DISCLAIMER: The Facts of Life and its characters are the property of Columbia Pictures Television and Sony Pictures Television. Lost Girl and its characters belong to Showcase. Lip Service characters are the property of the BBC, no infringement intended.
THANKS: To Stacey for the Beta, BuffyTheSlayr for the Jo/Blair illustration, and FemSlashCon'11 graphics and video panelists, grumpybear1031, SHaYch03, and cabenson for sharing their skills and advice.
SPOILERS: Lost Girl, Season One, Episode Six. Lip Service Series One.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
FEEDBACK: To FOLfan[at]ymail.com

Jo & Blair Recap Lost Girl
Episode 05

By Slave2Free


Food For Thought

Jo: Yes, yes, yes. Bo is obsessing over what to wear to her doctor's appointment.

Blair: Oh, this is so much better than the last episode.

Natalie: Bo isn't fooling Kenzi. Bo is meeting Lauren, at night, and stressing over what she should wear. I think Team Lauren is in for a good night.

Kenzi: So, what kind of test is this? Is it a sex test? Is she going to judge you on your luscious curves?

Bo: Lauren's taking me out for a night on the town. She wants to see if I've learned full control in the real world yet.

Blair: (gleeful) Sure she does.

Kenzi: Why the fashion panic?

Bo: Because I want to look nice.

Kenzi: For the test or for Lauren? Because I'm sensing some date jitters and I know you like the ladies.

Blair: Hallelujah.

Jo: After watching Bo get ready for her date, the scene shifts to —.

Natalie: She said it wasn't a date.

Blair: It's a date.

Jo: Anyway, the scene shifts to a woman, hopefully a Fae, 'cause she's eating something a human wouldn't want.

Blair: What is she chopping up?

Jo: 'People feet'.

Natalie: Ick, you mean pig's feet.

Jo: No, I mean 'people feet'.

Blair: Gag.

Jo: The woman wakes up in the middle of the night with a stomachache.

Natalie: No wonder.

Jo: When she looks in the mirror, she sees that her eyes are bleeding.

Blair: This is gross.

Jo: Close your eyes, Princess. You don't have to look at this part.

Natalie: You can open your eyes now, Blair. Bo and Lauren are downing shots, this is more your speed.

Jo: Why are you pulling for Team Lauren, Nat?

Natalie: One, I'm human. Two, Dyson is a creep. Do I need to go on?

Jo: Nope, I was just wondering. Bo and Lauren seem to be enjoying their night out on the town. It doesn't look like any doctor's appointment I ever had.

Blair: They are obviously flirting with one another.

Bo: The sexual energy in this room is off the charts tonight. So how do we do this?

Lauren: (looking at Bo like she could gobble her up) Tell me something first. When you're in a crowd like this, how do you read libido?

Blair: Well, that's a line even I've never heard before.

Jo: Bo and Lauren are having fun. Bo never has fun with Dyson. All they do is hump one another.

Blair: Jo!

Jo: Sorry.

Bo: I see energy flow.

Blair: I see Lauren undressing Bo with her eyes.

Lauren: Like an aura?

Bo: Kind of.

Natalie: Um, somebody better hose that girl down or she's going to jump Bo at the bar.

Bo: Like the more aroused someone is, the hotter they burn.

Jo: Heh, these girls definitely know what they're doing.

Lauren: (nodding toward a nearby couple) Okay, so on a scale of one to ten.

Bo: He's a four. She's a seven.

Lauren: Okay, what about me? Right now.

Bo: (giggling nervously) What about keeping this professional?

Blair: This is not the time to be coy, Bo.

Lauren: Well, call it scientific curiosity.

Bo: Okay.

Jo: Bo gives Lauren the once over. Smoldering.

Bo: Well, you are definitely curious.

Natalie: No, I'm curious. Lauren knows exactly what she wants.

Bo: I'm not so sure it's entirely scientific.

Lauren: (self-conscious after being undressed by Bo's eyes) We need another drink.

Blair: (snuggling close to Jo) Yippie, this is so much fun.

Natalie: Bo never rated Lauren's level of sexual interest.

Jo: Because she didn't want to embarrass her by telling her that she was blowing the top off of the chart.

Blair: The ladies move to a sofa in the back of the bar.

Natalie: Naturally.

Blair: And you were worried about Team Lauren.

Natalie: I wasn't worried.

Jo: I was worried.

Lauren: If I have one more lime, I'm not going to be able to feel my lips.

Bo: I like you like this. I love after-hours Lauren.

Jo, Blair, and Natalie: So do we! We LOVE 'after-hours Lauren'.

Natalie: Let's toast 'after-hours Lauren'.

Bo: You need to work on not being so in control all the time.

Lauren: No. We're here to work on you gaining control.

Bo: Okay, are you ready for this?

Lauren: (extending her hand) Hit me.

Jo: Damn. Lauren was already at level ten. A jolt of succubus sex mojo is going to send her over the edge, I swear.

Bo: Do you feel that?

Blair: Darling, I can feel that and I'm not even in the room with you.

Jo: I can't believe it. Bo's giving her another dose of succubus sex juice. I don't think Lauren can take it.

Blair: I don't think I can take it.

Jo: Lauren gasps.

Blair: Who wouldn't?

Lauren: (a little hoarse) Now focus on what you're feeling.

Bo: Hungry.

Blair: They're going to kiss.

Jo: Lauren leans forward. She's almost there. She's eyeing Bo's lips.

Blair: (Clapping)

Jo: Lauren leans closer.

Jo: Closer.

Jo: She's almost there. Bo gives her another shot of succubus arousal, as if she didn't have enough already.

Jo: Almost there.

Jo: Psych, at the very last minute Bo pulls away.

Blair: I feel woozy.

Bo: This is crazy.

Natalie: Not the word I would use.

Bo: I can't do this. Once I start feeding, I can't stop.

Lauren: Yes, you can. You just have to start believing it. You're ready, Bo.

Blair: Perhaps we should clap like we did for Tinker Bell in Peter Pan and help Bo to believe.

Jo: (rolling her eyes) We're not going to Disney World again this year.

Bo: Some other time.

Lauren: Okay.

Natalie: I don't have enough patience to be a lesbian.

Lauren: We'll keep working on it. It might help if you stop fighting your true nature. The Fae aren't monsters, Bo, and neither are you. Sleep on it. We'll talk in the morning.

Blair: Lauren's right, Bo shouldn't try to fight her true nature. No one should.

Jo: The next morning, Kenzi and Bo visit Lauren's lab. Kenzi is happy to leave when Lauren tells them that she has to reschedule because she has to make a house call, but Bo's flirtatious mood prompts Lauren to invite her along.

Blair: (clapping hands) This is the best episode so far.

Kenzi: What is this, 'take a Fae to work' day?

Jo: Kenzi needs to chill. Why is she so antagonistic toward Bo?

Blair: Kenzi was thrilled when Bo got together with Dyson. Why is she so anti-Lauren?

Natalie: Hmm, maybe she doesn't consider Wolf Boy a threat to her friendship with Bo. It's not as if Dyson could ever be Bo's best friend. Now, Lauren, who knows?

Jo: Bo is happy to go along and learn more about what Lauren does.

Blair: I bet she's going to see the woman with the bloody eyes.

Jo: Yeah. Cover your eyes until I tell you it's over.

Jo: When they arrive at the home of the sick Fae, Lauren introduces herself and flashes the emblem on her necklace. That's not good.

Natalie: Why not?

Jo: Because the necklace apparently represents the Ash.

Natalie: What's wrong with working for the Ash? He's a Light Fae.

Jo: I think it means more than that she works for him, Nat. I'm getting a bad vibe from that necklace.

Blair: You never notice when I'm wearing a new necklace. Why did you notice her necklace? Exactly what part of Lauren are you keeping your eyes on, Jo?

Jo: Give me a break. She held the necklace up in her hand and used it like it was a badge.

Natalie: You should watch that jealous streak, Blair. It's very unattractive.

Jo: Bo doesn't like the necklace, either. Intuition, I guess. Kenzi chooses to stay in the den while Bo and Lauren go in to check on the sick Fae. Lauren explains that the Fae she is treating eats human corpses.

Blair: Jo!

Jo: You might want to cover your ears, too, Princess.

Jo: Oh no. This is too gross, even for me.

Natalie: (Hands over eyes) What?

Jo: Kenzi is looking around the Fae kitchen for something to eat. Do you remember the big pot where the woman dunked the 'people feet' at the beginning of the show?

Natalie: She wouldn't! She couldn't!

Jo: She did.

Natalie: (gagging)

Jo: The scene shifts back to the bedroom.

Lauren: I'm not liking what I'm seeing. Could it be due to someone you ate?

Jo: Boy, you don't hear that question every day.

Lauren: I'll have to check your food. What have you eaten in the last twenty-four hours?

Jo: Back in the kitchen, Kenzi is really munching down on that cadaver soup.

Natalie: Jo, please.

Jo: Heh, this is the coolest episode ever. Kenzi finds out she's been munching on human toes.

Natalie: Kenzi took the news better than I would.

Jo: Lauren takes the soup back to her lab to analyze it and sends Bo to the mortuary where the foot came from so that Bo can find out more about how the human who donated the foot appetizer died.

Kenzi: I'm fantastic. Worst case scenario, I just ate toxic soup. Best case scenario, I am a toe-sucking cannibal.

Jo: I love this friggin' show.

Blair: Language.

Jo: Bo and Kenzi go to the dead guy's house, um, the guy whose foot wound up in the soup. They find that someone has trashed the house, looking for something.

Natalie: The bad guy is still there.

Jo: The bad guy gets the jump on Bo, but he makes her mad by calling her a whore and she clocks him. He runs away, but Bo can't pursue him because Kenzi is getting sick. When Kenzi looks at Bo, we can see that her eyes are bleeding, just like the sick Fae.

Natalie: Poor Kenzi.

Jo: Bo is very worried about Kenzi and takes her to Lauren, wanting reassurance, but Lauren isn't sure that she can help.

Natalie: Poor, poor Kenzi.

Jo: Lauren explains to Bo that she can treat Kenzi, but that she can't cure her.

Natalie: Why is Bo leaving Kenzi?

Jo: I should have known this would happen. Bo turns to Wolf Boy for help. She always turns to Wolf Boy in a crisis.

Natalie: She has to help Kenzi. Dyson can help Bo find out what kind of disease the 'foot guy' had so that Lauren can create an anti-toxin. I can't believe I just said that.

Jo: When Bo tells Dyson about the tattoo on the bad guy who attacked her, he recognizes it and takes Bo to the biker bar where the gang hangs out.

Blair: (finally opening her eyes) I'm glad you didn't get a biker tattoo when you were in a gang, Jo.

Jo: Heh, would you have fallen for me anyway?

Blair: (twirling her hair) Maybe.

Jo: Bo and Dyson find the biker and get him to tell them where the 'Foot Guy' may have contracted a disease.

Natalie: Bo and Dyson return to the clinic and Dyson agrees to stay with Kenzi. Oh, that's so sweet.

Jo: He's still a twerp. Bo is finally turning to Lauren for help.

Bo: Whatever is killing Kenzi is in that place. I'm breaking in and I need your help.

Lauren: Me? What can I do?

Bo: You can come with me. I need your expertise. I don't even know what I am looking for.

Lauren: It's crazy. It's too dangerous.

Jo: Bo convinces Lauren to help her.

Blair: How nice. Now Lauren will get to go on an adventure with Bo.

Jo: Lauren comes up with the idea of impersonating an inspector. She asks Dyson to delay the real inspector while she infiltrates the plant where 'foot guy' may have been infected. Lauren further explains that the Director of Operations for the company is known to be a letch, meaning that Bo's succubus powers should work very well on him.

Blair: Bo dresses seductively for her interview with the Director and he hires her as his assistant on the spot.

Lauren: We need a key pass and a voice cue. You need to get both from your boss.

Bo: Okay, no problem. I'll just succubus him.

Lauren: Again, use your head. If you lose control and start leaving bodies all over the place, it's just going to bring more attention.

Bo: If I can't succubus him, how am I supposed to pull this off?

Lauren: You have more than enough charms on your own.

Natalie: Aw, that's so sweet.

Blair: Yes, Lauren is almost as romantic as Jo.

Jo: Bo finds her boss and starts using some of the charm Lauren mentioned on him.

Jo: While Bo is seducing her boss so that she can steal his key, Lauren escapes from two security guards by setting off a smoke bomb in the lab at the plant.

Natalie: I like kick-ass Lauren.

Jo: Lauren calls Bo and tells her that everything is set for Bo to break into the secret room, but when Bo tries to get into the room, she is stopped by another security guard. She tries to get past him without using her succubus powers, but winds up having to suck out his life force.

Blair: Couldn't you phrase that more delicately, Jo?

Jo: Sucking someone's life force is not a delicate process, Blair.

Jo: Bo is thrilled that she was able to stop sucking out the guard's life force before killing him.

Natalie: I know why she's so happy about that.

Blair: So do I. It means that she can have sex with Lauren without suc . . . I mean, um, without dire consequences.

Jo: Unfortunately, Bo didn't suck enough of the guard's life force because he comes to his senses and pulls a gun on her. Lauren shows up in the nick of time and thrusts a syringe into the guard's neck.

Natalie: I love kick-ass Lauren.

Bo: Look at you, saving my ass, huh.

Lauren: I know. That was incredible.

Jo: Bo and Lauren head for the lab, but Bo stops long enough to tell Lauren that she was able to stop herself from sucking the life out of the guard.

Natalie: Lauren grins. She knows what that means, too.

Jo: The girls high five one another, probably figuring they'll have a chance to test Bo's newfound restraint in a more private setting.

Jo: Bo and Lauren find a seriously toxic 'under thing' in the lab. Lauren needs to take a sample from it in order to create an anti-toxin for Kenzi. Lauren has trouble drawing the sample, so Bo steps in to help.

Jo: Lauren and Bo race to the Fae bar, where Dyson has been caring for Kenzi, with the anti-toxin.

Bo: Hey, Lauren. Thank you, for everything.

Jo: Lauren seductively places her hands on Bo's shoulders.

Natalie: Is that a seductive move?

Jo and Blair: (gazing into one another's eyes) Yes.

Lauren: I should be thanking you. It was really nice to get out of my shell for a little while.

Jo: Wolf Boy stands in the background eating his heart out. Go Lauren!

Bo: Um, Lauren, listen . . . I'm—.

Natalie: Oh no. Bo feels bad for Wolf Boy and is blowing off Lauren.

Lauren: It's okay. I know we're not undercover anymore. This is the real world. I'm happy Kenzi is going to be okay. I should go.

Blair: Sadly, Lauren leaves.

Jo: Damn Wolf Boy.

Dyson: Everything all good?

Bo: It's great, actually. Kenzi's on the mend. I scored major points with the Ash for helping solve this, and my sex life is no longer on the critical list.

Dyson: Oh yeah? How so?

Bo: My training is working. I can probably have sex with humans now with no casualties.

Dyson: Well, that's a good thing. I guess we have the good doctor to thank for that?

Jo: Damn right, you smarmy Wolf Boy.

Dyson: Is she going to be your first test subject?

Bo: Would that be a problem?

Dyson: What you do with other people is your business.

Natalie: BIG mistake, Wolf Boy.

Bo: So, you wouldn't mind if I started seeing other people then, hypothetically?

Dyson: Not at all.

Jo: Dyson leaves and Bo considers his casual attitude.

Bo: Good to know.

Blair: Yea Team Lauren!

Natalie: It was nice to see a Laruen-centric episode. Now I'm in the mood to see how Team Frankie is doing.

Blair: Team Sam.

Natalie: Let's make some popcorn before we watch the final episode of Lip Service.

Jo: No. I never did get to see the first part of episode five after Blair ruined the DVD. I'm not leaving this room until you put episode six into the DVD player.

Blair: (smiling innocently) Jo's right. I can be so clumsy sometimes.

Jo: Aw, that's okay, Princess. I know you didn't ruin the DVD on purpose.

Natalie: (snickering) I'm sure we didn't miss anything important.

(Approximately one hour later)

Natalie: What did I tell you, huh? The heart wants what the heart wants.

Blair: Poor Detective Sergeant Murray.

Jo: Yeah, I feel bad for her, too, and I don't even like her.

Natalie: (turning to Jo) What would you do if Blair ever cheated on you?

Blair: (after pushing Natalie off of the sofa) That's NOT funny, Natalie!

To Be Continued

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