DISCLAIMER: Gossip Girl and its characters are the property of Cecily von Ziegesar and Warner Bros. No infringement intended.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: For ralst, who prompted with the "the future."
CHALLENGE: Written for the first International Day of Femslash.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
"You think this'll be us in 20 years? Onto our fourth husbands?
Blair opens her eyes, and the first thing she sees is her wedding dress. She had purposely hung it up the night before on the back of her closet door, directly across from the bed.
She's getting married today.
Her phone rings, and she tries to blink away the sleep as she reaches blindly for the annoyingly loud object.
"Blair! Are you sleeping? How can you be sleeping? It's your wedding day!"
Blair smiles affectionately into the phone, trying to hold back a yawn. "Yes, I am aware of that, S. Thanks for the reminder, though. Are you here?"
"On my way up."
The door to Blair's bedroom flies open ten seconds later, and Serena bursts into the room. Her grin is wide as she takes in the sight of Blair, still lying in bed, and Blair can't help but smile back.
"Get up, sleepy head!" Serena tries to look commanding, her hands on her hips and a scowl on her face. There's still a sparkle behind those bright blue eyes, though, and Blair isn't quite ready to get out of bed yet.
"But it's still early," she complains, not bothering to suppress her yawn this time. "C'mere."
Blair stretches out her hand over the top of the silk sheets, palm up, and wiggles her fingers until Serena comes further into the room, flopping down onto the bed and taking hold of the offered hand.
Serena snuggles up against her, and Blair sighs contentedly, allowing her eyes to drift shut once again.
"Last night I dreamt that we were back in high school," Blair murmurs softly. "It was the day that your mother married Bart Bass."
Giggling, Serena props herself up on one elbow. "Really? Man, that was a crazy day. Well try to last longer than the two of them did, okay?"
"Mmm, we'll see if the third time's the charm, for me. But marriage number two didn't last as long as number one, so if I continue with that trend, then number three may be out of luck." Blair smirks, mostly joking.
"Blair!" Serena exclaims, laughing. "You can't talk like that on your wedding day! What would Michael say if I told him his bride-to-be was already prepared to throw him away? Besides, you're moving beyond the Upper East Side boys, so I have high hopes for you this time. But since you're the one that brought it up, now I get to ask -- What was the final verdict from husbands one and two? Are they going to show up?"
Blair rolls her eyes. "God, the two of them have been such pains about all this. Nate will be here, but Chuck won't. According to Francesca, her father would 'love to be here,' but is 'stuck in London, dealing with a very important client.'"
Meaning he was too busy sleeping with half of London, most likely.
"Wait, what do you mean, 'according to Francesca'? I thought you'd spoken to Chuck yourself."
"No, not recently. He's still being a little bitch about the fact that I got the house in the Hamptons from the divorce, so he's forcing our poor daughter to serve as the liaison between us."
"What about you?" Blair continues after a moment. "Who'd you end up bringing as your date?"
Serena sighs. "I didn't bring anyone, actually. It's so soon after the divorce got finalized... I thought it'd be best if I just fulfilled my duties as maid-of-honor and danced with the best man a few times. That way no one can start calling me a slut again for having a new boyfriend right after I got rid of my second husband."
Blair snorts. "Just be careful around Steve. 'Best man' isn't exactly the greatest title for him, since he has a tendency to let his hands roam a bit too much when he's been drinking."
"Hmm, thanks for the warning."
The room lapses into silence, as Serena settles against Blair once again. Blair runs her hand absently through Serena's thick mane of hair. She knows that she should get up. It's her wedding day, after all, and there are a million and a half things to do. Still, there are other people to do those things for her, and she'd rather lie here with Serena.
Maybe a minute passes, and then Serena is moving again. Serena has never been good at keeping still for very long.
"Well, I was sent up here to fetch you," she explains, "so I'll head down to check on things, but I expect you to meet me down there soon, okay?"'
Blair nods, receiving a soft kiss on the cheek before Serena bounds out of the room once again.
Half an hour later, Blair finally makes her way downstairs. No one notices her at first, as they're all too busy with the barely controlled chaos of preparations.
Serena is talking with Nate, a concerned frown etched onto her face, but the still-flawless skin smoothes out into a smile when she looks up, and her eyes land on Blair. Nate turns around as well when he notices the shift in Serena's gaze. He smiles at Blair, but appears nervous.
Blair hardly glances at her first ex-husband, though; it's Serena who steals all her attention. The blonde is just as gorgeous as she's always been, barely looking a day over thirty. Blair used to be jealous about the way everyone seemed so entranced with Serena's beauty, but she's found herself reacting the same way, so she can't exactly blame them.
Serena and Nate make their way over to her, as she stands at the foot of the stairs.
"Hello, Blair." Nate dutifully kisses her on the cheek. "How-"
"Okay, what's wrong?" Blair interrupts whatever small talk Nate was about to attempt. "You look like you're afraid of me. So whatever you have to tell me, and you're worried about my reaction, just get it over with."
Nate clears his throat awkwardly. "Um, well. It's just... Jake..."
Blair stiffens, automatically fearing the worst. "What happened? Is he hurt?"
"Nonono, he's fine," Nate assures. "He just...might not make it today."
The last five words are said so quietly that Blair almost doesn't hear him. "What? What do you mean, he 'might not make it'?! Where the hell is he? He was supposed to come with you today!"
Blair's hand has tightened into a fist, but Serena reaches down to straighten out her fingers, rubbing a soothing thumb over her palm.
Nate runs an anxious hand through his hair before explaining, "Yeah, well, he was originally supposed to get in from school last night, but there was some event that he wanted to go to, so we changed the reservation to this morning. I got a call from him twenty minutes ago, though, and it seems that he missed the train."
Blair groans in frustration. "I'm not supposed to have deal with shit like this today! Someone get me my phone."
Nate is only too happy to go retrieve her cell phone and then leave her alone. Blair dials the number, only vaguely aware of Serena rubbing her tense shoulders as she waits for him to pick up.
"Hey, this is Jake."
"Nathaniel Jacob Archibald! Would you care to explain to me why you are not in my house right this second?"
"Jeeze, Mom, no need to yell. Didn't Dad tell you? I missed my train, and the next one has no more room in first class. Besides, who cares if I'm not there? You'll probably have another wedding for me to go to within a year or so."
Blair can easily hear the insolence in her son's voice. If he were there she wouldn't have hesitated a second before smacking him upside the head. She takes a deep breath before continuing, "I don't care how you do it, but you will be here in two hours, at the absolute latest. You will find another train, or you will borrow a friend's car, or you will take a goddamned bus, for all I care, but you will be here. If you're not, then I won't let you go to Italy with the soccer team next year."
She hangs up the phone before he can protest and then reaches up to rub at her temples, hoping to get rid of the threat of an oncoming headache.
So much for an easy, carefree day.
Serena takes one of her hands again and gently cups Blair's chin, bringing their eyes together. "Don't worry, I'm sure he'll be here. Now why don't you just head back upstairs? You don't really need to be down here, after all, so I'll bring you up some breakfast, and then we'll work on getting you ready, okay?"
Serena's eyes are so comforting that Blair just wants to bury herself inside them. She sighs. "Okay."
Time moves quickly after that, until it's only an hour before she's supposed to walk down the aisle. She's now dressed in her wedding gown (a new Eleanor Waldorf creation, designed specifically for Blair), her hair is swept up in an elegant twist, and her make-up is impeccably done. She eyes herself in the full-length mirror. Everything is just the way she wanted it, but it still feels wrong, somehow. Something is wrong, but Blair can't quite put her finger on what it is.
Serena comes up behind her, wrapping her arms around Blair's waist and leaning her chin on Blair's shoulder.
"It's beautiful. You're beautiful," Serena murmurs softly.
Blair's eyes meet Serena's in the mirror, and they simply gaze at one another. Her hand aches, wanting to reach up and behind her, to bury her fingers in Serena's hair. Instead, she grips her own hand tightly, stopping herself from doing something she shouldn't.
Serena's face is so close to her own; it would be so easy to simply turn her face a little to the side and just... But no. Blair continues looking straight ahead.
"What am I doing, S?" she finally whispers in return.
"You're getting married," is the simple response.
Serena is still wrapped around her, as Blair takes in a shuddering breath. She closes her eyes against the image of her and Serena; they look too good together.
After a few moments, Blair opens her eyes again to find that Serena's gaze hasn't moved. Their eyes remain locked together.
Yes, Blair is getting married. To the wrong person. She's found three wrong people so far, and she wonders how many more it will take before she accepts the fact that no man out there is right.
Blair's already found the one for her. She's just too much of a coward to say so.
Serena opens her eyes, and the first thing she sees is Blair.
She smiles sleepily at the figure in the doorway to her bedroom and tries to wipe the sleep from her eyes. When her gaze is a little clearer and she focuses again on Blair, she can easily see that her best friend is upset.
"B, are you okay? C'mere." She tilts her head, beckoning Blair over to the bed.
Serena is never sorry for Blair's impromptu visits, but she can tell that Blair isn't just here because she felt like watching some Audrey Hepburn.
Blair crawls onto Serena's bed, lying down on her side, and Serena automatically turns to mirror the position, with her arm draping loosely over Blair's waist.
"I had this really weird dream last night. It was horrible."
Serena frowns with concern and starts to soothingly run her thumb over Blair's hip. "What happened?"
"I was getting married."
At this pronouncement, said like it's the worst thing that could have happened, Serena can't help but burst into a short spurt of laughter. "Oh, how horrible," she exclaims sarcastically. "You've only been planning your wedding day since you were seven years old, Blair."
But Blair still looks so serious, so intense. "You don't understand, S. It was my third wedding, and everything felt wrong about it, and my own son didn't even want to come, and I wasn't happy, and I..."
Blair's voice trails off and she tries to look away, to shift away from Serena's touch, but Serena reaches out instinctively, cupping Blair's chin in her hand and keeping their eyes on each other. When she's sure that Blair isn't going to run away, her hand returns to its place on Blair's hip.
"And what?" Serena whispers.
Her eyes sweep across Blair's face. Blair is always so beautiful -- so much more beautiful than the brunette gives herself credit for -- and Serena thinks that she will never get tired of simply looking at her. Still, the pain in Blair's eyes makes Serena's heart ache, and she just wishes she could make it go away, wishes she could always make Blair happy.
"And I wanted...I just wanted to... But I couldn't."
Serena's heart beats faster, because Blair is looking at her in a way that she never has before, and Serena isn't sure what it means, but she knows that whatever it is, whatever's going on, it's big.
She swallows, finding her throat suddenly dry. "What did you want, B? What couldn't you do?" she asks, trying desperately to put the pieces together.
Serena's question is met with a long silence, though, until Serena thinks that Blair really isn't going to explain any further.
"This." Blair's murmured response is just a single word, but before Serena can vocalize her continued confusion, Blair leans just a little bit forward and presses their lips together.
The kiss is short, and soft, and chaste, but Serena's eyes instantly flutter shut, and her grip on Blair tightens.
Serena opens her eyes, and all she sees is Blair.
Blair is simply looking at her again, and the pain is still there, but with the new additions of fear and panic, and maybe just the slightest bit of hope.
Serena's face breaks into a wide smile, though. "God, B. Do you know how long I've been waiting for you to do that?"
Blair's eyes widen in surprise, but before she can say anything else, Serena pulls the brunette tight against her and captures Blair's lips with her own. There's no mistaking the kiss for chaste this time, as their mouths move firmly against each other, and Blair's hand snakes its way into Serena's hair. Serena wonders idly if now she's the one who's dreaming.
Serena doesn't know how long they stay like that, pressed together and wrapped in each other's arms, but when they finally pull apart, they're both smiling this time. She reaches out, wonderingly brushing her fingers across Blair's lips.
"It felt so real," Blair murmurs.
Serena's mind is up in the clouds, and it takes her a moment to figure out what Blair is talking about. "Your dream?" she asks.
"Yeah," Blair clarifies. "I mean, we were probably twenty years older or something, but I can still picture exactly what we all looked like, and there was this whole detailed back-story about our various ex-husbands, and soon-to-be-husbands, and children, and..."
Blair pauses. Some of that pain is creeping back into Blair's eyes, and Serena wants nothing more than to just kiss it all away, but she stays still, allowing Blair to continue.
"I was unhappy. And I knew that I was unhappy, but it was like I was just unwilling to do anything about it, you know? It was like...being unhappy felt almost natural, in a way." A small, hesitant smile spreads across Blair's face, though, as she finishes, "You made me happy, though. You were always looking out for me. I think you were the only one."
"I will always look out for you, Blair." Serena gazes earnestly at her best friend. "So there'll be none of this 'getting married three times' and 'being unhappy' crap, okay? I have no desire for either of us to turn into my mother."
Blair nods, a smile on her face, and suddenly the air feels lighter. Serena grins, pulling Blair into a warm embrace.
Things are more complicated between them, now, but figuring it all out can wait for a little while.
That night, Blair falls asleep with Serena's arms wrapped tightly around her.
Blair closes her eyes, and this time she dreams of swimming freely in the ocean, a perfect match for the color of Serena's eyes.
Return to Gossip Girl Fiction
Return to Main Page