Whole Again
By Debbie
Sam's Office, SGC Complex
Sam sat in her office and, as was often the case, thought about the last six years. How the woman she'd come to love dearly had walked out of her life with no real explanation. She looked at the photograph sat on her desk, Herself, Cassie and Janet, taken on a trip to the coast all those years ago.
Janet had come into her life not long after joining the SGC and their friendship had developed from there. That friendship had increased dramatically with saving Cassie's life. That had been a rough time, Janet had taken on Cassie without a backward glance. Sam had always looked upon Cassie as a daughter, and she couldn't have asked for a better Mum, for her daughter, than Janet. Luckily for her Janet had treated her as Cassie's other parent too. It was then that her feelings had changed. From being just a friend, she began to see Janet as her partner, and a deep love had developed in Sam resulting with her believing that the three of them were a family. She had thought Janet felt the same way but six years ago she had gone, just upped and walked away. Within weeks their friendship had gone as well. Sure she kept in touch with Cassie and she therefore knew a little about Janet's life now, but apart from the greetings cards they exchanged, she couldn't remember the last time she'd heard from Janet herself.
Sam had been lost without Janet and had thrown herself even more into work. She'd always been a workaholic but it got even worse after her loss. The guys had tried to involve her in social activities, but nobody had managed to get through until she met Jo. Jo was a Physical Therapist she had met after being injured on an off-world incident. Sam had fallen for Jo immediately, something to do with the dark brown eyes and her shorter stature. When she'd introduced her to Cassie, she had said, "Oh, she looks just like Mum."
They'd been happy, in fact very much in love, so much so that they had married after two years together. Her friends had accepted the relationship with no qualms; Jack had even given her away, as her Father could not get back. Her Dad, Jacob, had met Jo a couple of times and the only comment he had made was to question Janet's knowledge of the marriage. Sam had never understood what her Dad meant by this, but, as far as she knew, Janet didn't know because she had begged Cassie not to tell her. She didn't know why she had done this, just that it seemed important to her at the time.
Over the next twelve months things began to deteriorate, Jo started staying out at night and she'd scream about not being able to cope with the presence of another whenever they rowed. Sam didn't know what she meant until in their last argument Jo threw the photograph of Janet in her face. Then, one year ago to this day, Sam had come home from a mission to find the house empty and Jo gone. She heard from a friend that Jo had taken off with a young police officer and left the state. So here she was, once again deserted by someone she loved, and once again all alone in this world.
Recently, she had been looking at her life again. Jack had decided to retire offworld to be with the mother of his young son, Daniel had just re-married and, even Teal'c was in a long-term relationship. Cassie had told her that Janet was on her own again, and the last time Sam had seen her Dad he had asked if she'd spoken to Janet recently. This time she'd challenged him as to why he kept on about Janet. He had said that Selmac feels the two of you are destined to be together and I should encourage you to do something about it. All of these things had made her realize she had never stopped loving Janet, just put her to the back of her mind, until now, when she was once again sad and lonely. Janet was now very much back in the front of her mind, and the more she thought about things, the more she wanted to see Janet again. She'd read about an astrophysicist conference to be held in Janet's new hometown in England and had wondered about attending. She stood up, her mind set. She was going to attend and she was going to see Janet again.
Janet's office, Hallamshire Hospital, Sheffield, England.
Janet sat in her office and, as was often the case, she thought about the last six years. How she had left the job she loved and the women she would love forever, because of her lack of confidence. She'd had everything she wanted, she was happy in her work and happy in her relationship with Samantha Carter. For all intents and purposes they shared a wonderful daughter, Cassie. Deep inside, however, Janet had been afraid to tell Sam how she felt because Janet thought Sam was straight and had been afraid of losing their close friendship.
Then that silly business with Sam and Jack O'Neill and their mutual feelings for each other had reared its ugly head. Janet had thought she had no chance of having her feelings returned, had decided she couldn't cope with the depth of her feelings for Sam, and had therefore just ran.
'That's right Janet, you ran, too scared to ask Sam if there was any chance' What had ultimately happened, was that she lost Sam anyhow. 'Well that's not entirely true' she thought, 'we send each other Birthday and Christmas cards. I know she keeps in touch with Cassie, well she should, she's her daughter too. But their close friendship was lost within weeks of her leaving. Janet had been heartbroken at her own choice and made the conscious decision to cool things off. Now she sat and wondered what Sam had felt all those years ago. Cassie had hinted that Sam had been devastated too, and that she had wanted Janet, not Jack O'Neill, but could the brunette even contemplate that being true.
Things had improved in her life when, two years after leaving the SGC she had met Chris, a teacher on an exchange visit from England. She had been drawn to Chris because of her uncanny resemblance to Sam, something Cassie had since remarked on, but the differences in personality were just as remarkable. They had hit it off immediately and Janet had fallen hook, line and sinker. When Chris had returned to England, Janet had had no hesitation in joining her. She'd told Chris all about Sam and the feelings she would always have for her, but they had been happy, happier than Janet had thought possible. That happiness had resulted in Janet giving birth to a son, a year after they had met. Chris hadn't minded when she'd asked to call him Samuel, and Janet thought she would now always have her own Sam close to hand.
Life began to fall apart again eighteen months later when Chris discovered she had inoperable Cancer. Janet had been devastated, even with her being a Doctor, the brunette was unable to help her lover in anyway. They had married immediately, because Janet had wanted Chris to know just how much she really did love her. When Chris died just six months after the wedding, Janet had been distraught. If it hadn't have been for Cassie and little Sammy, she may have been tempted to give it up. Then, out of the blue, she had received a letter of condolence from Sam herself and things suddenly began to look up again. She now sat wondering, twelve months to the day from Chris's death, the ability Sam had for cheering her up in this way. The more she thought these days, the more Janet thought she ought to visit the US and catch up with her one-time best friend.
Somehow she felt guilty for thinking of Sam on the anniversary of Chris's death, but for some reason Sam was large in her mind today of all days. She couldn't explain it, but something felt so much brighter about her future. She got up suddenly knowing deep down that today was the day she needed to say goodbye to Chris and that chapter of her life. Also knowing that Chris would understand, that she had to start living for the future, for little Sam's sake as well as her own. Chris would always live on in their memories and their hearts, and she would never lose touch with Chris's family, but they had to move on. Maybe, just maybe, Sam could become a part of that future. She left her office with the intention of saying that goodbye and of finding a way to get back in touch with Sam.
As she left her office her secretary pushed her diary towards her and said, "Don't forget you have a consultation at 2.30pm". Janet's heart skipped a beat at the coincidence in front of her; her appointment was with a Mrs. S. Carter.
Two Hours Later - Janet's Office, England
As Sam walked into the office she knew it was the right one immediately. Centered on the wall in front of her was a large photograph of Cassie and a young boy. The secretary had told her to take a seat and make herself comfortable, which she did, allowing her eyes to wander around the room. Next to the photograph of the children was a photograph of Janet and a blond-haired woman at some wedding or other. Sam pondered whom the woman was, thinking how happy they both looked. As her eyes wandered further she saw a picture of herself and the guys of SG1, next to Janet's medical certificates on the far wall. She wondered to herself why there was a photograph of SG1 and not any of the other teams. Deep down Sam knew they had all had a special understanding that had not been repeated since Janet's departure. She smiled to herself as her eyes landed on the desk, just like Janet to have organized chaos in front of her. Again there were photographs and Sam wondered if she dared pick them up and have a look. Checking behind her she decided that yes, she could.
She was astounded at the first photograph she picked up. It was one of Janet, Cassie and herself. Why did Janet have a photo of her in such a prominent place? Sam remembered the day of the photo vividly; she had thought Janet was going to admit her feelings. They had been getting closer and closer, when Janet invited her away for the weekend, saying she had something important to tell her. The weekend had been lovely and then Janet had dropped her bombshell, saying she was leaving the SGC to take a post in a large teaching hospital. Sam had asked why, but had not been given a clear answer. Janet had just said it was something she had to do, the time was right.
Her memories cleared as she looked at the second photograph, where Janet, a blond-haired woman and a small blond-haired/blue-eyed boy smiled back at her. It was the same woman and little boy as were on the wall photographs. She assumed the little boy was Janet's son, Cassie had told her all about him, being enraptured as she was with her little brother, but the woman was a mystery. She looked so like the little boy, that Sam thought it must be some relation of Janet's husband, which would explain the likeness to the boy. The more Sam thought about it, the more she wondered where the photos of Janet's husband were. What was he called? Chris, she suddenly remembered.
Her mind drifted back to the day she had first received a greetings card with the message 'Best Wishes from Janet and Chris.' She remembered the gut-wrenching feeling of knowing Janet was with a man and she had been wrong all the time. During that year, Cassie had told her about Janet's pregnancy and the birth of a little boy. She had gleefully explained how Janet had called him Samuel, and for some reason Sam had been over the moon with this news.
She put the photograph down quickly as she heard a noise in the outer room. Her heart was racing and her stomach churning as she heard the room door open, but for some reason she could not turn around.
Janet had come back to her office 15 minutes late. The traffic from the crematorium had been awful, but she felt better for the slow drive, managing to get her mind back into gear for the following consultation. As she walked in, her secretary said, "Mrs. Carter is waiting for you, I told her to make herself comfortable in your office." Walking towards the door she again pondered the uncanny similarity of the name with her thoughts of earlier in the day. Reaching her office door, she pulled up with a start, the woman's resemblance to Sam Carter was uncanny too. 'Hell Janet,' she told herself, 'I'll be glad when this day is over, these thoughts of Sam are driving me insane.' Walking through the door, she almost keeled over with the smell that hit her right between the eyes. Janet thought that it was like seeing and feeling a ghost. The musky perfume was so unmistakably Sam that she just had to say it out loud.
"Sam!"
At this, Sam did turn around. As their eyes locked for the first time in six years, all she too could say was, "Janet."
"What the ... What are you doing here?" exclaimed Janet with utter shock on her face and in her voice.
Sam, who had been prepared for this meeting, was just as shocked. She explained, "I'm here for a conference and I couldn't miss the chance of seeing you to say how sorry I was to hear of your loss"
Slowly they moved towards each other and Janet, feeling overwhelmed, put her arms out for a hug. This done, they both sat down and just looked at each other.
Sam thought, 'I've missed her so much, she's still so beautiful, if a little sad looking' at the same time as Janet was thinking, 'I've missed her so much, she still radiates life but there seems to be some spark missing.' They just smiled at each other and stared.
Finally, the spell was broken with Sam saying, "I was sorry to hear about Chris, are you coping ok?"
Janet replied, "It's been hard Sam but I finally feel as if I'm getting there. How... how did you know, was it Cassie?"
"Yes, she called me, upset and needing to talk a few things through. I knew you'd moved to England with someone called Chris, but when she said Chris had died I was astounded and that's when I jotted that note to you. Was it sudden?"
"Thanks for that note Sam, it meant such a lot, and no, not really. We found out Chris had Cancer twelve months before, so we had time to prepare for the worse, but it still wasn't easy. Oh Sam, I felt so helpless I couldn't do anything to prevent it." Janet was amazed that she was talking to Sam so easily after all this time, she hadn't admitted that to anyone else but herself.
"He must have been really special."
"What? What do you mean?"
"He must have been really special," Sam repeated. "I mean you left the SGC for him, moved to England, and had his child," she said aloud. All the time thinking, 'while you just ran off and left me.' "So he must have been special." 'What's the matter with me,' she thought, 'I sound like a jealous little schoolgirl. Truth be known Sam, that's just what you are: jealous as hell.'
All the time Sam was stammering away Janet was thinking, 'She doesn't know about me yet. How can I tell her after all this time that I'm not what she thinks I am? Will she turn against me, because I'm not sure I can let her go again? Oh what the hell, I have got to tell her, so here goes.'
"I didn't leave the SGC because of Chris, we didn't meet till two years after and Chris wasn't ..." 'How do I put this?' She slowly turned the photograph around and said, "This is Chris and our son Sammy."
Suddenly everything fell into place for Sam, Janet's relationship was with a woman. She looked at the picture on the wall and said, "You were married?"
"Yes, six months before she died"
Something else clicked in Sam's head and although she had known for a while she had to say, with a silly little smirk on her face, "Did you say your son was called Sammy?"
Janet grinned and just said, "What?" Again their eyes met, and there was just something in the air. Nothing they could put their fingers on but enough to make Janet admit, "I missed you." 'Where did that come from?' thought Janet, 'my heart you fool it's the truth.'
Sam grinned and said, "Me too. Will you go out with me tonight? We need to talk."
"Oh Sam, I'd love to, but there's little Sammy to think of, I can't get a sitter at such short notice" Janet worried, wishing with all she had that she could just say yes.
"Well, how about coming to my hotel? They have a baby-sitting service, and my room is big enough for the three of us. You could have a few drinks with me too!"
Later That Night - Sam's hotel
They'd left Janet's office together and picked Sammy up en route. Sam was immediately enraptured with Janet's fair-headed young son, he seemed so like Sam herself, exuberant and full of life, that Sam couldn't believe her luck. She suggested taking him to McDonalds so that her and Janet could eat in private when Sammy was in bed. At McDonalds, the two Sams hit it off immediately.
Janet couldn't believe the effect Sam had on her little boy. 'He's been so subdued of late and now look at him,' she thought, as she watched him laughing and joking as if he'd known Sam forever. As they continued on to the hotel, Sam asked if anyone wanted to go for a swim. Little Sammy was straight away in the acceptance; Janet however declined adding that she would love to watch them though.
At the hotel Sam said, "You go and register the two of you to sleep in my suite, and I'll start taking Sammy through to the pool." She couldn't help but check Janet out as she lead the way into the building and up to the reception desk.
As Sam entered through the doors she was accosted by a young and very beautiful woman, "I missed you last night, where did you get to?" Sam looked up and immediately glanced towards Janet at the desk with a guilty look crossing her face. Janet noticed the look, which made her see the young woman for the first time. She was surprised when a jolt of something like jealousy went through her. 'Don't go there Janet,' she thought, 'who ever Sam chooses as her friend is Sam's choice.' Finishing the paperwork, Janet turned to head back towards the small group at the doors, and couldn't help but stare at the interaction between Sam and the young woman.
As she approached the group, Janet heard the young woman ask Sam if Sammy was her son as they were so alike. Sam looked up and gave Janet the sweetest of smiles as she replied, "No. This is Sammy, my best-friend's son, and this is my best-friend Janet. Janet meet Sue, she works behind the bar here."
"Hi Janet, pleased to meet you, your son looks very cute." Then giving Janet the cold shoulder she turned back to Sam and said, "Would you care to join me for a drink tonight?" Sam again blushed furiously and replied in the negative, saying that she already had a date. The woman left with a sad look on her face, and the three of them carried on to the pool.
After swimming they all sat around having a drink until it was time for little Sammy to go to bed. "Will you take me to bed Sam, I like you," said Sammy.
Janet and Sam smiled at each other and Sam said, "May I? Please?"
"Go on then you daft thing, I'll take our drinks into the bar while you're gone. " Giving her son a kiss and a hug she said in a husky tone, "Now you be good Sammy and don't keep Sam too long. It's my turn now"
Sam laughed saying; "Do I get one of those too," surprising herself as the words slipped out.
"Not till your bed-time and then only if you've been good," replied Janet, surprising herself as well.
Sam looked amazed and couldn't help but laugh. Little Sammy burst into laughter too saying, "Ooh, have you been naughty too?"
Sam winked at Janet saying, "Come on you."
'What am I doing flirting with Sam,' thought Janet, 'I must be mad. Its just like things have never changed. I love her, always have, always will I suppose, but what do I do about it? Shall I push things, she's only here a few days, if she's not interested or, god forbid, disgusted with me, she's going home and I'm no worse off. I haven't got her now and I won't have her then! Can I live without her friendship though? Even now, after six years, we're still good together, do I want to lose that?'
As her mind wandered, something hit her from off centre. 'Why was that young woman inviting Sam for a drink? Have I been wrong all along? Is Sam into women too? Have I wasted all this time? Hey Janet, that's not fair on Chris, you loved her, she loved you, and Sammy loved us both, it wasn't a waste of time.' Her thoughts went on, 'Oh Janet just admit it, you love them both and now there's only Sam left, so what are you going to do about it?' Her brain was beginning to overheat at the thoughts whirring around in her head, she looked towards the door hoping Sam would come and rescue her from her turmoil. Her last thought was, 'Come on Sam I need to stop thinking,' as her heart skipped a beat with the realization Sam was stood at the door to the bar staring at her.
While she wandered back down the stairs Sam too had been deep in thought, 'I still love her, always have, always will, and now I know she's gay as well what am I going to do about it? I don't want to scare her off, I've rally missed her friendship and I want that back, but I don't want to live without her now that I've got a chance of being with her.'
Sam stood for a moment, as another thought filled her head; little Sammy, ' I want to help look after him, I want to take care of him, I want him to want me around, I want him as my Son too!' Sam had never had maternal thoughts before and these were real eye-openers, but at least they were pushing her towards the risk taking idea of just telling Janet what she really wanted. Then she saw her, deep in thought waiting for her. Sam knew with such clarity that it hurt, that yes, she was going all out to win Janet, never mind the consequences.
Janet looked up as she felt the scrutiny, "There you are. I thought you'd run off with my son."
"Sorry Janet, he wanted me to tell him a story. He's fast asleep now though, no problems. He's lovely Janet, you and Chris have done a wonderful job with him" said Sam, and her heart glowed when she saw the proud smile on Janet's face at her comment.
"Thank-you Sam" was Janet's soft reply, "Shall we eat?" She stood up and Sam took her hand to lead her through to the restaurant.
The meal was wonderful as they talked easily together of the last six years. Sam talked about the SGC. She told Janet of Daniel's marriage, of Teal'c's relationship and of Jack's decision to live offworld with the mother of his son. Janet looked at Sam closely as she told her this and seeing no signs of any sadness she wondered how Sam really felt about the situation, she certainly seemed happy enough talking of the wedding and the fun they had all had at the reception.
"So, what about you Sam?" asked Janet, with a twinkle in her eye, "Any relationships I should know about? Are you settled down yet?" As she asked her question Janet studied Sam carefully and was surprised when she blushed slightly, 'Oh no,' she thought, 'there is someone, bang goes my chance'
Sam went quiet thinking, 'she doesn't know about me yet, I've got to tell her now or I'll never stand a chance.' She took a deep breath and reached into her purse. She brought out a photo of Jo and handed it to Janet saying, "I was married too Janet, but we split up twelve months ago."
Janet looked down at a beautiful brunette with piercing ebony eyes and was speechless. She looked at Sam and stuttered, "She's beautiful Sam. Why did you split? Are you coping ok? Who is she?" She knew she was rambling now, but she couldn't stop herself, the questions were just tumbling out.
Sam smiled at the jumble of words coming from Janet, thinking 'I got her there, well and truly stunned now.' "Her name is Jo and she left me for another woman", as she stared into Janet's eyes she muttered in barely a whisper "she said that I was still in love with another."
Janet caught the whisper and the catch in Sam's voice, she reached across and covered Sam's hand saying, "tell me about her." As Sam spoke, she pondered the revelation that Sam was gay too. What was it Jo had said? That Sam was still in love with another, had she felt the presence of Jack O'Neill too?
As Sam finished talking she was captivated by the intense look in Janet's eyes as she sat thinking of what she had just heard and she blurted out without conscious thought, the question that had haunted her for six years, "Why Janet, Why?"
Janet vaguely heard the question saying, "Sorry?"
"Why Janet?"
"Why what?"
"Why did you walk out on the SGC? Why did you walk out on me? What we had was so good and you just upped and went." A tear came to Sam's eyes as she finally voiced her thoughts of back then.
Janet didn't know what to think where had that question come from? She answered with tears coming to her eyes too, "Oh Sam, I'm not sure what you're saying but I just couldn't stand to see you with Jack O'Niell anymore, it was tearing me apart. I wanted you so much, and I just felt as if you were drifting away from me. So, I took the easy way out and I ran, ran away from all of the pain"
The silence was palpable as Sam digested exactly what Janet had said. They both realized that after six years they had finally admitted in a round-a-bout way what they had been feeling all those years ago. Sam was the first to react saying, "I never wanted Jack, I was always waiting for you"
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"Same reason as you I suppose. I was always scared of your reaction and somehow the time just never felt right."
The mood was broken by the appearance of the desk-clerk saying that Sammy was awake, and asking for a drink. Sam looked at Janet and said, "Can I go please?" Janet nodded giving Sam her most dazzling smile of the night.
Sam left to go and care for little Sammy, leaving Janet alone with her thoughts again. As she sat quietly at the restaurant table, she thought, 'Wow, who'd have thought it, Sam wanted me, but what about now, does she still want me? What about Sammy?' She smiled to herself as she thought how well those two seemed to have hit it off, 'maybe Sam and I can start afresh.' As she thought this she thought of Chris and her visit to the graveside this morning. Was it only that long ago, it felt like a lifetime ago with all she had heard this evening. Janet realized that this really was the closure of that time, and that now she should concentrate on making Sam and Sammy the focus of her future. She jumped as Sam touched her on the shoulder.
"Sorry I took a while, we had a little chat and then I had something to do. Listen." said Sam, as she indicated the DJ at the restaurants small dance area.
The DJ announced, "Janet are you out there, I have a message for you from Sam. So glad we've found each other again, will you dance with me?"
Sam held out her hands and raised her eyebrows in a question. Janet looked around, smiling as she took hold of the outstretched hands to be led onto the dance floor. They melted into each other's arms, as if they had always meant to be there. No words were spoken as they just enjoyed the comfort of each other. Janet looked up and pulled Sam's head gently down to her lips. But, just as Sam thought she was finally going to taste Janet's lips, Janet pulled away with a little sob. Sam took Janet back to their table and pulled her onto her lap. She held her tight, and just hugged her until the tears stopped, Janet finally mumbled "I'm sorry Sam, it's just...."
Sam put a finger to Janet's lips saying, "It's Chris isn't it, you feel as though you're betraying her."
Janet nodded, and said, "How did you know? I said Goodbye to her this morning and yet I still feel guilty."
"Hush Janet, don't worry. I've got all the time in the world."
Janet looked up and saw love shining back at her from deep in Sam's eyes. "Oh Sam, I'm sorry, I've always loved you but what I had with Chris was good too and I do still miss her dreadfully."
Sam smiled gently saying "Don't worry, I understand, I've lost Jo remember"
"So where do we go from here Sam", asked Janet.
"Well how about we go to bed and think about things in the morning", said Sam as she lifted Janet to her feet and directed her to the bedroom.
When they reached Sam's suite, Janet realized that there was only one double bed left. She looked at Sam and grinned, "So we finally get to sleep together do we?"
Sam also grinned and replied, "Yes! I've been planning this all night."
They laughed together and quietly got changed into their nightclothes. When they were ready, Sam held the sheets back saying, "After you."
They got into bed and just looked at each other. Janet smiled and said, at exactly the same time as Sam, "I love you, see you in the morning."
Sam's Hotel Room - The Following Morning
Sam awoke from her most restful sleep in months to find Janet wrapped around her sleeping peacefully. She looked at her with wonder and then glanced across to little Sammy, thinking 'now I've found her I'm not letting her go again. How have I lived without this?' Sammy woke up and Sam took him over to the window seat to tell him all about the SGC and her friends in the US.
Janet woke to the sound of her son and Sam giggling over some secret little joke. She looked over and was mesmerized with the picture she saw, thinking 'Now I've found her I'm not letting her go again, but how can we do this, I'm here in England and she's there in America.'
After enjoying a pleasant breakfast together Sam had asked if she could look after little Sammy for the day while Janet finished up at work, and then Janet had invited Sam to her house for an evening meal.
At the end of the evening, Janet looked at Sam and enquired when she was going home, not really wanting to know the answer.
Sam grinned and said, "I'm not! Well not yet anyhow, I rang work today and asked for one month's leave. I need time to get to know you again. I'm staying Janet, you can't get rid of me that easily." Janet looked thrilled.
"That's wonderful news Sam, we want to show you around our city and Sammy wants to show you off to his friends, and especially his Grandparents!" She laughed as she said this seeing the look of horror on Sam's face, "Don't worry Sam, Doc. Frasier will take care of you!"
"I know you will Janet, that's what I'm worried about," Sam muttered as she got up to leave. She walked across to Janet and pulled her to her feet. She took her face in her hands, and once she had the attention of Janet's eyes she said "I love you Janet and want you for myself, but I'm not going to let you forget your past, so how about we pretend we only met yesterday, and let me woo you slowly, and let me win your heart for my own"
Janet thought 'There's not much chance of you failing Sam Carter but bring it on' She said "That sounds wonderful Sam, I'll look forward to your wooing ways"
At this Sam bent down and kissed Janet deeply but sweetly for the first but not the last time. It was a defining promise of things to come and was to the both of them the start of the rest of their lives.
Janet's House - One Month Later
Sam had been true to her word, wooing Janet with flowers, candlelit meals, presents, sweet words, you name it Sam had tried it. Janet for her part had taken two weeks off work and they had spent the time on days out with little Sammy, sightseeing, picnicking and generally getting to know each other again.
The last week had been spent never apart, Sam had moved into Janet's guestroom for her last week in England. Both of them had not broached the subject of their relationship but both of them knew the time was nigh as Sam was going home tomorrow afternoon. They'd agreed to send little Sammy to his Grandparents, so that they could spend their last evening alone, and so that Janet could see Sam off at the airport. Sam was dropping Sammy at his Grandparents while Janet prepared their Goodbye meal.
As she prepared the food, Janet thought about her life with Sam this last month and her life without Sam the past six years. All at once she came to a decision and slowly went upstairs.
"Janet? I'm back, where are you? I can't smell much cooking!" babbled Sam as she came through the front door. "Wow!" she murmured as she came to a shock standstill as she spotted Janet coming towards her with two glasses of wine, wearing her bathrobe and not a lot else. The robe fell open with glimpses of all that Sam could ever want, she stuttered, "Janet!"
Janet said absolutely nothing, just approached Sam and took hold of both of her hands. She placed them under her robe and into the small of her back looking up into Sam's eyes with a wonderful smile on her lips. She whispered, "Well your wooing worked Samantha Carter, I've waited a long time for this moment, and I'm not letting you go until you want to stay!" She then proceeded to kiss Sam to the depths of her soul.
As their lips finally parted, she murmured "I love you so very much Sam, I always have and I always will. Please help me fulfil my longest held dream and make me whole again." With these gentle words she led Sam over to the waiting couch.
Later that evening, as Janet sat on Sam's knee, eating cheese on toast she said, "What are you smiling at Sam Carter?"
Sam replied, "Can't a woman smile when she's happy?"
They had spent hours making each other smile, until the growls from both of their stomachs had indicated they needed some other form of sustenance, hence the cheese on toast. Suddenly Janet laughed a throaty chuckle, "It's a good job you love me already, this is a truly remarkable goodbye meal eh?"
Janet realized Sam was crying and immediately pulled her to her saying, "What's a matter? Don't cry Sam."
Sam sobbed, "Janet, I so want to stay, but...."
Janet put her fingers to Sam's lips, stilling her words, "Don't say it Sam, I know we both have commitments to where we are now, things that we just cannot give up. It tears me up to let you go again but at least I know you are fit and healthy and surrounded by people who love and care about you. I want, with all my heart and soul, to be with you when it can be arranged, but for now we must part and fulfill our obligations. Just know this, as soon as you are on that plane, I am planning my way back to you. You sort your end out Sam, I'll sort my end out, and before you know it we'll be together again forever, And Sam, you can make an honest woman of me!"
Sam looked up surprised at this litany from Janet but never the less delighted, "Was that a proposal?"
"Yes, I suppose it was," said Janet with a warm smile.
"Can I?" threw back Sam.
"Can you what? a flummoxed Janet replied.
"Can I make an honest woman of you?" Sam chuckled.
"Yes, please, was Janet's contented reply. They burst into throaty laughter as they realized in their way they had both managed to ask each other that special question.
Sam looked at Janet with all the love in the world shining in her eyes, only to see it reflected right back at her, she whispered, "Now I know why I made the effort to find you again, that is the most precious thing anyone as ever said to me. I love you so much Janet Frasier, it hurts right hear in my heart. We will never lose each other again and I will wait with all the lights on until you find your way home to me."
All of a sudden Sam giggled, breaking the atmosphere immediately. Janet raised her eyebrows in silent query. "I can't cope with all this seriousness, don't you think you ought to make me smile again?" she asked as she began to softly stroke Janet's ribcage. Janet just grinned and proceeded to do just that, over and over again, enough to last each other through the long lonely nights ahead.
Twelve months later - Janet's office, SGC Complex
Janet sat in her office thinking about the last year. She had returned to the US three months previously, to set up home with Samantha Carter, and to start working at the SGC once again. She had been amazed when Sam rang to say they wanted her back.
The nine months before her return had gone by in a whirlwind of activity, and yet, they had been nine of the loneliest months she had ever had to endure. Knowing she was back with Sam but not able to be with her had been heartbreaking.
They had spent those nine months on the telephone, or that was how it seemed at the time. Whenever either one of them had a spare few minutes the phone lines across the Atlantic had been buzzing. Their bills had been exorbitant Janet mused but well worth it in the long run.
As well as the phone calls, they had managed to spend one week in every two months together, either hear in the US, or back in the UK where Janet was living at the time. They gradually let all their friends and relatives know about their growing relationship.
The first person they had told had been Cassie. She had been over the moon and, as she said to them, relieved that they had finally come to their senses. She had always known that 'my two mums' were meant to be together but had never known how to make it happen, and now, they had gone and done it themselves. Cassie was now living back near Sam and Janet and was a great help with little Sammy.
Sammy was growing up fast, and was due to start school in the near future. Janet was pleased that he had settled into the American way of life, and seemed to be getting on well with the other service personnel children. He loved Sam and, these days, never mentioned Chris. They had decided early on that they would not allow him to forget about Chris, but that they wouldn't force him to remember either, so now they just talked about her whenever the situation allowed.
Janet had made sure that Chris's parents had met Sam before they returned to the US, as she wanted Sammy's grandparents to remain a part of his life. She had been ecstatic when they took her to one side and gave their blessing to Sam and Janet's relationship. She filled up now as she remembered their exact words, 'She's lovely Janet, so like our little girl and yet so different. We can see how much you mean to each other and how much you both love our Grandson. We couldn't wish for a better second parent for Sammy.' She had hugged them both and assured them that they were always welcome at their new home in the US, and that they would visit England whenever possible too.
Janet had met up with Sam's family, being welcomed into their fold with open arms, as had Sam into Janet's family. All that was left then was to let their friends and colleagues at the SGC know about their newfound relationship. They had decided that there must be no secrets in their life, so on Janet's return they had addressed all the crew and come clean about their status. Many of the old hands had shown little surprise and everyone had just accepted the fact without any worries. Janet chuckled to herself, thinking about how times had changed when hers and Sam's relationship was not seen as something 'wrong' but something oh so 'right', and by god it was right.
She twirled her new wedding ring round thinking how complete and happy she really did feel. They had given each other the rings the day she had come home, intending to have a public blessing as soon as possible. Unfortunately something more pressing was about to happen and all thoughts of any blessing, or anything else for that matter, had to be put on the back burner for a little while.
As she thought about this more pressing engagement butterflies started in her stomach as always, even though they were so close to fulfilling their dream. It had all started eight months previously, when Sam had suddenly said to Janet that she didn't think Sammy should grow up an only child, seeing as how Cassie was so much older.
After careful discussion they had decided to try for a child themselves, as Sam said at the time, before they were too old. Janet had been astonished when Sam had pleaded to be the one that went through the pregnancy. They had gone back to the clinic Janet and Chris had used those years before and, before they could even blink, Sam had fallen pregnant at the first attempt.
Janet thought of how beautiful Sam had looked as she had gradually blossomed in size. Luckily she had also kept well and active, only finishing work a week ago, but, now, she was struggling and as was Sam's trait very bored. Janet worried about her continuously, so much so that this morning she had asked Daniel to call and keep her company.
So deep in thought was Janet she nearly missed the ringing telephone. After five or six rings the sound gradually filtered into her consciousness and she grabbed it up with a start. 'I don't want people to think I'm not concentrating on the job' she thought, as she answered with a sharp, "Doctor Frasier."
"Janet is that you? Where the hell have you been? Why didn't you answer the phone?" babbled Daniel in a worried tone.
"Whoa Daniel, slow down, what's the matter?" enquired Janet with a big grin on her face. 'Just like Daniel to panic about things,' she thought.
"You'd better come quick, it's Sam, she's started" yelled Daniel, with a tremble in his voice.
Janet's heart skipped a beat, she couldn't be it was only eight months term. "What, when, how," she panicked before her Doctor brain kicked in, "Are you sure Daniel?"
"Well her waters have just broke, and the contractions are coming every minute, so I think so yeah," gasped Daniel, "Are you coming or not?"
"Jeez Daniel, why didn't you ring before? Of course I'm coming," she shouted, as she began to gather her things together at the same time.
"Sam wouldn't let me, she didn't want to worry you, just hurry up," muttered Daniel as the line went dead.
Hours later Janet lay beside Sam in their own King-size bed, between them lay their new son, Christopher Joseph. Things were beginning to settle down after the excitement of the birth. Daniel had finally gone home, after letting the entire Universe know the happy news, or that was how it seemed to the exhausted but happy parents, as they waited to be left alone to enjoy the new arrival.
"Janet?" whispered Sam.
"Yes Sam?" enquired Janet in an equally quiet voice.
"Thank-you for being here and delivering our beautiful son on your own," said Sam with tears in her voice.
"Oh I wouldn't have missed this for the world Darling, you've made me the happiest woman on this planet," replied Janet with matching tearfulness.
"No, you've made me the happiest woman alive," threw back Sam.
Janet chuckled saying, "Well let's not argue about this we've got a whole lot of living to do."
After fifteen minutes of quiet reflection, in which time they both gazed adoringly at their son, Sam reached across and pulled Janet into a deep, deep kiss. "I love you Janet Frasier, do you remember that night at my hotel twelve months ago, when I asked the DJ to play a song for you?" she queried.
"I love you too Sam Carter and of course I remember that night, how could I forget? It was wonderful," sighed Janet.
They shared a tender smile as Sam continued; "Well do you remember the words of the song he played?"
"Sort of, but do remind me I want to hear your voice," pleaded Janet.
Sam began to sing in a quiet but meaningful voice, "Looking back on when we first met, I can not escape and I cannot forget. Baby you're the one, you still turn me on, you can make me whole again."
After a couple of seconds pause to let her words sink in, she said, "Well that's how I feel right now, whole again."
"Oh Sam, that's beautiful," cried Janet, filling up again, "Me too, you and our three children are all I'll ever need to make me feel whole again."
With that, and one more tender kiss, they both drifted off into a warm, contented sleep, knowing that they had finally got everything they had ever desired in their life, and that, whatever happened in the future, they would always have each other.
The End