Lawyered - BAREBONES VERSION
Recap by Misty Flores
PACO'S BATHROOM
Paco finishes up his shower, and is startled when he discovers Mariano in the bathroom, sitting on the toilet despondently. Mariano doesn't know what to do about Marina, but before he can get into it, Sara bursts into the bathroom and asks Paco for the keys to his car so she can borrow it. Paco refuses, but Sara wonders how she's going to learn how to drive if she never can borrow the car.
Mariano agrees and suggests that Paco just buy Sara a car. Sara happily agrees with this idea, but Paco complains he has no money left from paying for DL's operation (remember the kidney?) and he wants them both to leave.
But now PEPA enters the bathroom.
PEPA: Hey brother, I need to talk to you.
She glances at Mariano and Sara.
PEPA: Do you mind?
Mariano gets up and sighs.
MARIANO: We need to talk, Paco.
PACO: Okay!
MARIANO: It's coming, and I don't know what to do or what to say Paco-
Pepa closes the door behind them. Paco sighs in exasperation, hiding naked behind his shower curtain.
PACO: What?!
PEPA: I just don't know what to do with Silvia, Brother! She's asked me that I leave her alone, but I'm acting like a real psycho! I've spent all week calling her – on her cellphone, at the hotel – and nothing. And I don't know what to do for her to pay attention to me.
Paco is naked and wet and cold and tired.
PACO: Well, I don't know, if she doesn't pay attention to you then file a complaint against her for mobbing! What do I know, whatever you want but pass me a towel, dammit-
The door opens and Mariano and Sara storm back in. As they talk, Pepa gets a gleam of an idea in her eye.
MARIANO: Paco! Paco!
SARA: Dad, seriously! Let me take it today! Even if only to the precinct! And I won't ask again!
Pepa, still thinking, sits on the toilet, lost in her idea.
PACO: What the hell do you think I am, a counselor?! One who wants to leave his girlfriend, the other one wants to get back with her-
Sara and Mariano look at Pepa.
PACO: Look, when I get out, we'll all sit in the living room and have group therapy, but for now GIVE ME THE TOWEL-
DL storms in.
DL: Paco! Get out of there right now, I'm peeing my pants. What the hell is everyone doing in here?!
Paco sighs.
PACO: That's what I'm saying, Don Lorenzo! That's what I'm saying!
He swings the curtain closed.
__
SILVIA'S LAB
Silvia walks into the lab, getting ready for her day. She settles her things down and heads to the mail, when she spots a particular letter. She opens it up.
She reads it, just as Pepa passes by without looking.
SILVIA: Pepa!
Silvia runs after her. Pepa stops with a look of smug satisfaction.
SILVIA: Have you pressed charges against me for mobbing?
Pepa grins to herself and turns around, nodding in the affirmative.
PEPA: You're my superior. And you've been ignoring me for more than a week. You've ignored my calls, my messages, months of work – with despise and indifference. The union told me there is enough there to press charges.
SILVIA: I told you to leave me alone. I asked you as a favor.
PEPA: And I asked you to let me explain myself. If this is the only way…
They stare at each other.
SILVIA: You're deranged.
She walks away, a half smile on her face and shuts the door. Pepa smiles, and walks off.
--
THE GARAGE
Pepa (in an awesome jacket) heads down to her car. Sara chases her. Neither see Aitor crouched down working with his motorcycle.
SARA: Pepa! Pepa!
PEPA: What up, Niece?
SARA: I heard about Silvia… about the mobbing.
PEPA: If you're here to scold me, don't even-
SARA: Look, Pepa, when I've had to confront you and tell you that you're an impulsive idiot I've done it.
Pepa stares at her, but Sara starts laughing.
SARA: But if I had lost Lucas, and the only way to get him back would be to press charges against him for mobbing, I'd plaster his wall with them!
Pepa grins.
PEPA: I'm going to grab a beer. Will you come?
SARA: I can't. I have to buy Lucas a gift; his birthday is in three days. What should I get him?
Pepa thinks about it.
SARA: And when it's our anniversary?
Pepa's phone starts to ring.
PEPA: … Lingerie is always a classic.
She checks her phone.
PEPA: It's the delegate of the Syndicate. I guess there's no beer for me.
She kisses Sara and answers her phone.
SARA: Bye, tall girl.
--
THE BRIEFING ROOM
Pepa is sitting with her lawyer. DL is sorting through her charges.
DL: These charges are so… drop the suit, Agent Miranda. You have no basis for these charges.
PEPA: Don Lorenzo-
DL: That's an order.
LAWYER: Commissioner, with all due respect, a charge of mobbing is not something to be taken lightly.
DL: What the hell are you talking about? Don't you see? Inspector Castro and this impulsive idiot are sisters-in-law – not to mention – a couple. Do you get it? They're lesbians, dammit!
The lawyer gives Pepa an impressed look. Pepa grins proudly.
DL: And the Sub-Inspector (she's a subinspector now?! When did that happen? This show is so confusing) is using legal channels to solve a personal problem.
LAWYER: According to my client's allegations-
DL: Your client's allegations?! Do you want me to tell you where I'm going to put your client's allegations?
Pepa leans forward to whisper in her laywer's ear.
PEPA: On his fucking balls.
DL: Exactly! On my fucking balls!
He gets up, furious.
DL: A circus! This precinct is turning into a fucking circus! We're always the eye in the fucking storm! The other stations call us Gossip Central! Fuck!
Pepa laughs. Silvia walks in with her lawyer, poker faced.
DL hugs Silvia. Silvia and Pepa stare at each other.
DL: Silvia, thank God you're here. This is insane. See if you talk to this pig-headed idiot and convince her to drop the charges!
Silvia sits down as Silvia's lawyer hands Pepa's lawyer a paper. He reads it.
SILVIA'S LAWYER: Excuse me.
PEPA'S LAWYER: You're accusing Agent Miranda of Sexual Harassment?!
DL blinks.
DL: What you mean, another charge?!
He turns helplessly to Silvia.
DL: Another charge, daughter!?
Silvia glares smugly, eyes only for Pepa.
SILVIA: I have the list of calls that I've gotten on the telephone from Agent Miranda. A total of 62. 47 to my cellphone, and 15 to my room at the Miterrand Hotel in Lyon. Seven bouquets…
Pepa smiles proudly, and Silvia loses her train of thought. She swallows and keeps going.
SILVIA: Seven bouquets of flowers sent to my name at the hotel. And what's more a total of 31 emails. This is my lawyer Sebastian Pertellez.
Pepa grins, absurdly happy that Silvia has decided to play her game. DL is less amused.
DL: Fucking… girls… this is SHIT! IT'S SHIT!
He storms out.
SILVIA'S LAB
Paco and Povedilla are looking at the autopsy of a man who has been slain by a serial killer. Silvia stops by with a report.
SILVIA: I've got the results of the test. The victim had gonorrhea, but it's improbable that that has anything to do with the murder. Paco, I'm leaving – I've got the hearing.
She heads out.
AT THE HEARING
A judge is now presiding in the room with Silvia, Pepa, their lawyers, and a hovering Don Lorenzo.
JUDGE: On the 16th of February at 12:34 hours Agent Miranda entered in a charge of mobbing against Inspectora Castro, alleging that the accused carried of attitude of total indifference to her-
DL: What indifference!? What charge!? Inspector Castro was on a mission for work-
JUDGE: I won't tell you again, Commissioner Castro.
DL shuts up. The judge picks up again.
JUDGE: Of total indifference towards Agent Miranda, to the point where she would not say one word to her, which made it difficult for her in the professional workplace. How do you plead?
SILVIA'S LAWYER: My client pleads innocent, your Honor.
Pepa gives Silvia an adoring, smug smile. Silvia's is cool and collected, but also smug.
JUDGE: That same day, but at 18:12 hours, Inspector Castro entered a charge for sexual harassment against Agent Miranda, and is seeking a restraining order against Agent Miranda, alleging that the defendant does not accept the end of a personal relationship-
Pepa's smile drops. Silvia stares at her unflinchingly.
DL: The end of what!? A personal relationship!? This is a fucking lovers quarrel! It's a teenage soap! They're wasting our time!
Pepa is wounded. The judge gets up.
JUDGE: I've already warned you, you're in contempt of the court. Get out of this room immediately. Later I'll tell you the quantity of the fine.
DL: You're going to fine me!? Me!? In my station!?
The stricken look in Pepa's eyes becomes too much for Silvia, who looks away.
DL: Do you want me to tell you where you can put your fine!? Do you want me to tell you!?
SILVIA: Dad… Dad.
JUDGE: Commissioner, please don't make me order your own men to take you out of here.
DL is furious. He glares at Pepa, who can only stare at him, aware that this has gotten completely out of hand. He slams the door.
JUDGE: I'll keep reading. Since the defendant does not accept the end of a personal relationship, and continues harassing her with phone calls, emails and various gifts to the claimant. How does the defendant plead?
PEPA'S LAYWER: My client pleads inno-
PEPA: Guilty.
Pepa's lawyer sighs. Silvia blinks, surprised.
PEPA LAWYER: Great.
He sits back down.
PEPA: And if you're going to put into effect that restraining order, then you might as well send me to prison right now. Because I'm not going to be able to comply with that order.
She stares pleadingly at Silvia.
PEPA: Not because I don't want to, but because I can't. Because I can't stand the thought of being more than 2 centimeters apart from the claimant.
This is a direct call back to the scene they had last season, where Pepa and Silvia joke about the restraining order, and Pepa's suggestion that she ask the judge to make sure they're no more than 2 centimeters apart at all times.
Silvia stares, overwhelmed. Pepa sighs, lost.
PEPA: So… do what you have to do, your Honor.
The judge doesn't know WHAT to do. Pepa looks at Silvia, all the love in her eyes shining with her tears. The judge looks at Silvia.
Silvia's cold expression breaks, little by little, as tears start to pool in her eyes.
She can't take it. She gets up and leaves.
End Episode