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SPOILERS: Up to episode 2x18
You Are What You Love
Sometimes it is easy to tell when a cylon hasn't lived among the humans. Years of careful study and meticulous programming have brought them close, but there are still little things that stand out in sharp relief. Not flaws, necessarily, but eccentricities that would have been noticed if only the humans had been able to conceive of a cylon infiltration.
Six does not think that she is as skilled at the art of being human as some of the others seem to think that she is if they had been looking for a cylon, they would have found her. But no one looked any deeper into her than was necessary, and so she had ample time to observe and to acclimate, and now she considers herself something of an expert on human/cylon relations.
Take, for example, Number Three, who wears a scarf and a jacket even in the middle the Caprican summer. It's not as bad as the Sixes who will wear cocktail dresses in the freezing rain, but it's still jarring, the way none of them seems to feel the temperature. If there were a humans left, they would whisper behind her back about her choice in clothing, but none of the cylons seem to notice or care. If Six were put in charge of designing models to be sent into Caprican society, she'd make quite a few changes. The women would be a little less beautiful still pretty enough to entice, but not so perfect as to be intimidating. They would all be a little frailer, and more sensitive to the light and the heat. Lots of little things.
All this trivia is beside the point, though. There aren't a whole lot of humans around to fool these days.
Three is always talking about equality, since the Cylons are determined not to repeat the sins of the human race. There will be no class differences, no murder, no rape. There will be none of the ills that plagued colonial society because the humans were too vicious and jealous towards each other to overcome.
Six isn't sure that she believes this, but she's too much of a coward to bring up the genocide. So she starts a little smaller.
"What about the breeding farms?" asks Six, in the middle of one of their conversations. "Don't those seem I don't know, cruel to you?"
Three gives her a look that makes her feel like she might be insane. "It's necessary. We give them the option to participate peacefully, and they send in their militias in to kill us. I hardly think we're the cruel ones."
Six was going to ask about the rumors of boxing, too. But she sees the suspicion in Three's eyes, and she knows that she's gone too far already.
"We are all equal in the eyes of God," Three often says, "And so we should be equal in the eyes of each other."
Despite what she says, Three always carries herself with a particular air of authority, and she is always the one giving orders to the others. She phrases them as requests, of course. But they are unmistakably orders.
Six thinks that she could handle the orders, but she has begun to notice a certain hardness in Three's eyes that comes when the others call her Caprica Six. She isn't the only Six around, after all. She's only one among thousands, and Three has a way of making it abundantly clear that she could be easily replaced.
Six doesn't really feel like living with that threat hanging over her for the rest of her life, but she doesn't have much of a choice.
It stings when Sharon calls her a liar. It stings, but it's the truth, and after listening to so many of Three's lies and propoganda it's almost enough to make her cry with relief.
And she knows that Sharon isn't like the others she doesn't accept the rationalizations, either, and Six would be willing to bet that she doesn't like to leave the apartment because seeing other copies of herself is to much cognitive dissonance to handle.
Six thinks that if she were to tell Sharon about Gaius, or about the beautiful house on the lake, or about missing the sports stadiums, that Sharon would understand.
Sharon would not think that Six was going insane, or that she should be boxed. And Six thinks that she might love Sharon for that.
"Do you think we can do this?" asks Boomer, as she winds the gauze around the part of Six's arm that is still bleeding from the explosion. "I mean, do you really think we can do this? They're all so different from us. They don't know what it's like, being human. They don't understand love."
The pain in her arm is nothing compared to the crushed and bruised feeling in her ribs, or the way her head is pounding, and for a second Six wishes that she could have a new body. Then she remembers what dying felt like, and she is grateful to be alive, because even the pain must be better than being locked in cold storage until Judgment Day.
"Six?" asks Boomer when Six doesn't respond immediately. She sounds worried, and Six is touched that she cares. It's so nice, to feel cared for.
"They know what love is. They've all been taught to love God, they understand the concept. We can do this."
"Loving God is not the same thing as loving a human being. It's not the same thing as loving each other. We aren't perfect."
"It's close enough," says Six. "It'll have to be."
Six has her doubts, although she does not share them with Sharon.
When she is focused and speaking to a crowd full of wide and adoring eyes, she speaks with an honest conviction. And even if she couldn't muster up the necessary faith in herself, they aren't very difficult to sway - she is the first cylon hero, after all, and they are not used to the power of celebrity. They'd probably kill themselves, if Six asked them too.
That worries her, because it makes her wonder if they really have the dedication to stand against those who believe in the old ways. Or worse, that they could just be opening themselves up to destruction by the humans.
About a month into their campaign, she can't keep it to herself anymore. And so, over their morning coffee, she asks, "Do you think we're doing the right thing?"
"Of course," replies Sharon, a little surprised and confused by the question. "Don't you?"
"How do we know that Three wasn't right? Maybe we are just broken from our experiences. We could just be making things worse," says Six. "The humans might not ever forgive us. They might just keep killing us over and over again, for the rest of time."
"I don't see how we can possibly make things any worse than the Genocide did."
"I know. I just " Six starts to reply, but Sharon reaches over and takes Six's hand in her own and gently interrupts her.
"You aren't broken. Neither of us is broken. Loving something other than God does not make us broken."
Six nods. She likes the feel of Sharon's hand on her own, because it's warm and solid and tangible. It's something she can hold on to, and it helps to drive her lingering doubts away.
"You're right," says Six, as she leans down to kiss Sharon's hand. "We're all going to be fine."
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