DISCLAIMER: I do not own Guiding Light or Olivia and Natalia. I'm just borrowing them for a little bit. I don't own the song either. That belongs to WMG and the Zac Brown Band.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.

Whatever It Is
By Kye

 

I don't know what it is.

That...thing.

Whatever it is.

But...I know she has it.

She got eyes that cuts you like a knife
And lips that taste like sweet red wine

Sometimes I find myself just staring into those dark brown eyes, and then she'll say something, and my gaze'll shift down to those lips.

God.

Those lips.

That one taste wasn't enough. Could never be enough. That taste.

Sweet red wine. That's the best I can think of.

And pretty legs to go heaven every time

I remember one of the first things I noticed about her was her legs. They were so lean and slim and tanned. I didn't think it right then in that moment, but I would soon come to appreciate the power in those legs.

The delicate grace.

She got a gentle way that puts me at ease
When she walks in the room I can hardly breathe

She has to be the softest, kindest, most gentle person that I know. She's so nurturing and pure. I can't believe it took me as long as it did to fall in love with her.

Then again, I've never exactly been accused of using my brain, or my heart, when it came to love.

I can still remember the exact moment I fell in love with her. I was just standing there, waiting. For something, I'm sure. But it slips my mind exactly what it was.

Because before I knew it, I looked up, and she was there.

It isn't a rare occurrence for me to suddenly find myself desperate for just a single breath. The one that she so easily seems to take away.

Got a devastating smile knock a grown man to his knees

Her smile was one of the first things I noticed about her that was just so pure. And the dimples.

Can't live without those dimples now.

Don't think I ever wanna try.

She got whatever it is
It blows me away
She's everything I wanna say to a woman
But I couldn't find the words to say

I don't think I could ever put it into words. I just know that she has this pull inside of me. Just to think about her, no matter when or where or why, it's there.

And it's powerful.

I can hear a million thoughts run through my mind when she's standing there next to me, or lying in bed beside me at night. She'll turn to me with those eyes, and that smile, and I just wanna say the perfect thing in that moment.

She got whatever it is
I don't know what to do
'Cause every time I try to tell her how I feel
It comes out "I love you"
You got whatever it is

It just slips from my mouth before I can stop it. Those three little words are like a breath to me whenever I see her staring so deeply back into my eyes. I feel it tugging at me from everywhere inside until I just can't help but open my mouth and pray that the right thing comes out.

"Whatcha thinking about?"

I shake my head at the sound of her soft voice. I offer my best smile as I look over where she's standing in front of the stove, stirring a pot of something that smells so like her.

"I love you."

I can tell she's a little shocked at my words, but not really. 'Cause after all, they seem to be the only words she ever hears anymore. She gives me that pure, dimpled smile, shakes her head just a little, and then turns her attention back to the stove.

It wasn't always like this.

You know I never been the type that would ever wanna stay
Bring 'em home at night and they're gone the next day
But that all changed when she walked into my life

My past is no big secret in this town. I know she's heard people talk. I know she's seen the collateral damage of exactly how torrid of an affair my past 'relationships' have been.

The one good thing that came out of all that was Emma. Well, Emma and Ava. I know Emma's the glue that helps hold this family together. Children were always so much easier to love.

Except for her.

I don't really find it all that hard with her.

Imagine that.

"Are green beans okay?"

I look up with another smile as she places a steaming plate in front of me, and I allow myself just a moment to take in the aroma. She always was an amazing cook. Just another one of the little reasons I can't seem to let go. Not that I ever plan to.

"Green beans are perfect."

She smiles at me and I see that twinkle in those dark eyes.

"Emma!" she calls around the corner of the kitchen. "Dinner!"

The sound of tiny feet and hearty giggles soon fill the room as our daughter makes an entrance like only she can.

And people ask me why it is, tell 'em I don't know
There just something 'bout the woman makes my heart go haywire
She's gonna be my wife

I smile, laughing as Emma bounces into her seat next to me. She happily plays with her napkin as she waits for her other mommy to place her plate in front of her. I look up to watch as she smiles before walking over.

The light in the room catches her hand at just the right angle as she places the plate in front of our daughter. My heart swells and seizes in my chest all at once as I take in the sparkle of the diamond.

My gaze drifts upwards and our eyes meet. I feel my knees become a little shaky from the impact of her smile. If I wasn't already sitting down, I know I'd be on them by now.

She got whatever it is
It blows me away
She's everything I wanna say to a woman
But I couldn't find the words to say

It's the quiet family times like these that I remember what it is that I was missing with all those others. It's now when I realize what it is that she gives me that no one else can.

Whatever it is.

She got whatever it is
I don't know what to do
'Cause every time I try to tell her how I feel
It comes out "I love you"
You got whatever it is

She takes my hand as she takes her seat across the table from me. I smile, Emma smiles, giggling as she clasps both of our hands from her place between us.

Our eyes lock one last time, smiling before I close them to bow my head.

When she loves me
Girl that's how I feel
When she loves me
I'm on top of the world

"Olivia..."

I hear the name whispered in reverence upon her lips as I feel her fingers threading through my hair. She gasps, and then gives my hair a soft, gentle tug as she wraps her leg around my waist.

I open my eyes, pulling back from her neck to look down into those deep brown eyes. I can see them so filled with love and respect for me. For her. For us.

'Cause when she loves me, know I can live forever
And when she loves me
I am untouchable

"Oh, Olivia."

The gasp is much sharper now as I feel the sheet clinging to my sweat soaked body. Her fingers are a little more desperate as they rake against the skin of my back. I feel the sharp sting of her fingernails and then the soothing calm of her warm breath against the side of my face.

Her kiss is like the burn of a soothing fire just as I feel her body begin to shake beneath my own.

She got whatever it is
It blows me away
She's everything I wanna say to a woman
But I couldn't find the words to say

Moments, maybe hours later, and I finally manage to extract myself from those soft, intoxicating lips. Her eyes are deep pools of almost black staring back up at me. But they are still so full of tenderness, love...respect.

Not exactly what I'm use to feeling in moments like these.

But that was a lifetime ago.

Before her.

She got whatever it is
I don't know what to do
'Cause every time I try to tell her how I feel
It comes out "I love you"
I do
You got whatever it is

I'm holding her now as the shaking in her body finally starts to subside. I was never really big on the holding part. I was much more akin to being the one held.

But when I feel her head shift on my chest and her leg come to settle in between mine, I can't imagine it any other possible way.

The thin sheet is the only barrier between our spent bodies and the cool air of the late winter night. But all I can seem to feel is the warm press of her body against mine and how it burns me right down to my very soul.

Something I thought I'd lost a long time ago.

I even started to question if I ever really had one.

But I don't anymore. Because she prays for me, for Rafe, and for Emma, and for our growing family.

Maybe she's the glue that holds this family together. I don't know how she does it. I don't know how she can be such a perfect mother to our children, such a devoted lover and friend to me, and still be so strong in her faith in God and her love.

But she does.

I don't think I'll ever understand why she chose me. She could have had everything and then some. But she chose me. And I'll spend the rest of my life trying my best only to make her happy.

"Olivia?"

"Yes, love?"

"Stop thinking so much and rest," her soft, nearly sleep-filled voice whispers to me. "You have an early morning."

I smile as I kiss the top of her sweet smelling hair.

I don't know how she does it, but I know she has it.

Whatever it is.

Oh...
You got whatever it is

The End

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