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SPOILERS: Every episode of Glee.
Who Do You Think You Are?
who do you think you are "
As Finn leans down to place his clammy lips (how are lips clammy, anyway?) on my own, I see a streak of brown hair fly quickly past me, walking at incredible speed. I take in the argyle socks, and without thinking I turn my head to the right, kissing Finn lightly on the neck.
"Why don't you go on to homeroom? I need to go take care of something," I say, silently pleading for him to leave quickly. I know he'll listen to me, it's just too easy.
With a dazed expression on his face, he looks down at me with a smirk and nods, walking away slowly with some weird swagger going on. The sight of it is unsettling.
Watching him turn the corner, I spring toward the far end bathroom. Knowing Rachel, which I kinda do, she would go there to get away.
I hope I'm wrong, I hope she's not upset. I really didn't want to hurt her again. Stupid Finn and his PDA gross.
Well, I thought, you can't really tell her it wasn't your idea now, can you? Ugh.
Jogging slightly, I make my way to the bathroom door, trying to listen for any sounds. I think I hear crying, but I'm not sure. Pushing open the door, I hear a stall slam shut and instantly I know that Rachel's in there.
I decide to play it off as though I had just walked in to use the bathroom, though. I don't want her to think that I came in here just to see if she was okay. That wouldn't work. I can't be showing any more weakness after the past few days. I just can't.
Walking in, I step toward the sinks, making noise before I stop and hesitantly ask her to show herself.
Dammit, I know she's in here.
"Rachel, are you in here?"
Sounding sort of bored and hoping the worry isn't making itself known in the tone of my voice, I ask again.
This is ridiculous.
Dropping the nonchalance, I make my way over to the stall door and address her directly.
"Open the door, Berry. I know you're in there."
I put on the mask of head cheerleader by speaking with my bitch voice, but I'm desperately hoping that she's alright.
I wish I could talk to her. I wish I could tell her how much
Shaking my head, I stand resolute, waiting for her answer. I hear the toilet tank shift and realize she must be sitting on the uppermost part, hiding even her feet from my view.
"Go away, Quinn," she says, and I instantly feel the blood in my veins freeze and boil at the same time. Just from her voice I can tell she's been doing quite a bit of crying in the past few minutes. What's worse is the harshness of her tone and the words that bite as she speaks to me.
Feeling tears in my eyes, I refuse to let them fall and try one more time to get her to open the stall door. My voice has lost all of its edge, I can tell, but I hold my ground. I refuse to let her see me broken again.
"No, Quinn. Go away."
Keep it together, Fabray. Calm down.
"You don't have to worry about me outing you, Quinn." I suck in a quick breath at this, momentarily freaking at the words "outing you".
"I wouldn't do that to someone. Not even you," she says, and instantly I know I deserve that.
Oh lord the tone of her voice just breaks me.
I stand there for a moment, staring at the metal cubicle, feeling a million different emotions flooding through me. Frustration being the foremost, because at that moment all I want to do is kick at the door yelling and screaming, but at the same time I feel like grabbing Rachel and never letting her go.
It's the worst culmination of simultaneous feelings I've ever experienced. I don't like it.
Just screw this bullshit.
"I hope you're decent in there," I say, getting down and crawling underneath the stall.
Trying not to think of how dirty the floor could possibly be, I wriggle low on my elbows and knees, making my way into the stall.
"Quinn!" I hear a screech and see a flash of lace underneath a plaid skirt before Rachel's standing in the corner of the stall, as far away from me as possible.
Getting up, I wipe off my uniform, hoping there's nothing too disgusting attached to it.
Looking back up at Rachel, I get lost for a moment because she looks me right in the eyes, confused, but definitely emotional. I can see she has been crying and I feel bad instantly because I know it's my fault.
Not wanting to slip into sympathy, though, I place a hand on my hip and glare at her.
"What do you want, Quinn?"
"Why would I want anything from you, Treasure Trail?" I feel a wince forming on my face at using the familiar name and quickly twist it into an evil smirk.
Trying to back up impossibly further, I see Rachel squeezing herself into the corner, but standing her ground.
"Quinn. You're the one who crawled underneath my stall," she says.
Damn. I need to think through the things I say more often. She's got me all flustered with the crying
"Alright, fine Berry. You caught me. I was trying to make sure you weren't in here bawling your eyes out."
I see her eyes get wide and she steps toward me hesitantly with her arms outstretched slightly. I flinch, stepping back a half step and continue glaring at her, crossing my arms to add effect.
"I came to make sure that you weren't playing the pity party to get Finn to pay attention to you."
Rachel doesn't move away from me, if anything she steps closer after hearing this remark. Her eyes are glazed over and I'm not sure she's even listening to me.
"Did you hear what I said, Berry?"
Retreating a bit further, I feel my back hit the wall and I reposition myself so that my shoulder blades are touching the stall door.
Just in case I need a quick exit, I know I can get to it.
Rachel nods, stepping impossibly closer to me. I don't understand what's going on, but if she keeps looking at me like that
"You should know that Finn is mine and that we're dating. I want you to stay away from him. The last thing his simple little mind needs is more distractions What are you doing??!"
Rachel had managed to place her entire body against the length of mine in the time that I was caught up in delivering my diatribe to her. It felt so good.
"Get off of me!" I yell and shove her away, seeing her stumble slightly, but just enough to shake her out of whatever state she had been a few minutes ago.
"Quinn! I've had enough!! You should fully know that I have no intentions toward chasing down that Neanderthal ever again! If that's what you were worried about, you could have saved yourself a trip in here because you know damn well that he's not the reason I'm in here crying like a pathetic child."
I gape, realizing what Rachel has just called Finn; what she's just said. My heart feels like it's about to burst just knowing that she truly doesn't want him anymore.
If I had actually thought about it, Rachel having feelings for Finn is a larger reason for me rejecting Berry than the problems I have with accepting myself. Or wanting to stay popular; those are important too, I guess. And now, my heart is kind of swelling with happiness or something like that.
Instantly I'm moving forward, pulling Rachel toward me, guiding those gorgeous, perfect lips to my own.
Feeling the contact, I revel again in the softness of Rachel's lips and when she moans, I plunge my tongue into her mouth, amazed by how good it feels to be kissing her. Pulling away slightly, she kisses me, sucking on my lower lip and placing her hands on my lower sides, making circle patterns with her thumbs.
Having already placed my hands on her waist to pull her closer, I move them even lower, feeling her firm ass, squeezing it slightly. The moaning coming from Rachel fuels me, beginning a battle for dominance once again with my tongue. Gasping, I pull away, still cupping her firm butt in my hands, pressing my forehead against hers.
I can feel her hot breath ghosting over my lips and I don't ever want this to stop. Pulling her back in, I lose myself in sucking on her lower lip, running my tongue along the length of it. I feel her hands move upward, tracing my shoulders and finally entwining themselves in my hair, gripping tightly and pulling my mouth impossibly closer to hers. Feeling a deep tremor within me, I let out a low moan almost resembling a growl and grip Rachel as closely to me as possible.
Loving every minute, getting lost in touching her, especially that ass, I pick her up and feel her thighs grip my waist and press her fully against the wall. Our bodies are melded together and this feeling is heavenly. I press my hips forward into her while I bite down just slightly on her lower lip, and the sexiest sound I've ever heard comes from Rachel.
Breaking away from her mouth, panting, I move my lips to her jaw, tracing and nipping at her skin. Trailing lower, I start to kiss her neck, stopping at a point where she moans louder to suck at it.
I'm slowly thrusting my hips against her, feeling a rhythm in my movements, I'm so turned on. More than I have been in my entire life. I want to touch every inch of Rachel. Cursing her clothing, I place one of my hands on her side, trailing underneath her sweater. I keep moving upward, feeling the edge of a bra and I feel myself becoming wet.
Thrusting a little harder, being fueled on by Rachel crushing my lips to hers, I feel tension building. She's moaning my name as I'm now fully playing with her breast. Running my tongue along her throat, I stop to place kisses, sucking at her as well.
"Quinn Quinn I think"
"Mhmm I know, baby. Let yourself go. Give it to me."
I can hear the emotion in my voice, but I don't care.
Suddenly I feel her body tense against me, and she's shaking. I hold up her legs and realize she's coming. It's so hot, and the movement she's making against me pushes me over the edge. Yelling her name, I grab onto the top of the stall to hold the both of us up as we ride through our orgasms.
Slowly, all of our movements stop.
Breathing heavily, I let her down to stand, but still hold onto her.
Slowly, she retreats from me. Disentangling her hands, she steps back a tiny way and pulls our lips apart, inch by inch. Finally, we're both standing there, quietly gasping for air. Rachel's eyes are closed and her hands are placed just above my breasts, pressing gently against the area below my shoulders. I smile at her slightly, feeling elated at what we had just done.
Oh god, I want to do that again.
"Quinn " I hear her voice and my heart shatters, because it sounds like hers already has.
"I can't do this, Quinn. Stop following me, stop cornering me. I can't take the heartbreak t-that will happen if we keep doing this."
I look into her eyes as they slide back open, admonishing myself for being the cause of the tears currently residing there.
I can't speak. I try, moving my mouth and spluttering, but no sound comes out. She looks at me like she's already heartbroken and moves past me, opening the door and making her way out.
I grab her wrist quickly before she's completely out of my reach and look at her, still trying to summon up the wordsany wordsthat will make everything okay.
Feeling tears filling my eyes as well, I know there are none. And as I let my hand glide down hers, I feel them fall.
Hearing the heavy bathroom door slam closed, I slide down to the floor, crying my eyes out and wondering why it feels like my soul is being ripped out of my chest.
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