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SPOILERS: Season Two.
What Ever Happened to Helena G Wells?
By Athena
Chapter 4
From that point on Helena touched Helen as often as she could; a little caress here and a soft touch there. Sometimes she held her silently, just enjoying the feel of her in her arms. It was on one of those days that Helen took her hand and led her to the exit. Helena raised an eyebrow in question.
"I want to show you something," Helen said and led her out of the enclosure.
Helena looked around the large round room. She instantly spotted all the security features. This place was indeed a fort. Realizing that it would be very hard, and perhaps even impossible to escape from here she followed Helen silently. Helen led her over to another glass window. It looked like it had water behind it. Helena looked at Helen for an explanation. Then she saw movement and took a step back as a woman's face emerged. A woman with a fish's tail. "A mermayde?" she said shocked. "This can't be real. They don't exist."
"Believe it Helena," Helen said and laughed. She put her hand against the glass and the mermaid did the same. Helena watched in fascination as the two seemed to be communicating. Helen looked at her over her shoulder. "Come here," she said. Helena took a cautious step closer. She startled when Helen took her hand and put it against the cold glass. "Listen," she whispered.
Helena had no idea what she had expected to happen, but to hear singing was not one of them. The mermaid sang to her. At first she just listened to the beautiful sound of the song, but after a moment she could make out actual words. The sadness and despair in her voice touched something inside Helena and tears fell from her dark eyes. She was so spellbound by the mermaid she didn't even notice. As Helena's tears fell, the song changed. She could feel hope and joy in the sea creature. She put her other hand against the glass and it too was mirrored from the other side. The song escalated and Helena felt like she was spinning. She felt like she was surrounded by love. She looked into the mermaids clear eyes and finally she understood. When the sea creature disappeared into the opaque water Helena sank to her knees. Helen kneeled next to her, pulling her into a comforting embrace.
After the meeting with the mermaid, Helena started writing again. At first she was using an old-fashioned leather bound journal and her favorite fountain pen, but once Helen realized that her writing was not dangerous, she gave her a computer. Helena was surprised.
"Don't get too excited dear. It doesn't have internet access. It cannot be fiddled with to get access outside of here. Even if you could, the electric shield around this building is impenetrable," Helen explained.
"Thank you for sharing. I would've hated to waste my time for nothing," Helena snapped.
"Just write Helena. You were so happy a moment ago. Don't go down this path," Helen said softly and cupped her cheek. "I'll leave you to it."
Helena didn't answer.
Helen stepped through the exit, and almost missed the softly spoken words.
"Will I see you for dinner?" Helena asked softly.
"Of course," Helen said with a brilliant smile.
Helena didn't know when she started to write about Myka. The first time she realized it she was writing about a character in the new novel she was working on. She sat back and stared at the screen. Her hand shook a little as she scrolled up and reread what she had just written. It sounded like Myka. It felt like Myka. She hid her face in her hands and cried. She felt soft hands on her shoulders and she turned and wrapped her arms around Helen's waist. Helen stroked her hair as she cried.
"I miss her," she finally admitted.
"I know," Helen said softly. "What would you say to her, if you had the chance?"
Helena looked up at her in surprise. Then to Helen's disappointment, she turned away. "Nothing. There's nothing I can say that would make up for what I did to her."
Helen tried to touch her, but she slipped away and walked over to the fireplace. She stood with her back to Helen, her hands resting on the mantle. She looked into the dancing flames as she spoke. "I love Myka more than life itself. I cannot hurt her again. And that's why I cannot ever see her again."
"And what makes you think that's your decision to make Helena?"
Helena turned around. She shook as she looked at the woman standing there. "Myka," she whispered.
Chapter 5
Myka glared at Helen Magnus. Arms folded, she radiated anger and disappointment. "You said she was ready," she snapped angrily at the doctor. She shot the stunned Helena a sharp look, warning her not to come closer. "Obviously she has learned nothing." With those parting words she turned around and left.
Helena finally moved and raced over to the exit door, but it was closed. Myka was gone. She sank to the floor and cried. She screamed out her anger banging her fist against the cold floor.
Helen watched her, waiting patiently. She knew that if she approached Helena right now, she might hurt her. She was of course capable of defending herself, but that would also mean possibly hurting Helena. So she waited. When Helena finally took a ragged breath and tried to sit up she moved over to her. She offered her a hand, which to her surprise was accepted. She pulled her friend and old lover to her feet and wrapped her arms around her. Helena stiffened, but eventually relented. She burrowed her face in Helen's hair as she held her tight.
Helen led her over to the sofa and they sat down. She cradled Helena in her arms like a child, waiting.
"Why Helen?"
Yes, why indeed? "I knew you weren't ready, but I also knew that she needed to see this side of you. She wasn't supposed to be here today. I was going to bring her later on this week."
"Why? I never thought you would be that cruel." Helena said sadly. The raw pain evident in her voice.
"She remembers the charismatic, wonderful and caring woman she fell in love with. But then there are also the few moments of insanity, like when you shot her with the Tesla, and… when you pointed a gun to her head. She's conflicted Helena. She's started to make excuses for your dark behavior. It's a defense mechanism. We want to save ourselves from pain. She's doing that by forcing your darkness out of the picture and only keeping her caring lover."
Helena sat up and looked at Helen for a long moment. There was a message between the lines in what Helen had just told her. When she realized it she covered her mouth as it hit home. "Oh god, she's here. She's been here all along, hasn't she?"
Helen nodded, pleased that she had figured it out. "Your intelligence and extraordinary mind has always impressed me Helena. I knew you would figure it out sooner, or later."
"Tell me," she demanded.
Helen hesitated. "I'll tell you as much as I can. Doctor patient privilege," she explained with a smile.
Helena nodded.
"They brought her here shortly after you actually," she said and looked for Helena's response. She was not disappointed as surprise, then anger, and finally understanding washed over Helena's face. Helena didn't say anything, just nodded. The showing of renewed patience pleased Helen immensely. "She didn't want to talk to me either. You are quite a pair, you know," Helen said and laughed.
Helena laughed, but it turned into a strangled sobbing sound. Helen took her hand to comfort her. "She's opened up a lot over the last couple of weeks, just like you. I had not planned on letting her see you for a while, but fate intervened," she said and sighed.
"What happened?" Helena whispered.
"She came looking for me one evening, and just happened to discover our surveillance room. She saw you."
Helena closed her eyes. "I wish she hadn't."
Helen nodded. "I do too, but for different reasons. Anyway, she demanded to see you. I said no. She wouldn't listen," Helen said and then laughed. "She's almost as stubborn as you darling."
Helena laughed and nodded. "That she is. That she certainly is."
Helen tucked a lock of Helena's hair behind a delicate ear. "She loves you Helena, but she's still in pain. You need to give her time."
Helena sighed. "I will do anything for her."
"Good, because that's probably what you'll end up doing."
Helen gently cupped Helena's chin and made her look at her. "Will you be okay darling?" she asked softly.
Helena nodded. "Go to her. She needs you."
"Thank you. You have come a remarkable way Helena. I am very pleased with you."
Helena shrugged, not ready to accept the praise. Helen understood why. The person that mattered the most to her was still hurting. She got up and walked to the exit. She glanced over her shoulder at the woman on the couch. Helena was in deep thought and didn't even seem to register that she was leaving.
"Henry," Helen said as she swept into the room. "Keep an eye on Helena please."
He nodded. "Sure will boss. I saw what happened."
"Didn't you see Myka on the security cameras?" she asked curiously.
He shrugged. "She's good Helen. She convinced me that you sent for her," he said annoyed. "Damn sneaky secret service people," he muttered.
Helen chuckled. "Don't beat yourself up over it. Maybe it was all for the best. Only the future will tell. Now if you will please excuse me I have to go and check on our young guest."
When she didn't find Myka in her room, Helen got a little worried, but then she started to think. It didn't take her long to figure out where Myka was. She slowly walked towards her, watching as the wind played with her hair. Even angry, Myka was a very beautiful woman. She called out to her. Myka didn't move.
"Myka," she said again, softly this time as she put a gentle hand on her shoulder. She slowly turned her around and saw the tears. "Oh Myka," she said and pulled her into her arms. "I'm so sorry you had to go through this."
"Why Helen? Why did you keep it a secret from me?" she sniffled.
"I knew the two of you aren't ready to see each other yet. You are both hurting too much. You will only hurt each other more at this point. I had hoped to prepare you a little more before letting you see her," she held up her hand to Myka's protesting. "Hear me out Myka. You needed to see her like this. You need to accept the darkness in her too, not just the good. She's a very complex person."
"You love her," Myka said in a small voice.
Helen smiled and caressed her hair. "I do. I love her very much."
"You knew her before, didn't you? Back in England," Myka said, still feeling vulnerable.
"I did. Come, let's talk inside. The wind up here is a bit too chilly for my taste."
Helen stirred her tea and took a sip; its warmth spreading through her body. She scolded herself for running after Myka up on the roof without a coat. She couldn't afford to get sick. She glanced at her guest who was curled up in an armchair across from her, cradling a mug of steaming coffee in her hands.
"She loves you." Myka said suddenly, not looking at Helen.
Helen smiled. "She does." She saw Myka hang her head, her long curls covering her face. "Myka, please look at me," she said softly.
Myka finally raised her head and looked at Helen with sad eyes. "We love each other very much Myka, but our time as lovers is long gone. We were good for each other back then, and we share a common past. No matter where we go, Helena and I will always have a connection, a bond that crosses time and space. It's a bond of love, of friendship, but not a lovers' bond," she said softly. "That bond only exists with you now. You can choose to break it, or not. It is your choice."
"I'm so sorry Helen. I jumped to conclusions."
Helen chuckled. "That's understandable under current circumstances," she tilted her head. "Myka, please don't waste your time being jealous of the bond I share with Helena. You cannot do anything about it. Focus on showing her the love that you have for her. All of her, the darkness too."
"I don't know if I can do that Helen. It scares me."
"And it should. It's part of what makes her her. Your love can control it. Without love she is lost."
Myka pondered her words. "I will try, but on one condition."
Helen hesitated, but she was curious too. "Go on," she encouraged.
"I want to see the tapes."
"You know I can't do that," Helen said sharply.
Myka jumped to her feet and glared at her. "I need to see those tapes. I need to see what she went through."
Helen shook her head. "It's not right, and it will do you no good."
Myka paced back and forth, hands in the air. "You are the one who wants me to embrace her darkness. Well, then show it to me, show me how she's conquering it. Share something with me Helen."
Helen basked in the emotions radiating from Myka. This was the most energy she had seen from her so far. "I'll think about it," she held up a hand. "That's my final word."
Myka nodded. "Thank you."
Chapter 6
Helen stared silently at the Helena on the monitor for a long moment before she turned on the recorder on her personal computer.
"Day 223. Patient Helena George Wells – Ms. Wells' progress has been astounding. Since the introduction of her fellow colleague and friend, Myka Bering, a couple of weeks ago, Wells has started to respond to treatment in a much faster pace than before. She has also responded very well to the introduction of familiar items and rekindling of past memories and friendships. She is talking more freely and she's writing. Recent evidence point to that she still refuses to forgive herself. We will focus on that aspect in future sessions. Dr. Helen Magnus, end report."
She sighed and sipped her tea before turning the recorder on again.
"Day 185. Patient Myka Ophelia Bering – Ms Bering is still dealing with a lot of anger. She tries to analyze and make sense of her current predicament, which is a losing battle. There is no sense in her situation. She is harboring a lot of anger towards both herself and her surroundings, but primarily towards Ms. Wells. At the same time she is withdrawing into her safe place of pleasant memories of her time with Wells. Since we now know the root of what caused Wells' actions, it is in my professional opinion that Bering needs to embrace the knowledge of Wells' darkness, but not the darkness itself." She paused, gathering her thoughts. "Patient Bering has requested to see footage of Wells since she arrived at the Sanctuary. Though this is generally against professional conduct, I am leaning towards allowing it. I believe that it will help move them in the right direction. Dr. Helen Magnus, end report."
Helen leaned back in her chair feeling drained. She had counseled many humans and abmormals over the years, all with their own flaws and issues, but nothing had ever come this close to home. She was struggling staying professional. She smiled; most doctors would have refused to take on a case involving someone you had been intimate with. Helen still knew that she was the only one who could deal with Helena and her unique situation. As far as she knew, Helena was the only one outside of The Five whose life had spanned a century and a half. How could any regular counselor be able to deal with that? Dr. Vanessa Calder perhaps? Maybe. Helen doubted that Helena would trust her, knowing Vanessa's close connection with Artie Nielsen.
Myka had almost forgotten her request. Then one morning when Bigfoot brought her breakfast as usual; there was something new on the tray. A DVD was leaning against her coffee mug. She picked it up with a shaking hand. A note was stuck to it.
She made a strangled sound, and clamped her hand over her mouth. Those had been Helena's words to her, that day in the lab when they had worked together to try and save Claudia's life. It seemed so long ago. She had pondered Helena's words back then, alone in bed that night, as visions of dark hair caressing her face while strong arms pulled her to safety, plagued her mind. Yes, Helena's words had indeed had a double meaning.
Helena was furious. She couldn't focus, she couldn't write. Where was Helen? She had to talk to her. She twirled around as the exit door hissed open. As if summoned Helen stood there smiling at her.
"Where have you been?" Helena demanded to know.
"Good morning Helena. How are you today?" she asked and brought the tray over to the table, ignoring Helena's question. She sat down and looked up at her. "Come, have some tea."
Helena sat down across from her; legs crossed her foot swinging impatiently as she watched Helen pour the tea. Finally she couldn't take it any longer. "How is she?"
Helen smiled and handed her the tea. "Here you go darling."
Helena took it and put it down next to her. "Well?'
"Patience Helena," Helen teased. She saw the annoyance on Helena's face and raised an eyebrow. Finally Helena sighed, defeated and picked up her tea. Helen watched silently as soft lips closed around the thin china, tasting the hot beverage.
"She's angry," she said softly. "But she's beginning to understand."
Helena nodded, silently sipping her tea. Helen picked up an item from the tray and handed it to her. "I thought you might enjoy this."
Helena put her tea down and took the leather bound journal from Helen. Her fingers traced the gold monogram on the outside, GS, George Sand. She looked up at Helen. "Where did you get this?"
"I've had it for a very long time," she admitted softly. "I know how much she meant to you. I want you to have it."
"Great auntie GS. She named me, you know. The G in my name stands for George, for GS. Did you know that?" Helena whispered and opened the book to read the cover page. She startled. "This is from when she lived with us," she gasped.
Helen nodded. "She's writing about you in there too."
"But I was just a child. What could I possibly have had to offer that would be important enough to include in her diary?"
Helen smiled. "A very adventurous and spirited child if I remember correctly. She cared a great deal for you. I often heard her speak to your father about you, asking him to be patient, and to have an open mind."
Helena laughed. "I did try to test the boundaries, didn't I?"
"That you certainly did darling."
"Do you remember the first time we met?" Helena asked with a gentle smile. "I was nine. As usual I was in trouble and I had run into the parlor to hide my pain from my father's scolding. I threw myself on the divan, hugging a pillow as I cried."
"I remember," Helen said and moved over to kneel by Helena's feet. "I picked you up and held you as you cried. I still don't understand why you let me."
Helena took her hands and smiled at her. "I felt a connection to you Helen. A fellow free spirit."
"You were my little shadow during the weeks to follow. It was quite endearing."
"Even at the tender age of nine I knew that I craved your attention, your caress, your kisses," Helena said and smiled lovingly at Helen. "I think that you shaped me into who I am today, just as much as my parents. You showed me unconditional love, Helen. I had never had that before."
"And George, she showed you that women can be strong in a man's world. That you can break the chains imposed on you by society," Helen said with a smile. " There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved," she quietly quoted George Sand.
Helena nodded. "I loved her so much, even though it was partly her fault that I was in trouble the day," she said with a chuckle.
"Because of the trousers?"
"Yes!" Helena said and laughed. "Those bloody trousers."
"Well, the next time I saw you, in London in 1886, you were very confident in your trousers, white shirt and vest," Helen said with a chuckle. "You took my breath away, you were so beautiful."
"And you were just as lovely as I remembered," she said softly and touched Helen's hair. "Your hair is different now," she mumbled. "I miss your blond curls."
Helen shrugged. "We all have our reasons for changing who we are."
Helena nodded. "I was only twenty," said, still in the grasp of memories past. "So passionate, but so very young."
Helen chuckled and got up. Helena tugged at her hand and pulled her down on her lap. "I thought you were the most beautiful woman I'd ever met," she said and gently caressed Helen's hips. "I couldn't believe that you wanted to be with me."
Helen's gaze softened. "I felt guilty. You were so young. I felt like I should stay away from you."
"But I didn't give you much choice, did I now?" Helena teased.
"No you certainly did not. As inexperienced as you were, you were very persistent in your pursuit."
"You know why," Helena breathed softly against her neck. Helen shivered.
"I was the first one to love you," she whispered.
"Yes," Helena whispered and pressed her lips against Helen's soft skin.
Helen sighed. Helena's touch still made her skin tingle. She slowly disentangled herself from Helena and stood. She looked down at her and noticed the smirk on Helena's lips. "We were good for each other at one point Helena, but we both know that what's in the past needs to stay in the past. Our lives, even though starting out parallel, have gone in different directions. I am not the one for you anymore."
Helena looked sadly at her. "We could be good for each other again."
Helen gently cupped her cheek. "I'm not the one your heart craves. I'm sorry Helena, but I cannot be someone else's' substitute. It would tear my soul apart."
"I'm sorry Helen," Helena whispered.
Myka silently watched Helena on her computer screen. She was dreaming, clutching a pillow close to her. Myka she mumbled in her sleep.
Myka felt her heart go out to her, but instantly shoved the feeling away. Helena's betrayal was still too fresh to be able to allow herself the comfort of knowing that her lover still needed her. The scene changed. Helena was talking to Helen in the living room. The camera zoomed in on her face, and Myka could see the anger in her eyes. She gasped. Then the moment was gone and Helena hung her head defeated. She watched as Helen held her, gently caressing her hair. A sharp stab of jealousy surfaced and she bristled at the sight of Helen's intimate caress. She sighed frustrated with herself. She was just about to turn off the DVD when the scene changed. Her eyes grew wide. It was Helena in the shower. Naked, with water cascading down her beautiful body. Myka squirmed in her seat as her body reacted to the scene.
"She's stunning," Helen said softly behind her. Myka's ears burned. She felt like she was caught red handed watching something she shouldn't.
"She is," she whispered and looked up at Helen.
"You're still attracted to her. Good," Helen said with a nod of her head.
"Do you really have to do that?" Myka asked softly and gestured to the frozen picture of Helena now wrapped in a towel.
"Do what?"
"Invade her privacy like that?"
"Darling, I'm the only one who has access to this camera," she explained. She pulled a small device out of her pocket. "This will alert me every time she enters the bathroom. It's for her own protection."
Myka nodded in understanding. "It's just painful to watch," she said softly.
"Trust me, Helena is not bothered about it."
"Perhaps you're right."
"So how do you feel this morning?" Helen said cheerfully, steering the conversation away from Helena for a moment.
"All right I guess," Myka mumbled. "It was hard to watch that DVD," she confessed.
"So what's your conclusion?"
"You were right. I have to learn to deal with the darkness in her."
"And?"
Myka jumped to her feet, agitated. "and nothing!" She turned to Helen. "What do you want me to say? That I forgive her? I don't know if I'm ready to do that yet."
"How about forgiving yourself?" Helen asked gently.
Myka turned and stared at her. "Not that either. How could I? I almost destroyed the world."
Helen shook her head. "No you didn't. Helena almost did, but you didn't. You saved it. You saved her."
Myka sank down in her chair again with a sigh of frustration.
"I don't know anymore Helen."
Helen could feel her confusion. "Come have dinner with us tonight?" she said softly.
"I can't," Myka whispered.
"Oh come on now, sure you can. It's just dinner."
Myka walked over to the window and looked out at the city below. "Does she want me there?"
"It's not her decision really, but yes she does."
Myka hung her head. "Okay."
"Excellent. I'll be by around seven."