DISCLAIMER: Rizzoli & Isles and its characters are the property of Tess Gerritsen, Janet Tamaro and TNT television network.
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Some Things Never Work Out The Way You Want Them To
This time of year was usually her favourite; the dark, cold months of winter had passed and the long, hot, summer days were yet to come. All around the city there were signs of new life; the trees had finally returned to leaf and the flowers had begun to open and blossom in to colour. It was known as a time for new beginnings and as Jane Rizzoli stood under the warm spring sun, just across the road from where the church stood, she too realised that this was the beginning of a new chapter in he life.
Minutes passed as she stood there and they were spent observing those who had gathered outside the doors of the church. There were some familiar faces, people she recognised from work and others being high ranking officials who she had come across while investigating past cases. There were also of course family members, some who she had seen more then others throughout the years. Things continued that way for a few more moments but it wasn't until a car pulled up and people began to wonder inside the church that she started to pay full attention.
Part of her wondered why she was even there, the dull ache in her heart was already painful enough but then it was even that or drown hers sorrows with a few beers. Although drinking herself into oblivion was probably the easiest and most painless thing to do, the detective also knew that it would only offer temporary relief from her thoughts. And despite how much she may not have wanted to be there, there was also something that couldn't keep her away either.
As the car door opened and the woman in the white dress stepped out, the detective was momentarily taken back; the radiant beauty that was Maura Isles never failing to render her speechless. She was unable to tear herself away from the vision before her and the melancholy that had been lingering around over the past few months was quick to consume her. She didn't even try to stop the few stray tears that slowly fell down her face as her conscious was bombarded with memories of what once was and images of what could have been.
Today Maura Isles was to wed Alexander Sutcliff, a high profile civil rights attorney and son of the city's mayor. Admittedly he wasn't a terrible guy and there were certainly no doubts about his affections towards the medical examiner but it didn't mean Jane had to be happy about him being the one Maura married. There was a time, not long ago that she dreamed she may have been the one standing at the alter waiting for Maura but then things happened, lives changed forever and Jane made the hardest choice of her life to let go of the woman she loved.
That had been almost 2 years ago and the closeness that the two of them once shared was now lost. However for one brief moment it returned 9 months ago when the doctor appeared in front of Jane's apartment door with a look of uncertainty on her face.
"Maura? What are you doing here?"
All rules of etiquette were forgotten as she brushed past the detective and made her way inside. Taking a moment to look around the living room, Maura noticed it looked pretty much the same as when she was last there. She rooted herself to a spot as she fidgeted with her hands trying to find the best way to get the words she was trying to say out. Jane for her part did nothing, seeing Maura in her home was something she thought would never happen again and it led to many a flashback of happier times.
"He asked me to marry him Jane."
Her head shot up and the detective not quite thinking she heard right, asked the woman to repeat herself.
"What did you say?"
"Alexander. He asked me to marry him."
"Oh" That was the only word that came out of her mouth as Jane stood there trying to take in the news she had just heard and come up with something to say.
"Well congratulations Maura, I'm happy for you." It wasn't a lie, Jane was glad that her former lover had someone who would care and look after her; it's what she deserved. Maura on the other hand was slightly taken back by the response, she'd been expecting something more then just a simple congratulation.
"Is that all you have to say to me?"
"Well what were you expecting Maura? For me to be angry, to say you're better off with someone else or how you should say no and come back to me instead?"
"Yes, quite frankly I was hoping you may have said something on those lines." For the second time since Maura had showed up on her doorstep, Jane was at a lost for words.
"I was hoping that such news would make you realise that you still want me, that you still loved me and that we could have a future together."
"Maura I I " She said nothing; instead Jane moved closer and put a hand up to cup the side of Maura face, noticing the unshed tears that were in her eyes. At such an action, Maura didn't hesitate to wrap her arms tightly around the detective as she finally let the tears fall.
Jane let out a contented sigh, having Maura in her arms again felt so right and as the woman buried her head into the crook of her neck, she breathed in the familiar fragrance that had always had a calming effect upon her. To feel the warmth of her love and compassion for but a brief moment was worth all the sorrow Jane knew she would feel later. She let herself believe for a moment that everything was back to the way it once was, and that she could actually live her life with Maura.
They remained in silence like that for a few minutes before Jane released the hold she had on the doctor. She gazed into hazel eyes like she had done on so many occasions and used her thumb to wipe away the remaining tears that were slowly falling down Maura's face. Neither of them wanted to move, both afraid that if one of them did the significance of the moment would be lost.
"I do love you Maura, so much but we are not meant to be. I need to let you go and move on, remembering all the good things we shared. So I want you to go back home to Alexander and you are going to say yes to him, get married and be happy."
"No buts." Jane leaned down and placed a gentle kiss to the woman's lips.
"Please Maura; let me let you go, please. I've never asked you for anything before but I'm asking you now. I am asking you to do this for me, for us." And with that Jane moved away and headed towards her bedroom, closing the door behind her.
That day changed them forever. Maura did as Jane had asked and now 9 months later here the detective was, watching her from afar on her wedding day.
As Maura stood smoothing out her dress and composing herself, she took a moment to take in the beauty around her; the warm sun on her face, the gentle breeze that tickled her skin and the sweet smell of spring flowers that reminded her of her childhood home. Her gaze settled on the familiar figure standing across the street and for the briefest of seconds she wished that the detective was the one standing inside the church waiting for her. Jane had turned her world upside down and although their time together hadn't always been easy, it had at least been happy. Maura was the woman she was today thanks to the detective and if things had been different, they could have lived their years out together, side by side but in the end it seemed that that was not the way it was meant to be.
Their eyes locked on to one another and Jane, despite all the sadness could do nothing but smile as she gave a small wave. Part of her still didn't understand why she was there, putting herself through it all. Maybe it would finally give her the closure she needed and ease the pain she felt but as their gazes lingered on one another and Maura smiled back, Jane realised that closure didn't exist; at least not for her anyway. She was going to feel this in some form for the rest of her life and regardless of how much it hurt, she wouldn't change that. It would serve as a reminder so she wouldn't forget about just how much Maura had truly meant to her.
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