8x05: Love Unrequited
Recap by Misty Flores
Previously on LHDP: Love triangles abounded when Curtis told Rita that Montoya was actually in love with her, despite the fact that Montoya was perfectly happy with her cousin Marga, resulting in Rita being unable to take waiting around for Montoya to make his move and filling Marga in on the notion that Montoya loved Rita and not her.
Curtis didn't fare much better. He believed wholeheartedly that Pepa was in love with him and even asked Silvia for advice on how to handle Pepa, unaware that Pepa and Silvia are having an affair behind his back and are more in love than ever. When Pepa tried to end things, he only resolved to try harder, but got his heart broken when discovered Pepa and Silvia having sex in the locker room.
Aitor divided his time between helping Paco and Mariano interrogate an assassin from the Italian mob, and stepping up his pursuit of Sara. He ended up manhandling her into a kiss. Meanwhile, the Italian mob took revenge by kidnapping Nelson, and Paco, Mariano and Aitor pretended to be corrupted policemen to facilitate the trade.
EPISODE 8x05: Love Unrequited
The Shooting Gallery
Aitor wanders into the shooting gallery, where Rita and Curtis both occupy a stall. He takes the third.
AITOR: The Royal Spanish Academy defines the word 'impossible' as something that doesn't have the facilities or means to come to pass or succeed.
He flashes on images of Sara.
AITOR: And they define 'improbable' as something implausible that isn't founded on prudent reason.
We move to Rita.
RITA: Given the choice, I prefer the improbable over the impossible.
She thinks of Montoya.
RITA: Like everyone does, I suppose.
We move to Curtis.
CURTIS: The improbable hurts less, and it leaves us with a glimmer of hope…
He thinks of Pepa.
CURTIS: For something extraordinary.
They load shells into their guns.
AITOR: That David beat Goliath was improbable, but it happened.
RITA: An African-American living in the White House was improbable, but it happened.
CURTIS: That the band 'Baron Rojo' would ever play together again was improbable, but it also happened.
They snap the bullets home.
AITOR: Nadal taking the number one spot from Federer-
RITA: A journalist becoming a princess…
CURTIS: The 12-1 win against Malta…
They put on shooting glasses and ear muffs.
AITOR: Love, relationships, feelings… they're not founded on logic or reason. That's why I don't like to talk about impossible love, but improbable love.
We now see images of scenes to come: Rita after Montoya, Curtis trying to kiss Silvia (and Pepa headpalming), Aitor and Sara kissing.
AITOR: Because the improbable is by definition probable. That which most certainly won't happen, can actually happen.
They cock their guns.
AITOR: And while there is a chance, half a chance in a billion that it can actually happen…
They take aim.
AITOR: It's worth a try.
The screen fades, and shots ring out.
PACO'S BATHROOM
The men have brought Povedilla in on the knowledge that they're holding an Italian hostage to exchange for Nelson. Povedilla frets, like he likes to do. Mariano drills a hole in the wall for a screw while Paco feeds the Italian. Don Lorenzo comes in, and they are forced to scramble into the bathtub while DL comes in to use the toilet.
CREDITS.
The men are aghast to learn that DL is feeling sick and is calling in sick. They handcuff the Italian to the wall and fret about what to do. Mariano decides to break the toilet.
CACHI'S
Pepa and Silvia have breakfast together, openly smitten.
PEPA: Don't look at me that way.
SILVIA: How am I looking at you?
Pepa smiles as Silvia stares at her adoringly.
PEPA: Like THAT.
It doesn't deter Silvia, who just looks more besotted. As Pepa reaches for the croissant, Silvia interlocks their fingers.
SILVI: But I like looking at you.
Pepa smiles, and they clasp fingers intimately, until Pepa spots Curtis standing in the doorway. She gently disengages.
Silvia sighs, but plays along. Curtis, however, is still hurt and angry. He takes a breath for strength and comes forward.
CURTIS: Sweetheart, what a coincidence to see you here! What a coincidence to see you with Silvia! Right?
Pepa and Silvia eye each other, unsure where this is going.
CURTIS: God, so many coincidences! Because obviously the two of you here having breakfast together has to be a coincidence.
Silvia stares at Pepa warily. Pepa gulps down her coffee.
PEPA: Well, yes, honestly. But we've just finished, and now we're on our way to the precinct.
Silvia smiles her agreement and they both try to get up, but Curtis stops them.
CURTIS: Well, this coincidence comes to me as a happy surprise. Leo! [he waves to the Cachi's manager] Order me one of those delicious salads. I'm hungry, and I'm going to take care of myself.
He grabs a chair and sits down.
CURTIS: I wanted to have a talk with both of you.
Silvia isn't up for it. She shakes her finger no, as she downs her drink.
SILVIA: I have to go to the precinct, I've got such a mess there-
CURTIS: - A mess is what's become of my love life, Redhead. Do me a favor and sit down.
Uncertain, Silvia looks to Pepa for her cue. Pepa nods her head silently. Silvia sits down reluctantly.
CURTIS: Much better.
Pepa doesn't know what to expect. Silvia arches her brow curiously at her. Curtis eyes them both.
CURTIS: I know you're still together.
Caught, they don't know what to do.
CURTIS: And I'm only going to tell you one thing. I understand it.
THE BULLPEN
Montoya calls Marga, and only gets voicemail. Rita introduces him to officers from Internal Affairs. He's familiar with one, and suspicious. The Internal Affairs officer tells him they're just there to help two recent graduates familiarize themselves with the precincts. Montoya remains suspicious but goes with it, asking Rita to bring the current cases. Rita leaves, but not before slapping him on the ass.
CACHI'S
Leo brings Curtis his salad.
LEO: A salad over here…
Pepa's eyes are wide, but Silvia just smirks at her.
LEO: If you need anything else Curtis, just let me know, okay?
CURTIS: Thank you, gorgeous.
He resumes his conversation.
CURTIS: I just want to ask you one thing. Don't exclude me!
They stare at him in shock. Curtis keeps eating.
CURTIS: I'm just saying… If you're going to keep sleeping together then fuck, let me be a part of it! If it's absolutely necessary to revisit the past, then let's mix it up, and it'll happen and it's done – but I want to be there. I WANT to be there.
He glares at Silvia. He's completely serious. Stunned, the girls stay quiet.
CURTIS: And now, if there isn't anything else, that's all I wanted to say to you.
He gets up. The girls don't know what to say. Curtis leans toward Pepa.
CURTIS: I'll see you at the precinct, Pe?
He pecks her on the lips. Pepa makes no response. Silvia smirks.
CURTIS: Girls, try the salad, it's amazing.
He heads out. Silvia gasps in disbelief and amusement.
SILVIA: No!
PACO'S HOUSE
Paco tries to convince DL to get out of the house, but he's not moving. Aitor brings over some rats in a cage for Paco and Mariano to make DL think the places is infested with rats. Sara comes over to ask someone for help with her broken iron.
Aitor takes the opportunity to apologize for manhandling her the day before. He tells her it wasn't fair to her, and she can't help not feeling the way he does. She responds by shoving her tongue down his throat and telling him she loves him. They make out until they're interrupted by Paco, who tells Sara to leave because they have rats.
Aitor and Sara sneak out while Povedilla, Paco and Mariano climb all over DL, screaming about the rats.
THE PRECINCT
Montoya goes over the cases with the Internal Affairs officers, but is hampered by Rita leaving love notes on all the cases and trying to grope his privates. His suspicions worsen when the head officer asks for the security tapes for the previous couple days.
The IA officer denies coming for anything, and Montoya has no choice but to ask Rita to go get clearance for the tapes. Rita does, but not before flashing 'Love you' at him, written on her eyelids ala Indiana Jones. Montoya is annoyed.
PACO'S HOUSE
The men set up rat traps. Paco frets about telling DL they have an assassin in their bathroom but Mariano tells them it's their problem and they'll handle it. DL gets up and decides to go to Sara's to use the bathroom, but spots Aitor and Sara making out in Lucas' apartment. Aitor and Sara say they'll stop their affair tomorrow.
THE LAB
Pepa is analyzing something on the microscope (Seriously. She is. Yeah. I don't know either. Maybe Silvia's been giving her lessons), when Silvia comes in with a tray of samples.
Silvia grins gleefully.
SILVIA: Hello there, Pe.
At the use of Curtis' new pet name for her, Pepa rolls her eyes and sighs heavily. But Silvia's not done.
SILVIA: Hey, I don't know if I should buy myself a new bra. I was thinking of the big day… Look.
She pulls back her shirt and flashes Pepa a bit of her bra.
SILVIA: I don't know if this is uni-sex enough. Do you think our boyfriend Curtis will like it?
Pepa is not amused.
PEPA: That is not in the least bit funny.
SILVIA: Yes it is.
PEPA: No it isn't.
Silvia grins and leans forward, in between Pepa's legs.
SILVIA: Yes it is.
PEPA: No it-
Silvia presses a kiss to her lips, and Pepa melts a little.
PEPA: - isn't.
SILVIA: Yes it is.
PEPA: No.
But she's smiling, as she pulls Silvia closer, and they kiss again.
PEPA: No it isn't.
She smoothes hands up Silvia's back, underneath her shirt.
PEPA: You know what's really funny? THIS is funny!
In two seconds, she has managed to pull off Silvia's bra (DAMN. That woman has talent). She waves it in the air and scampers, keeping it out of Silvia's reach, laughing.
SILVIA: Hey! Give me back my uni-sex bra! Give it to me!
Pepa keeps it just out of her reach. Silvia climbs all over her, trying to get it.
PEPA: Give me a kiss first!
Silvia laughs and keeps trying to grab it. She grabs hold of it, but abandons it to press a heated kiss against Pepa's mouth.
Another few moments of play and then they both forget about the bra in favor of making out. The kissing is tender and passionate.
Curtis, walking past, spots the love scene from the open blinds of the window. Pepa and Silvia, involved in each other, are oblivious.
Curtis opens the door.
CURTIS: Girls, girls, girls…
He winks at them skeevily.
PACO'S BATHROOM
Left alone, the Italian tries to pull out the screw. Paco and Mariano realize that DL isn't disturbed by the rats and attribute it to him having lived through the post war era. DL bursts in and says he's going to the precinct. The Italian mob calls Mariano. They tell him to meet in a half hour.
THE LAB
The girls stand awkwardly as Curtis, the door now locked, stands between them.
CURTIS: Maybe I didn't explain myself properly… this isn't easy for me either.
He ventures toward Silvia. Pepa is so confused and shocked she just stands there.
CURTIS: Just like it's not easy for you, right beautiful?
He lunges forward, planting a kiss on Silvia. Pepa headpalms, unnerved. Silvia recoils immediately, shoving him away.
SILVIA: CURTIS!
She glares at him, and then at Pepa, and unlocks the door, storming off.
Pepa, now in the doghouse, glares at Curtis too, as she settles on the stool.
Curtis backs away, confidence broken.
THE MEETING PLACE
While the Italian in Paco's bathroom tries unsuccessfully to unscrew the hook he's tied to, Paco and Mariano meet the mobsters, who present them with a picture of Nelson. They keep up their cover as corrupt cops and agree to come to a working relationship with them. The mobsters assure them of Nelson's safety, as long as their man is returned safely.
The Italian collapses against the hook, while Sara and Aitor keep making out, until Aitor rams his head into the screw that went through the wall. He gets a call from DL who tells him to come down to the station, and then takes a hammer, and hammers the screw back through the wall.
This proves awesome for the Italian, who watches in wonder as he's set free. He tiptoes through the house, but since Povedilla took off his shoes when they got wet, he gets his toes jammed into the mouse traps. This causes him to trip and before he knows it he's impaled himself on the broken toilet, which is ironic, considering his assassin nickname is Fabrizzio the Impaler.
And he's dead.
THE PRECINCT
The Internal Affairs Officer tells his colleagues who he's looking for, the very assassin that Paco and Mariano had in their apartment. They found him on security camera footage about 20 feet from the precinct, and want to see if he was inside. Rita comes with the tapes and takes them to an office to look at them.
In the interrogation room, Povedilla helps DL set up the polygraph. When Aitor comes in, he asks him to help test it, and then when he's hooked up, asks him if he's having an affair with Sara. Aitor freaks out, and after intense denials, rips off the equipment and storms out.
PACO'S HOUSE
Paco and Mariano come with an envelope full of money given to them by the mobsters. They've recorded everything and agree to report to DL once they've given the exchange for Nelson and the Italian – who is found dead on their floor, impaled by the broken toilet.
AT THE PRECINCT
Rita gives Povedilla a delivery of flowers to give to Sara. He protests on account of his allergies, but she doesn't take no for an answer.
Kike and Curtis walk by. Kike has a brochure in his hands.
KIKE: Are you crazy!? You can't take the sister-in-laws to the country for a threesome! Don Lorenzo will castrate you, Paco will castrate you, this entire precinct will castrate you!
CURTIS: It's not even about that!
KIKE: Yes, that's exactly what this is about, Curtis! Day and night, fantasizing about a threesome! This has been your fantasy your whole life!
Curtis snatches the brochure.
CURTIS: You really want to know what my fucking fantasy is? Should I tell you? Well, Pepa! Pepa Miranda is my fucking dream!
He settles down.
PACO'S HOUSE
The Italians' Capo calls Mariano. Paco orders him to stall.
AT THE PRECINCT
Curtis continues his conversation with Kike.
CURTIS: I couldn't care less about threesomes or fantasies! What I really want is to get up every morning a half hour before she does, play a Scorpion's ballad for her and make her breakfast, fresh squeezed orange juice, just how she likes it. That's what I want! And if to get all that, I have to share her with Silvia, Angelina Jolie or Esperanza Aguirre?, I'll do it! I don't want it, or even know how it would work, but I'll do it, dammit! I love her!
Montoya interrupts and asks Curtis if he's told Rita anything about his feelings for her. Curtis confesses he did, but wants to know what the problem is. If Rita's making herself available, isn't that what Montoya wants? Montoya doesn't answer.
PACO'S HOUSE
Mariano ends up accidentally just negotiating a better cut for them than actually stalling. Someone shows up at the house.
AT THE PRECINCT
Povedilla looks at Sara's flowers, and reads the card. Montoya says he's looking for Rita. Povedilla watches Aitor and Sara, and then sighs and goes to deliver the flowers.
CANTINA MARIACHI
DL eats lunch and spots Aitor. He makes him come over. Before he can get further, Aitor tells him to butt out of his life, to take his badge and shove it where the sun doesn't shine, and calls him a real son of a bitch.
Instead of bitchslapping the little punk, DL just tells him if he's going to be with Sara, DL wants to know what kind of guy he is, because he doesn't know anything about him.
THE PRECINCT
Sara gets the flowers. They're from Lucas, and they say that he had an opportunity for a promotion but turned it down because it would have meant three more years apart. He tells her he's coming home in 8 weeks.
Povedilla sees how torn she is and tells her that when he met Rita he had been seeing someone else, and how he almost gave up Rita to stay with someone he no longer wanted to be with, but then he would have regretted it forever. He tells Sara not to do something she'll regret forever.
TRANSCRIBERS NOTE: Seriously, does NO one care she's MARRIED to Lucas? Like, vows and everything!? Augh.
He leaves Sara and gets the packet full of money from Mariano/Paco.
CANTINA MARIACHI
Aitor and Don Lorenzo have a talk, and DL tells Aitor that if Sara wants to spend her life with him, he's fine with it. Aitor is overwhelmed with gratitude.
THE PRECINCT
The IA officers watch the recording of Paco/Mariano pretending to be corrupt officers. Montoya comes in looking for Rita, but again accuses them of having nefarious intentions. They show him the video.
PACO'S HOUSE
Paco and Mariano decide to take the body to meet the Italians and make the switch before they realize he's dead. They put the body in Mariano's room, but when DL comes home, Mariano has to do some quick thinking and tell DL he's had a wild night with an old friend and one thing led to another. Disgusted, DL leaves. He gets a call from Montoya who tells him he has to go to the precinct immediately.
THE PRECINCT
Rita finds Montoya, who asks her to have a coffee with him.
THE LOCKER ROOM
Povedilla looks for a place to stash the money. He puts it in with his dirty underwear, and then sneaks out just as Curtis sneaks in.
They regard each other suspiciously, and then skirt past each other. Povedilla makes his escape.
Alone, Curtis begins to pick Pepa's locker, but after a moment, thinks better of it and picks open Silvia's locker.
He pulls en envelope from underneath his shirt and with a hopeful kiss against the paper, throws it in Silvia's locker and shuts the door. As he's locking it, he hears Silvia's voice and runs for a cubicle.
Silvia comes, an irritated Pepa behind her. The lovebirds are in mid-argument.
SILVIA: Pepa, this is very serious! You have to stop it, now!
PEPA: Oh, now it's serious! Before you thought it was freaking hilarious!
Curtis smiles hopefully.
SILVIA: It was hilarious right up until he stuck his tongue down my throat!
He winces. Pepa closes the door and sighs. Silvia fishes for her locker room key, trying to get the truth into Pepa's dense head.
SILVIA: Look, Pepa. It's one thing that you lied, telling him you loved him because he was dying, and it's another to keep the charade up forever.
Dismayed, Curtis holds still.
SILVIA: Pepa, he's so blind he won't ever realize that you're avoiding him. Can't you see? He's like a little boy with a melting ice cream cone! And the worst thing is, he has no idea that it's going to fall.
PEPA: Fuck.
Curtis is devastated.
PEPA: I just don't know how things have gotten so out-of-hand.
Silvia finds the envelope.
PEPA: It's horrible, but Curtis makes me feel SO sorry for him.
The pity of the woman he loves breaks his already splintering heart.
Silvia's read the writing on the envelope and matter-of-factly pulls the brochure out of it, glaring at Pepa.
PEPA: What's that? What's in that envelope?
Silvia shows her the envelope: Weekend for 3. Pepa's eyes pop out of her head.
Curtis wipes desperately at his tears.
CURTIS: Nothing.
With as much pride as he can muster, he moves fast and yanks the paper from Silvia's hand.
CURTIS: That envelope is nothing.
He walks out. Pepa heads palms again, as Silvia stares at her.
Curtis closes the door behind him, and with a broken heart, drops the brochure in the trash.
THE BREAKROOM
Montoya frankly tells Rita that he's in love with her cousin. What he felt for her was pure confusion, and he's sorry. Rita tries to play it off, but when Montoya leaves, she's devastated, and begins to cry.
PACO'S HOUSE
Aitor shows up with a wheelchair, but before he sees Paco, he knocks at Sara's door. When she opens it, he tells her there's still time before midnight, and he kisses her. She pushes him away and shows him Lucas' bouquet. It's not going to happen.
Aitor, Rita and Curtis all sit/stand dejectedly broken hearted – their improbable loves have become impossible.
They cry.
THE BRIEFING ROOM
Montoya shows DL the video. He says there has to be an explanation. The IA affairs officer Trijullo says maybe Montoya didn't notice because he was too busy flaunting his affair with the little fat officer. That sets Montoya off, he nearly chokes him before Dl pulls him off. Trijullo orders the suspects arrested.
PACO'S HOUSE
The trio put make up on Fabrizzio (the Italian), to try and make him look alive. Paco is overwhelmed with guilt, but Mariano says the death and resulting chaos is his fault. Aitor tells them this is a fucking mess they're in, but they'll get out of it for Nelson. He tells them to pick up the Italians' call for Nelson. Paco answers it.
They head out onto the terrace with the dead body, but stop dead when they're suddenly surrounded with IA officers, pointing guns at them.
End EPISODE
NEXT: Episode 8x06: When Aitor gets shot, he holes himself up in Rita's house in an attempt to let Paco and Mariano escape and make their rendezvous with the Italians to save Nelson. Meanwhile, IA Agent Trujillo accuses Silvia, DL and Povedilla of being accomplices to Mariano and Paco, Silvia for not reporting the uranium, DL for living with them and never noticing the hostage in their house,and Povedilla for holding onto the money. Dl and Paco's men rally together to try and stave off the investigation, and get to Paco so he can explain himself, and save everyone's careers and lives.