DISCLAIMER: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit and all characters are
property of NBC and Dick Wolf.
SERIES: Eighth in the Defying Gravity series following Fallen, Forgiven, Reality, Silence, Lost, Mistaken and Broken.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
By Les Miserables 1998
With love like wings did I ore' perch these walls, for stony limits cannot hold love out!
Romeo and Juliet
Alex woke the next morning with a hefty hangover. To say her head hurt would be an understatement. Alex managed to open her eyes and tried to focus on her surroundings.
"Good," she thought. "At least I'm in my own bed."
She turned over to see if anyone was in the bed with her. No one, thank God!
Alex let out a painful moan. What had happened last night? She remembered dinner with Liz, and Liz's coming back to the apartment. She definitely remembered seeing Olivia with that other woman! Damn! Where was Liz? Did anything happen? Alex searched her mind for memories that were not there.
Alex turned back over and looked at the clock: 6:15am. As she tried to sit up, her head began to pound and the room began to spin. "OK, Cabot," she encouraged herself, "You gotta' try to make it to the shower."
Alex managed to get out of the bed and stumbled to the bathroom. She stripped her clothes in one easy motion, turned on the shower, and got in. She let the hot water run down her body for what seemed like forever. Slowly, she began to feel some life return to her tired body.
Alex slowly finished her morning routine and left for the office. She wondered aloud exactly what would be waiting for her when she arrived.
Olivia paced slowly outside the ADA's office. Last night was just too much. She had to talk to Alex and get things straight once and for all! If Alex wanted to be with Liz, then Olivia would accept that, but no more games! She had to know what Alex wanted, and she had to hear it from her, no one else. She continued to wait patiently.
Her patience was rewarded, however, as the young (hungover) ADA approached.
Alex saw Olivia standing in front of her office door, but believed her to be a figment of her mostly dead brain cells.
As Alex neared, Olivia did not disappear. Alex blinked her eyes to clear her head, yet, Olivia was still there. Just the sight of the sexy detective made Alex's heart race.
"Uh, Liv." Alex stammered. "What are you doing here?"
"Alex, we need to talk."
"Okay," Alex answered as she pushed the door open.
She and Olivia entered the office in silence. Neither knew how to begin.
Alex started. "Olivia, about last night, um, Liz and I were just " Alex couldn't finish. Why should she explain anything? Olivia was the one with another woman. She looked away from Olivia and moved to her desk.
Olivia held her hand up. "Alex, it's clear to me that you and Liz are together, and that's fine," Olivia said in a completely calm voice. "I just wish that you had been honest with me from the beginning. I don't appreciate games."
"Games?" Alex looked annoyed.
"Yeah," Olivia continued. "If you wanted to be with Liz then you could have just told me, not make up an excuse like you were scared for people to find out, or make me think that you were choosing the job over me. That hurt, Alex.
Alex remained silent.
"Anyway," Olivia continued, "I'm just glad things are in the open now before I let myself really start to care about you."
Ouch! Those words stung Alex. Really start to care? But I thought you loved me, Alex wanted to shout. Because I loved you! I still love you so much, Olivia. Please forgive me!
"Yeah, well the same goes for me," Alex snorted. "I mean you didn't waste any time, Liv."
"What does that mean?" The detective shot back.
"Forget it," Alex said.
"No, Alex." Olivia's voiced was raised.
"It's evident that we've both moved on, okay, Olivia? Now if that's all, I have a lot of work."
Alex motioned to the door.
Olivia slammed the door as she left.
Olivia was walking with a purpose. She had talked to Alex and determined that things were definitely over with them, so she had one thing left to do: Kick Liz Donnelly's ass!
Olivia made her way up the stairs to Liz's office. She stood outside the door for a moment. She needed to calm down. She wasn't really going to kick the older woman's ass (as much as she wanted to). Olivia just wanted to let off some steam, and Liz was the perfect target.
Olivia knocked on the door and opened it without waiting for a formal invitation to enter.
Liz looked up from her desk, not entirely surprised to see the detective after the fiasco last night in Alex's apartment.
"Detective," Liz began.
Olivia interrupted. "Save it, Donnelly."
Olivia shut the door much too hard and advanced on the Bureau Chief.
A wicked grin appeared on Liz's face as she leaned back in her chair.
"Oh, this is gonna be fun," She thought. "Let the battle began."
"So," Olivia started, "You're the woman of the month?"
"I guess so," Liz said smugly, her narrow eyes never leaving Olivia's.
"You know, you'll never be able to hold her interest. Eventually she'll get bored with you and move on," Olivia shot back.
"Like she did with you, Olivia?"
Olivia was stunned and said nothing.
"I seemed to hold her interest quite well last night." Liz rose from her seat.
Olivia stood frozen. She didn't want to hear any more. She had made a mistake coming here. Yet, she couldn't move to leave.
Liz was now in Olivia's face.
"Let's face it, Olivia. You had Alex and you blew it. She needs someone a little more polished. Someone more of her kind."
Tears formed in Olivia's eyes. Damn! The always strong detective had been broken.
"Besides, what do you care? We both know you have someone else now." Liz added.
Liz stepped back and returned to her desk.
"No, I don't." Olivia said quietly.
Liz looked confused. "But you-"
Olivia finished the sentence. "I was just trying to make Alex jealous."
With that statement, Olivia sank into the chair across from Liz's desk and stared to sob lightly.
She had been broken. Her love for the young ADA was still so consuming that it invaded her rational thought..
Liz was shocked. Olivia Benson, the iron-strong detective, was in her office crying over Alexandra.
Liz never knew what made her change her attitude, but something broke inside her heart. Liz looked at Olivia and thought back to the night before. She and Alex had been passionately kissing, and Alex had called out Olivia's name. Twice. Liz suddenly realized that she would never have Alexandra's heart the way she wanted it. That heart already belonged to the woman sitting in the chair across from Liz.
"Fuck you, Liz." Olivia said as she quickly regained her composure and rose from the chair.
Liz let out a long sigh. "Olivia, wait. I can't do this anymore."
Olivia looked a Liz for clarification.
"Olivia," Liz paused. "There is nothing going on with Alexandra and me." There she said it.
Olivia looked confused. "But, I saw you last night. And at Alex's apartment?"
"She drank too much and I took her home, that's all." Liz offered.
Olivia felt her heart begin to beat again, blood filling her veins.
"Then why did Alex leave me?" Olivia asked.
"Alexandra will have to answer that for you, but I imagine that she just got scared. I saw the two of you in a restaurant one night and confronted her about it. She was very agitated about that."
Liz continued trying to make the detective understand.
"Olivia, I assure you that Alexandra is deeply in love with you. Now what you chose to do with this information is your decision." Liz finished.
"I don't know what to say," Olivia stammered. "Thanks, Liz"
Liz said nothing and returned to her work
Alex sat in her office. Tears streaming down her face. She was furious with Olivia. She was angry with herself, also. She had let the woman she loved leave her office, her life, believing that she didn't love her. Alex had let Olivia believe that she was with another woman. What did it really matter, though? Olivia was with another woman. God, that realization killed Alex.
She had her limits and she could take no more.
Alex tried to calm herself. She looked at the wall clock. "Great," she thought. "I have an arraignment in half and hour. I can't go like this."
Alex got up from her desk and walked down the hall to the bathroom.
Olivia was almost running to get back to Alex's office. She had to make everything right. She had to get Alex back.
"Fuck me Freddy!" Olivia said as her cell phone began to ring.
"Liv, where are you?" It was Elliot. "We got a lead on the Simpson case. Can you meet me at their house?"
Olivia let out a frustrated sigh. ""Yeah, Ell, I'll be there in fifteen."
Olivia slammed her phone shut. Her talk with Alex would have to wait.
The rest of the day seemed to drag for Olivia. She kept looking at the clock.
"Gotta be somewhere?" Elliot asked.
"Yeah, I need to talk to Alex." Olivia replied.
Elliot looked surprised. "You two talking?"
"Elliot," Olivia explained, "Alex isn't seeing Liz."
"What? But I thought you said that you saw them together." Elliot was trying to get the facts straight.
Olivia explained. "It was a mistake. I have to talk to Alex, can you cover for me?"
"Sure, Liv, get outta here," Elliot offered. "Good luck."
Olivia waited on the courthouse steps. She saw Alex come out and walked to her.
Alex shook her head. "Not now, Olivia. In fact, not ever." Alex kept walking.
"Alex, I need to explain something to you."
Alex stopped and looked at Olivia. "I do not want to hear anything you have to say! I am finished with you Olivia, don't you get that? It's over!"
Alex pushed past the shocked detective.
"Alex," Olivia called after the angry ADA, but to no avail. Alex was more pissed off than Olivia had ever seen.
Olivia slowly sat down on the steps.
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