DISCLAIMER: Mutant X belongs to Tribune, Marvel Comics and I think the WB, now. I don't know, they're not mine so don't sue.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Snagged the challenge from some other fandom. A hundred or a thousand theme/PWP. Or something like that. I don't usually do sex scenes so I apologize in advance if it sucks. Feedback, Flames, and Constructive criticism welcome.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.

Worth It
By Anne

Shalimar was sprawled along the bed beside Emma, the moonlight streaming through the window bouncing off of Shalimar's pale waves and reflecting the sparkle in Emma's baby blue depths. She propped herself up on one arm, resting her chin in her hand as she watched the psionic next to her. Her unruly waves tumbled around her face as she leaned forward to press a soft kiss upon Emma's slightly parted lips.

Emma smiled, shifting her position on the bed as she reached up to run her fingers through long sun-kissed locks, tucking the misplaced strands behind Shalimar's ear. Shalimar smiled, laying her head on Emma's shoulder as she snuggled into the younger woman. Emma's arms tightened around her, pulling her close as soft lips buried themselves in Shal's silky hair. The feral closed her eyes, a feeling of pure contentment washing over her.

It was the moments like these that made Shalimar stop and think. Her brain questioning the things she thought she knew, wondering if maybe Emma and she were more alike than they were different. They had always thought that it was the differences between them that made things interesting, but maybe they were wrong. Emma, with her auburn hair and bright blue eyes conveying a dark look that easily hid the gentle personality underneath. Her quiet and serene nature soothing in a way of its own. Her softness hiding her inner, darker powers, making her seem all the more innocent. Shalimar's feline femininity showing the wild and untamed woman to the world full force. Her golden brown eyes, her long blonde hair and vulnerable personality hiding the tough, protective woman underneath.

Oh, these two women were as different as night and day but sometimes, Shalimar couldn't help but notice all of their similarities. The way they immediately bonded with each other, they way they cared for the other team members. Their desire to save new mutants, to make the world a safer place. Coming to terms with their abilities, accepting the simple fact that they would never be normal. Their quiet understanding of the way the world actually worked; they both had scars from their pasts, wounds that would never heal. A hundred different things that made Shalimar think that they really weren't so different after all.

Emma's lips burned a trail of open mouthed kisses along Shalimar's neck, the soft lips scorching every inch of skin it touched. Shalimar tilted her head, their most common similarity resurfacing and she is once again reminded of the secret they're keeping. She is hiding the fact that she is in love from her best friend, the man she considers a little brother. Someone she loves more than her actual family. As Emma's teeth nip lightly at Shalimar's smooth skin, hard enough to arouse but gentle enough to not bruise the flawless skin of her lover; Their secret floats to the forefront of her mind again. She is reminded that she is not the only one keeping a secret. Another similarity. Shalimar is sure there are a hundred of them.

Emma is hiding the best thing in her life, the greatest thing that ever happened to her from her best friend. The young psionic is almost as close to Brennan as Shalimar is to Jesse. Brennan was just like her older brother, he was her best friend, her protector, her defender and her secret keeper. But this time, Emma had to keep her secret to herself. Shalimar knew it was probably hurting Emma as much as it was hurting her, but she couldn't stop dwelling on it. She knows that there are a hundred reasons not to tell, a hundred safe, logical reasons but it still doesn't stop the feral from questioning their motives. It doesn't make the guilt any easier to deal with when it's eating her up inside.

Emma's mouth moves back up, claiming Shalimar's lips with her own as she shifts their positions. Emma is now above the feral, her eyes staring intensely into Shal's as her tongue brushes over the feral's bottom lip, requesting entrance. Shalimar feels a hand brushing over her shoulder, small fingers pushing the nightgown straps away; a warm mouth and a teasing tongue following the same path before moving to the other side. Shalimar lifts her body slightly, just enough to allow Emma to remove the black silky material. Butterfly kisses begin covering her chest sporadically and when soft lips close over an already hardened nipple, Shalimar can almost forget their list of reasons. They no longer seem good enough.

No reason seems right anymore. Every moment spent with Emma must stay hidden, buried deep inside of the far recesses of Shalimar's mind. A hundred things she can never share, A hundred moments she'll never be able to recap with anyone else and A hundred touches that must stay behind closed doors. Still, Shalimar is closer to forgetting that list of reasons why.

Emma's teeth bite down gently, tugging on the rosy pink skin with her lips before a tongue slips out to soothe the bitten area, her mark on her lover fading quickly. With Emma's talented mouth and gentle touch, it's almost possible for Shalimar to block out the pained expression that would cover Jesse's young features if he ever found out. The look of pure grief in clear blue eyes if Jesse knew that the woman that he considered a sister was romantically entangled with the woman that he was just starting to fall in love with. Shalimar knew that Emma was no better off; the woman above her was probably doing her best to block out the same exact images. Shalimar thought of Brennan and she squirmed.

Brennan was no better than Jesse. He had confessed his love for Shalimar to Emma countless times, pleading with the psionic to help him. And Shalimar had spent a hundred nights holding Emma, wiping away her tears of guilt. A hundred reasons to continue hiding it.

Emma's fingers slid up Shalimar's leg, her nails lightly scratching the pale flesh of Shalimar's inner thigh. Shalimar arched her back, offering herself to Emma as she squeezed her eyes shut. A small whimper escaped her mouth and she reached up a hand, locking her fingers in Emma's hair to draw the other woman's mouth down to hers.

Shalimar can almost imagine the look of betrayal on Brennan and Jesse's faces if they found out how long the women have been hiding their relationship. The pure heartbreak on Jesse's face when he realizes that the one thing he wants is so far gone; he'll never be able to grasp it. The look of fury in Brennan's eyes when he realizes it, the rage boiling over as he fully comprehends the extent of their little secret. Jesse will be sad, Brennan will be furious. Brennan always hated secrets more than anything.

Shalimar kissed Emma harder, desperately focusing all of her attention on the woman above her. It didn't block anything out though. Emma was thinking of Adam's reaction, their connection to each other so strong that Shalimar felt and saw just what Emma did.

The trust on the team would be broken. Adam would be crushed if he found out. He had warned them all long ago against falling for someone on the team. They already had too much to deal with, their missions were already too dangerous for friend turned lover emotions like jealously and overprotectiveness to take over. The risk to Sanctuary was too great. Shalimar knew Emma agreed but they couldn't reveal it now. It would be the one blow that Mutant X wouldn't be able to recover from. They couldn't possibly survive all the lies and the betrayal of broken trust would be the downfall of the team; rebuilding would just be out of the question.

Another moan slipped past Shalimar's parted lips in a gasping breath as Emma's fingers slid through her slick folds, parting them. Shalimar arched her hips as Emma's thumb glided teasingly over Shalimar's clit, two fingers entering her easily and setting a slow rhythm. Emma's head lowered as she felt her fingers being surrounded in warm, wet heat, her mouth attaching itself to Shalimar's neck.

If only they weren't so selfish at the beginning, if only they had ignored the hundred fears consuming them; the outcome might have been different. If only they were brave enough to tell the truth from the beginning, the hurt might have been lessened. The damage that they'd no doubt do would have been fixable. Part of Shalimar wanted to blame them. How couldn't they have seen? A hundred looks, a hundred casual touches speaking volumes more than words ever could. A hundred hugs that lasted longer than they should have, a hundred friendly kisses on foreheads and cheeks that lingered just a little too long.

Shalimar's legs wrapped around Emma's back, pulling her against her body and simultaneously pushing Emma deeper inside of her. She ran her fingers through Emma's baby fine locks of hair, pulling her head up to meet her mouth and sending Emma's hair cascading down around them. Emma's tongue slid along Shal's bottom lip, before tasting her mouth intimately. Her thumb pressed harder, finding just the right spot and Shalimar gasped, closing her eyes tightly. The tears burned the back of her eyelids, pushing out and falling down her cheeks as her orgasm washed over her. Emma held her close, kissing away each and every tear as it slipped out.

A hundred things she could never share, a hundred moments kept locked away secretly, and a hundred touches hiding in the dark for a hundred reasons she could no longer define.

Emma's lips touched her briefly in a sweet kiss before she rested her forehead on Shalimar's. Golden brown orbs flickered open to meet baby blue.

"I love you." Emma whispered softly, snuggling down into the feral.

The love radiating off of the psionic curled in her arms made Shalimar smile and she pressed a kiss to Emma's forehead. "I love you too." She responded honestly, knowing that it was more than true. Emma was her love, her heart, her life.

In the end, a hundred lies, a hundred tears and a hundred secrets all for more than a hundred kisses was definitely worth it.

The End

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