DISCLAIMER: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit is the property of NBC and Dick Wolf, and being used without permission or intention of profit.
SERIES: The final part of the Desktop Confessionals series following A Plain Morning, The Choice I have Come to Fear the Most, The Passenger, The District Sleeps Alone Tonight, Drifting, Newfound Masses, Such Great Heights and Rapid Hope Loss.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
SPOILER: Loss.
When Night is Falling
By JB
In my sleep induced haze I feel you enter the room. I'm not sure how much time has gone by, but when I ask you tell me it's only been about twenty minutes. I'm laying on my side, my hair strewn behind me. I tell you the apartment's colder than I remember and you throw another blanket over the bed before sliding in. I feel you lay behind me, your body apprehensively moving towards mine. Words come out of your mouth, but I'm in that place between consciousness and sleep and I don't understand what you're saying. All I hear is the "I'm sorry" as you softly touch your feet to mine. I physically jump at the cold contact. A throaty laugh makes its way past your lips and the tension is broken. I think I may have mumbled an acceptance of the apology because in an instant you're spooned up behind me, your face buried into my hair. I snuggle back into you and revel in your strong embrace.
One of your hands finds its way to my bare hip and you squeeze me strongly yet softly. I'm still half asleep and cannot put enough energy into turning around and facing you. You don't seem to mind and continue roaming your hands over my body. I feel your breathing get more shallow as you move up my stomach and onto my breast. I feel my own body start to respond, yet I still do not have the energy or presence of mind to flip over.
You rest your hand over my heart briefly before moving downward again. This time you find my thighs and gently move inward as you do. I gasp at the contact and lean my body into you. Your arms wrap around me and I turn my head over my shoulder to kiss you. Immediately your lips are on mine in a kiss that literally takes my breath away. Before I can pull away you've flipped me over so that my back is propped against your stomach and your hand is snaked over the front of me.
My eyes fly open as you enter me and I can't help the sounds that pass through my lips. No words are exchanged between us as your pace in me becomes more frantic, my body jerking with every stroke. I don't know how long we continue like this before I ask you if this is really happening. If this is a dream. You answer no with a long kiss, your tongue flicking my top lip as we part. Even though I know this is real, a part of me is still scared I'll wake up and you'll be gone. I move my hand from it's place on the bed and lightly rest it on yours still inside me. I just need to make sure. You slow your movement for a moment and kiss me gently before thrusting into me harder than before. I think I let out an "Oh God", but I'm not sure.
After what seems like an eternity you flip me completely onto my back and prop yourself above me. You're resting on my right leg and I can feel you through your panties. I'm too lost in what you're doing to take them off you. As you start to frantically plant kisses all over my body I find my way to you and slip my hand inside the damp cotton barrier. Your body falls down onto me as I make contact , but a moment later you continue your attention on me. I touch you gingerly, remembering how good it feels to be with you. As you move downward I have to stretch to not lose contact, but eventually I have to break away.
As you place yourself between my legs, you never remove you fingers from me, and I can't remember a time when I last felt like this. Not even with you. I gasp as you part me, as your mouth takes me in, and I try to make eye contact with you. Our eyes lock for a moment before you do that curling thing with your finger tips that I love so much and I throw my head back into the bed. The one hand I'm not clutching the sheets with finds it's way to your face and I stroke the side of you as you continue to do what I've been longing for since we parted. My body is on the brink of going over, but you know how to keep me just at the edge. Your fingers are so deep inside me that the pressure is almost too much to handle, and eventually when you decide I can, you let me go and I feel myself arch higher than I ever have. My body jerks and spasms under you and you place your strong hands on my hips to steady me. Even after I've told you I can't anymore you don't stop and I eventually have to physically pull you away. As you make your way up to kiss me I realize you're still inside me and I don't want you to leave. I don't even realize when both your hands find their way around my body. I can still feel you inside me.
Lingering above me, you prop yourself up and search my face as I do your. It feels like a lifetime before your lips part to speak.
"I love you..." Your breathless whisper makes my body jump and I pull you down into me as I return the feelings. We hold each other for what seems like forever before our lips find the others again. Our kisses go from soft to frantic and back again twice before I slip my hand down your body and push off the clothing you still have on. As soon as the barrier is gone I can feel you on my leg and even after I've rolled you onto your side I can still feel a trace of you there. I forgot how I could make you feel. My left hand finds its way downward and I see the smile in your eyes. We both know I've never been good with my left hand, but we both say nothing, for fear of breaking the moment. I try anyway. What doesn't seem like that long later I feel you tighten around me, your hands scratching at my back, your lips kissing me hard. Just like I had to do to you, you eventually physically pull me away. I snuggle into you as I collapse by your side. You turn to face me with a smile.
"Wow...." I stare into your eyes and push the few strands of hair from your face.
"Yeah....I've missed you Liv..." You pull me into an embrace before pulling back to meet my eyes.
"I've missed you too...Don't ever leave me again....." I hear the sleepiness in your voice set in and I know it will be just a matter of moments before you're asleep. You roll on your side and I snuggle up to you realizing I'm no longer half as tired as I was an hour before. Nor am I half as scared. And I know with each day it will hopefully get easier.
Outside the bells from the cathedral chime two and I glance to the space between the window and the blinds. The snow has started to fall again and in the morning there will be nothing but a blanket of pure white over a city, and a life, that has already welcomed me home.
The End