DISCLAIMER: Joss Weldon, Mutant Enemy, and C20th Fox; a News Corporation own the rights to Buffy The Vampire Slayer. I have not to my knowledge made any money from this fic.
Stop Crying Your Heart Out, is written by Noel Gallagher, and is performed by Oasis, from their album Heathen Chemistry.
This Fic concerns a consenting relationship between to females, and is rated PG15, for language, and sex scenes.
BETA READING: By Dee Jay
FEEDBACK: (email@example.com) I am a feedback junkie, so please fulfill my craving, before I get the DT's!
Stop Crying Your Heart Out
The young lady, put her boots up on the table, and supped at her beer. "How did we become Immortal?" She looked at her love, and then at the young Immortal student who had asked the question.
"It happened well over two hundred years ago, in the country that used to be called the United States of America."
PART ONE: RECONCILIATION
Chapter One: Los Angels
The phone rang at 6am, waking me with a start. I had been working on case with Soul Boy, for over 24 hours without sleep, and even being a Slayer, I was feeling dead tired.
"Angel Investigations," I mumbled down the handset, still half asleep.
"Faith she's dead, and Buffy's gone missing."
I immediately woke up, as a sickening feeling developed in my stomach. "Buffy's dead?" I asked.
"No " (My relief only lasted for a second) " Mom's dead, Buffy found her yesterday, now she has disappeared." Dawn finished starting to cry.
"Oh God D' I am so sorry." Being sympathetic was not one of my strong points, particularly when you are trying not to cry yourself.
After a few minutes Dawn stopped crying, and I managed to pull myself together.
"Ok, I'll get Angel and the others to search here, she may be on her way, I'll come to Sunnydale, and there's a few 'slayer' places where she could be holed up"
I glanced at a clock. "I should be up there by lunchtime at the latest."
"Thanks Faith," Dawn whispered and put the phone down.
"No worries D," I replied into the dead receiver.
I carefully put the handset down, and started to cry myself.
Chapter Two: Six Months Earlier.
Everything was so vivid, if it only happened yesterday
"You Bastard!" I cried, as I removed the knife from Wesley's arm.
I was holed up in some old warehouse, after kidnapping Wesley.
"It's you and that fucking council, that drove me away, from her. The one person who ever really cared about me. The one person who I really ever loved."
"It wasn't just his fault Faith."
I turned around to see B, Giles, and Angel standing there. The woman that was my slayer in arms, and like I always had to do, I had to hurt her.
"So B you have come to finish me off?" I started to walk towards her offering her the knife.
Buffy walked slowly towards me, "No Faith," she said. "I have, we have come to apologies to you, and to help you. Like we should have done."
I stopped walking, and stood there looking at her "What do you mean apologizes, I am the evil one. Kill me now before I do more damage."
She approached me cautiously. "Listen to me Faith, we were never there for you. True, that Wesley was doing the councils duty, but Giles could have stopped him, and reasoned with him. The Council didn't come to tidy up the mess, like they should have done. Angel was selfish, and wanted things to be the way they were, when he knew they couldn't. I was the worst. I wasn't there for you when we killed the Deputy Mayor. I went to Angel, instead of helping you, and drove to you the Mayor, and then I put you in a coma for eight months." She finished.
I started to cry. "No B, none of it's your fault. It is all mine."
I turned the knife towards me, getting ready to stab myself with it. B swiped it away, and pulled me into an embrace.
"God B", I sobbed, "please kill me, I can't take this any more." My legs gave way, and we gradually sank to the floor.
B started to stroke my hair slowly. "Shhh, It's all right Faith I've got you." Then she started to sing in my ear:
Don't be scared.
You never change what's been and gone.
May your smile,
(May your smile).
Don't be scared,
(Don't be scared).
Just need me to keep you warm?
But all of the stars,
Are fading away.
Try not to worry,
You'll see them some day.
Take what you need,
Be on your way.
And stop crying your heart out.
I can't remember much after that. Giles gave me something to calm me down, and some how ended back at Angel's, and B putting me to bed, and climbing in besides me, and she held me all night.
A friend of Giles' had arrived from England.
Later I found out that she was a trained councilor, but also ran a paranormal investigation agency, and had worked for time to time for the Watchers Council.
At first Buffy did not want anything to do with her, fearing that she would take me away from them, and back to the council, but after a while of extremely heated argument, (I have never seen B and Giles argue like that before). Charity, (Later, when I found out her name, it took me twenty minutes to stop laughing, see it was Charity Hope) and Giles finally managed to convince Buffy, that it was what I needed. (It then took a long while for B to convince me).
The first thing Charity did was to put me on 24-hour suicide watch. B immediately volunteered to keep a watch on me. That meant she had to stay with me for 24 /7, for an unspecified amount of time.
At first there was an uneasy silence between us, as either of us didn't know what to say, to each other.
B found a pack of cards, and I suggested that we played strip porker. This made Buffy smile, which in turn got me giggling, which got B laughing. Twenty minuets latter G-man found us in hysterics.
After that, even if I had not been on suicide watch, there was no way that we could have been separated.
I think that the meeting I had with Joyce, Mrs. S, was the most terrifying thing I had ever done.
But I was surprised, Joyce, (and Dawn) had stood by me, even when I had her held at knifepoint.
I can't say what she talked about, because even after all these years, I will keep to the promises I made to her.
The worst was to come, me recounting my life. At first I couldn't stand going, if it wasn't for B and Mrs. S accompanying me, I would have quit.
I didn't want everyone to know, that my mum was a drunk and a junkie, and my step dad, when not abusing me, whored me out, to the dealers, for some free shit.
(Ohh, didn't I tell you the whole of the Scooby gang had come to L.A, at first it was only Dawn, and Mrs. S, but soon, Red, Tara, Xander, and Anya had appeared.)
It was during these group meetings, as they had become, (myself, B, Joyce, D and the rest of the Scooby gang, (Joyce, and B, had to force them at first!)), that B and I admitted that we had feelings for each other. All right we were head over heels in love!!
There was complete silence after that revelation came out.
"You really mean it B?"
B, who was sitting next to me grabbed my hand, she was about to open her mouth, but saw that everyone was still in the room.
Charity, got the message, and ushered everyone out. Before she left, she asked me if she could leave her tape recorder running, promising that only she would listen to what it had to say. I nodded my consent, and she left.
B, who had never let go of my hand got up and sat on my lap, and kissed me gently on the lips. I opened my mouth. To let her in, and we gently kissed, not for long, but it didn't matter, I got my answer from that single kiss.
She broke the kiss and looked at me. "Does that answer your question?"
I grinned and kissed her back, but with more passion than before. We broke contact both gasping, having to breathe.
"Damn right it does."
I looked at her, dreading the next question, but I knew it had to be asked. "That fight we had at the apartment, why did you stab me?"
B began to cry, so I held her. "I don't know, why, I never really wanted to. Angel was going to leave, and I knew I had to save him."
"But you used your own blood."
"I know. I don't think I was fighting you, I was fighting myself, for getting you in this position."
"Like I did when I was in your body."
"Do you know why I first went to the Mayor?"
"After we killed Alan, I could feel us drifting apart, and I was losing it. I thought if I go undercover, I could win you back."
I tried to hold back the tears, but they came pouring down my face.
"That night when I held you captive at Angel's mansion, I knew he was faking it."
B looked at me in amazement, and I actually started to laugh.
"Fuck B, do you really think I would have tortured you. If I wanted you dead, I would of just done it."
B started to get angry, and then it dawned on her. "Oh my god, all that information, you gave me, you were just passing it on!"
"I had to make it realistic, because, I thought the Mayor had the place bugged."
"So who told you that Angel had still got his soul?"
"It was Wesley!"
Buffy stood up, and ran out of the door. I chased after her, and caught up, as she hit Wesley.
Angel and I pulled her off, and Giles demanded to know what was going on.
"He set her up. He knew that Faith was going under cover, and he didn't tell anyone!"
"What do you mean?" Joyce asked.
I sighed, and pulled B tighter in my arms, partly to stop her hitting Wesley again, but mostly, to make me feel more secure.
I repeated the story, and continued from where I left off.
The mayor knew what I was doing, and told me that if I didn't work for him, he would have killed you, Red.
(Willow gasped at this.)
I looked at B. Doing those things, to you, even though I was only pretending, and then when he threatened you and Red, two people I care about.
"You care about me?"
"Of course Willow, I cared, I still care about you all."
"Anyway it finally pushed me over the edge."
I looked accusingly at Wesley, "but you could of saved me. If you had told B what had gone on, she would of rescued me. But no, you and that fucking council, left me out to dry!"
"Even on the roof, if B had asked me to help Angel, I would of, but she didn't because she thought I had gone over to the dark side."
B had started to cry, "Oh god Faith I am sorry, I never knew!"
"Sssh B, it's not your fault."
I could feel the anger building up, my slayer temper ready to come to the surface. If it wasn't for B and I comforting each other, I would of gone for Wesley there and then.
I practiced a deep breathing exercise that Angel had taught me, and pulled my temper back under control.
I was about to say something, when an angry English voice beat me to it. "Have you got anything to say?"
Giles walked in front of Wesley. "Is that all you can say?"
Giles walked up to me, and placed his hand on my shoulder. "She was just a girl of sixteen, you know what had happened to her, and you let the Council use her, no worse, you were an accomplice with them, like she was just a tool to be discarded."
"What else can I say!"
Giles was not finished. "The worse thing was that you covered it up all this time."
"I was acting on orders, like you were when Buffy turned 18."
At this, I could see both B, and the G-man flinch.
"There is difference!" (This came from B). "Giles knew what he did was wrong, and admitted so afterwards, and even came to help me, costing him his job as watcher. You just covered up your own and the councils mistakes"
I could feel B's body tensing against mine, and I knew she was trying to control her own temper. I held her tighter, and gently stroked her hand with my thumb.
Angel looked at Wesley. "I think you should go now."
Wesley looked at the group standing in the Hotel's lobby. He must have realised that he wasn't coming back. "You know I am not sorry, and Giles is wrong. The Slayers are tools to be used against evil".
"And Faith is a defective one at that, she shouldn't even be here, it would have been better if she had died."
With that he left.
I could feel a hole open up under me, and I would have fallen in if it weren't for B and the others.
They convinced me that the majority of what happened was not my fault, and I should not blame myself.
It took a while, but they did.
After another couple of weeks B, and the Scoobies headed back. Term at College was starting, and B was needed in Sunnydale. A Demi-god, named Glory, was looking for a key that would open a dimensional doorway.
I was needed down here. Wolfram & Heart was giving Angel trouble.
As for Wesley, he had disappeared, but I had a feeling that we would hear from him some time in the future.
I continued to work for Angel. B and I would talk everyday on the phone. Then one day, a few weeks after she got, back, B phoned me extremely upset.
Mrs. S was in hospital. Giles had found her collapsed at the Art Gallery, she had a tumor, and they were operating straight away.
I raced up there, and was there, for three weeks, while Joyce recovered, looking after Dawn (did I mention that I had a soft spot for Dawn, I haven't got any younger brothers or sisters, haven't got any older ones for that matter, so I sorta adopted D!), and helping B with the slaying.
It was then I meet and discovered two things. Firstly, I met Spike, (all right, I had met him before, but I was in B's body). We did not get on at first, but after he saved D's skin one night, that I started to look at him differently, (actually D got me to look at him differently, she's good at that), then I found out that Dawn was the key.
Spike and I were on patrol together, when we found that the Magic Box had been broken into.
Spike and I went to investigate, when we found D crying in the middle of a pile of books.
When she had finally calmed down, we discovered that she was the ancient key that Glory was looking for.
Of course Spike and I were shocked, having been kept in the dark, (we later found that Buffy had only told Giles.)
Anyway we managed to entice D out of the shop, and we all set off back to B's mom's house, to confront Buffy.
Unfortunately, we got ambushed by a group of vamps. I stayed to slay them, while Spike took Dawn home.
Later after I finished my patrol, I cruised by the tomb that Spike used as accommodation, only to find B beating the shit out of the chipped vamp.
It took all my Slayer power to pull Buffy off Spike, and it was here, that B and I had our first row, since she guttered me.
"Shit B," I said, "What the fuck are you doing?"
"Beating up Spike, what does it look like!"
"Why?" Is the only thing I could say.
"Because he let Dawn find out she was the key, and it should have been me that told her."
"Sorry to point this out Slayer but I wasn't the only one there." Spike growled, angrily.
I walked over to him, and looked at his battered face. "Man you aint half going to be sore for a few days."
"Thanks for the diagnosis, Doctor Faith!"
I gave Spike a look, and turned my attention back to B. "So when were you going to tell her?"
"I don't know," she whispered, "I didn't seem to have the time".
"Well it's a bit late now!"
B looked shame faced. "I hadn't told anyone, apart form Giles."
"WHAT!" Spike and I exclaimed.
I looked at him, and he shrugged his shoulders, and mouthed "Don't look at me, you're her girl friend!" And took a swig out of the bottle of JD I had bought him.
"So B, what were you going to do, throw us all a surprise party, and casually announce it?"
"Course not, I just didn't know how to handle it, and any way you would have acted differently around her."
She had a point there!
I sighed, grabbed the bottle of JD from Spike, sat down, and took a swig. "So what you going to do?"
B perched herself on my lap, and started to kiss me. Shit, I hate the way she does that, she knows how I can't refuse her anything, or stay angry when she does that.
"I don't know," and started to cry.
Spike made an excuse, and disappeared, to give us some privacy.
I kissed her softly. "You know when you said that I should stop trying to cope on my own, and that you would be there for me?"
B nodded her head.
"Well it goes for you too, you don't have to cope on your own Buffy, we are all here for you."
"I know, but it's hard to let go."
"As you said to me, it takes time B, but it will get better, but please don't leave me out of the loop, cause I couldn't stand it again."
I grinned at that point, "cause you remember what happened last time."
B grinned back. It was amazing that our relationship had come so far so quickly, that we could joke about what happened in the past.
"We weren't five by five then!" She replied.
She slipped off my lap "Are we five by five now? She asked.
"Yeah B we're five by five."
She held out her hand. "Come on, lets go talk to Dawn, and get Spike fixed up."
We found Spike outside, sitting on a tomb, smoking a ciggy.
B looked at him. "Spike?"
"Sorry that I beat the shit out of you."
"No worries love, I am a Vampire, I've had worse!"
He jumped down from the tomb, and turned towards her. "Look after your sister, Slayer. From what I have been hearing, if Glory gets hold of her, it won't be pleasant for her," he finished, and walked on a head.
Buffy shrugged her shoulders, and walked out of the cemetery, I shook my head, and wondered if this night could be any weirder.
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