DISCLAIMER: Criminal Minds and its characters are the property of CBS. No infringement intended.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
SPOILERS: 3x19 The Crossing
Wedding Dress
By gilligankane
The room is quiet, loneliness surrounding the both of them, as they lie in complete darkness, staring at the shadows on the ceiling. The city is on fire tonight, and they are content to lay there, oblivious to the obvious things tomorrow holds.
Tomorrow, JJ is going to be married.
Tomorrow, Emily knows her life is going to become worthless.
Neither of them can do a thing to stop it.
In the morning, when JJ wakes up, she'll look to her left and notice that Emily is already gone, leaving no note behind or no evidence that she was even in the apartment the night before. (She's always been very careful that way.) The coffee will be made and the newspaper will have that "just read" look to it, but that's always explainable, always easy to get around.
Will has his head wrapped in a cloud of dense fog, which is why he can't see past JJ's lies. That, or he just doesn't want to know the truth.
In the morning, JJ will open the door for a very excited Garcia and a melancholy Emily (who will pretend she hasn't seen the blonde in a week), and let them get her ready for "the greatest day of her life."
But right now, she's wrapped up in Emily's arms, making plans for days that they'll never have together.
Tomorrow, JJ is going to be married.
Tomorrow, Emily knows her life is going to become worthless.
Neither of them can do a thing to stop it.
"Can we spend forever together?" The question is whispered softly into brunette hair, but the only response is Emily gripping JJ's waist tighter, pulling them together like pieces of a puzzle, so perfectly.
"We could get away from here, just get in the car and drive until we run out of gas. Whadda think?" JJ shifts in warm arms and stares up into amber eyes. Emily's look of desperation is heartbreaking, but the brunette smiles slowly and nods.
"Where would we go?" JJ has to really think about this, wanting to give the perfect answer. She has always asked questions like this – questions that she has no business asking – but this is the first time Emily has ever responded, ever agreed to indulge in JJ's fantasy world.
JJ knows its because after tonight, she will never ask Emily this question again. She'll never be in the position to ask Emily to run away with her. So she's going to make the most of it.
"Well," JJ racks her brain. "Where do you want to go?"
She knows that Emily is letting down so many walls, letting her heart be exposed and torn up and shred into tiny little pieces.
"Pennsylvania."
"You want to go to Pennsylvania? I offered you anywhere in the world, and you chose Pennsylvania?" The mist of breath on her forehead tells her that Emily is chuckling softly.
"I've been all around the world, traveled everywhere. I'd rather be wrapped up somewhere with you, in some eastbackwards town in Pennsylvania, someplace I've never been before." Emily's hands dance across her skin, moving up her side and back down her stomach. JJ just holds the other Agent against her tighter; wishing this moment would never, never end.
Tomorrow, JJ is going to be married.
Tomorrow, Emily knows her life is going to become worthless.
Neither of them can do a thing to stop it.
"We can live there forever, if you want to." JJ feels like a five-year-old girl, lying in bed, planning her future: the falling in love, the dream wedding, the 2.3 kids and the white picket fence. Across the room, the shadows move over the wedding dress wrapped in white plastic. It's going to be the perfect wedding everyone tells her.
She knows it won't be, because she's marrying him. He's not the perfect man. It's not the perfect dress. It won't be the perfect wedding. It can't be, she tells herself frantically.
"Forever huh?" JJ is pulled out of her head into real life; into her bed; into Emily's arms. "That's an awfully long time. I'm not sure if you could stand me that long."
JJ suddenly tenses, turning and twisting to look Emily in the eyes, trying to convey her message, her feelings. "I could stand you forever. Forever an a day," is her promise in a whisper. "I could stand you until the day I die, and even beyond that."
The silence is deafening, settling over them heavily with promises that neither of them can really make. But JJ is content to lay here and soak up the heaven-sent words, to imagine for a moment, everything is okay.
"Promise?" Emily's voice is small, hopeful.
"Forever and a day," JJ repeats reassuringly, shifting the covers over them, to shut them in for the night.
Tomorrow, JJ is going to be married.
Tomorrow, Emily knows her life is going to become worthless.
Neither of them can do a thing to stop it.
She knows she shouldn't do this. Emily needs to be going soon. Morning is right around the corner, and with the morning brings her promise to another person. Morning is going to bring a bubbly best friend and a withdrawn could-have-been lover. Morning is going to bring that wedding dress in the corner.
It's JJ's fault. She pushed Emily away and pulled Will closer. She thought she lost Emily, but the truth was, she had pushed her away. Far, far away, so far away, she wasn't sure she would have ever gotten her back.
But she did. Only then, it was too late.
Tonight though, even if Emily should be leaving, she isn't. Tonight, they're going to lie in bed and promise each other everything, knowing that nothing will ever come of it. Tonight is all the matters to them.
In the morning, everything will change.
But they have tonight. They have until the morning.
Tomorrow, JJ is going to be married.
Tomorrow, Emily knows her life is going to become worthless.
Neither of them can do a thing to stop it.
But tonight is all that matters.
Tonight, JJ isn't married.
Tonight, Emily knows her entire life has meaning.
Tonight, they can pretend that time is stopped in its place, and they can stop the entire world with one kiss.
Tonight is all that matters until the morning comes.
The End