DISCLAIMER: CSI is the property of CBS and Jerry Bruckheimer.
SEQUEL/SERIES: This drabble follows on from Eventually.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
PAIRING: Sara/Sofia

Why?
By ralst

 

Anniversaries are such strange events; people gathered together for the sole purpose of celebrating the fact you and your loved one haven't broken up yet. Some of them, or one to be precise, secretly cursing the fact you're still happy, still together.

When Sara and I first started seeing each other I thought it would be Grissom who'd have a problem accepting it, but I couldn't have been more wrong. There was a sadness, hidden deep in his eyes, but it wasn't projected towards us. He accepted Sara and I even before we did, his pain focused solely on his own inadequacies, his inability to risk it all and really try and connect with Sara. In a strange way, having his heart broken by our love was probably the best thing that could have happened to him. If he'd never faced his pain he would never have found Roxanne.

With Catherine it was different. She harboured no desires that could be vanquished, or prejudices that would need to be addressed. She simply hated the idea of us together. Happy. She'd fake a smile and pretend to accept us, but her words would be that much more caustic and her tone laced with anger. I always thought we were just a casualty of her pain over losing a chance with Warrick, but even after he and Tracy separated Catherine's vitriol didn't wane.

I'm glad Warrick and Tracy were able to work things out, but a small, selfish part of me can't help wondering if Catherine would have been easier to handle if Warrick had at least given her a chance at seducing him during his months alone. I said that to Sara once and she accused me of falling into the old 'all she needs is a good...' trap, but then gave me one of her smiles and offered to bribe Warrick into giving it a try.

Not that Catherine hasn't had her fair share of romantic partners over the last decade, but somehow none of them have stopped the envious look in her eyes. Envy not of us, but of what we've found. Two women she'd probably long labelled as losers in the field of romance, finding love where she couldn't. The outsiders finding a home and pushing the den-mother back into her niche.

Sara says I pay too much attention to Catherine's moods, and she's probably right. Once Catherine transferred to days I no longer had to worry about her unleashing her pique on Sara over a case, or browbeating Gil to go harder on his favourite. But it still never stopped me from wanting to know why.

Why hate our happiness?

The End

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