DISCLAIMER: I actually own these characters!
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
Full Of It
By Vanessa Riverton
CHAPTER 5 – ME, OH MY
It's been ten minutes since Ashley left the room without a word. I'm left sitting here, aching to tell her about Michelle.
God, Michelle was a great first time.
Before I can relive that pleasant memory, the door opens and Ashley enters, slowly sauntering over to me, her arms crossed and her eyes cold to me.
"So... Michelle Duncan. My guys have done a run on her... she went missing in your junior year at high school. She doesn't exactly fit your MO. Now, usually I would not be even remotely interested to hear you babble about yourself, you self-indulgent prick, but... her family needs closure, even after all this time. And you're going to give them just that."
I can't help but smirk at the look on Ashley's face. She's having to hold back so much and, oh God! I would hate to be her, to have her job; having to hold back from whatever it is I wanted to do. I couldn't bear to live an existence like it.
Not one bit.
I take in a deep breath and release it slowly and I note the clenching of her jaw.
"She was my first." Ashley quirks an eyebrow at me after I've spoken and semi-smirks, clearly trying to hold back on saying something. Perfect.
"So, you've said."
Our eyes lock once more and I can't help but notice the whiskey colour of her eyes, and how they're solely focused on me.
Just the way I like it.
"I was seventeen when we met. Michael was going to a party being held by some stupid college friends he knew up in Ithaca and naturally he was dragging Victoria along with him."
"Devon! Dude, there you are."
I raised my eyebrow slowly and turned with little urgency to Joseph as he ran across the school yard to reach me by my usual spot under the large tree by the high school field.
It had been two years since we started this damn school and I still hated it as much as the first day, there was no redeeming feature about this place. Not a single fucking thing.
My parents were so sure that sending me here would do me good, but they were wrong. Having Victoria and Michael thrown in my face daily only sent my anger raging. To a level I never knew could exist.
Well, let's just say that since that day at Victoria's party the number of stray cats in New York have miraculously decreased.
Yes. I was still doing that. Although now it wasn't as long and drawn out. It was quick, like taking a line of coke. I just did it to get it out of my system.
Thinking back it's probably a good idea I never voiced my wish to have a puppy. Lord knows if 'Rover' would have made it past his first birthday.
Anyway, back to the matter at hand – that being why 'Asshat Getty' is rushing to me; well, Joseph and I aren't exactly friends, but I have become more amicable to him, for no other reason than he has matured and doesn't anger me half as much as he used to. We're acquaintances at best.
I know Joseph is here to see me about the so-called 'freaking awesome party that Omega Phi Beta are having' tonight.
He's convincing me to go so he can go.
Michael is a dead cert for NYU and the particular fraternity holding the party off-campus are basically gagging for him to join them when he starts there next year and now Michael's going and dragging Vicky along. Victoria wants me to come, but I don't want to go.
Now Joseph has taken on the task of being my very own personal fucking annoyance until I give in.
"Dev! Man, I know! I know what you're going to say but please hear me out!" I waved my hand dismissively as I leaned my head back against the trunk of my tree; failing his ability to convince me to go to his stupid party at least Joe would say something incredibly amusing without meaning to, making up for this entire conversation. Or, you know... his existence.
I felt him land ungraciously on the ground opposite me.
"Okay, look I'm not gonna be lame and beg you to go for me, 'cos I'm not that dumb and I know you never would," I opened my eyes and stared at him, "But I do think you should go. Vicky really would like you to and I know! I know! I shouldn't go there, but think of this... Dev, you're pretty hot."
I don't think my eyebrows could have gotten any higher on my forehead even if I tried.
"I beg your pardon, Joe?" I smirked as I watched a slight blush erupt across his face.
"Grr, don't make me say it again!" He looked at me and I cocked my head expectantly. He sighed and flailed his arms, "Okay! You're hot!"
I couldn't help myself... I began laughing.
Hard.
I was holding my sides as I laughed. I was laughing so hard I wondered if I would die from a lack of oxygen.
After a few moments, I stopped and looked over at Joseph who was just shaking his head and looking at me exasperatedly.
"Sorry, Joe... do go on... where were you? I'm hot right?" I snickered once more as he went beet red.
"Ha...ha... you're so funny, Dev! But yeah you are... and I think you should come to this party for your own benefit." Joseph must have seen the confused look on my face because he continued talking.
"I'm just saying that... that you need this Devon. I know for a fact that several girls at school, several hot girls, have asked you out and you've said no to each and every one of them. Now, I know why and dude honestly, I think it's admirable and all that you want to save yourself for Victoria... but her and Mike are an institution for Christs's sakes'. Three years they've been an item, Dev. Don't you think they've – "
"No. Victoria would have told me." Joseph cocked an eyebrow and looked me square in the eye.
"Would she? Really?"
I dragged my eyes away from Joseph and over to the familiar table of jocks and Barbies', and saw Victoria, sitting on the bench, Michael was on the table behind her and the blonde object of my affection was sitting comfortably in between his legs, her hand tracing light circles on his knee. I furrowed my eyebrows' as Joseph followed my gaze before looking back at me.
"Maybe... she has and hasn't told you Devon. It's not unlikely."
I glared at Joseph before bringing my hand to my face and rubbing my eyes tiredly.
"Where is this going, Getty?" He sighed at the use of his surname being thrown in.
"She's not into you man, I know I used to think she was... but she's just not man. I'm sorry and I hate to see you pine after her. Come to this party, meet a hot older girl, flirt - if you even do that... and lose yourself for a night. Not asking anything of you, but man... there's no point in holding on forever."
I glanced back over to the table and saw Victoria was staring at me; she smiled and waved towards me.
Nothing had changed, I still don't wave or smile back, but she knows that now. I turned to Joseph and sighed before standing up and brushing off the grass from my clothes.
"Fine. I'll be there. I'll pick you up at nine."
"You're picking me up? Ah, Dev that's awesome, your ride is so sweet!" I just nodded before holding out my hand and helping Joseph up.
"I'm heading to homeroom, you coming, Dev?"
"Whatever." I walked alongside Joseph in silence back to the school.
As we walked past Victoria's table, I heard her call out for me, I stopped in my tracks and slowly turned around, no doubt there was an un-amused expression covering my features; after Joseph's implication I didn't really want to talk to Victoria, but I didn't have a choice when she outright called for me, now did I?
"Dev! Are you coming tonight?" Vicky gave a quick glance to Joseph who was smiling idiotically. I put my hands in my pockets and stared Victoria straight into her eyes before I spoke.
"Yeah, I am." There was a silence and I saw Victoria jump up and down happily on the spot and she opened her mouth to talk to me but before she did I lifted my wrist and looked down at my watch.
"I've got to go. I'll see you tonight." I paused for a moment and caught Victoria's hurt expression at my cutting her off but she just nodded slowly.
I turned on my heel as I heard Joseph mutter out an apology to Victoria.
He's such an idiot.
It's only 7:32pm, but I insisted on showering now. I spent all of two minutes picking out my usual garb to wear for tonight. It's a kegger party no doubt so the barbarians will most likely be wearing a toga fashioned from a soiled bed-sheet – how charming, so naturally anything I choose will be a step up in class.
But tonight... as I said, I spent two minutes picking out clothes. That's one minute and 55 seconds more than I usually spend on picking out my clothes.
After what Joseph told me earlier, I decided that there would be no harm in dressing a little differently tonight.
Usually I'm in dress pants with a shirt and blazer but I'm no stranger to femininity. It's just not often I feel the need to embrace it. But, I decided on a different outfit; hip hugging dark navy Evisu jeans, with a sleeveless V-neck top that stopped just short of the waistline of my jeans and to add my own flair, I decided to wear the practically untouched dark blue boots hiding in the deep, dark recesses of my closet.
Now, I'm in the shower, going over everything.
I'm tempted to just call Joseph and call the whole thing off... but then to face Victoria and see the disappointment in her eyes as to why I didn't show up... and even though I was being a moody bitch earlier, I could tell she was happy I'd be showing up tonight.
Who was I kidding? I was definitely going... once I had told Victoria there was no going back.
It's time to get into my ritual, which I know I will make only more thorough and time-consuming now I'm apprently out to impress tonight.
I stand for a few minutes under the nearly intolerably hot water's spray and let it contact harshly with my face; even with my eyes and mouth closed, my nose crinkles at the feel of the water.
I dipped my head down slowly and let the water wash over my hair and glide slowly over my body. I pushed my hands firmly up against the cool tiles that lined my en-suite bathroom and let my entire being become absorbed in the heavenly indulgence that was my personal sanctuary.
Soon, my lungs began to feel overwhelmed from the heat emanating from the shower and I leaned forward and pressed my forehead to the cool tiles in front of me.
After taking in several deep breaths, I move backwards and turn my head upwards, and let the release of water flush my face once more. Turning on the spot, I closed my eyes as the water steadily beat down on my neck and back.
I reached out and took the shampoo from its place on the tiered wall shelf beside me and washed my hair thoroughly with it, letting my nails lightly scratch over my skull as I lathered up my hair a second time to be as scrupulous as I always am.
As soon as I had finished conditioning my hair, I decided to use the lemongrass and aloe vera scrub instead of my usual vanilla mousse, it would all be apart of my more 'feminine' approach tonight.
Once I had finished, I wrung my hair out in the shower before sliding open the door and being met with the inevitably gust of cold wind that hit my body; I shivered before reaching for the plush tan towel that was waiting for me.
I wrapped it around my body and walked out of the bathroom that was adjoined to my room. The warmth I yearned for returned to me momentarily as I wandered into my room, the oak flooring under my feet squeaking gently as I padded over to my bed. I sat down on my bed and leaned my head forward, beginning to feel the annoying pangs of an oncoming headache. This always happened when I thought about her too much.
Shrugging off the headache, I decided that I would get ready and go to this party; if the worse comes to worse and I don't like it, I can just leave – I don't drink that often to be honest and a kegger won't change my mind about that. Failing that, it's not like I'm short on cash for a cab.
I absentmindedly dried my body as I thought about what tonight would probably entail; bad music with the sole intent of getting couples grinding shamelessly against each other, beer pong and watching people I know make fools out of themselves... wait, that last one didn't sound too bad.
I spare a glance over to the mirror above my chest of drawers that's dead opposite my bed. I often look at my reflection but I don't think I've ever stopped to just look at myself; in detail, I mean.
Standing up, I approach the mirror, standing as close as I can without stumbling into the chest of drawers.
I dropped the towel and heard it land with a soft thud beside me.
My eyes are focused on their own reflection, taking in every aspect of colour on show; a very light emerald green, with specks of light hazel lightly outlining my pupil and they seem to shine with an eerie brightness that almost takes my breath away.
I manage to risk taking my focus away from my eyes and let my gaze linger onto my face. So far, puberty hasn't been a cruel mistress to me; my eyebrows are meticulously groomed fortnightly by a woman named Christine who works at the beauty salon my mother visits almost daily.
My button nose isn't too short or too long, and it isn't wide nor too narrow... it's... it's just right. For me anyway, and that leads down to my lips... I've never really thought much about them but one of the admirers in the freshman class did tell me I had 'totally kissable' lips.
Loser.
High cheekbones give me a more feminine appearance to counter my admittedly more androgynous features.
I take in a deep breath, content so far with my appearance.
I leisurely run a hand through my now soaked dirty blonde hair and manage to repress the smile that wants to leap to my face. Instead I let my eyes slowly wander down the rest of my form; my eyes stop at my collarbone and watch almost mesmerised as a single bead of water trickled painfully slowly downwards, glistening in the soft light of my bedroom and against the slight tan of my skin.
My eyes widen slightly as I take in the sight of my own chest and almost instinctively I raise both my hands to shield myself and prevent my eyes from lingering onto my own breasts for too long. After closing my eyes and taking in another deep breath, I chance another look and find myself not half as embarrassed as I thought I would be.
My hands slide down over my stomach and my smirk magically re-appears as I feel the smooth skin covering the slightly taut muscles that I usually keep hidden under my clothing.
I shake myself out of my fine self-appreciation. I think I'll draw the line at my waist today.
Over an hour later, I finally managed to dress myself after spending fifteen minutes debating on whether or not I should use a cologne or perfume for tonight. I decided on a nice blend of both; Chanel Allure pour Homme and Chance pour Femme.
It seemed somewhat fitting considering what Joseph said apparently should be my goal for tonight.
It's 9:15pm and I've parked outside of Joseph's house.
Correction; I've barely parked outside Joseph's house before the idiot comes bounding out of his house just like a puppy who needs to go toilet and its walk is an hour late.
I roll my eyes as he ungraciously bounds over the top of my convertible. He grins at me as he sees my glare.
"Hey, Dev, if God didn't want me to enter your car that way, he would not have invented convertibles.... man, I'm still trying to convince my parents to get me one. They're intent on some beat up Mazda, but I told them I wanted a Lotus Elan like you, but do they listen to me? – "
"Do I care, Joseph?" He opens and closes his mouth before snickering to himself.
"Ya never do. Man, you're heartless. Oh wow, you look like a girl today. A hot one." Ignoring his comments, I put the car into gear and begin our drive uptown to the party.
Around halfway through our drive, I can sense Joseph sending glances my way while he annoying fiddles with the radio and I can't help myself from smacking his hand.
"Don't touch my radio." He pouts and looks like I just kicked his puppy;
"But Dev, we need partying music man! We need something to pump it up!" He makes a final swipe at my radio and soon the car is filled with a song I've never heard but Joseph starts doing some stupid dance in his seat.
"Uh huh, yeah baby! That's my song!" I roll my eyes at his behaviour and I hear the lyrics from the song fill up the car.
"Return of the Mack! Here it is! Return of the Mack, yes my lord!" Joseph's obnoxious voice fills my car and I sigh as I press down on the accelerator.
There was no fucking way I was having Joe Getty sing off-key for a thirty minute drive – no freaking way. We were getting there in ten.
End of.
It's funny when you arrive at one of the finest educational establishment's premises in the country you think that you're going to be around like-minded people.
However, when you turn up and there's twenty cars parked out front and four people all vomiting at the same tree with a throng of 'frat boys' chanting 'upchuck!'... well, that's when you start to doubt the people who compile the list of these so-called 'elite' universities.
Joseph chuckled at my expression as soon as I parked in the only free spot opposite the house.
"Dude... relax! Now, c'mon, this is a college party... and that means hot, willing college girls!" I narrowed my eyes at him
"Don't you mean hot, drunk college girls?" He laughed at my words before he took of his seatbelt and shrugged.
"Same thing right?" Every time I'm around this boy I swear I find a new reason to roll my eyes and think very little of him. Now is no different to any other time.
We both walk over to the door, which is ajar, and instantly the smell of stale alcohol, cheap cologne, vomit and, I swear to God, urine hits me in the nose immediately. I clench my jaw to prevent myself from gagging and I close my eyes tight before opening them.
They stung from the overwhelming mix of chemicals in the room; who knew that such a mix of products not used for industrial cleaning could cause so much pain to the eyes?
"Wanna beer, Dev?" Joe grins at me, I can tell he's eager to get his hands on some beer and act a big man and I know he's out to get some action or at least impressive one very desperate female.
One with incredibly low standards at that.
"No. Just get me a Mountain Dew if they got it. If not, don't bother." Joe just nods as he begins his way over to what I assume is the kitchen.
I look around and all I can hear is music blaring from the sound system, and there are countless bodies on the main space being used as a dancefloor. Girls are shamelessly grinding their asses into boys, and some girls with other girls, and there - hello! Girls with girls?
That gets my interest, for sure.
There were a group of about six girls dancing together, and they seem mostly just friends... but there's just one girl.
This 'One', and she's leaving lingering glances over some of the other finer females in the room.
I kept my eyes on this girl, she's a bottle blonde – you'd hardly notice though - but she's not your typical girl. She had this cockiness about her that oozed more sexuality from one glint in her eye than most girls can when they're rubbing up against your crotch in a desperate attempt to get you hard.
I was so immersed in watching this girl, the way her light golden hair fell about her flushed face, and the way her deep, brown eyes shone bright and she bit her lip when she saw someone to her liking... I was so immersed I didn't even hear the three people approach me and talk to me – one of them shoving a Mountain Dew into my hand.
"Dude, were you even listening to me?" I didn't break my gaze from the girl to talk to Joe.
"Do I ever?" I heard him exhale sharply before mumbling.
"Har har. Anyway, look who I found!" I turned my head and saw Joe beam as he stepped aside and presented Victoria and Michael to me.
Vicky flung her arms around my neck; her hair smelt of vanilla and honey.
"Dev! You did come!"
"Not yet." I narrowed my eyes at Joe but ignored him. Victoria was here and I gave a small smile to her before nodding to Michael.
"Yeah, well, I'm out to have fun tonight." I spoke with such insincerity that both Victoria and Michael laughed at me. Vicky shook her head and smirked at me;
"You? At a frat party to have fun? I'm pretty sure it was for a quiet life away from him." Vicky gestured to Joe as she spoke her last word and I nodded.
"Yeah, pretty much." Joe made an indignant noise before taking a long swig of his beer and bravely throwing an arm around my shoulder.
"Dude! You totally agreed to this because we're gonna fix your problem!" My mouth hung open a little... either Joe was an idiot or had a ridiculously low tolerance for alcohol. I turned to Vicky and saw she was furrowing her eyebrows in confusion.
"Your problem? What problem?" She gave a small smile to me showing it was meant to be taken as a concerned friend asking a question, but I could sense that yearning in her eyes.
She just had to know.
About me.
I shrugged my shoulders and frowned at Joe; he smirked and took a drink from his cup. Victoria looked at him then me again before she raised an eyebrow.
"What's going on here? Devvy?" I opened my mouth but instead of talking I decided to take a swig of my Mountain Dew, and after swallowing it I gave a small, self-satisfied smirk to Victoria. She sighed and took Michael's hand.
"Fine, if you're both gonna be like that then I don't care."
She walked away in a pissy mood and instantly I felt guilty.
Joe patted me on the back softly; I turned to glare at him but stopped when I saw the truly empathetic look on his face.
"I... er, I shouldn't have commented in the first place. Sorry man." I didn't have the patience to throw my misplaced anger onto Joe at the moment so I just shrugged and looked away.
"It doesn't matter. She would have asked anyway... and I would have avoided her question then she would have probably been drunk and pissed off." I took another swig of Dew and looked over the room. My eyes locked with a pair of chocolate coloured eyes.
I smirked as I realised it was the girl from earlier. And she was looking at me.
I knew that look.
I had secretly given that look to Victoria a thousand times, and here I was as the recipient of said look for the first time in my life.
I looked over my shoulder to double check I was the looks' true intended receiver. As I turned to face this girl once more she grinned at me before holding up her hand and gesturing me over with her index finger in a 'come, hither' motion. I shook my head and gave a small smile.
I took a sip of my drink and looked around once more. As soon as my attention was brought back to the dancefloor my vision was obscured by the presence of the girl from just moments before.
"Wow, Dev, you're like a magnet, huh?" I gave a fiery glance to Joseph and he smirked sheepishly before he shuffled into another area of the room. I turned back to the very attractive girl in front of me.
"Hi." Her voice was slightly husky and instantly it made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end... and my stomach to get butterflies for a split second. I'm not sure if my face showed the shock of my body's reaction to this girl's voice but if it did she never let on about it.
"I'm Michelle... you a friend of Steve's?"
"Steve?" She giggled at my confused expression.
"Steve's the head of the frat house holding this party. I take it that's a no then." I smirked at her attitude. It was just the right amount of sassy... she reminded me so much of... Victoria.
"I have no idea whose place this is. My friend just guilted me into coming here." Michelle made an 'O' with her mouth before looking over my shoulder, giggling and nodding. She raised her hand and pointed over my shoulder, I turned and saw that Victoria was glaring at me, and Michael on her arm looking as bored as ever.
"That the friend by any chance?" I turned to face Michelle and gave a solemn nod to her. She smiled and shrugged.
"Well, she's not my problem. Wanna dance?" I simply shook my head at her question;
"I don't dance." She quirked one eyebrow and looked me over once – I felt my body's temperature raise substantially high.
"You don't dance? Well... what do you do... er...?" She trailed off at looked at me expectantly. I felt my hormones giving in to her coffee coloured eyes;
"Devon." She smirked at my name and licked her somewhat dry lips.
"Hot. Come on, let's dance, and I'm not taking no for an answer."
This girl definitely reminded me of Victoria. She dragged me by the hand over to the dance-floor, a constant smirk on her features. As soon as she had me in the middle, she took the drink from my hand and handed it to some random person nearby who took it without complaint. She took my hands and wrapped them around her waist. My eyes widened as I realised she was controlling me. Making me be more closer than I wanted to be... but I didn't fight it. I wanted this closeness to someone. Someone who wanted me... someone who looked and reminded me so damned much of her.
I leaned into her and breathed in her fragrance; she smelt foreign to me. Not the scent I knew so well of Victoria. No, and that was when my mind registered this was not Victoria but an impostor. Someone I was trying to replace her with – and I didn't feel bad for it, not at all. After all, she had Michael, she didn't care about me in that way clearly... and as much as I hate to admit it, Joseph was right – I needed to lose myself for a while – if only for one encounter with a complete stranger.
Would it be so bad?
My train of thought was abruptly stopped by a particularly lustful grind into my crotch from the girl dancing with me. Well, dancing may be a stretch, perhaps drescribing what we were doing as sex with our clothes on would have been a much better description.
"Mmm, you're jailbait right?" I felt a smile tug at my lips – this girl certainly got to the point. I nodded my head before answering her.
"I'll be eighteen soon." Michelle sighed before slowly grinding her ass into my pelvis one more time; instantly causing a sharp intake of breath to be expelled from my mouth – one that did not go unnoticed by her. She turned to face me, and wrapped her arms around me, her hands interlocking at the nape of my neck. She moved towards me, her hot breath brushing my cheek as her lips grazed my earlobe.
"Not soon enough." She pulled back and grinned salaciously at me, "I'm going to get a drink... you want one?" I nodded my head absently as Michelle began walking away from me – and I couldn't drag my eyes from her ass as she swayed towards the kitchen.
"DUDE! That was so freaking hot!" An arm was slung around my shoulder and Joe appered from nowhere – a Coors in his hand and his words nearly slurring one into the other. I didn't have the energy to tell him to go fuck himself, so instead I just crossed my arms and counted to ten.
"Dev, no shit man! Like video tape worthy hot! Seriously, if she's the girl you're gonna tap tonight, can I watch?" I frowned before deciding on a sound smack to Joe's chest, aiming roughly for his solar plexus, only to have him giggle like a little girl.
"Seriously man, milk it with this girl, I thought she was gon' fuck you on the dancefloor right there! This could be part of the plan! And you couldn't find a hotter girl!" I shook my head despairingly before stepping away from Joe, watching him stumble for a minute into a nearby chair before he burst into fits of giggles and began talking lovingly to his beer bottle.
"Miss me?" I turned around to find Michelle there, a smirk firmly in place on her lips, and two dixie cups filled with some sort of alco pop. I sniffed it tentatively before deciding to down the fucker. My nose burned for a second at the super bubbly sensation before the sweetness of the drink registered with my mouth and I licked my lips, trying to grab every single drop of the sweet nectar. I looked up to see Michelle staring at me intently, desire burning in her features – her eyes fixed solely on my mouth.
"Should be a fun night, Devon."
I had no idea how long had passed but all I knew was that for once I wasn't being a miserable bitch while I was with Michelle. She hadn't left my side other than to get drinks or to go to the restroom and I honestly didn't mind the attention I got from her – it was nice to have someone be so besotted with me. It almost reminded me of myself when I was arond Victoria... when it was just the two of us of course.
"Mmm, Devon, I'll be right back, I'm just gonna go check sum'thing, mm'kay?" I nodded and took another sip from the red cup that was in my hand – my tastebuds were now dead to the taste and all that registered with me was the bubbling sensation that occurred at the back of my throat with every single gulp I took. So much for being the designated driver, huh?
I saw that Michelle had bounding up the stairs when I heard a throat clearing from behind me. I turned around and saw none other than Victoria Louwrens staring at me – disappointment heavily etched into her features. Her arms were crossed and she avoided looking into my eyes.
"Hey, Victoria, having fun?" I spoke carefully, trying to sound as neutral as possible. She scoffed loudly before shaking her head and making this strange clucking sound with her tongue.
"Yeah, I'm great", even drunk I noticed the sarcasm laced into her words, "And you? Has tonight been fun for you, Devon?" I began to open my mouth to respond when Michelle appeared at my side and grabbed my hand before giving me one of the most sultry looks I had received in my life.
"Hey, Devon, come upstairs... there's something cool I wanna show you." Judging from Michelle's body language, she had something she wanted to do to me, not show me, but I couldn't find objection. I turned my head to Victoria and offered a small smile;
"It's about to get a lot better Victoria. See ya."
I didn't hang around for long before Michelle began leading me upstairs by our now intwined hands; she looked over her shoulder every now and again to gauge my reaction, and I must say honestly I was intrigued.
We got onto the first floor landing and she lead me three doors down and onto the left before she opened an unlocked door, turned to me and grabbed me by the arm and dragged me in with her.
We barely got the door closed before I felt a pair of soft, delectable lips upon my own. My eyes fluttered closed and for once I let my guard down – an indescribable warmth from deep within me began to take over my body.
I shuddered and shook with anticipation and suddenly a surge of adrenaline began to course through my veins, shooting up every nerve ending and setting my skin alight with renewed desire; passion I thought that existed only for Victoria.
Desire or arousal? My inexperienced mind was fogged with indecivity and I eventually settled on not giving a fuck as an answer.
I didn't care.
As usual, my indifference was serving me here but in another way – a more intense way.
Someone wanted me. Really wanted me. What more could I ask for?
"Mmm, God you taste so good! Fuck!" I quirked an eyebrow at Michelle's colourful mouth, but decided to ignore it, the way she spoke – her voice was husky and low, almost laced with want, need and desire.
I opened my mouth slightly and instantly Michelle took advantage, sticking her tongue into my throat and taking me like a pro. She let her tongue dance along with mine and every now and again she nibbled on my lower lip before sweeping her tongue over the area she just had her teeth on.
The changing point of this night was when she suckled gently on my tongue and I heard myself moan and whimper.
Almost instantly, my eyes snapped open and I stepped back; my jaw was clenched and I was furious with myself for allowing myself to be so vulnerable.
Michelle cocked her head before she walked over to me, stopping so there was barely any spance between us. My breath caught at her close proximity.
"Are you okay, Devon?" I gulped quickly before ligting my head and nodding frantically. God, I had no idea what was happening to me!
"Good, c'mon, let's have some fun."
I never understood before why people were so nervous whenever it came to sex. Not until this moment, that is.
Michelle had grabbed me by the arm and was slowly leading me over to the plain bed in the middle of the room. She walked backwards towards it, never keeping her eyes off of mine.
My palms began to sweat profusely and my mouth was so damn dry that I felt the need to rush to downstairs and down as many drinks as I could find.
"Mmm, Devon, you feel so nice." Her knees hit the edge of the bed and she fell down, taking me with her, on top of her to be more precise.
My heart was pounding against my chest and I was certain she could hear it.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Michelle propped herself up on her elbows and looked at me questioningly. I paused for a moment and looked away from her.
I didn't really want to tell her, but if this was going the way I thought it was, she'd surely find out sooner or later, right? I cleared my throat.
" I've never really done... this... before." I waited for her reaction. Would she laugh at me? If she did, she might just piss me off to an extent I don't think anyone has ever ventured before.
It seemed as though an eternity passed before Michelle locked her eyes with mine and spoke warmly.
"You're a virgin?" I raised my eyebrows slightly before nodding my head.
"Well... I never would have thought. I mean... look at you! Fuck! This is so awesome!" I was pretty sure my eyebrows shot off the top of my head after she spoke those last few words.
I didn't even have a chance to ask her what the fuck she meant before I felt two hards roughly grab me by my shirt and force our bodies together, her lips on mine, this time a more fierce approach to me then before. Her body seemed wild – her hands were all over me.
My mind was mush. I couldn't think, I couldn't speak, I'm lucky I remembered to breathe in between being taken so ferally.
I felt myself being pushed over and seconds later, found myself lying on my back, Michelle straddling my hips and grinding down into me; she was biting her lip and throwing back her head already.
"What are you – " My sentence was cut off by her now familiar lips – in this instance, I noticed they tasted like shea butter, she must use a flavoured chapstick, because now all I could smell and taste was the creamy buttery taste of her lips.
And I think I liked it.
"Do you want this, Devon?" I opened my eyes and looked up into rich brown eyes; filled with unbridled desire and one clear message – one I was new to but so very sure of.
"Yes. I... I want you."
An animalistic grin broke out over Michelle's face and she wasted no time – I shit you not.
Within seconds, the shirt she was wearing was up and over her head and thrown haphazardly onto the floor. I could feel the heat rush to my face as soon as I saw the outline of her breasts in her silk bra.
Wow.
She giggled deliriously and brought my nervous - and I'm pretty sure trembling - hands up to her chest and I cupped her gently for the first time. I expelled a breath I had no idea I was holding at the time as I held Michelle. She was so warm and soft and I felt almost overwhelmed to even be allowed to touch her.
She moaned as my hand grazed over a part of her, I wasn't too sure which part so I repeated my actions until I felt her jerk under my touch once more. She looked down at me and bit her lip so hard I thought she might draw blood any moment now.
I licked my partially dry lips and began to raise my head only to stop after a moment, feeling my cheeks redden as I realised my amateurish antics. A small gentle laugh from above me caused me to look up into reassuring chocolate coloured eyes.
"You can touch me Devon..." Michelle leaned forward, her lips grazing the shell of my ear gently causing me to suppress a moan, "Cos you're going to eventually, baby."
"Baby? We – we've only just met."
"And we like each other don't we?... Devon, just relax. We don't have to do anything you don't want to do." Michelle slowly sat up and reached around behind her. My eyes widened slightly as I realised what she was doing – this was it.
If I wanted to stop, now was the time to stop it. My mind raced with conflicting thoughts – didn't I want to wait for Victoria, wasn't she who I'd rather be with right now? Wait, I was here to lose myself, because that's all just fantasy with Vicky. Wasn't I supposed to –
All thoughts stopped as soon as Michelle threw her bra to the floor. My eyes remained on her, on her flawless body, on her small smile – not shy but quietly confident. She leaned forward and kissed me gently – no doubt trying to break me out of my trance.
"Now you." I nodded slowly before propping myself up on my elbows; Michelle took care of my top, she pulled it from under me and let me half sit up so she could bring it over my head and throw it onto the small pile that consistent mainly of her clothing at the moment.
Michelle's lips crashed into mine once more and my skin burned with a new desire, a new passion. I had previously thought myself dead and completely uninterested in anything but no... here I was, being sexually intimate with someone and it was literally dragging me out of my shell, bringing me out from under my rock.
God, it felt so good.
I hissed as I felt a sharp stinging pain emerge from my collarbone, but seconds later I was moaning as Michelle began to lick and suck my red and injured flesh. I threw my head back without thinking and seconds later, I felt Michelle's mouth attach itself to my offered patch of skin.
"God, that feels so good."
I didn't even recognise my own voice, it was almost quivering with lust and I sounded broken and weak – that wasn't really me, was it?
"Mmm, you taste so good, Devon... well, what I've tasted so far anyway."
Her deep eyes met mine and she silently asked me a question.
I answered her by reaching behind me and unclasping my own bra. She gave me an utterly delightful lopsided grin before removing the rest of the material from my chest and flinging it away without caring as to where it landed – and to be honest, neither did I.
"Lay back and let me make you feel great, Devon. Trust me, it's awesome and you'll love it."
"H-how do you know?"
"If you liked me grinding into you, you'll fucking love this. Trust me." My mind was spinning. Trust? Her? A complete stranger? Trust her to give me what I was so desperately craving in that moment? Trust her to take me like I had allowed no other? Could I? Of course I could. I was an hormonal, lust fuelled teenager recovering from realising the love of their life was fucking their ungrateful boyfriend.
I licked my lips and leaned back, that was enough consent – I couldn't trust my voice after earlier.
My head had barely hit the pillow before I felt a wet tongue massage over the sensitive flesh of my stomach. I almost sat back up at the tingling sensation that caused to erupt from the depths of my core.
I could feel her humming as she licked my skin. Licked and kissed. God, she kissed.
Her tongue left a cold trail behind and caused me to shiver involuntarily before she kissed the skin and caused me to sigh in relief.
Her mouth skilfully caressed my breast and I whimpered out as she instantly made me hard everywhere. Her tongue danced lightly over my skin and she flicked me with ease, knowingly causing me to jerk and thrust my hips upwards, all in search of release.
"You want it that bad, huh?" I grunted at her question – She was exasperating! No, I didn't want to orgasm, I wanted to be tortured until the end of time... I was tempted to be sarcastic but the feel of her tugging at my jeans caught my attention.
My blood flowed from my brain to the opposite direction instantly causing an unbearable throbbing sensation to occur from between my legs. My breath caught as my fly was unbuttoned and my stomach tensed as I heard the distinct sound of a zipper being pulled down.
I lifted my head and almost came at the sight of Michelle pulling the zipper down using only her teeth.
Her eyes locked with mine and she smirked at me.
She knew she had me.
I lifted my hips off of the bed as she pulled my jeans off and past my hips and thighs, Michelle only stopped briefly to throw my boots off and soon my jeans and underwear joined the rest of our clothing on the floor. I was about to protest about Michelle's lack of clothing when she stood up and stripped off in a millisecond – standing in all her glory and instantly arousing me.
My sight was drawn from her exquisite chest to the patch of curls resting just between her thighs. Even if I wasn't a little light headed from the booze I'd be able to see that she was glistening in the dim light of the room.
She strode towards the bed and I unconsciously moved aside so there was space for her to slip in beside me. Michelle did and she leaned up against me, her leg in between mine and I had to bite my lip to fight back a moan as I felt her slick heat on my thigh. She must have heard me because a low, husky laugh emerged from beside me then I felt her gently slide herself over my my thigh once more, leaving a deliciously hot trail beside it.
I took in a deep breath as her arousal filled the air between and around us. I looked over to her and grabbed her by the back of her neck and brought her lips to mine – this time my tongue was controlling her. I felt her gasp out and moan into my mouth and I sucked up every sound she exhaled.
"God, this feels so good. You sure about this Devon?" I nodded as I felt her wet slickness rub up against me and caused my body to squirm and writhe in response.
"If you don't I think I might go crazy." She pulled her hands into my hair and brought us closer, and she almost stole the oxygen from my lungs with the feracity of her kisses and moans.
She shuffled over so she was on top of me and she was suprisingly light against my body; her hand cupped my breast and I was instantly aroused once more, I could still feel her thigh against my skin, she was still as wet as she was moments ago and it still amazed me.
"I'm going to make you feel so good, Devon." I trembled with anticipation.
I gasped out loudly as I felt her hand dancing lightly at my entrance. My legs tried to close but my mind screamed at my body not to fight this.
I wanted this.
I did. And here it was being offered to me. How could I say no?
I couldn't. Seconds later, two fingers lightly began tracing slow, lazy circles over the very tip of me. Causing my body to jerk continuously.
Michelle used her other free hand to keep my body in place as she began whispering into my ear.
"Shh, it's okay. Relax, honey." I nodded absentmindedly, but I was really blocking her voice out. My mind was singularly concentrated on the pleasure coursing through me in this instant.
The second her skin came into contact with me, I felt as though I was about to explode.
Now, I'm no stranger to self pleasure – in fact I endorse that as your five-a-day, and nearly every private thought in my room in regards to Victoria ended in a highly satisfactory orgasm ripping through me using the form of just masturbation.
But here was a complete stranger, gliding through me and able to utterly satisfy me and leave me not wanting a single thing. Touching just where I needed to be touched, kissing me just when I needed to be.
"Oh God, Devon, you are so fucking wet. Holy shit!" Michelle resorted to biting and kissing at my skin while furiously rubbing her hand against me, causing my hips to throw themselves into her touch.
I was losing myself into her touch and I was loving it. Then... I felt it.
Well, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was.
A sharp pain from deep within me, and I felt all my stomach muscles contract.
"Shh, baby, it's okay." And as soon as I felt Michelle's fingers withdraw from me before gently sliding back in and her thumb caressing over my sensitive tip... I knew. She took me.
The last innocent piece of me was gone for good.
The one thing that could have signalled my only bit of purity was currently having the shit fucked out of it by this incredibly talented girl.
Michelle continued to murmur words that were lost on me as her sweet breath glided over my skin. She kept up her steady pace within me, knowing when to rub me to get that extra moan from me.
Her breath disappered from my shoulder and I was about to question her when I felt an unbelievably soft pair of lips descend on my already overaroused centre.
I growled from the depths of my throat and clenched the sheets around me, my knuckles were probably turning white from the force I was using.
"God! Fuck!" I was shocked that I spoke out, my eyes fluttering open and shut as her fingers worked in adn out of me, her thumb rubbing over me, only to be licked and sucked by her full, soft lips a second later.
This girl was seriously eating me out like I was the last meal she was ever going to have.
My breathing began to get shallow and edged on panting when I looked down and saw blonde hair and heard an almost familiar voice murmuring gently.
"Come for me Dev, come." I closed my eyes once more, my mouth slightly agape as I imagined the face of the person; it was Victoria.
She was there between my legs, gently talking to me as she took me in. She was pleasuring me just as I liked to be pleasured, and only someone who knew me so well would know how to pleasure me.
It was her when my eyes were closed.
The growing feeling from the pit of my stomach escalated and less than a minute later, I cried out into the night.
"Victoria." I hadn't even noticed the name I said.
Michelle slowly slid out of me moments later, and gently kissed her way up my body to my face, her arousal still thick and slick against my body as she intertwined our legs once more.
I was taking in deep breaths and trying to regain control of my body when I felt a hand gently sliding over my stomach, gently playing over my smooth skin.
"... That was your friend, right?" I swallowed some saliva in the hopes of relieving my dry throat.
"What?" Michelle continued her ministrations on my stomach.
"Vicky. Victoria. That was the name of the girl downstairs. Your friend. You called her that before we came up here." Michelle stopped touching my stomach as soon as the light muscles in my stomach tightened. She looked down at me warmly.
"It's okay, Devon... I mean we only just met, it's cool and all... but ouch. Saying another girl's name?" I looked at Michelle to find her smirking at me. Abruptly, all my post-coital glow evaporated and sat up, instantly distancing myself from Michelle.
"Devon, I said it was okay. I mean sure it was a blow to the ol' ego but y'know, that kind of things happens every now and again." I sling my feet over the side of the bed and buried my face into my hands.
I didn't need this.
It was bad enough that Joseph knew I was jonesing for Victoria but to have this complete stranger know? Unacceptable.
"Devon – "
"Shut up. Just shut up." Groggily, my eyes began sweeping over the room, in search of my clothes in the dim light made it almost impossible to find them. I was exhausted from Michelle and now this? It was all too much for me.
"Does she know?" Didn't I tell her to shut up?
Leaning forward, I can see my jeans and briefs on the floor near me. I grabbed them and stood up, ready to put them on, completely ignoring the fact I was standing nude in front of her. It was all a means to and end.
"Cos, if she doesn't... and this thing for her you have is so bad you say her name when coming... wow, she deserves to know, y'know?" I ignored her as I looked around, spotting my shirt but not my bra – oh well, a casualty of war I'm sure.
As I threw the top over my head and grabbed the only pair of socks in the room I knew to be mine, I heard her continue to speak.
"Cos, you know, she looked insane jealous when we were dancing. Maybe she has a thing for you... you know... you really suck at this whole pillow talk thing, Devon."
"Look, I just lost my virginity to some random stranger and I embarrassed myself enough when I... and now you're talking to me about telling Victoria about it? Are you fucking mad?" Both boots on and I stood up, feeling light headed and my legs were weak – I never knew I would ever be so drained of energy.
"If you want I could tell her for you. I don't mind."
"Don't go near her." My voice was low and my eyes concentrated on Michelle in the bed, still in all her naked glory. She smirked and shrugged, she removed the sheet covering her and gathered her clothes from the floor and dressed swiftly – something tells me she had done this before.
"Fine, fine, fine... let's go downstairs then... and don't worry I won't tell anyone about your little name calling, Dev. You were a pretty good lay."
Before I could register her words, the door to our bedroom was opened by Michelle and she exited. I followed out moments later, now aware of the booming bassline of the R & B that filled out the room.
Walking ten paces behind Michelle, I kept my sight fixed on her. Ensuring she woud stick to our unspoken agreement and not even approach Victoria.
As we entered the living room, Michelle instantly flocked to her friends, eyes instantly darting to me before smiles and giggles erupted and no doubt Michelle gave them a lowdown. I didn't really care what she told them as long as she kept her mouth shut about Victoria.
I took in a deep breath and looked around the room once more; Joseph was staring wide-eyed at me before throwing his hands up and questioning me with his eyes.
The ache between my legs was hard to ignore and I raised my eyebrow at him. He looked over to Michelle who was whispering to her friends and glancing over to me. She winked and smiled – I couldn't figure her out in that instant. She nodded over to a corner.
Victoria and Michael.
Victoria was shoving Michael away from her while he rolled his eyes and shrugged. I saw her shake her head several times before turning away from him and looking over to me. I looked up and saw Michael shake his head, turn Victoria around and raise and eyebrow at Vicky.
"Dude! NO FREAKING WAY! You tapped it? Was she hot? Are you okay? Do you feel different? Are you – "
"Shut the fuck up, Joseph." Asshat was silent instantly. I looked over and saw Victoria and Michael arguing. I took in a deep breath and sighed heavily.
"Joseph, get your own ride home, I'm bored. Later." I didn't even wait for a response from the drunken ass.
I didn't wanna be here anymore. I was sore, miserable and sobering up. I needed to get out of there.
Approaching my car, I heard footsteps behind me.
"Joe, fuck off and get your own ride."
"Sorry, figured you'd give me a ride, Dev." I spun around as soon as I heard Victoria's voice. She was standing all of ten feet away from me and smiling softly. I looked around the road.
"Where's Michael? Isn't he taking you home?" Victoria barked out a short bitter laugh before shaking her head.
"Don't mention that name, Dev. Can you get me out of here?" I was about to respond when I saw a figure sauntering over.
Michelle.
Victoria looked over her shoulder and I could sense her body instantly tense up.
"Michelle?" She smiled and walked over to me, sending a smirk to Victoria. As she approached me, I could feel my entire body tremble. I didn't want Victoria to see this. It felt like I was cheating on her. I looked up to speak to her and saw Victoria shaking her head in the same sad way she did when I asked about Michael.
"I can see you two aren't quite finished."
"Victoria, wait, it's not what you – "
"Whatever Devon. Later."
Victoria turned on her heel and rushed back towards the house, I went to go after her but felt an arm on my hand. I turned to face Michelle.
"What the fuck do you want?!" A predatory grin took over her face and she looked me up and down.
"I should have known the second I saw you. But I didn't... it was only when one of my girls recognised your name... thought she'd seen you somewhere else. You're Devon Montgomery." I believe I gave what is known as a 'what the fuck' look? Michelle run a finger lazily up my forearm.
"It's weird... before I thought you were just a hot piece. I mean I was totally stoked to know I was going to pop your cherry before... by the way, you were definitely in my top ten of first timers. I mean, wow, you were so fucking tight and I thought I was at SeaWorld or some shit, I was soaked."
"Is there a point to your bullshit?" Michelle cocked an eyebrow and I saw the cockiness that attracted me to her resurface. I kept myself as cool and calm as I could, trying to decide when Michelle did a one eighty with her personality and turn into this bitch I could sense was trying to surface as she spoke.
"My point is this... you're loaded. Filthy fucking rich and don't think I don't know it. Before, I kinda felt sorry for you, you crushing on your friend and her not having a fucking clue... I thought I'd take it easy on you... after all I got all I could get from you. But, now I don't have all I can get."
I narrowed my eyes.
I recognised that look in her eyes. It was a look I got most of my life. When people realised that I had more money than I knew what to do with. Anyone who knew about me knew that on my 18th birthday I get my trust fund released to me. Twenty six million dollars from my grandfather alone. My parents one is released on my 21st. Let's just say if anything were to happen to them it would easily hit the treble million figures.
She wanted cash. Cold, hard cash.
I laughed out loud.
"You think I'll give you cash? Just like that? Just 'cos you fucked me? Fuck you." I turned to my car but felt her hand on my arm.
"Not cos I fucked you, no. But 'cos I heard you say her name. Now, if you don't give me what I want, I swear to God I will walk in there and tell her."
My skin went cold, my heart stopped beating and yet I felt alive.
She wanted to play this game? Then I was game.
I stepped close to her, my eyes burning into her.
"You want money? Or else you'll go and tell my friend I called out her name when I came?... How much are we talking about?"
Michelle grinned – she probably thought she had me cornered. She shrugged her shoulders and leaned up against my car.
"Maybe money isn't what I want. This is a fucking nice car."
"You want it?" I threw her my car keys and grinned. "Take it for a ride. If it's good enough, consider it yours." She eyed me suspiciously.
"Really?" I nodded.
"I really don't want my friend to find out. I'll do whatever it takes to keep you quiet." Michelle grinned and opened up the car door.
"You're a smart one, Devon. Real smart." I grinned and got in the car with her. She jumped up and was about to start shouting and screaming.
"Hey, I don't let anyone run away with my car. You might crash it or some shit. I still gotta pay for the fucking thing." She shrugged her shoulders.
I looked around the road. It was still delightfully empty.
I'm glad I'm in the passenger seat – that's where I hide my 'tools' of my trade. Nothing like a sharp blade to quiet someone into not saying a fucking thing. I waited till I felt the gentle hum of my baby car sound. It came to life.
I could see the lust in Michelle's eyes.
I can't believe I ever thought she resembled Victoria. She's just as materialistic as the rest of them. She hummed sensually as the car changed gears and revved loudly.
"Fuck. Yes, this is the car for me, Devon. I promise I'll keep my mouth shut." She grinned and something in me told me not to trust her.
Using years of practiced moves, I swiftly opened the glove compartment and pulled out my box cutter and my scalpel. In less than a second, I had the box cutter at Michelle's throat.
"Do as I say. You shut the fuck up and tell no-one and go home. You pretend this never happened. Got it?"
"Or what? You'll cut me? Fucking pathetic." I heard her laughing. Ignoring me.
"As soon as I get out of this car, I'll fucking run and tell the whole goddamned party. Jesus, Devon, I expected better of you."
All I could process was that Michelle was going to tell everyone. Victoria would know. I wouldn't be able to face her.
This couldn't happen.
No.
My mind swam with possibilities of what to do. I had to shut her up. I had to keep my pride.
I couldn't be dented like that. No.
Michelle had to go.
"Drive to Riverside Park." Michelle ignores me. I press the box cutter deeper into her flesh and she winces, her eyes flash wildly towards me. I grab the scalpel and drive it into her thigh. Her scream fills the car and it fills me.
I've never felt such a thrill stir in my blood. Her scream... it excites me.
"I said drive to Riverside Park. Now."
After twenty five minutes of snivelling and tears, we finally pull up at my old haunt.
"Do not fucking move unless I tell you to." Michelle says nothing but cradles her leg – the blood stopped well over five minutes ago so I've no idea why she's still making such a huge fuss.
I get out of the car, taking the car keys with me and look around. Practically deserted; the parks are rarely closed this side of the park – the site supervisors prefer to walk around once an hour and call it a day, just in case they loose the keys to the park.
I move to the other side of the car, opening the door and singling the box cutter onto Michelle's face.
"Make a move and I will cut you, got it?"
Michelle gets out of the car, limping lightly. Grabbing the scalpel, I twisted it lightly before ripping it out of her leg.
"Better?" Without waiting for a response, I drag Michelle by the arm and towards the park. She says nothing the entire way – well, nothing worth hearing. Just a bunch of 'Oh Gods' and 'please donts'. It is really rather tedious after nearly half an hour of this shit.
The park's greenery fills my senses and I smell in the rich scent of a park without people. It's fresh, it's pure and I crave it. Deep within me, I yearn for this purity. Now I've lost my own, I need a replacement. And it's in this form.
"Oh, God, what are you going to do to me?" I ignore Michelle as I walk to the familiar clearing and look around. I have a stash of bricks around here from all over the park – I collected them from each section. I use them to weigh down the animal's bodies as I throw them into the water. It keeps them down for as long as I need.
"Devon! Please! Say something!" I turn to face Michelle. The box cutter is out at full force.
"I said several things and you ignored them all. I believed when you said you'd say nothing and here you are, threatening me. Oh... you are low. And I plan to put you lower." Michelle looked at me eyes wide. "I can't have Victoria know. I have to get rid of you. You'd run your big fucking mouth off otherwise. Michelle... you brought this on yourself."
"You're so full of shit, Devon! I won't say a goddamned thing, I swear."
"Your word is no fucking good to me, Michelle. You're an issue and I need to get rid of you."
"You'll get caught." I grin widely and shake my head.
"No-one knows where we are. I've only just met you."
"Victoria knows."
"Victoria... wouldn't say a thing. Michelle, Michelle, Michelle. Just accept this. If you hadn't pissed me off, you'd be able to see another day." She shakes her head unbelieving.
"You're a psycho." I shrug my shoulders.
"As long as no-one knows."
I've had enough of talking. I need to end this before it gets too late.
"Michelle... how'd you like to be my first time again?" I grin at her and I see something that gives me a greater high then anything I've ever experienced.
Her fear gives me a buzz and I'm addicted to it. I need it. Always. But she needs to go. I've gone to far to let her get away.
She backs away and I've got her in my sights. She falters into the tree and her tears are streaking down her cheeks and she's shaking like a leaf. As soon as her back hits the tree, her eyes widen and she looks around wildly for help.
"HELP! SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME!" I grin. This is New York, no-one comes running for anything less than a fire. And the police? The uniforms out here are too busy dunking donuts to actually protect and serve.
"Shh, shh." I try to coax her but she keeps on screaming. I wanted to enjoy this, to drag it out but there is a possibility that the site supervisors could come out at any time and this owuld be one hell of a bitch of a matter to clear up.
With a sigh, I throw my arm out. The box cutter struggles against her skin and for a moment I fear it isn't sharp enough.
But then the thin red line appears and she chokes for a second. It doesn't come gushing and oozing out and for a moment I know all my 'Jason' movies have been nothing but lies.
I'm disappointed until she falls to her knees, clutching at her throat. She chokes and blood fills her mouth. I crouch to be at eye level with her and I regret it for a moment. It's still fucking sore between my legs. I hope it doesn't go on too long – I want nothing to detract from my enjoyment of this moment.
I ignore my pain and watch her. She reaches out to me with one arm and I'm fixated on her throat. I want to reach out and touch it but I can't... this is a cashmere sweater I'm wearing and blood is a bitch to get out and cuffs are especially noticeable.
Instead I'm drawn to her face. It's so pale now.
I need to be a part of this more than I already am. Cutting her wasn't enough - it wasn't what I wanted to do. I wanted to be this moment.
I reach out to her nose and mouth and cover them with my hands. Her eyes widen as I press down harder onto her. She tries to falail but she's lost so much blood it's almost pointless.
Barely a minute passes and she's limp in my arms. It was so quick, it was so easy... almost effortless.
It's already over.
It was nothing like I ever thought it would be.
It was even better than my other first time. God... It felt so good.
I was complete. I knew what was so empty now in my life.
I needed to do it again.
The only question left, was when?
"I do not believe it, Devon. Jesus, you really are an egotistical prick, aren't you?" Ashley is roaring angry and in utter disbelief.
"You killed someone because she was going to tell on you? Jesus Christ. Just another notch on your belt right? Something to boost that big old head of yours right?"
I smirked at her tone.
"She threatened me, Detective, what was I supposed to do?"
"Oh, jeez, Devon, I don't know, maybe suck it up and take it like a real person. Not act like some shell-shocked pussy and go on a killing spree."
Fuck her.
My jaw clenched before I could stop it and I saw that glint in her eye. She leaned back in her chair and my eyes appraised her body – not for the first time and not for the last. I was shameless, I didn't care if she saw me. She knew how I always felt about the 'special' relationship between us.
"Dev... I did you a favour and called in your lawyer. I mean it wasn't hard. Joe said he'd be here soon as. Told me to beg you to shut up and keep still til he got here. But if I know you... and we both know I do... you won't do a thing that asshat says, am I right?"
Ashley is one of a kind. If she wasn't so ridiculously smug then she'd have been a perfect candidate for me. It's a shame she's everything I hate; smart, charming, funny, egotistical.
Everything and more in myself. She does know me well though.
"Joseph never really did get a hold on me... but he is one sneaky defense attorney... why'd you think I've kept him on so long?" We both shared a small snicker – that was short lived.
"But you're wrong, you know? I did listen to him once." Ashley raises an eyebrow once more.
"As long as I don't have to sit through you describing another sexual experience, I'm sure I can hold my vomit down and sit through this one, Dev." I can help but smirk. I like it when she's fiery.
"I promise you nothing but the truth." Ashley sighs and rests her hands behind her head and waves me dismissively.
"Sure... knock yourself out. Hey, want me to get a recorder in here so you can record yourself, rewind and play the favourite way you like to hear your voice? Just tell me if you killed these women or not... we both know you did... and how you did it, when and why."
I decide to do my favourite hobby of annoying Ashley Prince. I rub my chin thoughtfully before looking up and taking her in.
"We were eighteen and there was only three weeks left of high school. I hadn't killed another person since Michelle – the opportunity never arose, you see. But Joseph gave me some pretty good news and an instruction and I listened to him." Ashley barely opens one eye but instead she unbuttons one of her blouse buttons and fans herself – I hadn't noticed the temperature change.
"Yeah? What was that? I take it it wasn't to get a life or personality... seeing as how you lack both of them." I couldn't prevent my laughter escapting my mouth.
"Oh Detective, you never fail to make me laugh... no... he told me Michael and Victoria had broken up. He told me to go for her. At any cost."
Ashley sits up a little straighter and looks down at a file in front of her, she grins and looks at me.
"Ah... this. Victoria mentioned it briefly last time. But I never thought about it much. The infamous dropped rape charge against you. Ha, I bet everyone had a field day with that right? An eighteen year old girl raping her best friend? Tell me, did you frighten Vicky into dropping it or did you just shame her into it?"
I take a deep breath. I remind myself she's just trying to get under my skin and I can't let her do that.
"Ha... real funny, Prince. No... she told those stupid fucking friends of hers and they forced her to the police. Victoria loved me."
"I can tell the feeling was mutual." Her eyes flittered down to the photos of Victoria's corpse before looking back at me. Her eyes hard and dangerous.
Is it wrong that arouses me?
"It was. You should have seen her. Wanna hear?"
"What has this got to do with anything?" Her voice strains and I giggle.
"Because I believe that is when Victoria realised that I was no stranger to death."
"Go on then you self-indulgent fucker. Tell me whatever the fuck you want. It'll only toll up to a nice injection, Dev."