DISCLAIMER: Rookie Blue and its characters are the property of Morwyn Brebner, Tassie Cameron, Ellen Vanstone and Global. No infringement is intended.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: So I may have become slightly obsessed with Gail and Holly. So I absolutely had to have a go at writing about them. Especially when the new season is so far away. Anyway, have a read, and let me know what you think.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
FEEDBACK: To debinho23[at]hotmail.co.uk
SPOILERS: The end of Season Four.
it's a curious wanting thing
Loud. Irritating, almost siren like. What the hell is this noise? Holly fights against the tiredness and the noise in equal measure. As much as she would like her brain to decipher what on earth this noise is, the last thing she wants to do is open her eyes, and give into reality, she really has had the best sleep.
Eventually the noise wins out; it is of course the alarm on Gail's phone. Yet the smaller woman hasn't succumbed to consciousness yet. Holly reaches over the slumbering blonde and smacks the phone until the disgusting noise stops. She leans back onto her pillows, and allows herself a second to take in her current situation.
They appear to have shifted positions in the night, they had started out last night with Gail basically sprawled on top of Holly, but now, Holly was spooning the younger woman, their legs still entwined. Holly had, she remembers been holding Gail's hand as she woke up, but the battering the cell phone just took put an end to that. She places her arms back around the still sleeping form; grabbing her hand once more and settles back down. Content.
That is until she hears a huge sigh emit from the not so asleep woman in her bed.
"Jeezhe Hol. You didn't even snooze. Anyone would think you want to get me in trouble."
Gail had of course been woken by the alarm too, but she just felt so comfortable in Holly's embrace that she couldn't bring herself to move. Even in her tired state she can't help but tease the Forensic Pathologist. Holly rolls her eyes, this woman never stops.
Gail stretches and turns in the bed so she comes face to face with the brunette. The few hours' sleep she just had felt like they were spent in a coma, best sleep ever.
Holly smiles as she reciprocates. "Morning."
Gail leans upwards and gives her a peck on the lips. Holly accepts the kiss gratefully, but she can't help but think that she's being a massive wuss. Apart from the cloak room kiss at the wedding, which was basically a non-event, well compared to their more recent soirees anyway; Gail has initiated every kiss. If she's being honest, Holly is scared, scared of being rebuffed, her visit to the precinct yesterday afternoon has really cemented this fear of rejection in her. As much as she like's Gail, she's very aware that up until this point in her life she has been dreadfully straight, and it terrifies her, because she knows her heart is fragile, and she's not sure it would be worth 'getting' Gail, if it meant losing her at some point in the future.
"Hey what are you thinking about?" Gail can tell Holly was a million miles away just then, the other woman snaps back to reality, and can't help her grin as she sees the worried expression looking back at her.
"You." With that Holly leans down and kisses Gail. So what if she gets hurt, she's almost certain it will be worth it.
The kiss grows, and they both lose themselves to it. Gail eventually pulls back. "You really are trying to make me late aren't you?"
Holly flops back onto the bed. "I'm not trying to do anything; I don't have to be a work for another couple of hours."
Holly smiles smugly, Gail who has lifted herself from the bed and is currently heading towards the hallway smirks back at Holly, she has no idea what the brunette is smiling at. "Don't get too comfortable, I need a ride to work."
Gail saunters out of the bedroom, the grin has definitely fallen from Holly's face she glances over at the clock on the bedside table, and whimpers slightly when she sees the big red numbers mocking her. 6.45am. Urgh. Coffee is definitely going to be the order of the day.
The playfulness had continued throughout their getting ready this morning. But now it's 7.15am, and Holly is driving them towards 15 division, and Gail feels as though the air is getting thinner the closer they are getting. She hasn't heard anything about her two stricken colleagues; she assumes this is a good thing. Holly has done such a good job taking her mind off of things, but now reality is about to hit home, hard.
Holly pulls into the parking lot. Nerves strike both of them for different reasons. Gail because she's about to step out of 'Holly world' and back into the real one, and that means facing all those fears from last night again. And Holly because she's not sure what her role is anymore. She was needed last night, now what? She's brought from her thoughts by Gail stating to speak.
"I don't want to go in there."
She continues looking straight ahead. Holly's focus now firmly on her.
"I liked the little world we were living in last night." She chances a look over at the brunette.
Holly swallows her disappointment; this is not missed by Gail, who wonders what she's said to upset her. She's about to find out, Holly slaps a brave smile on her face.
"Yeah, it sucks when you have to step back into reality huh."
Gail gets the double meaning. She can understand why Holly has interpreted it the way she has, but she wishes she hadn't, she lets her mind wander back to the precinct yesterday. The truth is Holly caught her by surprise, in front of Chris, and in front of her brother, she froze.
Holly is starting to feel rather uncomfortable, mainly because Gail hasn't exited the car yet, and is kind of staring at her. She decides to let her off the hook and give her an out. "So I guess I'll see you around."
The uncomfortableness emanating out of the usually affable female increases ten folds. Gail would find it funny if she wasn't so bemused by what Holly just said, did she just try to brush her off? She reaches out and places a hand on Holly's leg, which makes the brunette stop fidgeting with the steering wheel and look over at the younger woman.
"I don't know what's going on with us Holly." Gail is abundantly aware that she's not very good at this but she powers through anyway. "But I do know that I like you. As much in the real world as I did in the amazing world we created for ourselves last night."
Holly exhales, relief pours out of her. She's in too deep already; she smiles over into those piercing blue eyes, which are glistening with mischief. "See you around? Really?" The disbelief in Gail's words is clear.
She can't contain her laughter anymore. Holly feels kind of embarrassed but honestly she's far too relieved to let it consume her. Gail jumps out of the car before leaning her head back in.
"I'll call you later nerd."
She slams the door and wanders off in the direction of the building, taking a deep breath, ready to switch to work mode, there's that fear, that worry again growing in every inch of her being. She silently prays that Frank or someone, anyone, has some good news about Sam and Chloe.
Gail has been in the changing room for approximately 5 seconds before Traci appears with a ridiculously excited smile on her face.
"Have you really got a smile that big on your face when two of our friend's lives hang in the balance?"
Well Gail really knows how to kill the mood. Traci actually feels a little guilty, which is not missed by Gail, who in turn feels awful at her little 'joke'. But she is terrified that Traci is going to bring up Holly and she'll have to attempt to explain what's going on between the two of them, and she's not sure she's ready for that, she's not sure she can.
After Gail's most recent barb Traci is not going to let her get out of this, she was going to take it easy on her regarding Holly, no chance now.
"Well you're a little ray of sunshine this morning Gail. Did you not get much sleep last night?" The smirk hits Traci's face again, the look of pure fear on Gail's means Traci forgives her earlier snark. The fear is only there for a second, before she smirks back at her friend. Touché.
"Well you where there when I was stepping out of the hospital at close to 2am this morning, and its barely 7.30am now, so I think we both know that in fact I did not get much sleep last night." Gail is satisfied with her answer, and continues to adjust her uniform.
Time to try a different tack. "So Holly seems really nice? I didn't know you two where that close?"
"You and Holly have never said two words to each other. Ever."
"That's not true." Traci struggles over her words. "I've spoken to her lots, at the lab."
"Nice try." Gail isn't playing and Traci knows a wall going up when she sees one.
"Obviously we're not as close as the two of you; we haven't got to the hand holding stage yet."
Gail doesn't know how to react, she doesn't want to be embarrassed, because there's no way she's embarrassed of Holly, she not sure she's quite ready to discuss it with Traci yet though, or to put it correctly, she's not sure she's ready to be teased about it yet. She decides her next course of action will be to head to conference room; she just leaves the changing room and her friend standing in it.
"Aw come on Gail, give me something." Traci frantically follows her friend out of the locker room. She guesses she'll have to wait until the Penny late, drunk Gail will definitely spill something at least.
It's now 8pm Gail is exhausted. Holly is still at work, but so far today that is the only piece of bad news. Sam is not completely out of the woods, but he's stable, still in a coma, okay that's not great, but he's stable. Chloe woke up, not only did she wake up; she woke up and chose Dov; and finally, Oliver was released earlier, just a few cuts and bruises and a mild concussion, better than that, he's feeling okay enough to join them at the Penny for a couple of drinks, although he's apparently under strict instructions from Celery to make sure it is only a couple.
That's where Gail is now; she steps over the threshold of the Penny and takes in the view before her. Traci, Steve, Oliver, Andy, Nick, and Chris, all laughing and joking. Dov is at the hospital still with a now conscious Chloe. Gail meanders towards the table, causing the rest to halt their drinking and look up at her expectantly. She surprises them all by smiling, before she moves towards Oliver and dives on him, kissing him on the cheek.
She turns back to the rest of the group who look at her like she's grown a second head.
"What I can't be happy my friends are okay?" Gail shakes her head and heads for the bar. There's the Gail they know and love.
She returns quickly nursing three shots of tequila, after downing the first one at the bar; she plonks herself down next to Steve and Traci and immediately regrets her decision when she sees Traci's face light up. She glances over the rest of table, and realises this was probably still her best choice, Nick is locked in conversation with Oliver, and Andy looks miserable, Chris is sitting next to her, but she's obviously not in the mood to talk, so he's just nursing his beer.
Gail turns back to her brother and his girlfriend and she's surprised when it's Steve that speaks. "No Holly?"
"She's at work still." Gail takes a breath, and one of her tequila shots, Dutch courage. "Are you okay with this?"
Her stare is firmly on Steve, she knows without doubt that her friends will support her, that's what they do, but Steve is family, it's different, and she needs him to be okay. Her older brother smiles.
"I dunno Gail, what exactly do I have to be okay with?"
Gail looks at Traci, who tries frantically to hide her grin. She has her brother well prepped. Another of the shots disappears.
"I don't know exactly myself yet. But possibly something." Steve can't believe quite how worried she looks.
"Hey, if Holly's the reason, for this nicer, huggier, little sister, then I'm all for it."
"Great, it's you're round." Gail smiles and Traci laughs out loud, before shaking her empty glass at Steve. Unbelievable, he heads to the bar.
The party has been going strong for a couple of hours now. Gail has done the rounds, she's has chatted to Oliver, he really is one of her favourite people, and she is delighted he is going to be fine. She has played darts with Chris and even let Nick join in for a while, tried her best to fend off more girly chat with Traci, and text Holly who has promised to leave work as soon as she can, although after the amount of work she missed yesterday loitering around the police station, making sure Gail was okay, and at the hospital being there for Gail, she has a lot to catch up on.
But now there's only one person she hasn't really mingled with, and she looks over at the table, at Andy, she's not sitting at the table alone, Traci and Steve are sitting at the other side, but Gail can tell that she is lonely sitting there. She hasn't been herself tonight; she looks like she could use a friend. Gail is a little drunk, okay a lot drunk, and decides she's going to talk to her, which really isn't in her nature. She plonks herself down next to Andy, who's surprised at the invasion of her personal space, a half smile appears on her face, when she realises its Gail, they used to be friends.
"Hey." Gail takes the tentative first step. Holly really is messing up snarkiness.
"Hey." Andy looks awful, tired and upset; she's barely keeping it together here.
"Sam's going to be fine you know." Wow, Holly really has a lot to answer for; she can't help herself with the niceties.
"I'm sorry." That's not really the reaction Gail was expecting. Before she has a chance to question it, Andy sets off into a rant.
"I'm Sorry. I know what I did with Nick was way out of line. And I never really apologised for that." Gail's not sure where this has come from, but she lets Andy continue.
"But I am truly sorry. And now it looks like it was all for nothing, so really it wasn't even worth it." Andy seems to have an epiphany, she grabs Gail's arm. "You know if you wanna get back with Nick, that totally wouldn't be weird for me."
"Well it would for me." Gail can't hide the shock from her voice.
"Well I'm just saying I would be okay with it."
"Yeah well I wouldn't. Trust me, me and Nick, that ship has sailed, long gone." Gail is as emphatic as she can be.
"Does that mean you and Sam?" Gail lets the question linger in the air.
Andy is struck by the fact that this is the longest conversation she and Gail have had in months, years even. "I guess all of this, has made me realise just how much I still care about him."
"Yeah nothing like a tragedy to make you realise who you really care about." Gail muses.
Her attention is caught by a certain beautiful brunette walking through the door, and the fact that Holly is frantically searching for her, makes her heart swell. The smile that hits Holly's face when she sees Gail makes her heart hit bursting point. The change in demeanour doesn't go unnoticed by Andy, who immediately turns around, she has to see who has caused this reaction in Gail. She recognises the woman, as the one that collected Gail from the hospital that day.
"Ooooooh, so that's what you meant by 'real friend'." Gail rolls her eyes. "You meant 'special friend'."
Gail has instantly had enough of this conversation, so without further delay, she leaves the table and Andy, and makes her way over to the waiting woman.
"They don't bite you know." She takes pity when Holly gives her a confused look. "My friends. You could have come over."
Gail had noticed that Holly had spotted her when she entered the Penny, but made no effort to move towards her or the group.
"I just wasn't sure if you wanted me to meet them." Holly looks at the floor.
"You've already met them." This is technically true; she has met the majority of them through work.
"You know what I mean."
Unfortunately she does, and again she can trace it back to yesterday afternoon, when she basically shunned Holly in front of Steve and Chris, she thought she'd put that particular problem right when she introduced her to Steve and Chris later that day, obviously not.
Gail feels like she needs a grand gesture of some sort, she looks back over to the group, it seems a few of them have had their interested piqued by the arrival of Holly, in particular Steve Traci and Andy. She looks back to Holly.
"I missed you today." Gail says honestly.
"I missed you too."
That's all Gail needed to hear. She rises slightly onto her tip toes, and gently searches out Holly's lips with her own; the other woman submits to the kiss instantly, the gentle kiss soon turns a little heavier, then a lot heavier; it only stops when they are greeted by a chorus of wolf whistles from behind. Gail pulls away and looks over at her friends and her brother, yuk.
"Shall we get out of here?"
Holly is as embarrassed as Gail is. "Yes please."
Gail grabs her hand and they head straight back out of the door that Holly entered literally about two minutes before.
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