DISCLAIMER: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit and all characters are
property of NBC and Dick Wolf.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story is dedicated to a friend of mine, Marisol Almestica and the woman who has her heart. She requested the storyline. I hope it works.
SEQUEL: To Olivia's Father.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
The Fight of her Life
By Alexi Ross
While Olivia was talking to Arthur Langdon, Alex received a call from Trevor, who she had once dated. Hearing of her return to New York, he was eager to renew his friendship with Alex and asked if she would meet him for dinner. Just for old-times sake, she agreed and they met at the Bolo lounge. Alex was eager to chat and catch up on what was happening at the D.A.'s office so Trevor seemed an unthreatening friend. Little did she know, Olivia just learned that she and Trevor were brother and sister...nor did Trevor know.
However, he had heard of Alex and Olivia's relationship, and was, to say the least, a bit jealous. He had grown extremely fond of Alex while she was working for the city and often wished for more than just friendship. But somehow, her love always alluded him. It wasn't until he learned of her relationship with Olivia that he realized "why."
Going directly to Alex's office, Olivia learned where she was dining and went to the restaurant. However, just as she arrived at the lounge, Alex and Trevor exited. Seeing them together, knowing they had dated, sent a deep pang of jealousy through her heart, stopping her in her tracks--unknown to Alex.
However, Trevor saw her across the street and purposely distracted Alex. Seeing his chance, he reached down and kissed Alex, who was so stunned by the move, she reacted slowly to push him away.
Quickly, she set him straight, and told him she was not interested in that sort of relationship. When he saw Olivia turn away, he told Alex that "if she ever changed her mind, he'd be there for her."
Olivia walked all the way back to the station with tears streaming down her face. It seemed hours. And, all the way, she cursed herself--thinking she had been a fool. Her worst fear had come true. Alex had finally met a handsome young man, and worse still, he could be her half brother--a thought she loathed. She'd always considered him scum, but now, he ruined any chance of ever having a relationship with her. And, as for Alex, she swore, it was over.
By the time she reached the station house, she had made up her mind. Their relationship was dead, just as it was when Alex was gone. She decided it best just to end it, before Alex could get a chance to. So, when she called later that afternoon, Olivia told her not to call again. When Alex cried and asked "why," she said, "I just don't love you anymore." And, ended the call by saying, "I hope you and Trevor will be very happy together." Suddenly, began a new chapter in her life.
Around eight, most of the squad had already gone home. Olivia was working at her desk when Elliot prepared to leave. So tired, so angry, she lay her head down on the desk and wept silently, arousing his curiosity and suspicion.
"Liv," he asked, "what's going on? Aren't you going home or is Alex out of town?"
"We broke up!" Olivia growled, not bothering to raise her head. "I don't care if I ever go home again," she said.
"What happened?" Elliot inquired. "I thought, you guys were happy."
"It's been a long day, Elliot. Just drop it alright!'
Seeing she was both angry and hurt, he decided it best not to leave just yet. Sure Olivia had been through many rough times and she always just shook them off--even the death of her mother--but losing Alex, for sure, would kill her.
"Did this have anything to do with Arthur Langdon?" Elliot continued interrogating her. "I'm not leaving until we talk about what's bothering you."
With that, he sat back down at his desk and propped up his feet on the corner. She knew, if she didn't give him something, he'd persist and bug her all night, until she spilled it.
"He says, he's my father," Olivia finally raised her head to look at him. "And what's worse, he's also Trevor's father. Trevor...," she paused, "the bastard who I saw kissing Alex today!"
"Damn. Wouldn't have seen that coming!" Elliot was shocked. "What kind of kiss was it?"
"All I know for sure is, she didn't exactly run away from it."
"But you did?" Elliot asked.
"I did what?" She asked, uncertain of what he was saying.
"You didn't even confront them. Did you?" Elliot shook his head. He knew how easily she jumped to conclusions and ended up getting hurt sometimes.
"No," Olivia replied, "and I'm not going to, either. I don't want to hear some petty excuse about "how" or "why" this happened. I just don't want to think about it anymore. Why is it always the people you love most that hurt you most?" She asked rhetorically, "Anyway, let's just drop it!"
With that she lay her head down again, making Elliot worry all the more. It wasn't like Olivia to just give up. And, she shouldn't give up now, not without a fight. He thought, for sure, Alex loved her. After all they'd been through together, he was certain, it would last between them. He was sad for them both. And to think, Alex was kissing Trevor Langdon. And, the same Trevor Langdon--the scum bag defense attorney--was Olivia's brother.
"God," Elliot griped, "is this Halloween or April fool's day?"
His reaction brought out a much needed laugh from Olivia. But, it was short lived amusement. When she raised her head, suddenly she felt dizzy and sick and the room began spinning. Right away, Elliot noticed, her nose was bleeding.
"Liv," he jumped to her side, "you all right?"
Quickly, he reached to hand her the tissues that were kept on the desk for weeping interviews, but before she could get it, she suddenly became very sick to her stomach. Reaching for the trash can instead, she began to puke.
Elliot was scared out of his mind. As soon as she stopped throwing up, he gathered her coat and things and shuffled her off to the emergency room. There, she was admitted for tests, and stayed for a couple of days. Her red blood count was extremely low, and doctors were grim. Soon, Olivia was given terrible news. She had chronic leukemia. And, even though, it was in its early stages, it could be devastating. The best treatment for now was a blood transfusion, so Olivia agreed. And, it helped. But, it was no cure. The doctors told her the only sure thing was a bone marrow transplant, from a sibling or parent was the best bet. But, she had none, or otherwise, none that she would dare ask. She'd rather die than ask Trevor for anything. And, as for Arthur, the verdict was still out. Her chances of finding a match were slim to none.
After only a couple of days of rest, Olivia was some better and against the doctor's wishes, she decided to go home. And soon, she was back at work, fighting off the worried eyes and questions of her colleagues. No one spoke of Alex anymore, and she was sure Elliot had already filled them in on the details, so she didn't speak of her either--despite the fact, she refused to take her messages and return her calls.
And, Alex was worried sick. So sick, in fact, she quit her job and went back to Newark to stay with her mother. When Olivia said, she hoped, she'd be happy with Trevor, she knew what Olivia must have seen, and why she was acting this way. She desperately wished to explain, but Olivia was making it impossible. She hated how stubborn and bullheaded Olivia could be, but she was also just as stubborn. And, she had no intention of giving in and admitting to something that wasn't true. She did not love Trevor and never would. She loved Olivia! Nothing, neither time nor space of separation, would ever change that. But, if Olivia wanted it to be over, she would go along with it. Nor did she believe for a second that Olivia didn't love her anymore. She just couldn't, rather, wouldn't accept that.
However, after the cold treatment from the desk sergeant, Alex finally quit calling and leaving messages. She resorted to calling Elliot, who frequently and privately kept her up to date on Olivia. He was fiercely protective of Olivia, and though he wasn't aware of it, consciously, he blamed Alex for Olivia's sickness. When Olivia began looking and feeling stronger, it became easy for him to dismiss Alex's feelings and side with Olivia. He didn't tell her about Olivia's illness.
However, Olivia was terribly sick. And her brave face worked only for a while. She was weakening constantly. Every week that passed brought more problems. Slowly but surely, she was dying. But, she chose to ignore the symptoms and focus on getting on with her life--while she still had one. She was determined to live as best she could. As for Alex, she determined to forget. At any mention of her name, she bolted. Alex was history, and she made no effort to beat around the bush about it. But, secretly, she knew, she would always love her. After a while, she found it easy to remember the good things about her, but she was, literally, miserable. At times, dying--compared to living in misery--didn't seem like such a bad thing.
Cragen was the one who told Alex about Olivia's illness. Seeing Alex downtown one afternoon, they quickly struck up a conversation. Inadvertently, he mentioned that Olivia had been in the hospital again. And, of course, Alex pursued the topic. She was devastated by the news. Knowing how strong and tough, Olivia always seemed, she found it difficult to believe. Her heart was broken once again. Worse than being without Olivia was knowing that Olivia was sick, and she couldn't be by her side to help her. No, Olivia was too stubborn and angry to even let her near her. At some times, Alex loved her intensely at an almost unbearable capacity, while others profusely wished her to go to hell! She was determined then to go on with her life, without Olivia, and, do the only thing she could, "pray, and pray hard."
In the weeks to follow, Olivia contacted Arthur Langdon again. She asked if he would submit to a DNA test to prove or disprove whether he was her father, and told him about her growing need for a bone marrow transplant. He agreed wholeheartedly. And, the test proved he was her father, but sadly, he was no match for the transplant. Still, Olivia had mixed feelings about whether or not to accept him as a father, or even try to get to know him better. She lived with the story of her mother's rape for so long, she couldn't easily accept it to be untrue...even with a letter in her mother's handwriting. And, her heart wasn't strong enough to be broken again.
When Trevor found out about Olivia, he passed it off with a bit of complacency. He really didn't care one way or the other--whether she was his sister or whether she lived or died. After, Serena, (Olivia's mother) broke it off with his father, Arthur married his mother and soon he was born. There was no wrong doing and no one to blame. However, he silently mused at the fact that both he and his biological sister loved the same woman. "Must be inherent," he concluded. And, since he kept in touch with Alex, he was overjoyed about their breakup, and pursued Alex intently. He swore, vainly, someday, he would marry her.
But to Alex, he was a friend, no more than a shoulder to cry on. She thought of him as a big brother--even though, he made his feelings crystal clear. They saw each other regularly and people began to accept them as a couple. And, Alex began to indulge in the bottle much more regularly than before, which worried Cecille, who could only sit helplessly and pray for a miracle. It seemed, Alex had fallen apart and totally lost her mind. And, of course, the farther she fell, the more she needed Trevor's company. She saw him as a knight in shining armor, not yet seeing his dark side.
It only took a bottle of wine and a few moments of lost inhibition for Alex to end up in Trevor's bed. By then, being without Olivia was almost unbearable, and the comfort of Trevor was nothing more than a quick fix. But she was sickened and ashamed of herself for being there. All the while he made love to her, she thought of Olivia. It wasn't difficult. After all, he and Olivia were quite similar in their behavior. But Alex didn't know just how close they really were. Neither Trevor, Olivia or any member of the squad told Alex that Trevor and Olivia were siblings.
In the morning, Alex went home and left Trevor forever. Ending their friendship was not difficult for her. Though, she didn't consider that he raped her, she thought, he took advantage of her drunken delusion. As she saw it, a gentleman would never have had sex with a drunk woman. His appearance was no longer pleasant to her, and she clearly saw his true character. Even though he protested and even had the audacity to cry, she dumped him flat. And swore, she'd never see or think of him again.
But only a few weeks later, she was given an eternal reminder of that one night. After being sick for a while, she saw her doctor, who informed her, "she was pregnant." The news hit her like a bullet. She was devastated. Thinking, he must be mistaken, she ordered him to perform the test again. Laughing, he informed her, there was no mistake.
Unsure how to react, Alex went home and, directly, informed her mother. At first, she considered abortion. But, she could never have an abortion. She had, consciously, chose to have sex, so she was not going to abort the product of that choice. In her mind, there was no real choice. She was having a baby, but she promised herself, she would never tell the father. As far as she was concerned, he didn't deserve to know. He was a jerk who pretended to be her friend just to get her into bed. Of course, that was only human nature. But, Alex felt nauseous when she thought of sex with him. And, she was afraid, he would use the child as an excuse to further pursue her. She just didn't have the patience or strength to allow it.
Cecille promised all the help she could, and the pregnancy was not a difficult one. Alex didn't even gain much weight, just a small oval shaped protrusion from her belly--one that she kept concealed in the seclusion of her home. Not that she hid the fact, but she didn't broadcast it. She was wealthy enough to give the child anything necessary. Alex remembered the stories about Olivia's mother, and knew how lonely Olivia had been as a child. She swore, "her child would never feel unloved."
During the nine months of Alex pregnancy, she didn't contact any member of the squad. However, at times, she drove into the city in her mother's limo, and waited to see Olivia, either outside the station or her house. Sometimes, she felt ashamed of herself, knowing it was "stalking" behavior, but she worried. It was the only way she could see her without being seen. She didn't want Olivia to know her secret. There was no need hurting her more.
Two years slowly drifted by. Alex gave birth to a dark haired, dark eyed daughter, who she loved immensely and named Olivia Anne, after Olivia and Cecille--the two most important people in her life. She was the sweetest little thing, quickly bringing new life to the old Cabot mansion. In some weird way, Anne actually resembled Olivia, though Alex considered that a product of her wicked imagination.
Bringing up Anne was not the pain or displeasure that Alex had imagined. Each day, she loved her more, and spoiled her rotten. By two, she earned the reputation "terrible." Prone to wild temper fits and tantrums, Alex found it more amusing than annoying. That was probably something Anne inherited from her. But, the more she grew, the more obvious, she was something special. She was beautiful, but she definitely didn't owe that to the Cabot family. In fact, she looked nothing like them at all. Both Alex and Cecille were blonde and blue eyed. Anne was an exact opposite. No one outside, had they not known, would even suspect she was Alex's daughter.
Soon, Alex found herself wishing to see Olivia again. She was getting older, and being alone was becoming more difficult with each passing year. Surely, by now, Olivia would agree to see her. And, she was dying to know if Olivia's health had improved. With that in mind, she made a trip into New York again. This time, however, Olivia was in no shape to object. Hospitalized for acute anemia, she couldn't push Alex away, even if she wanted to. And, she was growing tired of trying.
Not surprising, Elliot and Cathy were sitting in the room when Alex entered. Beside her, holding tightly to her hand was little Anne. Elliot stood up and drew her into a slight hug when she entered. Cathy nodded hello, not wanting to wake Olivia. Being used to children, immediately Elliot greeted the little girl, who boldly stuck out her hand.
"Pleased to make your acquaintance," the little girl spoke with surprising ability for her size.
"The pleasure's all mine. I'm Elliot," he replied softly and winked at Alex. "What's your name?"
"Olivia Anne Cabot," the child belted out, before Alex could answer for her. "But, everyone just calls me Anne."
"This is my daughter," Alex told him. She could feel a blush creeping up her neck and face as she spoke. "She's two, soon to be three." Alex quickly pointed out, remembering how Elliot accused her of sleeping with Trevor before it ever happened.
At that time, Olivia opened her eyes and squirmed a bit, grumbling slightly at the brightness the light presented to her eyes. Looking around, she saw Alex and without realizing, a smile spread across her lips.
"Want me and Cathy to take Anne outside while you girls talk?" Elliot asked Alex quickly. "She's very weak, so try not to upset her," he informed Alex. "Doc says, if she doesn't get a transplant soon....," Elliot just shook his head and didn't finish the sentence.
"Sure, I understand," Alex nodded. "Sweetie, go with Elliot and Cathy," she told Anne. Like Olivia, she trusted Elliot completely. Besides her own father, he was the best man she'd ever known.
The child took Elliot's hand gladly and smiled up at him. Quickly, he noticed how unlike Alex her features were, and wondered if she were adopted. Cathy followed them outside to the waiting area.
"Hey," Olivia spoke in almost a whisper, "it's been a while."
"I've missed you," Alex burst out. Tears were filling her eyes as she looked at the pale face and nearly lifeless body of her one true love--her soul mate. Taking her hand, she sat down on the side of the bed, and leaned forward to plant a soft kiss on her forehead, then brushed her bangs aside lovingly. "So, how you feeling?"
"They tell me I'm sick," Olivia laughed softly, which only brought more sobs from Alex. "How you doing?"
"I'm o.k. I have to be." She replied. "But I just can't go on this way...I don't want to be away from you anymore."
Turning her head slightly, Olivia found the grit to be her defying self. No matter how doped she was, she could still remember seeing Trevor kiss her. And the pain in her heart was as sharp and deep as if it were only yesterday.
"So, how's Trevor?" She asked rudely.
"How the hell should I know?" Alex jumped to her own defense, then felt guilty about being angry. "Please, let's not get into that."
"I guess, it's not so bad," Olivia answered. "At least, when I'm gone, someone will be here to take care of you."
"Olivia," Alex spoke while gripping her hand tightly. "Don't talk like that! Look at me," she ordered, now annoyed by Olivia's stubborn attitude, even while facing death. "You have to know the truth. I can't carry on this way anymore. Please......just listen," she begged.
"Tell me," Olivia spoke weakly, turning back to her.
"There was never anything between Trevor and me. After you dumped me, I made the mistake of trusting him. And, he took advantage. Now, I have a little girl, who for some reason, reminds me of you--every single time I look at her. I guess, it's because I've never loved anybody but you. I never will.....,"
"Well, I'm not much to love anymore," Olivia interrupted. "I'm dying. And, I don't want your pity!"
"Uh, hum!" A voice from the door chimed in. "Alex," Elliot whispered, "Anne's crying for you."
Alex nodded, and Elliot motioned for Cathy to bring her back inside the room.
When Anne ran to Alex's side, Olivia's face lit up. She was beautiful in her little blue dress. And, her features were striking. With her dark hair and eyes, she could easily be her own child.
"Hi," Olivia put on her bravest smile for the little girl. But truth be known, she was scared. Her illness had become the fight of her life.
"Hi," Anne replied softly, suddenly feeling very shy and clinging to her mother, but was quickly drawn closer by Olivia's sweet smile and soft voice, "You're Olivia. I'm named for you," she said innocently.
The admission brought tears to Olivia's eyes, and again she turned her face towards the window. Afraid of wearing her out, Alex decided it was best to leave.
"Sweetie, wait outside, just for one more minute. O.k.?" Alex pushed her gently back toward Elliot.
"I'm sorry. I'll go and leave you alone. You need your rest. Is there anything, at all, I can do for you before I go?" She asked her.
"No, I'll be all right! I just need to rest." Olivia replied.
"I'm not going away!" Alex blurted out as she often had as a child--in a sudden temper fit. "Like it or not, I'm staying where I can be close to you. You pushed me away because I let someone kiss me, and I've spent the past three years hating myself and trying to forget you. But I won't do it anymore. I'm gonna spend whatever time I've got left trying to get you back--whether you like it or not! Just lay there and think on that!"
With that she straightened her shoulders and walked out. Olivia couldn't help but feel relieved, and drifted off into a sweet sleep with dreams and memories of Alex fresh in her head, as if it were only yesterday. Deep inside, she was happy again, and it felt good. She had been ready to give up, but now she wanted to be strong again.
Outside the room, Elliot and Cathy waited. Elliot was eager to speak with Alex about Anne. In any other circumstance, the child's father would have been none of his business, but when it came to Olivia's life, nothing else mattered. Drawing her to the side away from the child, he questioned her.
"Alex, we need to talk...now," he said, unsuccessfully trying to conceal his eagerness. "Who's Anne's father? Is it Trevor?" He blurted out the questions rudely.
Unsure of where he was going with his questions, she had a few of her own.
"What difference does it make? He's not in the picture. Why is it any of your concern? I have no intention of hurting Olivia," she said thinking he was trying to protect her.
"It's not about that," Elliot blurted out quickly, "it's about helping her!"
"What do you mean? I'd do anything to help Olivia. You know that!" She said.
"Then why not test her?" Elliot asked immediately.
"Test her for what?"
"Oh, my God! You don't know!" Elliot was shocked by Alex's unusual lack of information. Had she really been gone that long?
"Olivia needs a bone marrow transplant!" He said. "A close family member would be the best match. So, far they haven't found a match."
"Well, that I know!" Alex answered. "But what has that got to do with Anne?"
"You really don't know! Do you?" He asked.
"Know what? Elliot, I'm not in the mood for games. Just spit it out!"
"Alex, I don't know how to tell you this. Actually, I'm surprised you didn't know. But Trevor's Olivia's brother. If Anne is his daughter, then she might just be the answer to our prayers."
"Good Lord!" Alex exclaimed, suddenly possessed by an overwhelming relief and hope. "Trevor and Olivia....how, when.....did she find out?"
"It was the day she saw you together," Elliot told her. "He didn't tell you?"
"That bastard knew?" She asked angrily. "And, NO, he didn't tell me!"
Suddenly feeling like a complete fool, she ran to Anne and swooped her up in her arms and hugged her tightly, planting kisses on her sweet little face. Deep in her heart, she knew, Anne was the answer to her prayers--the prayers she prayed every day for Olivia to be well again. And, she was.
The End