DISCLAIMER: The story, and characters and anything and everything
else concerning SG: SG1 belong to MGM, Gekko, Secret Productions
etc, they are so not mine and no money is being made from this and
no copyright infringement is intended.
SEQUEL/SERIES: This story follows A Dream Can Come True, Believe, Wonderful, Like Someone In Love, I Scare Myself, This Girl's in Heaven, In Perfect Dreams, So Happy with You, Always and Forever, An Angle Smile Upon Me , Do What You Have To Do, Stay By Me, I'll Be, Your Guardian Eyes, The Little Things, Some Space, Some Time, One Day, Saying the Words and Proving the Impossible.
SOUNDTRACK: "Natural" by Jill Scott from the Album `Beautifully Human'.
ARCHIVING: Only with the permission of the author
Nothing is More Beautiful
I love it when she forgets herself, when the sheer natural exuberance of being alive overtakes her and she is truly Samantha and the soldier, the scientist are laid aside. I love the way she moves, her lithe athleticism that natural animal grace, almost feline, totally alluring. And she is completely unaware of it, of the admiring looks she gets. Every time I tell her I love her she blushes, her gaze shifting to the floor. She does not believe that she is beautiful. And nothing is more beautiful than loving her. She does not know what she does to me. To the others who watch her and wonder.
I don't wonder. I have the luxury of knowing. Samantha Elizabeth Carter is mine. There's no one else in her life barring our adopted daughter who Sam could not love more if she had given birth to her herself. She's a great kid. I love her too. I bless the day she came into our lives. Something good came out of that terrible time on Hanka.
I can't think of anyone else, barring my parents, who has had such a profound affect on me. She has changed my whole perspective on myself, my life, my ambition. I think about her all the time, when I'm with her, when I'm not. Normally I don't like to be not in control but with her. it doesn't matter. What happens happens. As long as she is with me. As long as she loves me and I love her.
I love to watch her when she sleeps, admiring the softness of her skin, her curves, the long lean lines of her body. The slight frown on her brow as she dreams, the way her lips move as she whispers to herself. She reaches for me, the frown deepens and then her hand finds my hip and she moves closer to me again, a smile touching her lips. I brush my lips gently over her brow.
"I love you," I whisper. "I don't know what I'd do without you."
It amazes me. I had got used to being alone, to fending for myself. To surviving. I had figured that this was how it was meant to be. And then I took up my post with the SGC and discovered that all the certainties in my life were built on decidedly shaky ground. Blue blue eyes and the sweetest of smiles bewitched me. And within months she brought Cassie into my life, our life. Two became three became a family. Complete with dog.
If anyone had told me a year ago I would have laughed in their faces. I didn't have time for a relationship never mind a child.
Janet Fraiser was in love. Just like that.
I realize that I am grinning. I do that a lot lately. Even after days like today. Days when I wonder whether I will ever see my home again, when my friends and colleagues were infected with what turned out to be the remnants of an alien civilization. That reminds me that I'm supposed to be angry with Sam.
"And just when did you get your medical degree, Dr Carter?"
I may be in love but that doesn't mean I've gone soft. I can still muster up a tone of voice concentrated with enough sarcasm to peel off a layer of skin. But I'm beginning to think that she's immune. I had started Jack O'Neill on a course of antibiotics to stop the bacteriological onslaught that was killing him. And a certain Captain Carter had took it upon herself to withhold that treatment on a hunch. She killed him. Luckily it was only temporarily.
No one died today. I reach over, kiss her again. "What am I going to do with you?"
Sleep shadowed eyes open, a half smile quirks adorable lips. "Ravish me, I hope."
Now there's a thought.
I'm not quite awake, not quite asleep but I can tell she's watching me again. Even before she kisses me and I hear her say that she loves me.
My heart soars. I know that this relationship is. outside the bounds. I won't say its wrong because nothing that feels this good this natural could be wrong. I knew I had. feelings for women before. I did not do anything about them. I was military. I had a career plan, a vocation. I didn't think I would fall in love once never mind three times.
The Stargate. Janet Elyssa Fraiser. And Cassie.
I can't separate them in my mind, my heart. I could not have one without the other two. The Stargate made me realize that there was more to this life than simply living it day to day. The Stargate brought both Janet and Cassie into my life. Janet has changed me made me a better person, a more complete person. Certainly a happier person. She has also saved my life more times than I care to think about. And she provides a stable home for Cassie when I could not in all conscience do so. And my Cassie. Cassie showed me the rightness of what I do, the reason we fight against the Goa'uld. Cassie showed me that it was okay to show that I had emotions, she made us a family.
I should be asleep. We both should. Today was. well, not one of the good days. To be honest I don't know when I last slept. Daniel and I worked through last night and the night before at first on trying to open the Orb and then on trying to stop it destroying us all. The Colonel - well, it all turned out okay in the end. That's what I have to focus on. There's a whole new civilization being born out there thanks to what we did.
She hasn't said anything but I know she was pretty pissed at me. I messed with her medical stuff which is pretty much beyond the pale as far as she's concerned. She was in full NPM mode when she asked me when I'd got my medical degree. Ouch! I was just glad I didn't need any more antibiotic jabs. Okay, technically I did kill the Colonel. But he's pretty much okay now.
Her fingers touch my face, brushing down my cheek and I turn into her touch. I feel her lips brush my brow.
"What am I going to do with you?"
I open my eyes, gaze up into those deep brown lambent eyes that make me melt inside. I smile, see that answering smile that makes me think the sun has risen already. Tempting, doc, so very tempting. "Ravish me, I hope."
Well, I couldn't pass up an opportunity like that, could I?
NOTHING by Jill Scott from the album "Beautifully Human" (Jill Scott, Andre Harris, Vidal Davis)
I gotta admit sometimes I feel weak for loving you the way I do
It's beyond me. I can't control it or force it to be, you know,
what I want it to be
I think about you so much' when I'm with you and when I'm not
It's deep, the way, just looking in your eyes just changes my whole
Nothing is more beautiful than loving you
Holding you being next to you
Moving my hips
Moving in time with you.
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