DISCLAIMER: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit and all characters are property of NBC and Dick Wolf.
SERIES: Seventh in the Defying Gravity series following Fallen, Forgiven, Reality, Silence, Lost and Mistaken.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.

By Les Miserables 1998

Every day I wake up, I am a day closer to seeing you again.


Have I been so beguiled as to be blind to my most grievous loss?
That thoughts return was the worst pain that sorrow ever bore, save one, one only.
When I stood forlorn knowing my heart's treasure was no more…


"Baby?" Kate stopped walking and turned to face Olivia.

They had been walking for nearly half an hour in silence when Kate finally spoke.

Olivia blushed slightly. "Yeah, sorry about that, Kate. I just can't believe that Alex is with Liz Donnelly. Damn!"

"I figured you were trying to make her jealous." Kate replied.

"I'm really sorry, Kate. It just came out of my mouth."

"I know, Liv. It's all right. Really." Kate reassured her friend.

Olivia stopped walking and sat on a nearby bench.

"Kate?" Olivia started. "I have to fight for her. I have to at least try, don't I? We've been through too much together for me to just let her go."

"Do you love her?" Kate countered.

Olivia thought for a moment. A smile parted her lips as she answered. "I do. I do love her."

Kate took a seat beside her friend. "Then do it. Let Alex know how you feel about her. Let her know that you won't give up easily. MAKE her believe."

Olivia shook her head slowly. "Kate, you are the best!" Olivia said jumping from the bench and reaching for her cell phone. She dialed Alex's number…

Alex sat across the table from her boss. Was this real? What the hell was she doing? Liz Donnelly? A million thoughts flooded Alex's mind.

"Where are you, Alexandra?" Liz's voice cut through the cloud of thoughts.

"Oh, sorry." Alex replied. "I just have a lot on my mind."

"I'm glad that you decided to have dinner with me tonight." Liz said. "Actually, I have wanted to ask you out for a while. Then I thought that you and Olivia were together so I backed off."

Alex said nothing so Liz continued.

"Alex, if you aren't seeing anyone, then maybe…"

Alex poured another glass of Merlot.

"You'd better slow down on the wine." Liz cautioned her dinner companion. "I think you've had enough."

Yeah, I've had enough, Alex thought. I've had enough of trying to extinguish my desire for Olivia. I've had enough of being afraid to love her, of trying to hide my love for her.

"I'm fine, Liz." Alex argued as she drained the glass of wine in one large gulp.

Liz didn't know whether to laugh or to admonish the young ADA. Alex was clearly drowning her sorrows. Maybe Liz could help with that…

"You know," Liz began, "I'd better get you home." Liz signaled for the waiter. As he approached, she asked for the ticket.

Liz paid the tab, and walked over to Alex to help her out of the chair.

Alex was slow getting out of the chair, and stumbled on her way out the door.

Liz hailed a cab and the two women got in. Liz was in control now.

When the cab pulled up to Alex's apartment, both women got out. Liz paid the fare and sent the driver on his way.

Alex was definitely buzzing, but she was well aware that Liz was with her as they entered the apartment. The phone was ringing but stopped just as the women opened the door.

"Liz, thanks for the help, but I can manage on my own from here." Alex suggested.

"I don't mind staying for a little longer." Liz replied. "Why don't I help you into some more comfortable clothes."

Alex's mind was fuzzy. Liz was coming onto her. Alex knew what was happening, but she was too drunk and too tired to resist. Besides, why should she resist? Olivia was with someone else right now. God, Alex's heart ached. How had they gotten to this point? How had things become so messed up? Alex thought back to a time when she and Olivia were happy, in love.

She looked at Liz. "What the hell," she mumbled.

Olivia closed her flip phone.

"No answer?" Kated asked?

"No." Olivia looked dejected.

"Don't tell me you are giving up that easily, detective." Kate chided. "What's your next move?"

Olivia looked down.

"You are going to find Alex and tell her how you feel, remember?" Kate encouraged her friend.

Olivia smiled. "Yeah, I remember. You OK to walk home alone?"

Kate winked at Liv, "I think I can manage. Gook luck!"

Olivia watched as Kate walked down the street.

OK, Liv, she thought to herself. Time to put your stubbornness to good use.

Olivia began to walk at a steady pace straight to Alex's apartment.

Liz walked Alex back to the bedroom. Just before they entered, Liz took Alex in her arms and kissed her softly on the lips. Alex did not pull away, and Liz was pleased. Liz pushed Alex into the room and backed her onto the bed. Liz kissed the young ADA more passionately this time. Alex let out a soft moan as Liz began to push up her skirt. Liz knew that Alex was drunk, but right now she did not care. This felt too good. Alex pulled at Liz's shirt and it easily came out of her skirt. Liz was on top of Alex now kissing her fiercely.

"God, Olivia, I love you so much." Alex moaned.

Liz stopped abruptly. That was a mood killer.

Liz sat up and got off the bed. She looked down at Alex who was in the process of passing out.

"Olivia." Alex moaned again.

"Alex, it's me, Liz" Liz tried to stir the intoxicated woman, but Alex was already gone.

Liz let out a disappointed sigh. Suddenly she heard a knock at the door.

Liz wondered who that could be. She walked into the den as another knock resounded.

"Alex, you in there? It's Olivia."

Liz smiled a wicked smile and went to the door.

"Hello, Detective Benson." Liz said coolly.

Olivia couldn't hide her anger. "Where's Alex?" Olivia demanded, pushing her way into the apartment.

"She's in the bedroom. Asleep." Liz offered.

"What the hell is going on here?" Olivia asked. She was on the verge of tears.

"Isn't it fairly obvious, detective?" Liz shot back.

Olivia looked at Liz's disheveled appearance and it all clicked. She and Alex WERE really together.

Olivia couldn't handle it any longer. She ran from the apartment and down the street with her heart in a thousand pieces.

The End


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