DISCLAIMER: I don't own CSI, Catherine and Sara or anything CSI related. Hannah Jenkins is mine though.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'd like to thank my beta, Emma.
Hustle and Flow
I woke up with a big smile on my face. The memories of last night were filling my mind with delight. I had waited so long for this to happen, so many nights alone dreaming of it and finally it happened. I kept my eyes closed, just to let my mind go over last night's events once again. I felt so incredibly happy, something I haven't felt before in my whole life. Maybe if I had enough time before work, I could show my gratitude to the person lying in bed next to me.
After a while I decided to open my eyes and turn to the person who had caused all my happiness. When I turned I realised the bed was empty, I had woken up alone. How come I hadn't noticed when she left the bed? Had it all been a dream? The side next to me did look like someone slept there. Worried that my mind was playing tricks on me, I got up and looked around. I found my clothes spread all over the bedroom floor, which was definitely not something I did with my clothes before going to sleep. I figured that same person would be around somewhere, maybe in the kitchen, making a delicious breakfast.
Within no time, the smile returned to my face. It had definitely happened, I had not been dreaming. When I walked into the living room, I saw the two glasses and a bottle of wine on the table. Both glasses were still half full, we sure didn't waste any time last night. I smirked at myself; I would have never thought this was happen. My smirk faded when I noticed I was totally alone. My lover hadn't even left a note or a sign.
I heard my alarm clock going off in my bedroom. I still had one hour before I had to be at work. I took a shower, wondering why my lover had left. Normally I love taking showers, they really clear my head, but today it was more like torture. A million questions popped up in my mind, had I done something wrong? It almost felt as if I had washed away all the good memories with my shower.
In the car, on my way to work, they all came back though. In full force I might add, changing my mood 90 degrees. I ended up walking into the Las Vegas Crime Lab with a smile, not caring about the weird looks I got. Yeah, so normally I don't smile, so what? It's not like I'm not able to smile!
I made my way to the break room, getting myself a well deserved coffee. My colleague and good friend Greg walked in not long after I did.
"WOW, someone got laid," he exclaimed with a smile as he poured himself a coffee, "Care to fill me in on the details?" he said as he plopped down on the couch next to me.
I give him a death glare, hoping he will back off. I am not ready to share any details, first I will have to talk to the person who made those memories with me. I would like to know where we stand now.
"Well, I guess that means a no," Greg wisely says as he starts sipping his coffee.
I decide to work on my poker face before the rest of my colleagues come in. I don't want to have any more of those 'Greg-like' questions. Nick and Warrick come in together, like they always do and like always they were having a discussion about sports. I wonder which sport it is this time, probably baseball, since the Yankees played yesterday. I vaguely remember the game being on TV in the bar I was at, but of course I was otherwise engaged so to speak.
I wondered where Catherine was when Grissom showed up and there was still no sign of her.
"Warrick, suspicious circs at the Mirage, take Greg with you," Grissom started as he handed my laid back colleague his assignment slip. "Nick, you're with me, we have a DB in Henderson," he said as he waved the other assignment slip at him.
I look up at my boss, wondering why I didn't get an assignment.
"Sara, I want you to help Catherine with paperwork," he says as he follows Nick out of the room.
Now, normally I would be seriously pissed off, I would feel like I had been grounded. But today, I was actually kind of glad I got to stay at the Lab, with Catherine of all people. I'd have some time to talk to her, get some information about where I stand with her. I mean last night was great and I'm sure she had fun as well, but since then I haven't heard a thing from her. She did not even come into the break room to greet me. I have to say I was getting a bit nervous.
With my semi self-confident pace, I march to Catherine's office, several different openings running through my head. I decide on opening her door, with confidence of course, sit down in front of her and just start talking. That plan goes right out of the window as I see her door is already open, I hesitate before deciding to go on with my plan but without the opening the door with confidence part.
"Hey Sara, come in," Catherine says.
Well there goes the rest of my plan.
"Hey. I erm, can I talk to you for a second?" I ask her politely. She is showing no sign of affection, but that is probably because we are at work.
She looks gorgeous though and I really can't wait to get my hands on her again, or my lips for that matter. I realize I have drifted off as I see Catherine staring at me as if she wants me to say something.
"Sara? What did you want to talk to me about?" She asks as if she already asked me the same question for five times.
"About us," I blurt out. I wanted to start subtle, but I guess it's too late for that now.
"Us?" Catherine says as she gets up and closes the door, "Sara, honey, what do you mean?"
I look at her in disbelief and see her raise one eyebrow at me.
"Well, you know, last night," I say, getting more and more nervous. I don't know whether it's because she is so close to me I can smell her or because she seems to be denying the existence of an "us".
Catherine chuckles. "Ah," she says, putting a finger just under my collarbone, tracing it around. "What happened last night doesn't make us, us," she says.
My mood, heart and everything sinks. She played me, just like she does with all those men in her life.
I decide to not make things any worse and turn around. I will find myself an assignment until something else comes in, or one of the guys gets back.
"Sara!" I hear her shout after me as I pace down the hall.
As I walk further, I hear the click-clack of her heals, she is following me.
"Sara!" She shouts, lower this time because she is near me.
"Leave me alone Catherine," I say as I almost slam the door in her face. I can't face her right now.
The door opens behind me; Catherine Willows is a very persistent woman, who always gets what she wants. Almost always
"We had fun didn't we? Isn't that what counts?" she said to me, her voice softer and sweeter than it was before.
"You have a whole different definition of fun than I do Catherine," I reply, maybe sounding harsher than I intended, but she had hurt me. She didn't deserve seeing my soft side.
"Well when you screamed my name, I'm sure that wasn't out of pain or despair," she smirked; I could see that she was remembering that exact moment and she was proud of it. She was proud that she had conquered me, or however she called it in her mind. "We should do it again sometime Sara; I really had a good time."
"There is no we, Catherine and what happened the last night, will never happen again," I say, putting my hands on my sides, showing her I mean business.
"Oh come on Sara, don't be a spoilsport," she says as she puts her hand on my arm.
I jerk away, "What that night meant to you, is different from what it meant to me. That's why it can never happen again. You will never understand what it meant to me. We live in different worlds Catherine; we don't even speak the same language."
"Then how come I understand you Sara?" She almost bites back, it seems she really wants a repeat of the other night, but that is not going to happen. I'm not a toy, not some teddy you can pick up if you want it and toss it away when you don't.
"You don't Catherine; if you did you wouldn't have left like you did! When I woke up and found your side of the bed empty, I thought it was all just a dream. I got up with a smile though, looking for you, but you were nowhere to be found!" She so does not speak the same language as I do; she thinks all this is just a silly game. I'm embarrassed now; I look at the floor, afraid to face her.
She puts her finger under my chin, lifting my face up. Her face has changed, she looks like something finally clicked and she understands me.
"I'm sorry Sara; I didn't know you felt that way," she says as she puts a strand of hair behind my ear.
I almost believe her, almost that is. Just until the moment she slowly moves forward to kiss me.
I step back and look at her in disbelief, I can't believe this woman. What is she playing at? I'm trying to hold back my tears; once again I've been played. This is the second time I got played by the same woman. I turn around to hide the first drops rolling down my cheek, I almost run to the door, wanting to get as far away from Catherine as I can. I got reminded once again, that I'm not meant to be happy.
Apparently I don't run fast enough because once again Catherine catches up with me.
"Sara," she says as she grabs my arm.
I turn around and am about to spit some nasty words at her as my mouth seems to be otherwise engaged. Catherine is kissing me full on, licking my lips with her tongue. Oh no, this is not happening. I pull back, panting I might add. If I'm going to protest now, it won't look very convincing.
"See, you like it as well," she says, panting a little herself.
"What do you want from me?" I ask her, still shocked about, or maybe enjoying, her kiss.
Catherine rolls her eyes and I think she is about to say 'duh'. "I think I made that quite clear just now Sara," she says with a smirk.
Ok, she wants me. Damn! She wants me, but only for the sex, not because it's me. And I do not agree with that, do I?
As if Catherine sees my struggle she starts to speak. "Listen, you know, just as I do, that there is no way we can be in a relationship. I have Lindsay, we both have this job and we are both women."
As if that's an explanation. Last night she didn't mind I was a woman. "But," I start, but she doesn't listen and continues talking.
"I like you Sara, I really do. I'm sorry I made you think there was more though, I hope I didn't hurt you."
With her looking at me that way, it's very hard to say she did indeed hurt me.
"Say something Sara, please, tell me we can continue seeing each other?"
My heart is beating a mile a minute, is she really asking me to be her fuck buddy? I think my jaw is about to drop to the floor and my eyeballs are on the verge of popping out.
"Erm," I manage to say, well if you can call that saying something. I shake my head and see the hurt look on Catherine's face, oh no, we don't want that.
"I have to think about that. Can you give me some time?" I ask her.
"How much time?" She asks me, caressing my arm with her hand.
"I will let you know when I know the answer," I say as I turn around.
I walk around the Lab without an actual destination, mumbling to myself. Catherine wants to sleep with me, but she doesn't want a relationship. What do I want? Hmm, I want to sleep with Catherine too, but I do want a relationship. I'm not the type of person for one night stands or for fuck buddies. Does one need to be the type of person to do that? I wonder what harm it will do if I just agree with her, maybe she will fall for me in the end and we end up having a wonderful relationship. Then I realise that I'm pulling the strings, might as well use my position and make her wait a little.
I sit in my favourite lab, that over the years got labelled 'my lab', when Greg comes in holding a huge bouquet of flowers. I look up and unconsciously raise my eyebrow; did Greg really get me flowers?
"Special delivery for Miss Sara Sidle," Greg says as he puts the flowers on my desk.
"Who sent them to me?" I ask him, moving in my seat and chuckling, "Greg, don't tell me they are from you."
Greg turns beet red and laughs uncomfortably, "No, I'm going to have to disappoint you, they are not mine. They are from a guy named C. who misses you."
Funny how he assumes it is a guy, I know better. I do try to hide my excitement though.
"You read the card?" I ask him in disbelief, I hear my voice is louder than normal and Greg almost cringes.
"I was curious," Greg says, suddenly looking at the floor. Jeeze, that man is worse than paparazzi when it comes to gossip.
I know very well who this 'guy' named C. is and I smile at the thought of that person.
"I'm sorry Sara; I'll buy you a beer after shift ok?"
"No problem Greg, I'll see you in an hour then," I say while trying to shoo Greg out of the lab.
As soon as he exits I close the door and sniff the flowers. Catherine is trying to woo me and I'll be damned but it's working.
The same morning, just before the end of shift, I find myself in Catherine's office. You know that song 'you had me from hello'? Well Catherine had me from before that, she smiles at me just before greeting me and that's all she needs to do really. How could I deny this woman?
She wants to come to my place after shift, but I tell her I'm going for a drink with Greg first. Her smile changes a little but it's still there nonetheless, she tells me to come to her place after my drink with Greg. The way she told me she would be waiting for me made me wish I had said no to Greg.
I don't think I have ever been this distant to Greg. He is enthusiastically telling me about this new 'chick' he met but I haven't really heard a word of what he is saying, my mind is with Catherine. I quickly down my beer and tell Greg I'm tired. I have to go to Catherine's house, I have to see her.
My hands are sweaty and my heart is thumping in my chest. I don't think I have ever been this nervous, was I this nervous last night? Hmm I don't really remember, I just remember, well let's not go there.
I don't really know how I got my ass to Catherine's house, but I do know I probably broke every traffic law out there, I'm very lucky I didn't get caught. I'm standing in Cath's driveway and suddenly I start sweating and I'm getting all nervous. What's wrong with me? I mean, it's not like I haven't slept with her before. I'm just going in for a nice roll in the hay and then I'm out, no strings attached, just like she wants it.
Whoa! There it is, just like SHE wants it. But do I want this? Hell of course I want to have sex with her, I mean she is beautiful, intelligent and very, very sexy to boot. But do I want this one night thing? Do I want to be her fuck buddy?
Before I get the chance to change my mind, Catherine is standing in the doorway. She has changed; she is now wearing jeans and a simple tank top. Even in casual clothes she looks great.
"Are you coming in?" She says with a smile, I'm still not sure but I walk towards her anyway.
I'm nervous, the whole deal. Sweaty palms, pumping veins in the neck, heart beating like crazy. The worst thing is that she knows and she is enjoying it. She is giving me the once over, not that I look special though. I didn't even change after shift, come to think of it, I smell like bar. Suddenly I get even more nervous, I reek of beer and cigarette smoke, how on earth is she going to want to make love to me right now. Oh wait, it's not called making love, I should label it has having sex as she does not have any other feelings for me except physical attraction.
My nerves are gone the second I walk into her house. She closes the door and pushes me against it, before I know it, her lips are on mine, claiming me. At first I let myself sink into this incredible sensation. Being pressed against the door, this gorgeous woman all over me. It really is too bad she only wants me for the sex.
That's when my feelings decide to start nagging me. I know I'm not the type of person for a one night stand, but this doesn't classify as one, right? We will be doing this more often, I hope. I also know that this means more to me than it does to Catherine, for her it's probably just an outlet, for me it's much more than that.
In spite of my feelings, I kiss her back. My hands are all over her, the need to touch her is way bigger then my need to get out of this while I still can. Her skin is soft; it seems to burn under my touch, it's almost sensual.
Catherine places her thigh in between my legs and lifts it, causing a very pleasant friction. As her hands start playing with my breasts, all my cognitive senses are concentrating on that. I no longer have time to think, thinking is overrated anyway. She knows just how and where to touch me, to bring me higher than I thought I could go. I am totally lost in pure bliss and I'm still in my clothes.
"Bedroom," Catherine mumbles in between kisses.
The kisses have become more urgent, more claiming. Not that Catherine really needs to claim me; I was hers the second she showed interest in me. She is suddenly sucking on the pulse point in my neck, I grant her with a low growl. My animal instincts are taking over from my human thoughts and I grab her hard before kiss her forcefully.
This only seems to encourage Catherine more; she is unbuttoning my shirt while pulling me with her to the bedroom. I don't care where she is taking me as long as she is taking my shirt off and getting her hands on me.
For some reason we pause and I look into Catherine's eyes. They are filled with want, but do I see something else there? Is that passion? Love? As quickly as the flash of feelings appeared it's gone and once again she has her hands all over me.
"Cath?" I ask.
She doesn't respond, instead she claims my mouth with hers. I push her back slightly, I want to talk to her.
"Cath," I say again, more urgent now.
"What Sara?" She answers, panting.
She is one hell of a sight. Her hair is hanging loosely and is totally messed up, she has a blush that doesn't only cover her cheeks, she is panting and her lips are swollen. My animal instinct tells me to dive right in, but my human mind tells me that I need to know. Damn my human mind for speaking up on a moment like this.
"Do you feel anything Cath?" I ask her.
"Hell yeah Sara, I feel damn horny," she says as she latches onto my breasts.
I would've gone on with this, but the dagger in my heart won't let me. I push her away and again she looks at me.
"I can't do this Cath, I'm sorry," I say, I need to get out of here.
"Sara!" I hear her call after me, but I have to go. This is not my thing, this is not me.
"Sara!" I hear again, just before I slam the door.
I can't do this, I'm in love with Catherine Willows and I feel too much for her to be her fuck buddy.
I can't help but wondering how Catherine feels, I mean what I did to her was really mean. It would be in the dictionary under 'low blow'. I didn't have the intention to treat her like that though, I really wanted to try but I couldn't. Finally I get the chance to bed her and I walk away, some womanizer I am. I guess I'm too much of a wuss to be in a one night stand, so much for me being an ice queen. The whole world seems to think that, but I'm far from that actually.
I hesitate before entering the Lab, I had spotted Catherine's car and it had made my heart trying to beat its way out of my chest. Why does this woman get to me so much? Why does she make me do this? I wish I could just change her mind, I mean feelings can grow right? And I'm sure we won't get fired for being in a gay relationship, which would fall under discrimination and thus is forbidden. And Lindsey, well I'm sure I can work that out. I've never been on bad foot with the little munchkin so I don't see why she wouldn't accept me.
I seriously need to get myself checked; I have never known myself to be so naïve. How can I be so stupid to think Catherine would actually like me for me? I mean, I am not directly an interesting person, especially not for someone like Catherine. How did I think she would want me for me?
As I enter the break room I am greeted with the sweet aroma of Greg's coffee. Nothing could prepare me for what was about to happen though, not even Jamaica Blue Mountain coffee and that says a lot! Catherine came storming into the break room with such force that she would have blown out the door if it wasn't open. She was breathing heavily as if she ran to the Lab instead of taking the car. Although I know better, it is probably out of rage.
"You, my office, NOW," she says before barging out again.
That was quite clear. I think that with my stupidities of last night I might have started World War III. I shake my head at my own ideas, how could I have thought I could push my feelings aside to please .to please who exactly?
This is the moment where she is going to tell me that I need to transfer, that it's time for me to go away as far as possible. This is the moment where she is going to literally kick me out of this building or drag me out by my hair. I don't even blame her if she actually would do that though.
I walk into Catherine's office and just stare at her. I have no idea what to say; somehow I don't think 'sorry' would cut it right now. And I don't even think I'm sorry. Although I am sorry for being so stupid to think I could do a one night stand with her.
"Close the door," she orders; she is so calm now that it is almost eerie.
I close the door and as I turn around to face my wrath, I bump into her. Before I know she is all over me, touching, kissing, licking, nipping, she is totally driving me crazy. This is totally wrong, not only because it's Catherine and she doesn't want me like I want her, but we are at work. I'm about to protest when she places her thigh in between my legs.
Even faster than she was all over me, she retreated and sat on the chair behind her desk. Just like that, leaving me leaning against the door, panting. She is not totally unaffected herself, but she had the chance to prepare for the situation, I was totally overwhelmed. I look at her, wondering what the hell she just did.
"Payback's a bitch Sidle," she says with a poker face, "you can go now."
I want to say a lot of things and I try to say them, more than once. But nothing comes out and I look like a fish on the dry. I am totally stunned by what Catherine just did to me, at work for crying out loud. Instead of trying to make something come out of my mouth I just turn around and walk away.
Who the hell does she think she is? I know I was wrong last night, but I didn't do it on purpose for fuck's sake! She is still totally playing me, and me, the ever so stupid Sara Sidle just keeps falling for it. Great Sidle! If she tells you to jump, you will ask 'how high?'
I stop dead in my tracks and turn around. I need to apologize to Catherine for what happened last night and then maybe we can talk about what we are going to do about this situation. No wait, I'm going to give it to her straight out. There is no more room for talking; it's time she starts listening to me, right now.
As I enter her office, well it's more like barging in; she looks at me with surprise. Ha, she probably thought I would back down after she 'shut me up', well no way, that's not how a Sidle works. I've been backing down for way too long just to please her and now it's time she stops waltzing over me like she has been doing the past while. I'm also to blame because I let her do it, but she is the main culprit in this case.
I give her no time to speak up or even think about something she could say.
"This has got to stop," I walk up to her desk and it feels as if I'm towering above her. It feels good actually and there is no way I'm sitting down.
"You can't play with me; I'm a human being with feelings!" Ok, the firm tone in my voice has been replaced with a more insecure tone, wrong start.
Catherine takes off her glasses and folds her hands neatly in front of her; she is just radiating calmness and self-composure, something that I do not have in me at this moment. I'm fuming, I'm hurt, I'm horny and I'm so very tired of all this.
"You got played at your own game Sidle, deal with it," she says calmly. Although I can hear in her voice that she is about to lose that calm.
I lean over the desk, not to intimidate her, but to make my point. "Last night, was not a game, this whole thing," I stress the last by waving my finger in between us, "has not been a game. I care about you, I want to be with you "
I was going somewhere with my point, but Catherine cuts me off.
"Then what is the problem?"
Oh Jesus, how did she become a CSI? I thought it was so obvious.
"After we talked about this 'us' I've done a lot of thinking Cath. And I thought that it would be better to be with you on your conditions than to not be with you at all. Only my heart didn't agree with that, I can't be your fuck buddy, I can't be on the other side of the phone when you make a bootie call, I want more from you. And since I can't have it, I think it is for the best we don't address it anymore and leave it like it is"
While I was giving her my speech, Catherine's mouth opened and closed a few times. Good, she is finally listening to me without interrupting. When I'm done though, I want her to say something. I want her to tell me she agrees with me, or even better, that she doesn't agree with me and wants to start a relationship with me. Yeah, like that is going to happen, Catherine Willows isn't able to have more than a 'fuck buddy relationship'.
Instead of giving me the satisfaction of a proper answer, the elusive Miss Willows says nothing, nada absolutely zilch. I don't think I have ever seen this woman speechless and I have to say, it gives me a feeling of accomplishment. Although this moment is also breaking my heart, it just proves that I will never be with her. Life's a bitch.
Suddenly it seems as if she comes to life and is about to say something, but we are rudely interrupted by Warrick entering Catherine's office.
"Sorry to disturb ladies, we've got a DB and Grissom told me to take you with me Sara," he smiles at me apologetically.
To my surprise Catherine nods, giving him the go ahead. I'm too stunned to actually react that I just turn around and follow Warrick. Well at least I got to say what I wanted to say, but I don't think that has ever been as unsatisfactory as it has been tonight. Will this be the end of the truce between Catherine and me? Will we go back to being the bickering bitches of the Crime Lab? God, I hope not, I don't think I can handle that again.
It has been a few weeks since Warrick interrupted Sara and me. There was so much unsolved tension between us, the talk we were about to have was very necessary. But we were at work and Sara needed to go on a case. We haven't talked since, not because we didn't have the chance, but because we both did our best ignoring each other. Or at least, that's how I feel it.
The situation between us is very weird. I just assumed Sara knew it was just a one night thing, I mean with both of us working in a man's world. Plus Ecklie being our boss, I don't think that he would let us get away with having a relationship. Not that I want a relationship with Sara, I'm attracted to her, yes, but it's a pure physical thing.
When she told me the day after she had feelings for me, it shocked me at first, but I was extremely flattered. Instead of showing compassion I tried to kiss her again, sometimes I think with my hormones like a guy, what a fucking stupid move. And instead of talking everything out, I asked her if she wanted to get together again. At the moment it seemed the right thing to ask, considering I really liked being with her. Being with Sara is like in the movies, in those romantic, sappy movies where the guy, well girl in this case, gives you so much attention and looks at you with so much admiration that you feel like a queen. Well when Sara looked at me naked, I felt like a top model, a queen and a lady all packed into one. She looked at me with such admiration that I felt I was about to melt into a puddle of goo. The look in her eyes made me feel so special; I think I got addicted to it. That's why I wanted to get her into my bed again.
I talked to her about it, in a way using her feelings for me to get what I wanted. She said she'd think about it. It didn't take her long to think about it, because when I send her flowers, she came to my office to make an appointment. That night, Lindsey was staying at Nancy's place because Jeremy had a birthday party and he had invited his big cousin. It was perfect and I invited Sara to my house.
I had been waiting in the kitchen. From there I could see the whole street and everyone pulling up to my driveway. I saw Sara getting out of the car and she looked lost for a moment. I hurried to the door because I was afraid she would bolt. I think that if I hadn't done that, she would have actually left. She was scared of something. I promised myself I would find out what she was scared of, after of course getting this beautiful woman in my bed. Sara doesn't know it herself but she is very beautiful, I like the kind of raw beauty she has. And the fact that she doesn't know she is attractive makes her extra cute.
Little did I know she would leave me all hot and bothered. It went great, she came in and we immediately kissed. Well I kissed her, but she responded eagerly. Suddenly she panicked and left, man I was pissed off. I still wonder what the hell she was thinking, coming to my house and then leaving me like that. She told me before she didn't play games, well the game was on.
When I ' got' her back the next day at work, I regretted it the second it happened. I was toying with Sara Sidle, which was probably the most idiotic idea I had in a long while. I saw in her eyes that I had hurt her, I knew she had feelings for me that I didn't answer and still I did what I did. I wanted to apologize but it just didn't happen.
Sara had been moping around for a while, taking most of it out on Greg. The poor guy didn't know what was happening to him. I invited him for breakfast last week because I felt sorry for him; Sara should be taking her anger out on me.
So that's basically where Sara and I stand right now, we went from lovers totally back to square one. The anonymity between us had never been bigger and even the guys were starting to pick up on it. The guys write it off on us having another fight, but unfortunately nothing is less far from the truth. I wish it was just a fight, then the whole deal would just blow over in a couple of days. Now it seems like I have lost Sara forever. I'm starting to regret what I did more and more each day.
Sara seems to be over the whole deal though, the past few days she smiled an awful lot. I wake up out of my reverie as I walk past Greg's lab and see the main character of my thoughts talk to him. He doesn't look scared; he is actually smiling at Sara. Her phone rings and she picks up, turning away from Greg. Now that is interesting, since when does Sara take personal calls at work?
I can't hear what she says, but she is glowing and smiling again. This can't be good. I try to get closer without being noticed. But when I can finally pick up I only hear her saying goodbye.
Greg is wiggling his eyebrows while imitating a Cheshire cat smile.
"So who is this Chris? A hot date?" he asks Sara, who suddenly has the look of a deer caught in the headlights.
"No and that's none of your business anyway." Sara answers.
Ok, so Chris IS a hot date. I can't believe she actually thinks we don't know that by now. Greg, being the smart guy he is sometimes, drops the subject and starts talking about the results he has for her. I, on the other hand, just got very curious. Was Sara dating someone? And most of all was Sara dating a man? I thought she only focused her attention on women. Or maybe Chris was the short version of someone's name.
I decide to clock out, since my case is on a stand still. It was well into Saturday already and I really feel like spending some time with Lindsey. I just want to forget about Sara for a while. I don't understand why she is still on my mind anyway. It's not like I want her to be my girlfriend, at least I don't think so. I shake my head to try to get rid of the thought of Sara before getting into my car and driving off.
Lindsey is practically squealing as I pick her up at Nancy's place. I had told her that she would have to spend the day at her aunt's because I had to work, so me showing up was a surprise to her. I'll do anything to put a smile on my little girl's face. Her smile just warms my heart; she is all I need to wind down from work. We decide on going for ice cream and then visiting the mall to buy her some new clothes. Lindsey is a very smart girl, but today she doesn't notice I'm a bit off, probably because she was so excited.
My daughter is quite the chatterbox; she can talk a mile a minute and even make it one whole story. Her new best friend is Chloe, a girl from her class that I have seen before. Lindsey has a new best friend every couple of weeks so sometimes it is hard to keep up. Chloe's mom apparently has a girlfriend, which according to Lindsey is 'awesome'. I guess now I no longer need to worry on telling her someday that I swing both ways.
When we get home, both carrying as much bags as we can we both plop down on the couch for a movie. Lindsey asks if she can call Chloe to tell about her day and I let her. I need to unpack the groceries and start cooking. I can hear my little girl talking over the phone; she is raising her voice because she is overenthusiastic. Unconsciously I listen to the conversation.
"Oh my God Chloe, you are like the luckiest person EVER! I can't believe your mom's girlfriend is taking you to the zoo!" Lindsey gasps.
Chloe sounds so enthusiastically that I can almost hear her talk in the kitchen, it's like the little girl is sitting on the living room couch with Linds.
"So is she like your second mom now?" Linds asks. Unwillingly I lean in closer, I am very curious.
"Yeah I understand, but still, she is like your friend now."
It is silent again, Linds is listening to Chloe's rant over the phone.
"Oh! That would be sooo cool! I'll go ask my mom, hang on," Lindsey says before putting the phone on the table. She is coming this way so I have to act busy.
"Yes honey?" I answer; Lindsey wants something from me, that's obvious.
"Chloe's mom's girlfriend, who isn't her second mom, is taking Chloe to the zoo and they asked if I want to come too."
"Let me talk to Chloe's mother," I say, following a jumping Lindsey to the living room.
Lindsey quickly picks up the phone and tells Chloe to put her mother on the phone. She hands to phone to me and is staring at me in full expectation. It's cute, in a way.
"Miss Willows, my girlfriend is taking Chloe to the zoo and they would like to take Lindsey with them," Chloe's mother tells me. I'm not curious, but I still wonder how I missed that Chloe's mother swung both ways as well.
She takes my silence as hesitation. "They will have her home before dark. I just want Chloe to bond a little with my girlfriend, she has been a bit distant lately and well, she wanted Lindsey to come too."
"It's ok Miss Turner," before I can continue she cuts me off.
"Please, call me Christine."
I smile in the phone, "and I'm Catherine. It's ok; I will drop Lindsey off in half an hour."
Christine thanks me and hangs up.
"Well Linds, it looks like you are going to the zoo," I tell her with a smile. She climbs on the couch and jumps into my arms as a way of saying thank you. I love that little girl! It always amazes me that such simple things can make a child so happy; I have to admit that I miss that time sometimes.
"Oh mom, you are the best!" Lindsey says while she kisses my cheek.
I tell her to change her clothes and before I know it she is upstairs rummaging through her closet. Looks like it's going to be a day of sleep for me instead of a day of Lindsey, but we'll spend some more time together tomorrow.
Half an hour later I drop Lindsey off at Chloe's place. Christine insists I have a coffee, seeing her girlfriend isn't there yet. She is a very nice woman, I only saw her twice before at school and I wonder why I never paid more attention to her. I finish my coffee and thank Christine for inviting me in. As I drive out of the street to get home, I could have sworn it was Sara's car driving into the driveway, but it must have been my imagination. Sara's probably haunting my thoughts again and besides, half the city owns the SUV's we drive in.
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