DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of these characters; all rights go to
those who do. I am just using them
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is my first attempt at fan fiction, so any feedback would be greatly appreciated!
SERIES: First in the Unrequited Love Series
SPOILER: Crash and Burn
I'm Not Sure How it Happened
I'm not sure how it happened. I mean I thought we were just friends. Hell, I'm not even sure we were that. Yeah, okay maybe we said our occasional "Heys" and "How are yous," but beyond that there was never really anything. We were basically acquaintances. We worked together and we were civil but we didn't know really know each other. We went about our business with this kind of unspoken agreement; I let her do her job, and she let me do mine. I only say that, because neither one of us ever really made an effort to change it around. I mean, shit I have always been careful to never let my person and professional paths cross. But it's funny how in one moment, one morning, and in one conversation that could all be changed.
It was directly after we finished talking to Diane Lambert's grandson, Cory. Sara and I were ready to head home and then he walked in. I don't know if she knew, but I knew even before he said two words. I could see it coming a mile away. I could sense it in his body language and read it in his face. I also put two and two together early, when we discovered that he was sitting with another woman in the window of a bar. Call it women's intuition or just good old fashioned experience. Sara, however just completely dismissed the obvious. I mean, as far as CSIs come, she is one of the best; but her perception was blinded by her trust. She honestly had no idea Hank was screwing Elaine Alcott. How na´ve could she really be? Was she that blind to think they were just having a drink? What ever runs through that girls mind, I'll never know.
But then that somehow changed. I realized that day she came back from talking to Elaine and told me that she had nothing to add to the case, she was upset. Again I say, she is a wonderful girl, but terrible at lying and hiding her emotions. She had found something to tip her off and now she was internally paying the price for her stupidity and misplaced trust. That's when I started to regret not telling her. Than again, that would have unwillingly put me in the "most hated person alive" category and I certainly didn't feel like going there. But still I couldn't help but feel like I betrayed her, almost as much as Hank did.
I was blatantly aware of the heated tension between the two lovers so I took that as my cue. I quickly dismissed myself from the building and headed to my car. I still am not all to clear on the details of what happened in the building; all I knew was when I saw Sara leaving that my suspicion was confirmed. There was no doubt about it, they were over!
God knows that Sara Sidle wasn't my first choice for a drinking companion, but I couldn't just let her go through this alone. Despite what most people believe I am not a heartless bitch. I have been there before and I just couldn't do that to her. Not now, not when she truly needed a friends. So I immediately reverted to mother mode and offered to get a beer with her. I know, I know 9:30 in the morning isn't exactly the best time to attempt a drunken journey, but unfortunately it was all I had to offer.
I didn't think much of it at the time, but it seemed like she rather enjoyed my feeble offering to be her confident; and I must say that I am not to sure how I felt about that. But then again that was Sarah. I mean, out of all the CSIs I've worked with in my time, she seemed to be the only one that has ever managed to get under my skin. I could never read her and just when I thought I may have crossed a bridge, another damn goes up. I admit that in the past I haven't made much of an attempt to be kind but the main reasons were always the same. I never felt there was a point. Even if I did break her down, would she just re-build? The one thing I am more than certain about is that even thought she drove me completely nuts, there was this other side of me that had a hidden desire to spend more time with her. Call it what you will but that is how I feel and frankly that scares me. But today I was finally going to unravel the mystery that is Sarah Sidle.
As we drove to Carl's Pub outside of Vegas nothing much was said. She just sat in the passenger's side staring directly ahead at the road. Finally, when we reached our destinations I witnessed a shocking and somewhat painful moment that I don't ever care to relive again. Sara unbuckled her seat belt and when she tried to open the door she lost it. Her head dropped in her awaiting hands and she began to sob. I sat there in a daze, just staring at the co-worker who showed no emotion. I was pleased but at the same time overtaken by pain myself. To see her in this kind of condition was not what I meant by wanting her to open up. So I did the only thing I could think of. I casually unlatched my seat belt and slid over to where she was falling apart. I then proceeded to lay her head on my shoulder and just let her cry.
I must have sat there for over ten minutes just gently rocking and soothing her. I was almost starting to enjoy it and then she broke our contact. I felt her body's absents almost immediately. The loss of heat and the desire of wanting more left me with the wish that she would start to break down again so I could resume my holding her. It would have been the perfect excuse to be near her; but unfortunately, she had other plans. I sat there and watched blankly as she exited the car. She headed into the bar and I soon followed. I was delighted when she picked the booth in the furthest right corner. That was a great place for us to truly be alone and get a change to know each other.
Would you believe that we spent over two and a half hours talking? Not just about what happened with Hank but about everything. We discussed the first times in our lives. Everything from the boyfriends we had to the friends we have now. We talked about everybody at the office and about us. We also used this time to clear the air. I forgave her for not being able to solve Eddie's case and she forgave me for being such an ass to her when I knew deep down she tried more then her best to solve the case. Oddly enough, I didn't do much of the drinking, but Sara on the other hand downed about five beers and was still going strong. And that's when it happened.
I was telling her about the first time I met Warwick and how I knew instantly that we were going to be inseparable and then she asked me something I never thought I would hear out of her mouth. Sara Sidle, Miss tough girl asked me is she was my friend. I couldn't help but be a little flattered, because the look in her eyes was so begging for acceptance that I do believe it was one of the cutest things I have ever seen in my entire life; and at the same time it was attractive to me. I then felt myself moving closer towards her. I could still sense her brown eyes upon me just waiting for me to give her the answer she was looking for. And as my face reached her's, I could almost feel the change in expressions. I didn't care, because a small force was pulling me closer and closer to her exquisite lips that were beckoning me; and in less then five seconds I was breathing the same air as she was. Then she dropped her head back down towards the table and I snapped out of my daze. I caught sight of what to me was the most beautiful and obviously so un-interested women in the world. Then it hit me like a hurricane go four hundred miles an hour, I just tried to make a move on Sara. That's when I knew it was time to take her home.
We arrived at her apartment around 1:00 pm and thankfully she was pretty much out of it. I walked her up to her place and tucked her into bed. If she only knew that thoughts I was thinking in my head she might not have been so quick to fall asleep.
And suddenly there I was standing over her body. I couldn't help but notice her stunningly gorgeous she was when she slept, so peaceful and yet restless. If she only knew how much I wanted to crawl in next to her make love to her she might not have done what she was about to do.
I turned to walk out of the room and then I felt a hand reach out and grab my arm. Then with the most beautiful words I think I ever heard, she simply asked me to stay. After picking my jaw up off the ground I realized I was being pulled into bed. As I reached the side of the bed she lifted the covers and eased me in. I felt her shift her position to allow me the ability to make myself more comfortable. Then as I situated myself into a more desirable position I noticed two familiar and more than welcome arms being brought up towards my lower body and take me into a hug. I thought I was going to faint. She scooted closer to fully wrap her arms around me and laid her head on my shoulder. I could have sworn I was in heaven. She then placed a gentle kiss on my cheek and said, "Thanks for staying."
Like I said I am not sure how it happened, but one thing's for sure I am definitely not complaining!
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