DISCLAIMER: The great one JOSS owns them not me and not profit will be made.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is pure fluff but I had to write it down just so it would leave me alone. LOL.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.

When you read this..
By Bynx


When you read this, I'll have already left. When you read this, I'll be sitting somewhere else, but thinking of you and wondering how I could have left you. I don't want to leave you..here maybe, but NEVER you. When you read this, I hope you will forgive me, but I won't blame you if you don't. When you read this, she'll probably be there with you and that's okay. I mean it. It is okay. I like her. When you read this, I hope you will believe me I say I am glad you are happy. When you read this, I will have left the only stable and good thing in my life behind. When you read this, I'll be crying as I leave you, but I can't be here anymore not like this. When you read this, you'll finally know. When you read this, you'll hate me and I'll be relieved that I am not there to see it in your eyes. When you read this, you'll know I love you more than life, more than anything. When you read this, you'll know how desperately I wanted to be the one you looked at like a lover with all the love you have to give. When you read this, you'll know how much I envy her. When you read this, you'll know I wasn't 'freaked out', but heart broken I waited and hid too long. When you read this, I'll have packed, touched all your things on my way out, and run like only I can. When you read this, you'll know that your big protector from the baddies is really just a coward and you deserve so much better. When you read this, please believe how sorry I am and someday try to forgive me. You will always know even through my cowardice that I will always love you....When you read this.

Love Always,

Willow sits down, almost collapsing onto her bed. Tears slide down her cheeks, but she doesn't feel them. The letter falls from her hand to settle to the floor. Hands trembling, she runs them through her hair and absently wipes her eyes. She looks to the lone figure sitting on the other bed in the room head down to her chest.

"You.." Willow swallows, "You were just going to leave?"

"Yes, b-but I..I couldn't."

"Why didn't you?"

"I..." she stops.

"WHY?!" Willow raises her voice.

"I.. I left before and you..you made me pr-promise I would never do it again," she clears her throat, "I almost broke that promise I was on the b-bus and I..I couldn't break my promise to you..."

"You weren't going to come back this time were you?"

"No." Buffy shakes her head, "But I c-couldn't l-leave.."

"If I hadn't come back here early and found the note..you would never have given it to me..you weren't going to leave, but you were just going to lie? I never would have seen it would I?!?!" Willow stands.

Buffy flinches at her tone, "No, you would never have seen it and if you want to hate me I'll at least be here for you to have something to direct it at..."

"DAMN IT, BUFFY!" Willow starts pacing and waving her arms, "I don't hate you..I could never hate you..NEVER! I..I just..How could you even think about just running on me?!"

In a panic, Buffy not able to face the pain in Willow's voice, stands and bolts for the door. Before she can open it, Willow is slamming her into it and holding her face to the door. Buffy could easily get away, but she would have to hurt Willow and she has done that enough already. Instead, she stands stock still, muscles tensed against the door, crying.

"I'm sorry Willow..so sorry..Please.."

"Sorry for what?! Almost leaving me again...breaking your promise..hiding something important from me..or..or l-loving me?!" Willow stutters as she screams.

"Oh God, Willow..I could n-never be sorry for loving you..I couldn't be sorry I l-love you even if it caused your..you to get hurt..even if you hate me for it.. I could never be sorry for that.." Buffy stammers out beginning to slide unable to stand anymore.

Willow follows Buffy down as she falls to her knees. Willow wraps her arms around the trembling slayer, "Buffy, I don't hate you..I never could..."

"Thank God.." Buffy sobs.

"I l-love you too much to hate you. It would have destroyed me if you had left me. You can't ever leave me." Willow holds Buffy tight to her.

"I..w-won't, Wills.." Buffy sobs out, "I c-can't."

"What would I have done if you had been able to?..I would have spent my life looking for you..don't you know that?" Willow babbles lightly.

"Willow, I..I'm sorry..I love you so much..I.." Buffy slowly looks up into green eys filled with tears, "I m-made you cry..I.."

Buffy can't finish as Willow captures her lips in a ferociously passionate kiss. Without hesitation, Buffy wraps her arms tightly around Willow. Willow demands entrance into the slayer's warm, sweet mouth, which is eagerly given. Their tongues taste in greeting playing over each other wrestling for dominance. Buffy's hands move up into the redhead's hair holding their kiss together. Willow's hands move to the buttons on Buffy's shirt. Not being able to make her hands undo the tiny offending items, she grabs and rips the shirt open exposing bare breasts. Buffy moans into the kiss as Willow's fingers lightly run over the slayer's pert nipples. Buffy quickly grabs hold of Willow's t-shirt and rends it in two pieces. Willow gasps out breaking the kiss at Buffy's display of strength. They each look into each other's eyes panting for air and realizing exactly what is happening.

"Goddess, Buffy..." Willow breathes out.

"I'm sorry..Tara..I.." Willow places her fingers on Buffy's lips to stop her and they both realize how the other is trembling.

"Do you want to know why I came home early today?" Willow whispers. Buffy nods against her finger tips, "I told Tara that as much as I like her that I..I c-could never give her what she d-deserved because I could only give that to someone else..she already knew Buffy..it's you." New tears slide down the slayer's already stained cheeks, "So, you see why..if you had left..I.."

This time Buffy stops Willow from speaking by kissing her long, deep and lovingly, "I..um..Wills, I please.." Buffy runs her fingers down the valley of Willow's breasts trying to let her body say what her mouth can't.

"Yes," Willow whispers taking Buffy's hand and placing it on her breast.

Buffy groans at the exquisite softness that is Willow. How long has she wanted to touch her this way? How long has she run from the truth? If she had known she never would have. Buffy removes her hand and standing quickly scoops Willow into her arms carrying her toward her bed. She lays Willow down and strips off her Wiccan's clothes. She starts to rip at the rest of hers until she sees Willow shake her head. Willow moves to her knees and begins to undress Buffy slowly. She drops the ruined shirt to the floor kissing the slayer's shoulders, tonguing the hollow of her throat, and sucking slowly each erect nipple. Next she undoes the loose jeans Buffy is wearing and watches as they slide to the floor revealing a naked Slayer. She delights in the small blondish patch of hair left above Buffy's slit almost as if pointing the way to heaven. She trails her tongue down the valley between the slayer's breasts around a tightly muscled navel planting light feather kisses over hipbones. She feels the slayer shiver and quake under her lips.

"Willow, I can't..have to sit down..." Buffy gasps out as she sways on liquefied knees.

Willow pulls the other girl to the bed holding her close. How long has she dreamed of this moment? How long has she wanted these arms around her? Too long and now they are here.

"Buffy, I love you." she whispers hotly into the slayer's ear while biting on it.

" I love you, Willow." Buffy trails her hands up the redhead's thigh over a hip bone to cup a small yet firm breast, "You're so beautiful, Wills..so beautiful.."

"I..uh.." Willow blushes throughout her entire body.

Buffy captures her love's lips in a heart-stopping kiss as they both roam the other's bodies. Two bodies tangle in love's battle of flesh, sweat shiny bodies moving into each other and away in a primal rhythm. Names and promises of love exchanged in passion, give way to the sounds of bodies uniting in climax. As they lay trying to catch their breath, their hands still quietly, lovingly memorize curves and touches. They smile into each other's eyes as they kiss lightly.

"Willow, that was..never before..I.."

"I thought I was the babble queen.." Willow chuckles holding Buffy tight.

"You were amazing..the things I felt..Never before.."

"It's about love Buffy, that's the difference..It's our love.." Willow blushes.

Buffy kisses Willow longingly pulling her impossibly tighter, "I'm sorry, Willow about..today..the letter.."

"Ssshhh..I know, but we 're here..you're here..and everything else can be forgotten for now..just love me.."

"Always, Wills..I'll never stop."

They snuggle into each other for warmth, for need, for love. Someday, when life has finally cut the slayer and her witch a break, they will sit with Buffy's letter and remember how love came out from hiding..When You Read This.

The End

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