DISCLAIMER: Jerry Bruckheimer, CBS and various others own CSI, not me. I just played in their sandpit for a while.
SERIES/SEQUEL: Second part of 'The Nina Simone Suite', following Little Visions of You.
SPOILERS: Set around and after the Season 5 Episode: Ch-Ch-Changes.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
DEDICATED: For the one I love as always.
She liked to be noticed. I got that. What took me some time to figure was that she liked to be noticed by me.
Me. The woman who wasted two years of her life hating Catherine Willows with a passion and the next two years being secretly in love with her. And then just a few months after the wake-up call of my DUI charge and the realization that Catherine Willows would never feel about me the way I felt about her, Mia Dickerson comes waltzing into my life.
She would come ask me things. Not Catherine, not Greg, not Warrick, not Nick, not even Grissom. Me. I had never thought of myself as being particularly approachable before. In fact I'm pretty certain I'm not. I don't mean to scowl at people, really. It's just the way my face goes when I'm thinking about stuff. I've lost count of the number of times people have said to me in passing: "Cheer up, it might never happen." God, that pisses me off. I mean, what the hell do they know!
Most of the time when Mia talks to me it's to do with the case. At least peripherally. But sometimes it's as if she was asking me my opinion on something, as if she's sounding me out, trying to subtly find out what made Sara Sidle tick.
She could be in for a disappointment there. This job is by far the most interesting thing about me and she already knows all there is to know about that. Otherwise she wouldn't be here.
Her curiosity about the first vic, Wendy Garner, about the etiquette of dealing with the transgendered. This is Las Vegas, there are way more than two genders here, every creed and colour and sexuality under the sun. Makes my own preferences almost vanilla. And I'm guessing her own.
I don't know whether she is and she's just playing coy, being safe, sounding out the territory, or she's just curious. I've come a long way in that regard myself. I remember the first time I went to Lady Heather's. I can't believe how uptight I was. Catherine just took it all in her stride. But then not much fazes her.
Then there was that joke/story Mia shared with me. I just didn't know what to say to her about that. It wasn't in bad taste, not exactly, just out there somewhere. I couldn't quite put my finger on what she was trying to convey to me. I took it as a bad sign that the only other person who can make me that tongue-tied is Catherine.
I really really don't need this complication in my life right now.
When I went to my mandatory counseling for my DUI charge I decided that I did not have a problem with alcohol. I had a problem with me. I swore that I would change. And since then I have done precisely nothing. I still work too much. I still spend my free time doing work related stuff. I still haven't sorted out my feelings for Catherine, never mind Grissom. I have to ask myself do I really need another work based relationship real or imagined right now.
Sequel Let It Be Me
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