared at her in confusion.
"Just answer the phone. I'll make some tea."
Helena took it and pressed the answer key. Leigh cast off the covers and was already walking towards the kitchen when Helena answered.
"Hello..." she uttered hoarsely still hovering between arousal and sleep.
"Christ Helena, I thought you were never going to answer."
"Bette! I'm sorry...I was...I..."
"Never mind. I have a situation here. Angelica's not too well. It's not serious and the doctor's seen her but I need to get some supplies and I can't leave her. Can you pick them up for me and bring them by as soon as possible."
"Certainly. What do you need?"
Helena rolled on her side, flipped on the bedside lamp and grabbed a pen and an old envelope from her bedside. She listed Bette's very precise requirements and then swung her long legs out of bed.
"Thirty minutes Bette and don't worry." She replaced the phone in its carrier and started to dress. Leigh Ostin, still naked, leaned against the door to the kitchen watching her.
"Bette as in Porter?"
"Yes. You know her don't you?" Helena realised that Leigh was not looking too happy. "Her daughter's not well and I'm just going to take some stuff over..."
"Bette as in 'Oh God! Fuck me Bette!' Porter."
"What?" Helena's head snapped up.
"You called her name in your sleep," Leigh said baldly. "It certainly puts our earlier activities in context."
"Leigh I'm sorry I can't really talk about this now."
"Because you have to go pick up groceries at three in the morning. You sure know how to show a girl a great time Helena."
"Leigh I'm really really sorry. I promise I'll make it up to you."
Leigh shook her head disbelievingly. "I wasn't expecting grand passion Hel but at least your full attention for a few hours. And why is the incomparable Porter requiring your presence? Are you together now because you never mentioned it?"
"No. Not at all. It's nothing like that. It's just I'm the only lesbian mother she knows apart from her ex. New mothers...you know..."
Leigh was in no mood to make this any easier. "No I don't actually," she snapped. Helena shrugged and looked so guilty that Leigh regained a little of her humour and suddenly grinned at her.
"So you were dreaming about colic remedies and diapers then? Perhaps you were dreaming that you had the colic. Might explain all the grunting and twitching."
Helena blushed to the roots of her hair. "I...wasn't aware...Oh shut up Leigh. Look I'll buy you breakfast okay? This won't take long."
Leigh flopped back on the bed. "I'm going back to sleep and dream - maybe I'll get as lucky as you. See you for breakfast."
"It won't be that long."
"Whatever," Leigh mumbled as she snuggled back under the comforter.
Helena let herself out of her apartment and shivered in the chill early morning air. Her little car wasn't much warmer. She leaned up, switched on the internal light and glared at her dishevelled hair in the rear-view mirror. 'What am I doing?' she wondered. Her body hummed with unsatisfied desire and her dream was still vivid in her mind thanks to the violent awakening. 'Five more minutes,' she grumbled. 'That's all I needed. Now I'll be wandering around all day thinking about it. Oh God poor Leigh - I'm really not fit for human company. Perhaps I should get a dog.'
She had been slightly surprised when Leigh accepted her invitation to come home with her for a night-cap. They had had a pleasant evening together, Helena walked Leigh to her car, kissed her goodnight and then more from politeness than any real inclination had asked her back to her apartment. Leigh accepted immediately. Three drinks later they were sitting beside each other on the floor of the living room in Helena's tiny condo, leaning against her couch. Helena was thinking melancholy thoughts about her life and Bette and Leigh was talking about her ex whom Leigh still loved even though the ex had long ago moved on and in with the 'other' woman; both women were feeling their drinks on top of the alchohol they had consumed at dinner.
"We shouldn't let them do this to us," Leigh declared angrily. "I know you're still hankering after that manipulative straight girl and me, well I am just as pathetic."
For a moment, Helena couldn't understand what Leigh was talking about. Not even Bette's worst enemy would describe her as straight and then she realised that Leigh was thinking of Dylan. Helena nearly laughed out loud. She hadn't thought about Dylan in weeks. Now she was thinking about her it was strange to realise that the shattering pain of betrayal and loss that Helena had feared would never go away had dissolved completely leaving just a small residue of anger. Helena was over her even if it was at a cost.
"I am not going to spend another night moping over her," Leigh said as she leaned over to kiss Helena on the mouth. They both looked startled. "Is this okay?" Leigh asked uncertainly when Helena had said nothing for what seemed like hours. Helena smiled slightly as she allowed herself to notice how attractive Leigh was. The Briton was almost grateful when her body began to respond normally to the other woman's closeness - she needed this she argued - it had not been a good day.
Helena returned the kiss and Leigh's lips parted against hers and for a few minutes they kissed gently, exploring each other, testing this new frontier. Then Helena took control.
When Leigh finally collapsed on top of her boneless and exhausted, Helena held her tight and whispered in her ear, telling her how beautiful she was and how fine and good making love had been. Leigh finally raised her head from Helena's shoulder to look into smiling green-gray eyes.
"Was that better than moping Ms Ostin?" Helena inquired innocently.
Leigh began to laugh. "I don't know. What do you think? Should I stroke your ego and tell you it was fucking mind-blowing? Or should I stroke something else?" Leigh's expression darkened with lust and she moved to kiss Helena. The Briton held her away.
"Actually I'm rather tired...I mean I don't really need..."
Leigh pushed herself up to support her weight on her arms as she gazed curiously at the woman lying underneath her. "Helena what's wrong? Don't tell me you're some kind of stone butch." Leigh laughed and then looked embarrassed when Helena didn't reply.
How do you explain politely to someone whom you have just fucked senseless that you don't want to surrender in her arms because she's not the one you really want without making her feel like a slut and an inadequate one at that and making you sound like some prissy love-struck teenager. She really did like Leigh and loving her had been wonderful but for reasons that not even Helena could get her head around she did not want Leigh to make love to her. It was fucked up. Stupid and fucked up.
"No...I just...don't...feel..."
Leigh turned away and sat up in the bed.
"It's okay. You don't have to explain."
Leigh's obvious hurt propelled Helena to action. She sat up and wrapped her arms around the other woman, pressing herself into her naked back. Leigh struggled slightly but Helena tightened her hold and dropped small kisses on her shoulders and neck between whispered promises.
"I feel more like this."
Helena reached around Leigh's slender body with one hand, running her fingers over the artist's smooth pale skin until she reached the firm swell of her breasts and unerringly traced a path to the tight puckered nipple and pinched it. Leigh gasped and jerked in her arms. Helena continued to massage and squeeze, soft and hard, all the while easing a now unresisting Leigh back onto the bed.
Afterwards Leigh had fallen asleep, her naked form still spooned within Helena's embrace. It had been some time before Helena had risked detaching herself then she had fallen asleep too.
'And then what do you do?' said Helena to her image in the car mirror, 'Dream about Bette. How great is that Helena? You have a really nice woman in your bed who wants to sex you up and instead you'd rather have wet dreams about someone who regards you as little more than what?' Helena exhaled heavily and stared at her mirror image quizzically. She really did not know how Bette thought about her. 'A friend?' suggested the mirror. Helena shook her head. 'Not really a friend...she orders me about as though she were my older sister. Perhaps she is Mummy's love child after all...in spirit at least. God I hope not.' Helena grinned at her reflection. That would be just too damn soapy.
Fifty minutes, four convenience stores and an all-night drug-store later, Helena parked on Bette's driveway and staggered to the front door carrying three bags of groceries, stumbling in the dark and cursing Bette for not putting on the outside lights.
"You're late," said Bette as she opened the door. The room lights behind Bette flared in Helena's eyes and she couldn't see Bette's expression but Ms Porter did not sound happy.
"Just thank me later Bette," Helena snapped, dumping the bags on the floor just inside the front door and turned to go. Bette caught Helena's hand and held her back.
Bette sighed and ran her other hand through her hair. "I'm sorry Helena. It's been a long night."
"Yes. Well me too," Helena replied haughtily not quite ready to forgive her but not pulling her hand away either.
"Would you like a coffee."
"It's okay Bette. I think I'll just go home to bed."
"I could do with the company for a little while."
Bette squeezed her hand. Helena glanced down at Bette's fingers enclosing her own. Reluctantly her gaze wandered up a slim strong arm, over slender and muscled upper arms to a finely sculpted shoulder; Helena's pulse accelerated and her mouth went dry as she took in the somewhat overwhelming realisation that Bette was clad only in a white tank-top and pajamas. Helena's dream was still hanging about in her consciousness like a party crasher who won't leave and she was teetering on the edge of arousal. It was a a little hard to disassociate herself from the reality of Bette Porter standing inches from her, barefoot in pajamas.
She gently tugged her hand from Bette's fingers.
"All right but I can't stay long, I have a guest."
Bette grinned at her. "Really? Do I know her? You should have said something."
"I don't remember you drawing breath or offering to listen."
"I could have called Alice..."
"From the other side of town...No it's alright Bette. How is Angelica?"
"Grumpy - she's quiet at the moment but it probably won't last."
"What's wrong."
"The doctor thinks it might be chicken pox."
"Poor Angie. I'm surprised Tina's not here already."
"She can't. She never had chicken pox as a child. The doctor told her to stay away."
"She won't like that."
Bette shrugged and headed for the kitchen. As she walked away Helena's pleasure in watching Bette's retreating back was cut nastily short and her stomach felt as though it had just taken a sucker punch from Muhammed Ali. Three long parallel scratches scarred the perfect surface of Bette's left shoulder.
Helena put a hand on the door frame to steady herself and tried to breathe as the jealous blood rushed away from her brain as though trying to leave the source of distress behind. She swayed slightly and it was quite hard to get to a chair.
A few minutes later Bette returned with two large cups of coffee.
'Fuck you Bette Porter,' thought Helena furiously as she smiled graciously at Bette and took her coffee. 'How dare you stand there looking serene and well-fucked when I'm a seething mess of unsatisfied arousal?'
At that moment Angelica announced her presence. Bette stood up wearily. "Have you had chicken pox?" she asked frowning slightly. Helena stood too.
"I've had everything and more. At boarding school there were annual plagues: regiments of little girls all scratching and moaning. I'll get her Bette - you look shattered."
Bette subsided gratefully back into her chair.
When Helena entered the nursery Angelica was standing in her cot yelling.
"Hey Angelica," Helena greeted her cheerfully. Angelica's serious little face unscrunched for a moment in surprise that this was not her Momma B or her Momma T or Mister Scratchy Face. Then the baby remembered that she was feeling bad and someone had to do something now! Helena scrunched her face up in sympathy and picked up the little girl, cooing in her ear and rocking her. She carried her through to Bette.
"Not a happy little soldier. It's okay Bette - I'll take this shift. Drink your coffee." Helena walked up and down rocking the crying baby. The cries gradually subsided to whimpers.
"You haven't told me who's waiting for you at home," Bette raised her eyebrows inquisitorially. Helena paused and stared back at Bette, trying to assess if Bette was anything other than curious. Observational results were inconclusive. Bette's expression revealed nothing except polite interest and if her body language was a little tense then that could just be tiredness.
"Leigh Ostin," Helena said bluntly and resumed walking and rocking.
"Oh," said Bette clearly taken aback. Helena didn't give her time to get any further questions in.
"You look as though you've had some action yourself. Very recently I would say."
"What?"
"Your shoulder blade - difficult to self-inflict marks like that so I guess you had help. Do I know her?" Helena knew she was sounding possessive but Bette was not very observant apparently. She was smiling at nothing with a shy softness that Helena had never seen before.
"I don't think you've met her yet. She's a new artist in residence..."
A red-hot spear of pure jealousy twisted through Helena's guts. She wasn't even aware that Bette could look like that except with Angelica.
"...not the woman who made you so angry a couple of weeks ago. I thought you said she was a self-righteous, pain in the arse." Helena remembered picking Bette up from a lunch time meeting and having to listen to the Dean of Arts rage about the stupidity and ingratitude of artists in general and Jody Lerner in particular.
Bette laughed.
"Yep. One and the same. Jody is an amazing artist and an amazing woman. We've only had a couple of dates but they've been great - eventually anyway - I had forgotten how good dating can be. She's just totally fearless, wonderful to be with and I find her..."
"...amazing. You said. And obviously she's not afraid of you. Taking you from the edge of apoplexy to feverish passion in ten days. Wow...that's quick work." Her voice breaking up, Helena hid her face against Angelica and mumbled nonsense in the toddler's ear. Magically Angelica stopped crying.
"Hmmm. You have the knack with her," Bette admired quietly. Helena sat down on the couch still gently rocking a suddenly sleepy Angelica. After a few moments of silence Helena looked up to find Bette watching her with Angelica and looking somewhat perplexed.
"Jody doesn't really like kids," Bette said abruptly. "I mean she left tonight when Angie started to fuss."
"She's probably just not used to them. I mean who could resist Angelica?" Helena bit her lip. What was she doing? She should tell Bette to run away from the mean witch and look for someone who could love Angelica as much as she did. "Of course she may not understand that Angelica is your priority." That was better.
Bette smiled wistfully. "Somehow I never expected to be one of those people who scares partners away because I have a kid in tow. It wasn't in my game plan."
"No-one expects to be a 'divorced' parent Bette. I know I didn't though looking back it must have been obvious that Winnie and I would split."
"How are Wilson and Jun Ying? When are they next coming to see you?"
Helena stifled a growl. This was an open-wound yet Helena kept her voice low and soothing for Angelica's benefit despite the rush of anger she felt remembering her most recent conversation with her ex.
"They're both great but I don't know when I'm going to see them again. Winnie called yesterday. The bitch has decided that since my fortunes have taken a downturn, the environment here is not good enough for the children. So I have an open invitation to visit in New York but she doesn't want them staying with me in a one-room apartment and, as she put it, a coterie of corrupting drug-addled west-coast movie people."
"Ouch."
"Yes of course drug-addled east-coast theatre people aren't in the least corrupting." Helena felt the tears beginning to rise. Everything in her life was such a fucking disaster.
Bette rose from her chair and gracefully sat down next to Helena and put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her lightly into an embrace.
"S'okay Helena. It'll work out. You should talk to Peggy - after all she holds Winnie's purse strings."
Helena had seen Bette hug her friends a hundred times. It meant nothing beyond a simple gesture of comfort. She knew that but her body didn't. If she didn't move now she would have no option but to turn her head a last few inches and kiss the beautiful neck. She had to go. 'Not yet' she screamed inwardly, 'just stay where you are Helena, let her hold you for a little longer - a temporary heaven in hell - don't ruin it by wanting more'.
Bette dropped a small kiss on top of her head and that was too much for Helena. She pulled away and sat up.
"I have to go Bette. Leigh will wonder what's happened."
"Is that serious?" Bette asked as Helena gently transfered Angelica to her mother's arms.
"No," said Helena standing up, not wanting further discussion. She only wanted to get away before she made a fool of herself. "I'll let myself out."
"Okay and thank you Helena for the groceries and for helping with Angelica." Bette squeezed her hand and smiled up at her. And for the first time Helena could see there was no reservation or hint of distrust in Bette's beautiful dark eyes just friendly affection. It was almost unbearable.
"Anytime."
Helena all but ran to the front door. She closed it behind her quietly. It was light outside - she should get back for Leigh but something made her turn her car in the opposite direction from her apartment.
Twenty minutes later she pulled up outside the apartments owned by Shaolin. Standing outside the door of Tina's apartment she hesitated before ringing the door bell. It was several minutes before Tina answered the door and she didn't look very happy. No-one in the Porter-Kennard family was happy tonight it seemed.
"Helena do you know what time it is?"
"Sorry...I just need to talk to someone..."
Tina stopped looking angry. "Are you okay?"
"No." Helena fought back the overwhelming need to cry as Tina stood aside and led her inside.
"Sit there and I'll make us both coffee."
"Not for me. My stomach can't take it. I'll be sick."
Tina abandoned the coffee plan and sat down opposite. "What's happened?"
Helena blurted "Winnie's trying to stop me seeing my children and Bette's dating someone."
Tina went white.
"Fuck!" was all she said.
"I am such a mess Tina. I've made a mess of everything." Helena slumped forward on her chair and put her head in her hands.
"Who is she fucking?" The ice splinters in Tina's voice penetrated even Helena's coat of self-pity.
"You mean Bette?"
Tina rolled her eyes.
"Okay I guess that was a stupid question. I mean why would you care about Winnie. Bette's seeing some artist at the University. I haven't met her yet; she's amazing apparently." Helena's laugh sounded hysterical even to her own ears.
Tina curled her lip in an angry sneer. "What is it with Bette and artists - before she met me she'd slept her way through several entire artistic movements - only the women of course."
"Uh Tina?"
"I knew this day would come, Bette's not going to get left on the shelf is she? I suppose they're all falling over the hot new Dean of Arts: students, teachers, parents, every fucking woman who lays eyes on her."
"Are you jealous of Bette?"
"Helena why would it make me jealous that the woman who swore she would be mine forever is fucking every female in southern California who can lift a paintbrush or a hammer."
"Well why would it make you jealous Tina? You left her for a man."
"Of course I left her - she'd have cheated on me again. I wasn't enough for her. No one person is enough for Bette and I couldn't let her hurt me again." The blonde was half-shouting, her pale skin flushed with anger. Helena gaped at her - she'd seen Tina fall apart before but had blamed it on her pregnant hormones but she didn't have that excuse this time. Tina's face crumpled. "It still fucking hurts Helena, why won't it stop? I just want to stop caring about her." Then the blonde was in her arms sobbing as though Bette's betrayal had happened yesterday.
"Shhh. Don't cry. Please." Helena held and stroked her former lover as she in turn grieved anew for the end of her old love. After a few minutes, Tina's helpless weeping began to ebb. Helena hugged her harder and whispered "You know this is utterly ridiculous don't you? I mean I came over here to cry all over you."
Tina snorted damply against her neck. "I know. I'm sorry. Fucking lesbian drama queen."
"Me or you?"
"Me I guess."
"Well I guess I'm glad you still think of yourself as gay. Personally I hate to see anyone drop out of the team."
"You're a good friend Helena," Tina snuffled, wiping her nose on Helena's t-shirt.
"And you Kennard women are determined to ruin my best grocery-buying-at-three-in-the-morning outfit."
"Wha'?"
Helena explained about her emergency call to Bette and Angelica and as she had hoped, talk about Angelica and her ailment effectively distracted Tina.
"I hate not being able to see her while she's ill."
"She'll be fine Tina, Bette is completely on top of it. She would move mountains for that child."
"I know she's an excellent Mom but please let's not talk about Bette any more. Tell me about your problems with Winnie." They had both settled back on the couch, Tina resting in Helena's arms with her head on Helena's shoulder. Helena recounted her parenting woes and Tina listened and gave advice.
By the time Helena left Tina it was nearly seven o'clock. Half an hour driving through the already nightmarish traffic and finally Helena leaned back and stared through rain that was bouncing off the windshield at the apartment block where she lived. The street cleaners were still sweeping the sidewalks but soon they would be gone and the daytime commuters would replace them.
"That was a hell of a night," she complained to herself. 'I hope Leigh has gone home so I can get some rest. No more drama for me tonight.' Then she remembered that Leigh had left her car on the far side of the road. It was still there. 'Damn' Helena muttered. 'She's going to hate me. it's not enough that I'm going bankrupt, my ex-wife is stealing the children and I'm in love with a woman who hardly notices me, is dating other women and the love of her life now wants her back. None of that's enough, no I have to go and process my deviant behaviour with an angry dyke.'
"Oh fucking whatever!" she yelled at the falling rain as she exited the car and slammed the door and ran for cover.
The End