DISCLAIMER: The Facts of Life and its characters are the property of Columbia Pictures Television and Sony Pictures Television. Lost Girl and its characters belong to Showcase. Lip Service characters are the property of the BBC, no infringement intended.
SPOILERS: Lost Girl, Season One, Episode Four. Lip Service Series One.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author.
FEEDBACK: To FOLfan[at]ymail.com
THANKS: To Stacey for the Beta.
Jo & Blair Recap Lost Girl
Episode 04
By Slave2Free
Faetal Attraction
Jo: Episode four begins with a bang, literally.
Natalie: You could say the same thing about episode three, figuratively.
Blair: Shut up, Nat.
Natalie: You're touchy tonight.
Blair: Is Lauren in this episode?
Jo: Yes.
Blair: (sounding less disagreeable) Good.
Jo: Bo and Kenzi run from a building as it explodes in the background, apparently the culmination of their latest investigation.
Jo: After the opening credits, Kenzi sits at the foot of Bo's bed watching Bo sleep.
Blair: And licking a popsicle.
Jo: Kenzi leaps on top of Bo, teasing her with the popsicle.
Natalie: This is kind of kinky, don't you think?
Blair: Um, Kenzi's not supposed to be gay.
Jo: I think she's too young or too straight to know what she's doing.
Natalie: I'm straight, but I knew as early as thirteen that it was kinky to try to stick my popsicle in my friend's mouth before she was fully awake.
Blair: (giggling) I'd love to see you try.
Jo: If you like living dangerously.
Kenzi: (teasing about Dyson) Did you tell him that you wanted him to be your boyfriend, or whatever? Did he say that he loved you?
Bo: He had another woman there.
Kenzi: Oh, tits.
Natalie: My sentiments, exactly.
Bo: Let me go back to sleep. I have the flu.
Kenzi: Bo, that disgusting feeling churning in your guts is not the flu. That's rejection, honey. Oh my God. You have never been rejected before, have you?
Blair: Need I even say it?
Jo: (winking at Natalie) Blair and Bo have a lot in common.
Natalie: Kenzi's feeling very affectionate this morning.
Jo: It's freaking me out a little.
Blair: Would you two please grow up? It's perfectly fine for two friends to cuddle. Right, Nat?
Natalie: (glancing nervously at Jo) Um . . . I . . . um . . .
Jo: If you ever try to stick a popsicle in Blair's ear, I will hurt you.
Blair: Good grief. Kenzi promises to help Bo get over being rejected by Dyson.
Jo: Step one of Kenzi's plan to get Wolf Boy out of Bo's system is a good one. I used to hit a tree, but smashing a car with a sledge hammer looks like a much better way to vent.
Blair: I never rejected you.
Jo: You could be . . . um . . . frustrating.
Blair: (giggling and twirling hair) Oh, that.
Jo: It looks like step two is to put on something sexy and hit the bars.
Natalie: It didn't take long to get Bo drunk.
Blair: Everyone can't put it away the way you can, Nat.
Bo: Dyson is a scratchy-faced grouch, and I should have bit it off when I had the chance.
Jo: I really like this girl.
Kenzi: What else?
Bo: What else? Um, Lauren.
Natalie: Kenzi doesn't notice as Lauren walks up behind her.
Kenzi: Oh my God. Don't get me started on that girl. I mean, how could she be so cold and frigid? She's like a friggin' specula.
Bo: She's here.
Lauren: Hi, Kenzi.
Blair: She doesn't look frigid to me.
Jo: Bo doesn't think so either. Check out the way those two are looking at one another.
Blair: Okay, let's check with the straight girl. What about it, Nat? Does Lauren have a chance with Bo?
Natalie: Yeah, she definitely has a chance. She has more than a chance.
Lauren: You know what? As your doctor, I should recommend against excessive intoxication.
Bo: Who's drunk?
Lauren: Well, we don't know the effect of cocktails on your . . . abilities.
Bo: (laughing seductively and pointing her finger at Lauren's chest suggestively) Well, I'm not a guy.
Jo: Bo caresses Lauren's hair.
Bo: So, I can promise you. Booze does not affect my ability to perform.
Blair: Aw, Lauren looks embarrassed.
Lauren: Well, I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of a drunken succubus booty call so take it easy.
Bo: No promises.
Natalie: Bummer. I thought for sure those two were gonna hook up.
Jo: Lauren's right to turn Bo down. She wants more from Bo than a one night stand and she's probably a little concerned about the fact that Bo could suck the life out of her with one kiss. Before leaving, Lauren asks Kenzi to keep an eye on Bo.
Blair: That's sweet. Lauren cares about Bo even though Bo's acting like an ass.
Kenzi: (speaking about Lauren) That was some serious sparkage. I think she likes you.
Bo: It doesn't matter because Lauren is human. I sleep with her and she dies.
Natalie: That sucks.
Jo: Literally, but it explains why she slept with Dyson instead of Lauren. Lauren may not be the rebound. It could be that Bo just settled for Dyson because she couldn't have Lauren.
Natalie: Jo Polniaczek, if I didn't know better, I'd think you were an idealistic romantic.
Blair: Oh, Jo's the most romantic woman in the world. I'm just usually the only one who gets to see that side of her.
Jo: (blushing) Uh, a guy Fae approaches Bo and invites her to come back to his place and have a threesome with him and his wife. Bo declines, disappointing Kenzi who explains that "a rebound screw is the best way to get over a guy."
Blair: You know I don't like for you to talk like that.
Jo: I was quoting Kenzi. When Dyson and his buddy enter the bar, Bo changes her mind about the threesome.
Natalie: Oh my.
Jo: You're gonna have to narrate this part, Nat.
Natalie: I think the screen shots will speak for themselves.
Bo: (as her eyes turn blue) We're gonna need a safe word.
Jo: Well, Bo has discovered that Dyson isn't the only happy meal in town.
Blair: I'm not happy about this. Getting involved in a drunken threesome is no way to handle rejection.
Natalie: Well, it beats the hell out of punching a tree.
Jo: (squirming uncomfortably) Uh, the Fury Fae, Olivia, comes back the next morning in order to offer Bo an investigative job. When Bo asks about the job, Olivia tells Bo that she wants her to kill a human florist who has been having an affair with her husband.
Blair: You didn't mention that Olivia was part of the threesome the night before.
Jo: It's understood.
Blair: You didn't explain what you mean by 'fury'.
Natalie: Were you even awake during classes at Eastland, Blair? We covered all of this in mythology.
Jo: (Smiling affectionately at her partner) You remember when the Furies tried to make Xena go insane, right? Same thing.
Blair: (Snubbing her nose at Natalie) Thank you, sweetheart. I don't like that Olivia tells Bo that having sex with a human is beneath them. It'll make it more difficult for Bo to be with Lauren.
Natalie: This is priceless, Blair Warner complaining that Olivia is a snob.
Jo: Bo doesn't accept the job, but worries that Olivia will carry through with her murderous plan on her own. She and Kenzi decide to protect the human woman they were asked to kill. They arrive at Jenny's home just as Olivia is attacking the woman with a knife. Bo and Olivia fight and it looks like Olivia is going to scorch Bo's brain with her Fury gaze, but Bo grabs a toaster and turns the gaze back on Olivia, who looks like the definition of crazy as Bo and Kenzi run from the house with Jenny.
Blair: It must be awkward to have the girl you had sex with the night before come at you with a knife like that.
Natalie: That's the chance you take when you pick up random couples in bars.
Jo and Blair: (staring speechlessly at Natalie)
Natalie: Not that I'm speaking from experience. Geez.
Jo: Bo leaves Kenzi to guard Jenny, the human, while Bo goes to visit the Fury and her husband, whose name I can't pronounce. When Bo arrives, she finds the guy she shagged the night before, minus his head.
Blair: One lover tries to kill her with a knife and the other loses his head. See, I told you that having a threesome was a bad way to handle rejection.
Natalie: Don't knock it till you've tried it. You haven't, have you?
Jo: No, she hasn't and she isn't and we're not talking about it anymore. Bo returns home and tells Jenny that her lover has been beheaded.
Blair: Bo consoles Jenny by touching her and giving her a dose of succubus sex vibes.
Jo: It makes Jenny feel MUCH better. Now she's looking at Bo like she'd like a little more touching.
Blair: Dyson visits Bo, asking questions about the murder.
Jo: A very jealous Dyson visits Bo.
Natalie: A very pissed off Bo barely acknowledges his presence.
Blair: I like this episode.
Natalie: Dyson hunts for Olivia while Bo and Kenzi watch over Jenny.
Jo: Jenny, still high on succubus sex juice, makes a play for Bo and Bo tries to let her down gently. Dyson interrupts by calling Bo and telling her that he has Olivia at the clinic.
Blair: Oh, goodie. Doctor Lauren will be at the clinic.
Natalie: Is the relationship between Lauren and Bo the only reason you watch this show?
Blair: Of course.
Jo: Bo arrives at the clinic to find Lauren attempting to help Olivia, who is crazy as a loon and talking mumbo jumbo.
Blair: Olivia, in the middle of her crazy rant, tells Bo that she didn't kill her husband and I believe her.
Jo: I believe her, too.
Natalie: So, Jenny is the murderer?
Jo: It looks that way.
Natalie: And Kenzi is alone with her.
Jo: Yep.
Blair: Bo better hurry.
Jo: Bo didn't believe Olivia. I guess Kenzi will have to save herself.
Natalie: Why not? She saves everyone else.
Jo: While Bo is watching Olivia die, Kenzi finds a bloody saw and Olivia's husband's head in Jenny's things.
Natalie: Poor Kenzi.
Jo: When Bo returns to her apartment, she finds a note from Jenny telling her that she has taken Kenzi. Bo realizes that Jenny is the one with the loose screw in her head, thinking that she and Bo are star-crossed lovers.
Jo: Jenny considers Kenzi her competition for Bo's affection and holds her as bait, waiting for Bo to arrive. Bo comes in smiling, telling Jenny that she is flattered by Jenny's romantic gesture. She continues to sweet-talk Jenny while Kenzi struggles with the ropes around her wrists. Jenny shows Bo her collection of heads of former lovers.
Blair: Don't capture that screen, it gives me the willies.
Jo: Jenny explains that she has placed explosives in the house so that she and Bo can be together forever, in an afterlife kind of way.
Natalie: Bo is almost successful in getting the trigger device for the explosives away from Jenny when Olivia's sisters burst in, eager for vengeance.
Jo: Bo and Kenzi escape, leaving Jenny and the two Furies in the house when it explodes. We've come full circle to the beginning of the episode, with Bo and Kenzi running from the house as it explodes in the background.
Blair: It was okay. I liked the part where Bo and Lauren flirted with one another in the bar.
Natalie: Are you kidding? The threesome sex was hot.
Jo: (glaring) Drop it, Nat. It looks like Bo and Dyson are going to be able to work on investi—.
Blair: No! No, no, no, no, no.
Jo: Princess, what's wrong?
Blair: Didn't you hear what Bo said?
Jo: Um, I thought the show was over. I'll rewind it.
Blair: No, I don't want to hear it again.
Jo: (after rewinding) Wow. Is the hottest succubus on television really offering herself to Wolf Boy for 'no strings attached', fun sex?
Natalie: Damn, I didn't see that coming.
Jo: Wolf Boy jumps all over the 'friends with benefits' offer, of course.
Blair: She must really love him if she's trying to convince him that she'd be happy having sex without any emotional attachment. I'm so sad for Bo.
Natalie: I was beginning to like Dyson, but now I agree with Kenzi. Dyson is a douche.
Jo: I'm sorry, Princess. Don't give up on Lauren, hope springs eternal.
Blair: Enough of this depressing episode. I want to talk about Lip Service. On that show, the girls are all interested in lesbians. Even the men are interested in lesbians, but all the lesbians are really lesbians and not just waiting for the right man to come along. It's fantastic.
Natalie: (grinning) Frankie and Sam finally met one another in episode four.
Blair: (also grinning) I don't think I'd be so calm if one of Jo's old girlfriends walked in on me when I was naked in the shower.
Jo: (grumbling) I don't have any old girlfriends.
Natalie: (snickering) Come on, Blair. What better way to discourage the competition than to let her see your assets?
Blair: (stifling her laugh) Well, do you think Frankie was impressed with D.S. Murray's assets?
Natalie: Obviously you were impressed.
Blair: Shhh.
Jo: Blair isn't interested in anyone's assets.
Natalie: Frankie also has assets. You have to admit that Frankie is gorgeous.
Blair: True, but she can't weigh over eighty pounds. A stiff wind would blow her away. D.S. Murray has a strong, powerful, well-toned body, like Jo.
Natalie: Frankie has prettier eyes, you have to concede that.
Blair: (glancing at Jo) Yes, but I prefer green.
Jo: (from across the room) Why don't Frankie and Sam get together?
Blair: Gross.
Natalie: Gross.
Jo: Give me a break.
Natalie: I'm telling you, Blair, you can't help who you love. Cat wouldn't be asking Sam to do Frankie a favor if she wasn't in love with Frankie.
Blair: Cat shouldn't have lied about who needed the favor.
Natalie: She did it because she's in love with Frankie. It's as plain as day.
Blair: Cat finally told Sam the truth, after lunch with her parents. That's a good sign.
Natalie: You really should get Jo to watch the lunch scene, Blair. I laughed until I cried. Cat's mother is a riot.
Blair: (giggling) Sam handled Cat's mother brilliantly. Did you see how Cat smiled at Sam?
Natalie: Yes. Sam was impressive during lunch. I can't see Cat's mother and Frankie getting through a meal without trying to kill one another.
Blair: So, you're going to join Team Sam?
Natalie: Sorry, Blair. You should know better than anyone that some girls just can't help but fall for the edgy bad girl types.
Jo: (moving quickly toward Natalie) What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Natalie: (looking at Blair for assistance) Nothing.
Blair: You don't have to be bad in order to be edgy. D.S. Murray was plenty edgy in the taxi cab with Cat.
Natalie: Compared to Frankie and Sophie's afternoon, that was exceptionally bland.
Blair: (whispering) Don't talk about that.
Jo: You know that I can hear everything you're saying.
Natalie: Blair thinks you'll freak out if you here the details of Frankie's sex life.
Jo: (shrugging) I don't care what Frankie does.
Blair: Sophie's one-night stand left her apartment keys with Sophie and then Sophie invited Frankie over for a decadent afternoon of . . . the kinds of things Natalie would find interesting.
Natalie: A neighbor called the cops and when they arrived Frankie told them to call D.S. Murray in order to get them out of trouble.
Jo: (trying not to be interested, but failing) You're kidding?
Blair: No. It was so embarrassing for D.S. Murray and Cat. Sam had to vouch for Cat's old girlfriend, who was trashed beyond belief.
Jo: I'd have thrown her ass in jail.
Blair: (cuddling next to Jo) I know.
Jo: D.S. Murray must be whipped.
Natalie: (looking at her whipped friend in disbelief) Being whipped is a very unattractive trait, don't you think, Jo?
Jo: Yeah.
Natalie: Would you like a Team Frankie t-shirt, Jo?
Jo: (cringing at the scathing look from Blair) Uh, no thanks. Blair, um, wouldn't like that.
Blair: (smiling smugly) Hey, Nat. I'm going to use this screen shot of Frankie in our recap. Like it?
Natalie: That is SO unfair. I was serious about dragging out your old eighties hairdo pictures. Don't push me.
Blair: Don't complain. I could have used the shot of Frankie having sex with Jay.
Jo & Blair Recap Lost Girl: Episode 05